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TALES FROM THE SCHWEITZER SIDE

Donna S

May 2008

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"HE CAN DO IT HIS SELF!!"

May 15, 2008 04:07pm (EST)

I don't know who was more excited yesterday, Grace or Ethan. Both of them were grinning from ear to ear, and of course, we all had to come running to check out just what Ethan had learned to do "his self".

For the past seven years, one of my mom jobs has been swing-pusher. We have a swingset/jungle gym in the backyard, which has been put to good use and was truly worth every single penny. With the beautiful weather we've been having this week (after the rain and fog last week), the kids have been (blessedly) spending a lot of time outside. Poor Ethan usually bears the brunt on the swings...I work from home and the afternoon hours are my normal work time. So, unless one of the other kids has mercy, Ethan doesn't do much but sit there on the swing, or get on his tummy and swing that way. I don't know why this was so hard for him to learn. Honestly, I can't remember how old Ryley and Grace were when they learned to swing by themselves, but it's something we've been working on for almost a year with E. Yesterday, he finally got it. You should have seen the look on his face...it was one of pure joy. He no longer has to wait for someone to push him. He doesn't have to lay over the swing on his stomach to get any motion. He can do it, as Grace says, "his self". Another developmental milestone surpassed!!

Almost a week later, but I do have to say that my Mother's Day was pretty wonderful. I woke up to half of a bagel and a nice cup of coffee in bed, along with cards Ryley and Grace had colored. I love those the best! And I love the things they write in them. It just melts my heart! I literally got to "take the day off". I didn't clean up after anyone (okay, so I cheated a little bit and picked up a few things here and there, and I did clean up after myself of course!), Michael took care of breakfast and lunch. He put the dishes away and dirty dishes in the dishwasher. He even did laundry! We had a quiet morning. After lunch, I sat out on the back patio for a couple of hours, reading in the sun while the kids played. Then we went out to my in-laws' house for dinner and dessert. No work for me there, either! It was just a nice day. And, since I learned this lesson from a very good friend a few years back, the kids and I had a picture taken of us together. I try to remember to do this every year on Mother's Day now. The second picture is one of the kids looking out the front gate at my in-laws' house. We had snapped a picture of them at this gate at harvest a couple of years back. We wanted a new one just to see just how much they've grown. The third picture is the original one at the gate.

Hope everyone had a wonderful, beautiful day.

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Posted by Donna S | Comments: (9) | Permalink

TINY DANCER, PART 3 (OR IS IT PART 4....OR MAYBE 5)

May 12, 2008 01:19pm (EST)

Well, in spite of deciding that she wanted to play soccer last Fall, Grace insisted on continuing with her dancing as well. She did decide, however, that she didn't want to do the tap/ballet combo class anymore. She just wanted to do ballet. So, we switched to a Friday evening class. It is definitely much more intense than the little girls' class on Saturday mornings, but she has learned so much this year. She is the youngest, and one of the smallest, in her class so sometimes it is frustrating for her to see the other girls be able to do things that her body is just not capable of yet, but she hangs in there, and she has fun. Lately, she'd been making noises about not dancing next year since she will be in soccer again, and said she wanted to play baseball in the Spring. Then she found out that a) she will not even be in Ryley's league much less on his team; b) she won't even be on the same team or in league with the neighbor boy; c) she won't even be playing with boys since at her age they move the girls over to a girls' only softball league; and lastly d) she DOES NOT like getting hit with the ball and there is just too much opportunity for that to happen. If she said she just didn't want to do it anymore, I would be sad, but I would take her out. At this point, she's been dancing for three years.....long enough to know if she wants to keep at it or not.

Last week was Fashion Week in our town. I don't consider where we live to be very cosmopolitan, but the powers that be are trying desperately to change that image, so Fashion Week it was. And it ended up being huge! Saturday night, they had a big fashion show as the grand finale. Grace's ballet class was invited to be the "background" for the Child's Play portion of the show. So, three rehearsals, a new leotard/skirt/hair dealies later, we showed up at 6pm Saturday night for a supposed 8pm start. They finally ended up going on at 9:05!!! And they were adorable, absolutely precious. Grace had a fantastic time and I found out something new about my daughter....she LOVES the stage. A soon as she and the rest of her class came off the stage, she asked if they could go do it again. Then, on the way home she told me that she "loves being on stage". Oh yeah. A monster has been created! The girls had been able to use the stylists there for their makeup and final touches on their hair. Grace must have had about a half a can of hairspray in her hair.

