Previous Premature Birth

I am new to the sight and find it very helpful to hear everyone's stories and how strong many of you are.

My first (and only) pregnancy I went into Preterm labor at 31 weeks without any signs of labor. I went in for a routine check up and was immediately sent to the hospital 4-5 cm dilated and fully effaced. They were able to use meds to stop labor and I was on strict bed rest for 2 weeks until my water broke and my son was born at 33 weeks. He spent 2 weeks in the NICU and is doing great.

I would like to get pregnant again, but I am scared to death. I had a consult with a perinatologist who suspects I have an incompetent cervix (however we will not know until it happens again) and recommends a cerclage, however my OBGYN said she would just do the progesterone shots. How do I decide what is the correct decision.

Thanks for any stories or suggestions.

Amy

Hi Amy,
Your story sounds similar to mine. I went into PTL at 25 weeks (but they couldn't stop mine). When I arrived at the hospital I was both dilated and contracting so they could never determine which came first.... either PTL which caused me to dilate, or dilating which caused me to start contracting.

My OB decided that next time around we would "throw the kitchen sink" at it. I had a cerclage and 17P shots to try to ward off both of my potential issues. I'll admit I was paranoid through the whole pregnancy but it was successful. I carried my son to 38.5 weeks and he was born big and healthy.

They do believe that because I had my cerclage removed at 35.5 weeks and still remained pregnant until 38.5 weeks, that IC was not likely my problem. In true IC cases, it's unlikely that you could carry a full term baby more than a day or 2 without the cerclage. But I also remember at 28 weeks my cervix was funnelling and my OB said "well, that's what the cerclage is for"!

If I were to get pregnant again (and I have no plans to ) I would do both the cerclage and the 17P shots again. The safest time to do a cerclage is 12-14 weeks... typically you aren't having IC issues at that time and it wouldn't show itself until later in the pregnancy when it might be too late to do anything. But there is a risk of infection so you should be aware of that - however, the risk gets higher the longer you wait.

You really have to follow your heart and do what it says it right. For me it was doing anything I could to prevent having another preemie. But I do know of people who had complications from a cerclage (infection or rupturing the membranes) but I think they are the exception rather than the rule.

Good Luck with your decision. Whatever it may be, know that we will be here to support you!

Hugs,
Jackie

Thank you so much for your advice. That is so wonderful to hear that you made it to 38 weeks. Did you have to go on bed rest with your second pregnancy or have any other restrictions?

Thanks again,
Amy

I was on pelvic rest (ie: no sex) the whole time and only on bedrest from weeks 35.5 until 38 weeks. Basically the reason I wound up on bedrest is because I was having a lot of sharp pains by my cervix and I was afraid something was happening with my cerclage. Turns out it was just my son's head pusing down because I still had the pain even after the cerclage was removed.

Other than that, I was told not to "overdo it". I asked what the meant specifically and my OB said "it means to not clean your entire house in one day - maybe half the rooms on Monday and the rest on Wednesday". So nothing severe,at least.

-Jackie

When I spoke to the perinatologist, he told me that I would have lifting restrictions of 20 pounds.

I am a physical therapist, which requires some moderate to heavy lifting at times. Were you able to work? Did they limit you to only lifting your daughter?

Thanks again for all your help!

Amy

I did not have any lifting restrictions set by my OB but I know many people who did. I did my best to only pick up things I really needed to and tried to get my daughter to be a bit more independent so she could climb into the carseats and chair herself.

I did not work at the time, so the only main concern they had with me was taking care of my daughter and my house!

Is there a way you can modify some of your work to fit into the restrictions your peri set?

-Jackie

I am 20 yrs. old, my husband and I had been trying to have a baby for a year and half...then we became pregnant with clomid. Everything looked great, the baby was growing and we were both healthy. Never had any bleeding or cramps.Even got to find out we were expecting a baby BOY...we were really excited! Then at 5 1/2 months...I had started to feel like i had a stomach bug...just upset stomach, and had to go to the restroom, slight backache(have good tolerance to pain)...on a friday night, but then it went away after a couple of hours. I fell asleep, saturday nothing, sunday nothing, sunday night,...the same thing came back again...same symptoms...so I thought i would go in to the hospital, better be safe than sorry. When I got there they checked me and apparently I was 4 to 5 cm dialated. The pain started to become little by little more and more pain. They tried to stop the contractions with all the meds they had, they even gave me a steroid shot. After 4 hours I was already 10cm and in major pain, i gave birth to my 22week old son. He, the water bag still intact, and the placenta all came off together at once...I delivered everything...then the babys bag was broken once he was out.

