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THE SHERIFF TWINS
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NEW DIGS...
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May 04, 2008 08:10pm (EST)
Yay- Matthew is big enough to finally wear clothes. I just logged on to our webcam and thought I was looking at another baby, but sure enough it is Matty in his new digs. He looks so grown up!
He is 3 lbs, 5 oz and though this is tiny for his gestational age, he is growing so that is great. I am not sure if they will try him off CPap now or wait until 1800 grams...they are still concerned that his trachea is not mature enough. I am just praying it develops properly in time without any intervention.
He is so alert and awake now. It is fun to interact with him and watch him change by the day. He and Michael were born 8 weeks ago today...it is hard to believe. We have traveled a long, hard road since their diagnosis with TTTS in mid-December. All of Matthew's milestones are bittersweet. We are missing Michael terribly, but I am certain he is helping his brother (and us) every step of the way.
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Posted by Sheriff | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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ONE MONTH
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May 02, 2008 05:27am (EST)
Michael passed one month ago yesterday. My post-partum visit was also yesterday. It was hard going back and sitting in the room where I spent many anxious days with my boys in utero. They always made it through those visits and put on quite a show for their doctor and myself. They were tense but happy visits. I probably had over 30 sonograms total; I got to know both my boys more than most moms do before they made their grand entrance into the world. Sitting there was bittersweet today.
It was great to see our doctor, but sad to think that I won’t be able to introduce her to both Michael and Matthew one day. She is amazing. Though the outcome is not what we would have liked, she diagnosed me early, monitored me closely and recommended surgery, which ultimately saved them and brought them into this world. Sadly, TTTS is so brutal that it took quite a toll on our little Michael. Yesterday was a tough day and I miss him more and more as time passes. I am confident though that he is watching closely over Matthew who continues to grow and thrive.
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Posted by Sheriff | Comments: (2) | Permalink
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BIG DAY!
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Apr 30, 2008 08:13pm (EST)
Matthew broke 3 lbs! He is actually 3 lbs, 3 oz...he has almost doubled his birth weight. We are thrilled at his progress and pray he continues to thrive. He is more and more alert every day. They are adding a corn product to his feeds to beef him up even more. He is still apnea free. These milestones are truly a blessing.
Please say a special prayer for our little angel, Michael. He left us one month ago tomorrow. There is no doubt that he is sending his love to his twin and encouraging him to grow strong so he can come home to us soon.
We are hanging in there. Each day brings new challenges and realizations, but we are trying hard to remain strong for all of our boys and eachother.
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Posted by Sheriff | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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WILD MAN- DAY 51
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Apr 28, 2008 09:21pm (EST)
Yesterday marked Matthew's 50th day in the NICU. He has been pushing along and has been a wild man lately. He is exercising his lungs by crying more and working out his body by moving all around the isolette. I love to see him in action! He is still having some trouble with the apnea, but they are attributing it to him pulling off his CPap. He has been apnea free for the past 36 hours or so...let's keep our fingers crossed! He weighed in at 2 lbs, 15.5 oz last night....half an ounce shy of 3 lbs!
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Posted by Sheriff | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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CLEAN AGAIN
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Apr 25, 2008 09:01pm (EST)
Just returned from the NICU. I gave Matthew a bath tonight and he got a new house, too. He will definitely sleep well tonight.
He is doing well on the CPap. The nurses told me he is a wild man and slides all the way down to the end of his isolette. I love the fact that he is so alert and curious! I also realized tonight that he is the littlest guy in there. I always think of him as getting so much bigger when it reality he hasn't hit three pounds yet. He may be tiny, but I know he is working hard. We just need to get him breathing on his own (with the assistance of the cannula, of course)! Please keep your prayers coming!!
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Posted by Sheriff | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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LITTLE MAN
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Apr 24, 2008 10:20pm (EST)
I just returned from the NICU. Matthew was moved back to the CPap the night before last. After my visit, he "crashed" again so they are keeping him on the CPap until he is 1500 grams (3.5 lbs). We are fine with that- he needs to keep growing! They said that what he is doing is par for the course with little ones born early. He was after all less than a pound and a half, so he needs some time to get bigger and stronger. We are in no hurry. Please keep him in your prayers.
I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of support that our family continues to receive. I truly feel that our community (both near and far) has wrapped its arms around us during these hard times. You have truly made us smile through our tears and left us amazed. Between countless prayers, phone calls, dinners, cards, gifts for the twins and Charlie, gift cards for gas/food/baby supplies, etc. we have been showered with love and generosity. We would have never expected such a show of support- it truly leaves us speechless and so thankful.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'd like to create a children's garden for Michael one day. I thought of him in a garden of his own and wrote this poem the other night. When I think about him, it is difficult but I also smile because I know he is watching, and I can't help but think he has an active role in our healing. When I held him, and when I hold Matthew, there is an amazing feeling of love and peace. Even though Michael is physically absent- his love continues to engulf me. As Michael's mom, I feel it is important to keep his memory alive. I hope to put this poem in his garden one day.
Michael’s Garden
In Heaven’s garden there is a little boy
running through the rows,
of strawberries and banana trees and
all the fruits we know.
He laughs and samples another piece,
God smiles and says, “Eat plenty.
In Heaven we never run out of anything…not milk, not fruit, not honey.
You are amongst the finest garden that Earth has never seen,
You can find everything you need- it’s luscious and perfectly green.”
The little boy laughed and smiled as he started back through the rows,
To think that it would be here in Heaven that he would live and grow.
All earthly wants diminished as the boy chose the plumpest peach,
Everything that sweet Michael needed was finally in reach.
God smiled at his son and Michael smiled, too,
In Heaven’s garden there is a little boy, perfectly content…perfectly new.
-MWS
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Posted by Sheriff | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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UPDATE...
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Apr 22, 2008 09:25pm (EST)
I just got back from a good visit with Matthew. His Auntie AB came along and he loved seeing her. She is a nurse so she changed his bed- it is nice and cozy for him now. I am sure he appreciated it!
Matthew had a few apnea spells today but they just required a few pats on the "hiney" as Charlie would call it. I am so glad that he had a relatively good day today. They are watching him closely and they think the caffeine will help- he just got the increased dosage tonight. I am glad the doctors can remain so calm and collected- it is hard to do the same as a parent. I trust their judgement- they see this a lot, it is just sometimes hard to "ride it out" in the passenger seat.
They gave Matthew a bottle for the first time today. He only took 5 cc's but it's a start! They said I can give him one tomorrow if all goes well.
Please coninue to keep our little guy in your prayers. We definitely feel their power.
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Posted by Sheriff | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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SUPPORT
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Apr 22, 2008 12:14pm (EST)
Thanks for all of the support. They are trying to have him "ride it out on NC." I spoke with the doctor and was not thrilled by our conversation. Not because I don't trust their judgement, but more so because it is just scary stuff. He is increasing his caffeine dose to see if the extra stimulant will help with the apnea. He didn't seem too concerned with Matthew having to be "bagged" last night. I, of course, have a tougher time with this.
Matthew hasn't had a "major" episode since last night. The crazy thing is that his stats are quite high on this high flow cannula- he just crashes out of nowhere.
Luckily, one of my favorite nurses (she helped us a lot with Michael) was there and all it took was her saying, "Are you okay?" I, of course, lost it. I have been strong, but the thought of him in distress is very hard. She is a great advocate for us and is going to keep a close eye on the situation and talk to the doctors for us. She thought the breaks from the CPap were a great idea if he seems to be having a rough go on the cannula. Thank goodness for sympathetic and pro-active nurses!
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Posted by Sheriff | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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