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ISABELLA GIANNA

Donnavie

May 2013

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IT'S ALMOST HERE

Jun 30, 2009 03:13am (EST)

Wow!! I can't believe it's been this long since I've written a blog! My laptop is actually getting dust on it!

Bella's birthday is almost here. She'll be 3 on July 1st and so many memories of her birth are coming back to me. I really thought that as time goes by I wouldn't feel this sadness on her birthday. I know that eventually it will and that I'm so lucky to have a healthy, happy 3 year old. So many things happen that I question even to this day as to what I could've done to prevent her coming early. There is always this doubt that looms over me even though I know that there was nothing that could've stopped her from coming.

This time last year was so sad for me and my family. My dad was at the hospital at MD Anderson fighting cancer. Richard was out of town as well for work. It was just me and Bella all alone (with Sebastian in my belly

) and it was lonely. There was no party, no gifts, just a cake that we baked together and made the biggest mess. The cake actually came out good even though some of the ingredients were not the right measurements! I didn't want to have a party until my parents were back to celebrate.

Then 2 weeks later I land in the hospital for the longest (4 mth) stay ever. I feel robbed of that time I missed with her and for her birthday. I desperately want this one to be memorable not just for her but for me. I want to make up for all the time I missed with her while I was on bedrest. I want her to know how much I love her.

I want to her to be happy and have a good time. This year on her birthday we are going to Chucky Cheese. Only me & my parents along with Bella & Sebastian are going because of course Richard is out of town. She is having a birthday party in a week with 2 friends and the rest family. I can't wait to see her face at the pool party, she's gonna love it.

Here are some recent pics of Isabella, she really has grown so much.

Donnavie

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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (6) | Permalink

3 MONTH BDAY AND WEIRD THINGS.....

Feb 19, 2009 04:40am (EST)

It's been so long since I've had a chance to blog. Getting used to having an extra child is taking some adjustment but I'm loving it so much.

Many things have come and gone since the last time I blogged. Isabella caught a nasty bug and it turned into an ER visit. The ER dr's said she had Croup and put her on steriods along with her breathing treatments she was already taking. She also was taking something for her runny nose since her allergies have been acting up. Poor girl was coughing so hard we had to buy a throw up bucket. She threw up 5 times that night we took her to the ER. Every night it was horrible and Richard had to be out of town for the beginning. She is fine now but it took quite a long time for her cough to go away. Now it seems since the weather here is crazy windy and warm one day cool the next it's aggravating her asthma. If it's not one thing it's another and I feel so bad for her. She started the dry hacky cough every time she goes outside so we've been limiting her outdoor activity. She's really not into that.

Meanwhile I was so worried that Sebastian was going to get sick too. Seems like in his 3 months (today's his 3 mth bday) someone in my family has been sick. Heck when I delivered him I had a nasty cold and was taking meds for it. Bella has been sick twice and put on steroids and Richard has been sick also. Sebastian seems to be the only one who has fought off the bugs! I am so happy for that!

This is new territory for me and frankly just weird. I don't know what it's like to have a "healthy" kid. Bella is strong and for the most part her Asthma is her only issue for which I am very thankful but I do see a difference in her immune system and his. It just hurts my heart that even though I thought she was getting stronger she's still so succeptible. We definately don't want her to be around anyone who is sick, Sebastian also but seeing as it's been near impossible for him he's doing great.

Isabella at this age is still a little "fragile". A runny nose is basically a guarantee that she will have to be on round the clock nebs and steriods. There has only been one time where this wasn't true and I wish I could say there have been more times. It hurts my heart that at 3 mths Sebastian seems to have a stronger immune system than Bella does at 2.5 yrs old. I feel bad and cheated that she still has to deal with this however mild it may seem to others. At Sebastian's age she was just starting to breastfeed exclusively. Right now Sebastian is a breastfeeding champ and is so hearty (a nice word for chunky). He's what Bella was at 6 months but at 3. He smiles, coos, laughs, and even rolled over at 2 1/2 mths. I remember waiting for Bella to do these things and telling myself to expect her to be late and that she will do things in her own time. I was a basket case with Bella and it's eerily calm. I keep thinking "Man Sebastian is doing things so fast, he's so advanced." When the reality is that he's doing things on a normal pace right now and I really just wasn't expecting this.