I thought that I just had a stomach bug becuz my husband had that like 4 to 5 days before this happened. The only thing i had when I was pregnant was always a low backache, heavy normal discharge, heavy feeling of hips, the baby was always really low, sometimes felt like the baby would come out. The doctor said it could have been a placental abruption, incompetent cervix, or an infection that they couldnt detect. They checked for infection but nothing. My high blood pressure was normal, just a slight fever(nothing to worry), no bleeding. He said that he thought that it was more than likely a placental abruption...since the placenta came off, but i never had any symptoms of placental abruption, and when he checked the placental, it was normal...there were no traces that an abruption occured. As for an incompetent cervix, he told me there could be a little chance, but that he dosent think so cuz typically women with that dont contract or feel contractions and when they come to the hospital they are already 10cm. So what do you think it could possibly be....a PLACENTAL ABRUPTION(even though i had no symptoms,no bleeding and placental analysis came back normal)? An INCOMPETENT CERVIX? An INFECTION? Or just a FLUKE?

Hi and Welcome to Share. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I can't say that I know what happened in your case but it doesn't sound all that different from mine.

I was 25 weeks along and had just finished up lunch when I felt kind of sick to my stomach. I thought I had probably eaten something with bad mayo on it or something. I then started having some back aches but didn't think much of it either because I was in car going on a trip and thought I was just uncomfortable. When we got to our destination, I still didn't feel great but wrote it off as normal pregnancy stuff with possible food poisoning - until I went to the bathroom and there was blood. I rushed to the hospital and I was found to be 3 cms with contractions every 5 minutes. I was given Mag-sulfate and steriod shots for my daughter's lungs but nothing worked. My daughter was born 8 hours later. By the grace of God she survived.
When I finally had my follow-up with my regular OB he said it sounded like incompetent cervix or that I went into PreTerm Labor (PTL). He said that IC could cause me to have contractions when I started dilating or if I had contractions first, that could cause me to dilate. So it's kind of like the whole "which came first the chicken or the egg" thing.

Since we didn't know, we decided to do everything we could in my 2nd pregnancy to make sure it didn't happen again. I was given a cerclage to help with the IC and 17P shots to ward off PTL. The good news is that I carried my son to 38.5 weeks and brought home a healthy baby boy.

I guess the moral of my story is not to write off IC that easily, just because you were having contractions. If your body dilates enough it will put you in labor and you will have contractions.

I still don't know why my daughter was early but I lean towards PTL at this point because I had my cerclage removed at 35.5 weeks and still carried my son for 3 more weeks. A woman with true IC would have delivered him within 24-48 hours after the cerclage removal. So ask about the possibility of PTL as well... you had back aches, which were most likely contractions, so if those happened first that could be your issue.

Good Luck and know that there can be happy endings after a story like yours.
-Jackie

