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RHYS' WILD RIDE
coreyschurman |
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TRINKETS, TOKENS, AND TALISMANS
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Apr 07, 2008 11:20am (EST)
I have been thinking a lot in the past week or so about Rhys’ birth and his early (scary) days in the NICU. I think that the time and distance, as well as my lessened anxiety with each passing day that he grows and develops without bumps in the proverbial road, have allowed me to start processing his birth experience again in a new way. One of the things that I have been thinking about is how special objects helped me (and his Daddy) get through those early days. Two of these objects deserve special note… a silver charm containing a four leaf clover and a mother’s bracelet.
First, about the four leaf clover charm… Corey brought this tiny charm to me in the hospital soon after Rhys was born. He had purchased one for each of us in the hospital gift shop and declared his intention of carrying his with him all the time to bring Rhys (and us) luck during this time. He carried it in his pocket, transferring it each evening to the bedside table and each morning to the pants selected for that day. His hand often reached for it, day and night, reassured when rubbing his thumb over the raised image and feeling its solid weight in his hand. I know how he felt, because I did the same thing… carrying it and using it to get through each day. Having a tangible object upon which to focus our hope and to cling to when our anxieties loomed larger was incredibly helpful. It really became our “lucky charm.” As time went on, our reliance on these charms lessened, but the meaning attached to them remained. Mine recently found its way to Rhys’ keepsake box, for him to use later in life, should a little tangible luck be needed again.
The mother’s bracelet, personalized with Rhys’ name and December birthstone, was a Christmas gift from my sister-in-law. This would have been a sweet and thoughtful gift even in ordinary circumstances, but ended up being a very important object to me throughout Rhys’ NICU stay. When I couldn’t take Rhys home with me right away, the birth experience and even his very existence sometimes seemed surreal. I had a son for the time I was visiting in the NICU, but then I would leave him to the care of others and go to a home that seemed strangely like it was before he was born… still empty and waiting for that little life to fill it. We still did things as a “couple,” rather than as a “family”… even if many of our errands and discussions become baby-related. I often felt strange, especially in public, since no one recognized that I was a new mother – that everything was different now – without that little bundle in my arms. Wearing that mother’s bracelet gave me something solid and tangible to proclaim my motherhood within and outside the confines of the NICU. It gave me a symbolic piece of Rhys to take with me and helped make his existence feel more real when we were apart. Now that he is home and thriving, and I can show him off proudly to others, I don’t feel the need to wear that bracelet every day. But, I think that it will come into frequent use once again when I return to work and want to take a little reminder of him with me as we go through our sometimes separate days.
I guess everyone needs a little trinket, token, or talisman to bring them comfort, hope, and connection at times… and I will forever be grateful for those tiny objects that brought those things to us during a trying time.
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Posted by coreyschurman | Comments: (1) | Permalink
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WHY IS THIS BABY SMILING?
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Apr 02, 2008 09:46am (EST)
Wow! We had heard about how magical those first real baby smiles could be, but we were still utterly unprepared for just how heart-stopping a grin Rhys would turn out to have. Every one (corny as it sounds, and we know it does), is like a little miracle and we will do just about anything (including, sing, dance, or otherwise humiliate ourselves) to see one again. It really does make both Mommy and Daddy pools of parental goo…
We can’t be blamed for that reaction though… I mean, you see the picture below, right? Just imagine the wattage of that smile in person and directed at you alone… it’s obviously irresistible.
Not all has been smiles over the past few weeks, though, as Rhys has been battling the dreaded blocked tear duct in one eye. It comes and goes, leaving an alternately gooey or crusty eye in its wake. I think that the frequent gentle cotton ball cleaning and twice daily tear duct “massage” actually have bothered Rhys more than the gunk, but we have had to persevere despite the screams to avoid a worse fate – infection. We are happy (hence the current smile on Rhys’ face) to report that we appear to be winning the battle now, have successfully avoided eye infection, and have a happier baby now that cleanings and massages have decreased.