I saw my future though as soon as she had her makeup done. This girl has eyelashes that go on for miles and with the teeniest bit of make-up, her eyes just popped out of her face. As her mom, I think I'm allowed to say that she is beautiful - a biased opinion, but mine nonetheless. I told Michael we are in serious trouble when she gets older!!!

Oh, and for those who know me as "Diva D", you might be surprised to find out that I had no idea who the designer guy there was, nor why a couple of the moms and almost all of the models were in such awe. Turns out this guy had been on Project Runway, grew up here, took dance at the same dance school Grace goes to.....I had no clue who he was. He was totally nice, though. Came back and took pictures with the girls, was really sweet.

Needless to say, with the admission that she loves the stage, Grace also told me that she wants to keep dancing. Next year, she will be old enough for some variety and to be on the competition jazz team for under 8 year olds. We have her recital next month. I can't tell who's more excited...me or Grace.

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Posted by Donna S | Comments: (5) | Permalink

GRACIE (AND ETHAN) UPDATE

May 08, 2008 03:21pm (EST)

Ear infection? Really???!!!!! Grace doesn't get them...this is maybe her third ear infection in her entire life. The boys are a completely different story, so hearing that Ethan has one in his left ear was not a surprise, but Grace? with an ear infection? Totally odd. The doc said it probably started out as a regular ol' cold that somehow got into her ear. He is worried about her lethargy and fatigue, so we have antibiotics and go back in two weeks for a re-check. My poor girl. She asks to go to bed, wants to watch movies and rest all afternoon instead of playing, and just isn't up to her regular antics.

So, I'm off to the store as soon as Michael gets home to get more medicine for our wonderful household. I believe Ethan and Grace will be home again tomorrow just to give them time to relax and rest.

Posted by Donna S | Comments: (5) | Permalink

FARMERS GOLF TOURNAMENT AND SICK BABIES

May 08, 2008 09:17am (EST)

I "found" the March of Dimes when I was working at Farmers Insurance. The staff from the local office came to our claims office to talk about WalkAmerica and forming an office team. I was about 8 months pregnant with Ethan at the time, so I just put it in the back of my mind. That was actually the first I knew about what the March of Dimes had done for Ryley. Almost a year later, I knew Walk was coming up. Ethan was nearly a year old, and things in our lives had settled a bit....it was time to start giving back. I logged on to the March of Dimes website, found Share, and the rest is history. I did leave Farmers after Ethan's birth, but some of the ties were still there.

Last year as the Ambassador Family, we were invited to speak at a local Farmers golf tournament. The District Manager who runs it, and who chairs our North County March for Babies, Charles, was happy to introduce me as a former Farmers employee. The night went well and their event was a huge success. When I saw Charles at the March kick-off back in February, he asked us back again this year. So last evening, we made the trek up there (1.25 hour drive each way!) for the tournament dinner. Oh my....they'd just about doubled the number of players in the tournament. The room was HUGE. But what a night. They ended up raising over $25K and it was such an honor to be part of it again. I was once again so touched by how much the mission of the March of Dimes means to Charles, and how many people are jumping on the bandwagon. This year, we talked about what prematurity really meant to our family. They'd heard Ryley's birth story last year. This time, I talked about what it really meant...what prematurity took from us, and the invisible scars it left us with. I was so tired before we left to go up there, and could have thought of half a dozen reasons to cancel, but I'm so glad we did go. I am so proud of Ryley, still constantly amazed at how far we have come, and still feel a need to make people understand just what prematurity is and why we need to work so hard to end it. I came home, still tired, but oh so glad we'd gone.

As for the sick babies....Grace has had a cough for almost three weeks. This is just so not her. She just doesn't get respiratory stuff. She doesn't have (or rather, didn't have) any other symptoms...no runny nose, no sneezing, no ear pain, no fever. Monday afternoon, and just for the afternoon, she had a very low-grade fever. It went away, without meds, by bedtime. She's been so tired, and not sleeping well, but keeps insisting that she's okay. Today, I just said "enough!" and kept her home from school. The low-grade fever has returned, she woke up with ear pain last night, and the cough is still there. It's loose, but definitely affecting her. So, we're off to the pediatrician this morning. I have to say that I am a bit worried. This just isn't like her. I thought it might be allergies...we've had major weather changes over the past few weeks, and there has been a lot of strange stuff floating around after the fires and late rains, but she's never had any other allergies than skin-type allergies, and again, no other symptoms until the past couple of days. Weird.