first of all, i would like to thank the people who wrote to me and answered my questions and send their condolences, i greatly appreciate it..... told my doctor that some peoples stories in the internet end up having contractions and they knew they had an incompetent cervix, but according to him that most of his patients come in fully dialated without no contractions, and he knows they have an incompetent cervix. Your story has a lot of similarities to mine, the only thing that really keeps the doctor confused is that the placenta came off....the baby inside the bag of water still intact and the placenta all came out at the same time when i gave birth. Yet, i didnt have any symptoms of placental abruption, never bleed, and typically women who dont bleed still end up having huge blood clots pop and they start bleeing profusely and i never did...and when he checked the placenta...it looked normal....no traces of placental abruption,the only reason he calls it that is that my placenta came off prematurely with the baby,and it should have come off after the baby....
 So it could have just been a fluke about the placenta, and maybe i do have an incompetent cervix. That is what throws me off guard too....the placenta,cuz if the placenta would have not done that, i have a big feeling the doc would have said i have IC, but becuz the placenta did that,it throws him off too...He hopes it is not both...cuz that can be an even greater risk.
 Next time he said he will try to do everything for it not to happen again. He is even going to do the preventative cerclage, even though it could or could not be that... I asked him about the 17p shots, and he dosent want to use that, he says it dont work, but i would like to try it cuz its worth a try.... I would also be sent to a perinatologist while im pregnant to see me better, and that my doc is willing to see me as much as i want...
 I want to go to a perinatologist to ask for another consultation about my issue,before i end up getting pregnant, but my insurance dosent cover for that, it will cover once i am pregnant....so dont know wether to go with my own money, or just take a chance and get pregnant since my doc is going to try to do everything he can so that it wont happen again. dont know what to do in this aspect.....what do you think?And can you explain more to me about PTL? Sorry for such a long story....lol.... really deprived of talkin, and its hard to talk to people who dont understand or have not gone thru a loss....thanks

Hi Nelly,
Well, I know all doctors have a differing opinion but I know many who support the 17P shots. Both my OB and my peri suggested them and I do think they helped me out. In fact, my peri was part of the clinical trials many years ago and said he saw big differences in women who received the 17P shot vs the placebo. The side effects are minimal and I wanted the extra protection against PTL. PTL is basically when your body is triggered to go into labor before you are at term. There can be various causes to it including infection but I think you said they did not find infection in your case.

Here is a link to the MOD's information on PTL:
 March of Dimes Preterm Labor Definition

As far as whether or not to see a peri beforehand, I asked the same question and was told that most peris will not see you unless you are pregnant. So it might not even be an option to do a consult ahead of time. You could always find out who your OB would plan to refer you to and then call and ask them if they would do a prepregnancy consult. In my opinion (which you can take or leave), if you believe that you will get pregnant even after meeting with the peri, then you might as well wait. In my case, I was about 80% positive I would try to have a 2nd child regardless of what the peri said (unless I thought they were going to say there was little likelihood of me carrying to viability or if it would be life threatening to me). So meeting with one ahead of time might have set my plan in place earlier but would not have changed my mind about another pregnancy.

Keep me posted on what you decide to do!
Jackie

Nelly-
I am sorry for your loss and I am sure you are scared for the next pregnancy. I went into labor without symptoms at 31 weeks and was 4-5 cm dilated and fully effaced with contractions every 2-4 min. I did have some low back pain throughout my pregnancy, but other than I did not feel contractions until my water broke. They were able to stop my labor with mag. sulfate for 2 weeks (on hospital bed rest) when my water broke.
I am thankful to have made it to 33 weeks however very hesitant for our next pregnancy.
I did go to the perinatologist for a pre-pregnancy consult. He spent 45 minutes with me going over what happened as well as what to expect next pregnancy. He can't confirm IC until next pregnancy however we did come up with a plan for me. I felt much better after talking to him. It did not change my plans for pregnancy but helped to prepare me. I would call your perinatologist and see if they can offer you a special rate since your insurance won't pay. Often times they are willing to see you at a lower rate.
Good luck!
Amy

have always looked over the message boards but was not ready to write. everyone seems so warm and open and helpful.

had a normal pregnancy with my son until i hit 26.5 weeks. i didnt feel well. i went to the hospital and turns out i was in preterm labor -- they tried to stop the contractions, couldnt, and i had to deliver my son. as everyone knows it is of course highly traumatic but we have overcome so much and as he is turning 2 shortly - we have been thinking about adding to our family.

how do you become brave enough to do it? i have a high risk ob now who will watch me more carefully and i know i am in good hands but i am so petrified at the chance of this happening again. you are all so strong - i hope i am too. i want more than anything to give my wonderful son a sibling, and to give my husband & i a new addition but the fear and panic is just so real.

so - really any advice how you got through this would be so appreciated.

Hi Julie! Welcome to Share! I lurked for a while before I posted for the first time too and now I am a Share addict.