In other happy news, after a few crazy days of sleeping all day or not at all, Rhys seems to be settling into a new-and-improved sleep schedule in which he goes back into his crib after the 6am (ish) feeding for a little while longer, thus garnering Mommy gets few extra hours of much-needed rest. Plus, he is sleeping a little longer before the first night-time feeding, so we still only have to do 2 feedings during the night to get him through. Yeah for larger stomachs! It is funny how different babies can be in terms of sleep requirements… our friends with the twins report that they rarely have ever slept during the day and are alert much of the time, while our little guy (much like his parents) appears to need much more sleep and includes several naps during the day in addition to his overnight sleep. I guess he comes by it genetically, and we hope he remains a good sleeper (ensuring the same for Mommy and Daddy) always!
Early smiles
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Posted by coreyschurman | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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LONG LIVE SLEEP!
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Mar 10, 2008 06:24am (EST)
Okay, so Rhys isn’t sleeping through the night yet (not surprising given he is only 3 weeks post his due date), but he did make a major change for the better in his sleep this week…
Ready for it?
For the past two nights, he has slept all night in his big boy crib in his own room!
Mommy and Daddy are so proud of how he transitioned, with no problems at all. In fact, it seems like all of us slept a bit better. For Rhys, we think it is because he is getting more mature, including eating so much more and remaining awake for longer stretches during the day. For Mommy and Daddy, it was definitely because we could turn down the volume on all of his little sleep fussings and gruntings, only really arousing for the more significant stuff. Needless to say, everyone’s mood is improving with this new arrangement.
Rhys also has shown increased maturity in other ways this week. He is more interested in looking around and wants you to keep walking constantly when holding him, so that his view always is changing. He likes watching his crib mobile and even likes being on the mat in his play gym for a bit now, though tummy time (unless it involves reclining on Mommy) still creates a fussy little monster after only a few moments. Still, we see growth and improvement every few days and continue to be amazed how far our little guy has come.
IMG_1321
IMG_1326
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Posted by coreyschurman | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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DREAMING MY DREAMS OF YOU
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Mar 08, 2008 06:30am (EST)
When we do get sleep, the things that we dream about (as I m sure is common, after talking with other parents of newborns) are pretty funky and strange. Sometimes alarming, sometimes amusing, but always interesting...
We both have woken in a panic thinking that we had Rhys in bed with us and that he was being smothered by our weight or the soft bed coverings (thanks to all that material on SIDS that we keep receiving - and we never even take him to our bed briefly in the night!). Ugh. But, last week, Mommy actually dreamt that Rhys spoke his first word... "milk." You can see where her mind is these days! She claims that he just kept saying "milk, milk, milk" over and over again. Not surprising given that he is a BIG eater these days, eating every 1-4 hours depending on level of alertness and the volume consumed at his previous meal. Still, a funny dream that said something about our lives just now in this crazy newborn period... and MUCH better than those other dreams at any rate!
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Posted by coreyschurman | Comments: (2) | Permalink
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RHYS GOES “WIRELESS”
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Feb 28, 2008 12:26pm (EST)
Yesterday was a graduation day of sorts. Rhys no longer has to be connected to an apnea monitor! He had only 4 alarms over the past 6 weeks and none of them were significant, so the doctors at his follow up visit decided that he is free at last. No more electrodes… no more wires… I guess that you could say that Rhys has finally gone “wireless.” Even more impressive, we think, is that Mom and Dad actually still slept last night, never getting up just to check whether he was still breathing. Of course, he IS a very noisy sleeper, but still…
In other news, Rhys also gained another pound over the past 10 days, weighing in at a hefty 8 lbs 2 ozs now. He is cheerfully outgrowing his newborn clothes and moving into the 0-3 month stuff. It is amazing to watch him grow and change on a daily basis. Seems like a minor miracle given his rocky entry into the world!