I'm tired.....it's been a long week with very little sleep. It seems I'm up multiple times a night with one kid or another, or the dogs, or Michael not being able to sleep. I'm ready for a day when I can nap. Maybe Sunday for Mother's Day, I'll get my wish!

Posted by Donna S | Comments: (4) | Permalink

SO MUCH TO BLOG ABOUT, SO LITTLE TIME

May 06, 2008 12:09pm (EST)

To say April is a busy month for us is really an understatement. While I'm glad the month has passed, and things are starting to settle back into routine, I am actually kind of sad that March for Babies 08 is over and done with.

We had our second, and largest, event on the 26th. It is such a different feel from our small North County March. First of all, the sun was shining and it was warm. We had a huge Family Teams tent, and I had about half of the youth volunteers in there helping out the Family Teams Council. It was awesome. We had so much traffic, and reached out to so many families. I was in awe. And I got three more volunteers for our Family Teams Council. I met families that I'd only read stats on in the weekly reports I'd been getting leading up to March. I fell in love with this adorable little boy, Andrew, who is also a 26 weeker like Ryley. It was such a privilege to talk with his mom, share stories, compare notes. Andrew is doing amazingly well, and is just such a handsome little man. I didn't get to walk at this March because I was in the FT tent, but what a gorgeous day. The number of people walking was nearly double what it was last year. We had amazing face painters from the SD Zoo.....my kids were in awe of them. It's hard to put it in words....it's just so different from Carlsbad. I like it, but in a different way. There is just something about seeing 6000 people walking across the bridge in Balboa Park, all there walking for the same reason, a reason that helped save my son's life. I was beyond touched.

A few days before this March, Ethan had his 4 year old check up. It's nice to take a kid to the doctor and know that it's just going to be a standard visit...no surprises, no breath holding, no waiting for that other shoe to drop. He did get half of his kindergarten shots, even though he has another year and a half before he starts. Our pedi likes to split them up so their not getting five shots or so, plus a finger stick, all at the same time they're getting eyes and ears tested and have to learn how to pee in a cup! He was rewarded with plenty of stickers, and hardly cried. All checked out well. His extremely mild asthma kicked up to mild asthma, so we added a med for him, but no biggie. I'm already doing it for Ryley, and I'll do whatever it takes to help him get through Winter and then allergy season as easily as possible. His height shot up hugely since last year. He is a tall, skinny boy just like Ryley and just like his Daddy. It was a long, but uncomplicated visit. Have I said before that I love our pediatrician?

It dawned on me in the midst of all this that this was the first Winter in the 8 that Ryley has been alive when he did NOT end up on antibiotics of one kind or another for respiratory infection, ear infection, or pneumonia. Can I get an AMEN?!!! He only had to take his albuterol two times, and that was just for a few days as compared to the two weeks at a time we've had to do in the past. Maybe we are finally turning that corner with him on this. We'll see what his 8 year old check in the Fall brings.

We are on the countdown to the end of school. Six more weeks to go, then we begin the Summer fun. We have big plans of weekly beach visits, a couple of weeks of Y day-camp, a trip "home" for a week (which will hopefully include at least one A's game!), oh yeah....we're taking the kids to Hawaii for 9 days the week after they get out of school. They are so excited! They've been begging to go back since our trip two years ago. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited too. My parents are going, as are Michael's parents. AND because this year is our 10th wedding anniversary (where has the time gone?), Michael and I will be renewing our vows on the beach with our parents and our children there. I know...it makes me choke up just thinking about it. We've been through so much in the past ten years. Sometimes it feels like we've been together forever. Other times, it seems like it was all just yesterday.

Posted by Donna S | Comments: (8) | Permalink

ARE WE THERE YET?