I have been in your shoes and it is so hard to figure out if you can handle a second pregnancy after such a scary first one. I think we finally got *mostly* past the trauma of my daughters birth at 25 weeks and decided that we wanted another baby. I had talked to my OB and had a game plan in place (cerclage at 13 weeks, 17P shots at 16, and fetal fibronectin testing from 24 to 26 weeks). I also knew that my family would be there to help should I wind up on bedrest and need help taking care of my daughter. Then we bit the bullet and got pregnant.

I can't say that I was elated when that second line showed up on the pregnancy test. I was flat out terrified! There was no turning back at that point and it could be a happy ending but there was a possiblity that it wouldn't be too. My OB had me consult a peri who gave me the same plan my OB did. They never made me feel bad for being anxious and scared and they really helped me through the whole pregnancy. I knew they were watching me closely and that helped a great deal.

That being said, the thing that gave me the most sanity.... Share. There is another discussion on here for women who are "pregnant ? on bedrest?.." and it gave me so much peace to find other women in my position. They talked me down from the ledge, so to speak, a number of times and I don't know that I would have gotten through it without their comforting words.

I wound up being induced at 38.5 weeks and had a healthy baby boy. I hope that your story turns out just as well.

Hugs,
Jackie

Hello Julie and welcome to Share. Like you and Jackie, I lurked for a long time before finally posting. However, once I started I couldn't stop .

I gave birth to a 23weeker in 2005 and was just too scared to try again, so I cant offer any words there. I just wanted to pop in and welcome you to the board.

Take good care,
Yolonda

Julie, Our first was a preemie and was very healthy. But, that didn't mean there wasn't a fear that it would happen again. I did meet with a new OB that handled higher risk pregnancies and we decided to watch me carefully, but not plan for anything like Jackie's doctor did. Part of the reason was my preemie was a 32weeker and the other part was there were no answers as to why I had gone into labor early. I felt comfortable with this, but around 12 weeks into my second pregnancy I had some spotting and achiness...I *knew* in my heart something was wrong. By 14 weeks it was getting worse and my OB ordered an u/s that showed I was funneling...long story short - Because I listened to my body and my doctor listened to me I have a healthy 3 year old boy that was born full-term. I did have a cerclage placed at 14 weeks when we found the funneling and I did spend 6 months on the couch, but it worked! My 3rd pregnancy was a bit scarier after knowing I had IC. It was also a surprise, so I didn't make the decision to try again. I was pretty petrified at first, but my OB's office saw me at 6 weeks instead of 8, I had a preventative cerclage placed at 13 weeks and we made it full term - I did have some bumps along the way, but with the help of my doctor things went very well and I never went on bedrest!

I wish you the best of luck in your decision. I know it can be tough. And, as Jackie mentioned the Pregnant? on bedrest? thread is a wonderful place to meet others that have similiar situations during your pregnancy...it has gotten me through 2 pregnancies and I'm back there again!

Good luck to you and your family. Congratulations on your son.

Kristyn

thanks everyone. it certainly makes me feel better that you know exactly how i am feeling. i am excited, petrified, anxious, and feeling guilty all at the same time and not sure what to do with all of these feelings. my sons birth and hospitalization was the most traumatic thing i have ever been through - and i know we got so lucky (looking back). i hope i can do it...

If anyone had any advice to me as what to ask my doctor about preventing this one from being premature please let me know. I had my daughter at 23 wks and she is now 4 months old and doing good so far. I am so scared to have this early as well. Theres is nothing that describes the pain and heartbreak you go through dealing with the NICU. They also did not now the exact reason why my daughter was born that early only that my membranes had ruptured. Please if anyone has any advice please write me.

Hi Kailee's Mom, welcome to Share!

From what I have heard PROM is not like other things that can be predicted to repeat (IC, pre-E, etc). I would ask your dr about consulting with a perinatologist (high-risk OB) if you would feel more comfortable. They are used to dealing with complex pregnancies and might be able to answer some of the questions you are concerned about - and give you a second opinion. I consulted with a peri in my 2nd pregnancy but he gave me the same plan as my OB so I stuck with my OB as I was comfortable with him. Do what feels right for you.

Good Luck!
Jackie

Hi Kailee's Mom.
Congratulations are in order for your little one on the way and your 4 month old!