I don't do/know normal. Obviously I don't since Bella came early in a different city and then I decided to have a long "vacation" at the hospital with Sebastian. Never in my mind did I think that I would be at this point with a full-term baby and experiencing the things that I am. It really is different and wonderful all at the same time.

So that's it for now, the kids are great! I'm so happy to see them both growing up but I wish I could freeze time sometimes. They just grow so fast!

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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (6) | Permalink

2 MTH APPT. AND SOME UPDATES

Jan 23, 2009 05:14am (EST)

Tuesday was Sebastian's 2 mth. checkup and for once I was so laid back. Having a full term baby with no issues really is something! This is not to say that I don't worry because I do but with Bella my stomach was always in knots.

Sebastian weighed in at a whopping 15lbs 4oz and is 22 1/2 inches long!!

I can't believe how much he's grown since he was born. He was laughing and talking to the dr. and cooing. Sebastian was so happy poor little guy didn't know he was going to get 3 shots.

I was talking to him and making him smile when the nurse started giving him the shot. I was expecting him to be like Bella, a trooper. She never cried when she got shots, not until she was much bigger and even then it wasn't much. As soon as she gave him the 1st shot he started crying and he didn't stop until we left the office. I picked up some tylenol at the pharmacy and gave him some while he was in the car on the way home.

Three hours later he was screaming in pain and I felt so bad. This had never happened with Isabella and I felt so helpless I wanted to cry. This wasn't supposed to happen, he was supposed to be fine. I couldn't give him any more medicine because it was too early so for 1 hr he cried inconsolably. No matter what I did, rocking, singing, nursing, nothing worked. He was red and all snotty. He was trembling and his cry was not a cry that I had heard before. I knew he was in pain and my heart just ached. Both of his shot sites were red and swollen and holding him was so tricky. I almost called the dr. because he was in so much pain.

On top of this the tylenol must've upset him stomach because all night he was spitting up. Finally at 3 am he was pain free after 3 doses of meds but he was spitting up so much my entire side of the bed was wet. We had to sleep on the couch. I don't look forward to the next set of shots he has to get but at least I know what to expect from him and I'll be more prepared.

All in all he's doing great now and sleeping sound in his bassinet while his sister sleeps next to him in our bed. She's just loving him and being a little mother herself. She's a wonderful helper and she hates for him to cry. As soon as he starts fussing she says "Mommy you need to feed him, get him!" She really is amazing and I'm so proud of her. She's talking so much and growing so fast. I wonder sometimes what happened to my little girl and when did she get so big.

Time passes by so fast and I realize this more now that I have my children. I cherish every moment I have with them both, even though sometimes it can get a little crazy. I am thankful for both my miracles and look forward to seeing what is next for my family.

Here are a few more pics of my boy and girl

.

Donnavie

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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (4) | Permalink

TIME

Jan 10, 2009 03:37pm (EST)

I don't have much time to update right now so I'm just going to post a few pics of the kids and get on later. Enjoy and I miss all my Share buddies!

Donnavie

P.S. Sebastian is almost 2 mths old!!!

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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (7) | Permalink

THANKFULL

Dec 01, 2008 12:00am (EST)

This Thanksgiving gives a whole new meaning to being thankful for me and my family. Every year I'm grateful for the family that I have. I'm grateful for my loving husband and my strong Isabella.

This year has been particularly tough on me and my family. First the diagnosis of my dad's Cancer, then my second miscarriage, my "troublesome" pregnancy which had me spend 14 weeks at the hospital and away from Isabella, and lastly my grandma's heart issues. Each of these issues has left some mark on my heart.

Thankfully I still have my dad and will for many more years as he continues to successfully battle Cancer. I may have had another miscarriage but I now have my Sebastian. He is healthy and full term, a dream that I thought would not be a reality. Lastly, my grandma is making a very good recovery and things look really good for her.

Although things have been so tough emotionally I am still standing strong. I count my blessings and I know that things could be different. I have my family and I'm very lucky for that.

Here are the latest pics of Sebastian and Bella.

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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (9) | Permalink

WELCOME TO THE WORLD...