Apr 21, 2008 01:16pm (EST)

To say getting Ryley potty trained completely has been a challenge is one of the biggest understatements in my life. Yes, I said Ryley, and you read that correctly. Ryley....seven and a half years old...I still can't completely count on him to not have accidents, for whatever reason. We didn't push him too early, we tried to be so patient, heck we even ended up going to a child psych a couple of times to try to determine if this was something mental/emotional or if there was something physically wrong. We finally seemed to get the days sorted out for the most part, but until last week, buying pull-ups was just a way of life.

Ryley is a hard sleeper. I've known this for a long time. He was the kid with the night terrors. He is the child who can fall out of bed and not even wake up. His brain just cannot pull him out of his deep sleep to get up and go to the bathroom. Again, we've not made a big deal out of it. It was starting to break my heart, because he was becoming ashamed of it. He started hiding wet jammies and wet pull-ups, would put a dry set on and then tell us he'd had a dry night. Of course I would find all the wet things, and we'd have yet another discussion about how this is not his fault, we are not punishing him, there is nothing wrong with it, but I knew it had been bothering him for close to a year now.

Well, last weekend, he ran out of pull-ups. I had to make a decision.....would we give it a try, or would I be making an 8pm run to Target? Michael and I decided to give it a shot. Michael told him that if he got through the week without any night wetting, he'd get a new bike (he's been begging for a new bike since before Christmas). Night number one...I woke him up and took him to the bathroom when I went up to bed at around 10:30. Michael woke him up and took him around midnight, and then again at 4am when he got up. Ryley stayed dry. This hadn't happened before. We've tried the waking him up a couple of times already...he'd still be wet in the morning. Same thing Tuesday night, and Wednesday night, and Thursday night, and then Friday night. He has now made it an entire week without a wet bed. We have still been waking him up, so it's getting tiring, but it is HUGE step in the right direction. You can just see the joy on his face. He is so proud of himself. AND he got his new bike yesterday. We are going to borrow one of those alarm things from a friend who used it for their son. We can't keep waking him up three times a night indefinitely, so hopefully the alarm will be the final step in what has been an extremely long road.

Now, if I can just get Ethan trained too (at night), I won't have to buy pull-ups ever again!

Posted by Donna S | Comments: (10) | Permalink

MARCH FOR BABIES, PART UNO

Apr 19, 2008 05:52pm (EST)

Today was our first March for Babies in San Diego County. I had been nervous, stressed, overwhelmed all week. But as usual, once I got there and just did it, everything was okay. I sit here this afternoon, and going back over the morning, emotions rise to the surface.

It was not our typical beautiful sunny day by the beach for this March. Our "small" walk is right along the beach, and normally is just gorgeous. Today, it was overcast, windy, and cold. I had on two sweatshirts and a shirt and was still shivering! I was disappointed in that, but as usual, the March went on and no one seemed to really mind the weather.

Our Family Teams tent was right next to the Mission Tent. This year, one of our local NICU's donated an isolette to the event. And our Programs Director had some life-size dolls of a 25 weeker, and a 30 weeker. Here's where the emotions come in......My friends all know Ryley's story, but since we moved down here when he was nearly two years old, never saw him during his NICU days. I try to explain how small two pounds is, how small a 26 weeker would be, how small Ryley was, but words only go so far, and even pictures only go so far. My friend J picked up that 25 weeker doll and held it in one hand. She was stunned, and she was speachless. "Was this how big Ryley was?" Well, Ryley was actually "big" for a 26 weeker at 2 lbs and 15 inches long, but the doll was actually very close to his size at birth. You know, seven and a half years later, I almost had forgotten what it was like to see how small Ryley was in the beginning. You somehow get so used to it....but seeing that doll just took me back. Even now as I write this, I'm getting choked up and tears are rolling down my face. Good gracious.....I could hold my child in one hand and barely feel the weight of his body in those early days. How did something the size of a kitten survive, much less make it this far in life? J was stunned. I think it really hit home for her...the isolette is where Ryley spent his first months...the doll was a good representation of his size. When I tell his story, it is amazing, but to see and hold takes it so much further.

Part of a corporate team came into the Family Teams tent. They had on shirts with four pictures of family members.....all born prematurely. Standing next to the woman (a home health nurse!!!) was this very tall man.....he was a preemie who'd weighed just under 4 pounds at birth. He must have been 6'3" at least......so vibrant, so nice. His mom must look at him in wonder. I happily shook his hand.....As for the home health nurse, I just thanked her for what she does everyday, and handed her my Family Teams Council card to pass on to the families she takes care of.