As Jackie said I would definitely check with a Peri to see what he/her plan of action would be. Since they don't know what happened it might be a matter of watching you closely or looking at preventative measure...like a cerclage or 17P injections.

Wishing you all of the best!
Kristyn

My son was born at 33 weeks due to PROM also. He spent 7 weeks in the NICU so I know you are nervous. Wow 23 weeks, she truly is a miracle! At my last OB appointment I told him I wanted to TTC again but I wanted to know the odds of this happening again. He said there is a 10% chance since I had a pre-term baby. He said he would give me 17p shots and do a preventative cerclage at around 14wks. I plan on getting a second opinion from a perinatologist when I am pregnant. I wish you all of the best and I hope this helped.

Sherrey

Yea you have given me some great advice and i appreciate it. All i need now is to get medicaid and get to my ob and i believe he will probably refern to a peri. I am just so scared for the miscarriage factor as well. But i am keeping my hopes up and going to get this medicaid thing straight so i can get it there and see whats going to happen thank you so much.

I am glad ur son is doing good. Yes she is a miracle and she is so tiny. Yea when i went for my last check up and was talking about getting pregnant again he had mentioned some sort of shots as well as a cerclage. So i believe the 17P shots is what he was talking about. Because everyone i talk to on here as said the same thing about the shots and the 17P shots. As far as a peri i believe he will refer to one of those as well because of me being high risk. Thank you so much and it did help.

HELLO
MY NAME IS ERICKA........ ON 12/15/09 I LOST MY SON DUE TO IMCOMPETENT CERVIX...... MY SON DIDNT LIVE LONG.... I HELD HIM IN MY HANDS AS HE WAS SLOWLY DYING.... I WAS 22.5 WEEKS...
LET TELL YOU MY STORY..... I HAD A HARD TIME GETTING PREGNANT I HAD ECTOPIC PREG.....THEN 3 YEARS AFTER THAT I HAD A BLIGHTED OVUM.... THEN 3 YEARS WENT BY AND JUST COULD'T SEEM TO GET PREGNANT... SO I WENT TO FERTILITY DOCTOR THEY SAID AFTER HAVING ECTOPIC PREGNANCY MY TUBES WILL NEVER WORK THE SAME.... SO I WOULD HAVE A HARD TIME GETTING PREGNANT...SO THATS WHEN THEY HELPED ME.... I HAD MY FIRST CHILD THROUGH VITRO WITH ONE SHOT I HAD MY DAUGHTER I HAD 5 EGGS AND ONLY ONE SURVIVED..... SHE IS MY MIRACLE CHILD..... I KNEW THAT WITHOUT VITRO I COULD NOT HAVE ANY MORE KIDS.... BUT I WANTED TO HAVE ONE MORE SO WE WERE GOING TO WAIT A YEAR OR SO AND TRY AGAIN.... I DIDNT GET ON BIRTHCONTROL BECAUSE I DIDNT THINK I WAS GOING TO GET PREGNANT ON MY OWN...WELL 6 MONTHS LATER I GOT PREGNANT..... WE COULD NOT BELIEVE IT... THEY I WENT FOR MY FOLLOW UP CHECK UPS AND THEY SAID I WAS GREAT HEART BEAT WAS GREAT....AND LATER ON THEY FOUND OUT I WAS HAVING A BOY.... AND MY DUE DATE WAS ON MY BIRTHDAY..... IT JUST COULDNT GET BETTER THAN THAT.....WE WERE SO HAPPY...UNTIL 20 WEEKS THEY FOUND OUT I HAD SHORT CERVIX......TOLD ME I MIGHT NEED CERCLAGE BUT THEY WILL MONITOR ME CLOSE AND I WOULD HAVE TO BE ON BEDREST.... WE JUST KNEW THAT WE WERE GOING TO HAVE OUR SON...BUT 20.5 WEEKS CAME AND I WENT TO LABOR....WE WERE DEVASTED...AND THEY TOLD ME THEY COULDNT SAVE BABY BECAUSE HE WAS TO PREMMIE...AND IT WAS TO LATE FOR CERCLAGE........ THIS WAS SO HARD....MY CHILD DIED IN MY ARMS.....HE WAS SO HANDSOME.....I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO RAISING HIM..WITH HIS SIS........ WE LUV HIM AND THINK ABOUT HIM EVERYDAY.....WISH HE WAS STILL IN MY STOMACHE.........