Nov 25, 2008 09:35pm (EST)

Sebastian Robert was born November 18, 2008 at 10:56 am. He weighed 7lbs. 7oz. and was 21 inches long.

We are both doing great and are now adjusting to home life. He truly is wonderful. I can't tell everyone how happy I was to have a take home baby. I went in for induction at 4:30 am and I had the best nurse (of course I knew her because of my hospital stay

) Everything went so smoothly it was almost like a dream.

Here are some pictures of Sebastian and my big belly. Thank you everyone for the support and encouragement. I couldn't have done this without my Share friends.

Donnavie

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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (13) | Permalink

IT'S ALMOST TIME

Nov 14, 2008 02:45am (EST)

Today I'm 37 wks and 4 days pregnant!!!!!!!!!!! It has been one wild ride. This is my first week being off bedrest and it feels great! After 17 weeks of bedrest I'm finally at home and able to do things that "normal" pregnant women do. It's just so surreal that Sebastian is still in my belly and thriving. I remember going into the hospital at 20 wks and thinking I'll be happy if he just gets to 24 wks now here I am at 37 wks.

So I'm here waiting for my precious boy to come and I'm spending time with Bella as much as possible. My ob is planning on inducing me this Tuesday Nov. 18th. Can you believe that, induction for someone like me!?!? I'll be officially 38 wks 2 days pregnant and the reason for induction is because of my Platapoid Pelvis. Apparently my pelvis is shaped like a platupus and Sebastian is getting big so my chances for a vaginal birth decline with each week/day that I stay pregnant. I've never heard this before but that is her main concern for me and she knows I really want to have a vaginal birth. She said she is confident that Sebastian's lungs will be developed and that if she didn't think I'd be able to deliver vaginally then she'd not do induction at all. She usually does induction later and I'm confident in her and her medical advice.

Unless I deliver before then Tuesday Sebsastian will be here. I'm so excited I can barely contain myself. I'm frantically trying to get everything ready for him and for Bella. I will miss being a family of 3 but I will be overjoyed to have Sebastian finally here with us. I will post pics of my belly so everyone can see how big I am.

Thank you everyone, especially Jenn who has talked to me everyday throughout my pregnancy scares and hospital bedrest. Thanks to all my Share friends for the support and encouragement when I needed it most.

Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (11) | Permalink

OH BABY! I'M 34 WEEKS!!

Oct 19, 2008 09:39pm (EST)

This weekend Richard and my mom decided to hold a baby shower here in my hospital room. I turned 34 weeks today and my next BIG GOAL is 36 wks. I hope I make it.

It was such a wonderful shower. There were only about 8-9 people but it was just perfect. The best part was that I am still pregnant, unlike last time I had Bella already. Richard really went all out. He really is such a great husband! He lined my counters in blue and bought me a blue "mommy" corsage to wear. He even bought a baby boy flower arrangement for my room. He painted my toenails so I wouldn't have to wear socks with my new dress. My mom bought me a dress to wear just for the shower and I loved it. It was the first time I got to wear "real" clothes instead of nightgown. She also got me some pretty new slippers since I'm now able to walk to the bathroom and take a 5 min. shower.

We played only 2 games: guess the size of my belly (they saw it when I got up to go to the bathroom) and guess my weight. It was funny

and I had a blast because I've never been this big or pregnant before. I'm proud of my big belly

. My sister decorated my room with baby stuff on the walls and the armoire. She even put a baby shower sign outside my door. One of my nurses came by and gave me a gift for Sebastian too. My dr. wrote in my chart that I was allowed to sit up during the shower so people didn't have to see me just laying down.

The food was great and the desserts even better. I got lots of cute baby clothes for Sebastian. I can't wait to see him in them! I had a wonderful day and I got to visit and talk with everybody. By then end I had to lay down because I was soooooo tired and my body is just not used to all that "action".

Now the plan is I'm going to have another u/s either Monday or Tuesday and the peri is going to do it. He's going to measure my cervix and fluid and consult with my ob. If everything looks ok and I have some length in my cervix I can go home. If not or if I'm dialated 3-4 I have to stay. I'm hoping everything looks good, I miss Bella so much and my emotions are getting crazy. I really want to be home before Halloween so I can see Bella in her costume and spend some time with her before Sebastian comes.