For part of the route, I walked with our Ambassador Mom for 2008 (who is also part of my Council), and we talked. Her twins were born at 29 weeks, and are almost 2 years old now. They are positively adorable and are doing so well. She has lots of questions about what she's feeling even now as their mommy. A friend of hers who stood beside her during their entire NICU journey is pregnant. L is having a very hard time dealing with some of the choices this friend is making regarding her pregnancy. She wondered if what she was feeling about this friend's choices were "normal". I assured her they were. Once you have a child or children prematurely, your entire perspective changes. You never look at pregnancy or childbirth in the same manner. That is just another part of the "new normal". Having this conversation encouraged me even more that not only do we need parent -to - parent support in the NICU, but also after the NICU. This is becoming my new mission with regard to prematurity. We also talked about pregnancy after preemie as the thought has entered her mind that she would like more children, but she is terrified. I told her honestly that if we had not unexpectedly gotten pregnant with Grace when we did, I am not entirely sure we would have had anymore children. It brought back so many of the emotions I went through while I was pregnant with G.

After walking, I came back to the Family Tent where I met and talked with more families....heard more stories.....shared our story. One of the other Family Teams Leadership Council chairs was there from Northern CA (her parents live down here). It gave me a boost to see her and talk with her. The FT tent had more traffic than it's had ever, and this March for Babies had over 200 more walkers than it's ever had. We had our Team Roo photo taken in front of the mission poster with Ryley on it. And before I knew it, it was time to clean up and head home.

One March for Babies down, one more to go next Saturday. I'm sure this week will bring the stress of preparing, but I know come March time, it will all come together and be another amazing day.

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Posted by Donna S | Comments: (7) | Permalink

I WANNA UPPEEZ, MOMMA

Apr 14, 2008 01:43pm (EST)

These are the words I've been hearing lately from Ethan. How much longer will that last? They're growing up so quickly, and I know that before I know it, they'll be living their own lives, out of the nest of home.

I was working in Grace's class on Friday. Her teacher has two sons. One (the youngest) just turned 18, so she's going through a huge adjustment, realizing they're both adults and the core of her mommy job is done. Her pride in them shows, but there was a sadness in her words as well, and it just reminded me how quickly they grow up.

There are days when I wish my kids were older, more independent, less "work"......But then I hear moms at the stage Grace's teacher is in and I realize that the worst thing I could do is wish their childhoods away. Friday night, Ethan came back downstairs (a few times) after we'd put them all to bed. We usually let them have slumber parties in each other's rooms on the weekends. Ethan was having none of it. The third time he came down, he said he wanted to sleep downstairs. I was just watching Idol Gives Back, so I had him grab his blanket and settle down with me. He was out in about 10 minutes. I must have sat there for another hour with him asleep in my lap. I just enjoyed every minute of it. I know it won't be long before he won't even fit in my lap anymore, much less will he want to be there. Yesterday at church, we weren't 10 minutes into the service when he said "I wanna uppeez Momma" and then cuddled his head into my shoulder, just wanting to be held. Michael gave me a funny look for holding a 4 year old as if he were 1 or 2, but again, how much longer will he even ask to be held?

Ryley doesn't even really try to sit on my lap anymore. He's just too tall. He'll sit next to me, squashed as close as he can get, but no lap for him anymore. I do love that he will sit there with me and watch a baseball game. Doesn't even matter who's playing...he will ask me who I want to win, and he will ask question after question about what's going on with the game. He's learned how to read the scoreboard (helps that I quiz him frequently on what inning it is, what the count is, what the score is, where the runners are) and is continually learning more and more about the game. Nothing could make me more proud. His game has definitely improved a ton.....I think he wants to make mom proud, which he does every day. But he's getting so tall....my tiny baby that I used to be able to hold in one hand is nearly to my chin, and will probably be as tall as, if not taller, than me by the time he's 10!

Sometimes I wish I could go back....not that I didn't cherish those moments of their babyhood, but because I want to relive them for just a bit. Even those middle-of-the-night, half-asleep feedings, and the naps on the couch with one or the other of them on my chest, and all the "firsts"........I miss them. Don't get me wrong...these are really fun times with them. But every time (or almost every time!) Ethan says "I wanna uppeez, Momma", I will try to oblige him. Because before you know it, he'll be too big and won't want to be held anymore.