WE WILL TRY AGAIN....... AND DO ALOT OF RESEARCH ON CERCLAGE........I WANT TO GET THE RIGHT ONE....

IF ANYONE KNOWS A GOOD DOCTOR IN NEWYORK THAT DOES ABDOMINAL CERCLAGE........PLEASE TELL ME

IF ANYONE HAS ANY CERCLAGE STORIES.......PLEASE TELL ME I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR TO GET INSPIRATION........THANK YOU SO MUCH

Hi Ericka, Welcome to Share.

I am so sorry about the loss of your son. It's just not fair for a parent to have to say goodbye to their child. I had my daughter at 25 weeks 6 years ago and thankfully she survived and is a healthy little girl, but I know the feeling of wanting them back in your stomach. I remember waking up every day for weeks and grabbing my stomach, hoping it was all a bad dream.

Regarding cerclages, I had a cervical cerclage in my 2nd pregnancy and it worked well. I carried my son until 38.5 weeks. My understanding is that most drs won't do an abdominal cerclage unless you have had a failed cervical cerclage. The abdominal cerclages are much more invasive and are placed prior to pregnancy and remain there permentantly - unlike a cervical one that is removed when you go into labor. There are a couple kinds of cervical stitches but I honestly don't know that one is better than the other. And cerclages generally tend to be successful, so chances are that a cervical one would work fine for you, but obviously you would have to talk to your dr to discuss it. They are most effective when placed between 12 and 14 weeks into the pregnancy because it lowers the chance of infection.

I wish you the best of luck in getting pregnant again and carrying it full term. Big hugs!
-Jackie

I am very sorry for the loss of your precious boy. I hope that getting pregnant is easy for you when the time is right.

As Jackie stated abdominal cerclages are typically not done unless cervical cerclages have not worked. I have had 3 cervical cerclages. I have two full term babies and one on the way. There may be bedrest with it and extra appointments or you might get a cerclage and have it very easy. As Jackie stated most cerclages are placed between 12 and 14 weeks (after the first trimester). I recommend talking with your regular OB and possibly seeing a Perinatologist as well. Some OB's handle everything and some work along side high risk doctors.

Wishing you the best.
Kristyn

Hi,
 My name is Luanna,living in UK and I'm new to the site.It's fantastic to be able to share stories with other people in similar life situations.
 My daughter was born at 25 weeks+3days and I've been through the most difficult time of my life.Fortunately,she is a healthy little girl now,at the age of 3 and half.Prematurity is any mother's nightmare.I'll tell you my story.
 I've been always a fit,healthy woman.I use to have a socializing smoke or drink,but nothing heavy;always watched my weight and eat healthily.When I found out I was pregnant I quit smoking and I stopped everything that would be nocive for the pregnancy.I use to work in a care home for elderly,but my OB and GP didn't interdict physical activity.On contrary,they told me keeping active is a good thing.
 My placenta was a bit low at the beggining,but with the 20 weeks scan,everything showed normal.I was very happy and confident.Prematurity never crossed my mind,as I've always been a strong woman.
 Everything started a short while, after my 20 weeks scan.The pain was so atypical,very sharp,imitating hemorrhoids pain.I applied some cream in the area and went back to bed.The next day,I went to work feeling ok,but the pain started again in front,so I had to leave straight to the hospital.I spent three days in hospital,with unbelievable "hemorrhoids pain".The doctor checked me,but I've been told that my hemorrhoids were not very bad at all,so I lived on paracetamol and caffeine tablets.Everyone thought I am one of those fussy pregnant women.I haven't been given another scan or any detailed check and I was sent home,even my pain in the dorsal region was pretty severe.After 2 hours home,I started bleeding and having proper abdominal contractions.Going back to the hospital,I've been seen by my OB assistant,I had the steroid injection and I was transferred in emergency,by ambulance,in a different hospital of a bigger city.After another 2 days I gave birth to my little girl who is so amazing.My waters didn't break,I was just fully dilated and I had an important loss of blood during birth.Nobody could give me a certain reason for my prematurity labour.
 After birth,I hardly tried to contact the OB from my town,hoping to get an explanation for what had happened.I've been simply refused to get an appointment,being told to get the information from the hospital where I gave birth.The lack of information and no interest from the medical provider was even more nerve wracking than the premature birth itself.
 I hardly try to put everything behind,especially now,that my husband and I are thinking of having another baby.I am really scared and no confident in the medical provider,whether or not,he will make all the efforts to prevent another premature birth.
 I have recently seen the medical practitioner and asked about medicines to prevent a premature birth,but I've been told they do not exist.Maybe in USA the things are a bit more advanced,because here in UK,my GP didn't hear about the progesterone shots.
 I'd be glad to hear from some other women trying for another baby after having the experience of a premature birth.
 All the best to you all!xxx