Let's hope for 2 more weeks of pregnancy and getting to go home.

Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (2) | Permalink

PRIVLEDGES

Oct 06, 2008 11:41pm (EST)

This week marks a momentous 32 weeks being pregnant!! I am amazed and ecstatic!

This week also marks a milestone for me: Getting Privledges. I don't get very much but for me it's a *BIG* change. Sunday my ob wrote orders for a bedside comode and for me to start "sitting" up while I ate. I say "sitting" because it's more of an incline instead of completely lying down but I'll take it. I also got taken out of trendelenberg so no more upside down days

.

Like I said, this might not seem much but since I've been COMPLETELY bedridden for 12 weeks I was feeling a little overwhelmed. Saturday night I had to take an ambien just to sleep because I was so nervous. Then I woke up at 6am anxious and scared. Since I was up so early my night nurse decided to take me out of trendelenberg just slightly and when the day nurse got there she laid me flat but that was hours in between so my body got to adjust to the gradual change. As son as I was awake the nurse took my bedpan away and got out the bedside comode. Never did I think that I was going to want that bedpan back

.

I started to sit up slowly but I got very dizzy and had to lay down again. It took me at least 15 mins just to get standing. My legs were/are sooooooo weak

. My nurse said I looked like Bambi trying to walk

and that my legs look like sticks. I already knew that, Richard told me the same thing weeks ago

. I literally feel like I weigh 1000 lbs and my feet hurt and felt like lead. I was expecting my feet to hurt more and for it to be harder. Don't get me wrong it was VERY hard, it's just that I made myself scared but deep down I knew I am strong enough to handle this.

Today I'm so sore from my hips down and I feel like I've done 10 triathalons in 2 days. Despite all this I am happy and feel so good to be able to do things even if it's really not much. I do still feel scared, like all this is going to disrupt things and cause me to go into labor but lets hope that doesn't happen. I had Richard take pics of me when I got up to "walk" (more like shuffle 3 ft) to my bedside comode. I also took a couple of pics with Bella and me lying in bed.

Thanks for all the encouragement and here's to hoping I make it at least 2 more weeks!!

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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (11) | Permalink

SCARED

Sep 23, 2008 03:50am (EST)

I'm 30 weeks and still pregnant!! I've offically never been pregnant this long.

While this is such a great goal to reach I'm suddenly feeling scared and apprehensive. My dr. said our new goal is 32 weeks. Once I reach 32 she is going to take me out of trendelenberg and sit me up. I will get to eat sitting up, something I haven't done since before July 17th. I may also get bathroom privledges which is exciting. They will try and stop labor if I it starts but they are comfortable with letting me have Sebastian at that time.

I am no where near ready to have this baby. I would love to make it as far as possible. If that means being on bedrest and not getting up for the bathroom I'm willing to do it. I'm even willing to go on Mag

if that will buy me a few days or even a week. I want Sebastian to be in the NICU for the shortest stay possible. I would love to be able to bring him home but I think I may be over reaching just a bit

.

I'm having anxiety about sitting up. I don't want to go into labor and I'm so scared that if he comes this early something will still be wrong with him. I've heard that boys don't do as well as girls so I'm worried even though Bella was 29 weeks and I'm further along now. I guess I keep remembering all those days in the NICU with her and I'm so fearful that I will still spend so much time there.

I'm afraid of going home which is such an oxymoron because I've longed to be home with Bella for so long. What if I've forgotten how to be a mommy? What if I don't even know how to take care of my own child? I might not even be able to walk that great and what if Bella wants me to play and run like we used to? How will I explain to her that she has to wait some more for me to get better?? How am I going to deal with all this and worry about Sebastian being in the hospital, or even when he comes home? What will life be like??

All these unanswered questions are bombarding my mind and terrifying me. I feel like such a bad mommy already. Not to mention that we still need so much stuff for Sebastian and I feel like time is running out. I'm totally stressed when I should be happy that I've been here so long and the baby is doing well. I should be happy that Bella has adjusted so well and can function without me (her security blanket). She's so close to my parents and Richard, What if she doesn't want me?

Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (6) | Permalink

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