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Posted by coreyschurman | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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RHYS TURNS 40… WEEKS, THAT IS!
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Feb 17, 2008 07:25pm (EST)
We celebrated a big milestone last week, when our little guy turned the big 4-0 and celebrated his “unbirthday” by visiting the pediatrician and getting his first set of vaccinations. He continues to grow well, hitting 7 lbs 2 ozs on Friday and measuring over 20 inches in length now. He is slowly gaining on the growth chart and is exactly where we would expect when reaching his original due date. We can’t believe how much he has grown!
We also achieved another milestone… Rhys took a very brief nap in his “big boy” crib one afternoon last week. Sure, he was already asleep when Mommy put him down, but he stayed there (unswaddled!) for long enough to allow Mommy to take care of a few things around the house, so we think it counts. Speaking of sleep, we have decided that the one bad night that preceeded our last blog entry was exactly that – one bad night. Since then, Rhys has gone back to sleeping fairly well on his own in his cosleeper at night (so long as he gets plenty of time with Mommy and Daddy during the daytime hours). While we could still use more sleep, we really can’t complain. But, we still dream of the day he sleeps more than 2-4 hours at a stretch…
Finally, Rhys makes Mommy and Daddy laugh (a lot!) with how much he loves his “spa treatments.” Not only does he love a good massage (which helps promote both – ah, how to say this? – digestion and relaxation, but he also absolutely loves having his hair washed! We noticed this first when he was in the NICU. No matter how upset the rest of the bathing process made him, he would close his eyes and visibly relax when we placed his head under a faucet of warm running water. Now, after several weeks of experience with this, he actually relaxes when he hears the faucet turn on – in anticipation – and actually turns his head from side to side slowly under the water as Mommy rubs the shampoo around and rinses it out. It is hilarious and sweet to watch him and to see how much he enjoys it. It leaves us wondering, though, what’s next… pedicures? 
Rhys with Grandma S
First nap in the big crib
Did someone say beach
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Posted by coreyschurman | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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STRIDING TOWARD "FULL TERM"
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Feb 06, 2008 12:07pm (EST)
So, people always say that the first 6 weeks with a baby are the hardest, and that (if you survive) things get easier after that. It seems to us that life with a preemie doesn't follow that rule... in fact, life has gotten harder over the past few weeks as Rhys edges closer to his original due date. First of all, as he has become more alert and aware of his surroudings, he also has become more cranky and exercises his lungs more often (and at louder volume). Don't take that the wrong way - he is still a pretty quiet and easily calmed baby overall, but it IS a big change. He also has thrown his previous NICU schedule for feedings and cares out the window and is now is requesting these things (loudly) on a whim. Plus, even if he requests something, like food, that is no guarantee that he will stay awake long enough to finish it and may decide just to toy with it for a while off and on. It has become much tougher for Mom and Dad to schedule around his needs and plan ahead for anything! Finally, do we even need to mention sleep? He used to sleep very easily - at the drop of a hat - and would sleep pretty much until we woke him for cares. He didn't complain about sleeping on his back, or about sleeping alone. Now, he really enjoys sleeping on his tummy on Mom and Dad... this means that he sleeps soundly in this position and NOT soundly in pretty much any other position or location. This means that getting him to sleep in his crib on his own is more challenging these days, resulting in long bouts of being awake followed by brief naps and then loud complaining for more food and interaction throughout the night. If only we could sleep with him on his tummy on us all night, life would be good... ah, well... we're working on this. Until then, our sleep deprivation will continue.
So, does the 6 weeks start now that he has hit 38 weeks or do we really have to wait until he hits the big 4-0 before that clock starts counting down...?
On the positive side, Rhys has now reached nearly 6 and a half pounds! He is eating and growing like a champ (as you can see by the double-chin and pudgy extremities he has cultivated lately). He remains the apple of our eye, even through the sleepy haze our lives have become.
sweet
sour
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Posted by coreyschurman | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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