Wow, I am happy to hear your little girl is now a happy and healthy 3 year old! I'm also saddened to hear that you were blown off by medical professionals as a cranky pregnant women. I had that experience myself and it is very irritating.

I would definitely look for another doctor and maybe consider seeing a high risk doctor at least once. Sounds like your first doctor wasn't too involved anyway and I'm sure there is one near you that will care and do all he/she can to help you along with better bedside manner!

Good luck,
Kristyn

Hello and welcome to Share. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I wish you a uneventful 40 weeks during your next pregnancy.

Take good care,
Yolonda

I'm in a similar boat. My son was born early at 30 wks after an emergency c-section from pre-eclampsia. When they took my son, I remember he was purple and the dr said my placenta ruptured seconds later. If they hadnt had taken him at that moment we could have both been in grave peril. It took 4 minutes to get Conner oxygen and he continued on a breathing tube for his 2 month nicu stay. He's 3 now and part of me has the baby itch so bad, but Conner's road hasnt been easy. Testings and drs appts galore. He's been in Early Intervention Therapy since he was 6 months old when we first started noticed a problem. Since then he has been diagnosed with Mild Cerebral Palsy, reflux, severe Sensory Processing Disorder and failure to thrive. He's a perfectly wonderful kid but he has a lot of developmental problems and texture/sensory issues. In the coming months they will be testing him for Autism.
I'm terrified of becoming pregnant. I can't imagine putting another child through everything he has been through but I know the chances of having another pre-eclampsia pregnancy are slim. I'm still a little overweight and I keep promising myself that if I lose it I can get pregnant but a part of me thinks I keep it because I'm afraid my body is imcompetent at carrying a child.
I know that Conner's issues arent severe, but I really feel like its for that reason it hurts the most... because every day is a struggle because he "appears normal"... when in reality we cant even take a civilized trip to the grocery store without incountering a melt down.
I'm sorry to vent, but I've tried holding it in for so long... no one else really seems to get it and I hope I can find comfort with people who are going through similar emotions.

Conner's Mommy - I think any of us with a preemie or a child with disabilities has gone through what you are going through. And although the decision has to come from you, we will be here to help you along every step of the way.

My daughter was born at 25 weeks due to either IC or PTL and when she was 1 we started talking about whether or not we should have another child. I was terrified to have another 25 weeker, or worse, if the next was born even earlier. My husband and I talked.... ALOT. Probably way more than he wanted to. We finally decided we would go for it. We had a plan from my OB so we at least felt comfortable that we would be watched closely.

But when I did get pregnant and saw that 2nd line show up on the preg test, I panicked. At that point there was no turning back and I had to live with whatever happened. I was not expecting to feel that way, because I had thought I prepared myself.

And luckily my pregnancy went well with few complications. My son was born at 38.5 weeks and I am so happy we decided to go for it. I can't imagine my life without him. As one Share mom put it "My love for my child is greater than my fear". I thought that was pretty appropriate.

What I have also found, from talking with friends, is that you know when you are done having kids. I knew as soon as my son was born, that I was done. I don't want any more. But before that I always felt a little empty ,like something was missing. I have a friend who has 2 kids the same age as my children and she always talked about how she wanted more. She has since gone on to have a 3rd and says she knows now, without a doubt, that she is done.

So I really think you need to follow your heart. Get all the info you can from your dr and if he/she is supportive I say go for it.

Good Luck,
Jackie