Posted by Donna S | Comments: (4) | Permalink

LIFE IS CERTAINLY STRANGE

Apr 08, 2008 05:02pm (EST)

If you'd told me seven years ago that anything good would come out of Ryley's early arrival, I very likely would have told you that you were completely nuts. But time passes, and we learn our lessons, and good things do come out of bad. Three and a half years after his birth, I found the March of Dimes...or maybe it found me. Either way....almost a year after that, I found Share. A few months later, I had friends, close friends, who completely understood my guilt, my fears, my pain, my scars. Over time, even those friendships developed into something much deeper than "just" the commonality of premature children. Last week, I got to spend the better part of a week with one of those friends. I marvel at the closeness....I truly feel like I have known her forever, and she is one of the closest friends I've had in my entire life. If nothing else good had come of Ryley's early birth, I would be so grateful for just this friendship. I am blessed to have so many other "good things" and friendships out of this deal, and a mission for life to boot.

I've spoken before of the now-annual poker tournament we hold to raise funds for the March of Dimes through our Family Team, Team Roo. It was held this past weekend. In spite of a downward spiraling, tough economy, we raised over $4000. Yes, we were down on attendance and fundraising from last year, BUT we had a lot of first timers, and were able to spread awareness even further. And I've made it a point this year to let friends, family and acquaintances know that Ryley's outcome is NOT the norm. It was an emotional night, it was an amazing and also fun night. I can't believe it's done for another year. And it was made so much better by that fact that my dear friend Karri was here. I didn't feel like I was fighting an uphill battle....there was someone standing there who knew all of it....all the ugliness of the NICU, all the heartbreak of prematurity....When I was speaking to the group and felt myself faltering, I looked up and there she was in the back of the room and I could feel the support carry me through.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I firmly believe that good can come from the bad. And life is certainly strange. And what an amazing opportunity we have to reach out to others through this wonderful community who may be struggling to see that good (which may take years to realize). And what blessings I have in my life through the March of Dimes, from my son to the many wonderful friends I have found.

Posted by Donna S | Comments: (7) | Permalink

AND WE HAVE LIFT-OFF.....I HOPE

Mar 25, 2008 08:01am (EST)

The day has finally arrived. T-minus zero, and hopefully we have liftoff. Ethan is four years old today!!!!!! I'm so done with three year old boys. I adore my youngest son...he has a way of saying the funniest things and seriously has a personality all his own. But I could have really done without all that wonderful behavior this past year.

I can't believe he's four. That just sounds like such a big boy to me. This time four years ago, we were just heading to the hospital for an induction. Seems once I had one preemie, my body had to be forced to let the other two out. I remember standing beside the truck outside the hospital that morning...it was a beautiful day, the sun was rising over the mountains behind the hospital, not a cloud in the sky. I remember thinking that our lives were going to be different the next time I was outside of that hospital. It was a very long day....even with the pitocin, it was 13 hours from beginning to end. Ethan had his head tilted, and had the cord around his neck twice. We almost ended up going for an emergency c-section when his heart rate started decelerating with each contraction. But then we got him moved a bit, and the decels stopped. In spite of that little excitement, Ethan's birth was that birth....the one I had imagined from the time I first found out I was pregnant with Ryley. I had the epidural.....I was in no pain. The day was long, but Michael and his mom were there to entertain me. My doctor was wonderful. The nurses were so nice. When Ethan came out, they put him on my tummy....I just cried. It was amazing.

I often call Ethan my healing baby. After two wrecks of pregnancy and birth, two emotional years, I'd finally gotten the pregnancy, the birth, and the infancy I'd dreamed of. Ethan was such an easy baby. He hardly ever cried. He ate well. He grew. He thrived. He did everything early. He was such an angel. Then he turned three and all you-know-what broke loose. Pretty much, the only peace I've had with him the past year is when he's asleep.

Cheers to four years old. Happy Birthday, my beautiful youngest child. We survived the threes!!!!!! I love you!

Ethan and first Snoopy

Ethan and Papa

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Posted by Donna S | Comments: (12) | Permalink

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