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McTriplet Mommy

March 2010

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FIRST STEPS

Oct 27, 2005 07:46am (EST)

The EI program here is called "First Steps". But this blog is NOT about Early Intervention therapies!!!

Okay, so our EI teacher (the only one Sullivan gets to play with) came over last night. She was dumbfounded about the boys' progress in just a week!!! Lorne sat up for almost *10* minutes totally unassisted. *Totally*. He is a bit "lazy" though (I use that term loosely for a boy that had to fight for life for so long, and continues to fight for his health, he truly isn't lazy!

) and if he realizes that you are NOT supporting him, he immediately leans back and falls over. He is so silly! Isaac pulled up for the *first* time just last Tuesday in his crib and only to his knees... last night when Sarah was here he was pulling up and crusing around the exersaucer! In a week!!! Cinderella story. Okay, Sullivan... my monktapus (glad that was so well received!)... has been doing this "lunging" thing lately. He easily pulls up and cruises around the couches and toys but when he really wants something he can't reach, he typically drops to his bottom and then crawls over there. If it is a *person* that he wants, not a toy, he just lunges towards you and hopefully you're looking to catch him! He has started getting more and more brave and will reach further and further. Last night, he let go of an exersaucer and took three steps towards me before he fell into my lap!!! It didn't really seem to me like "walking" b/c it was so fast and sloppy. Sarah said she would consider it taking steps. Holy cow. He can't get enough of it now!!! He will take three or four steps at a time and just fall into me. I always joked he would run before walk and I think he is!!! What a doll. It made me teary, my little one year old boy (whom is only "supposed" to be NINE months, mind you!) is walking! Well, running! Whew! And I thought he was wearing me out already!!

I also got my invitation to the Prematurity Summit here in November. I am excited to go but, if I can be really honest, totally confused about it! I don't know what to expect, what to wear or anything else. I have found a babysitter so the most important thing is taken care of. I *thought* it was a daytime thing and Scott and his mom were going to have to take the boys to get their Synagis and flu shots "alone"!! It is so funny to me, I take them to the doctor (and everywhere else!) 99% of the time by myself but I *know* the TWO of them couldn't have possibly handled taking them in just for shots! Those are the easy appointments, the hour and a half well-checks are the bad ones.

Hope everyone is having a good Thursday. Look for my blog Saturday... exciting news if all goes well!!

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (6) | Permalink

REACH OUT, I'LL BE THERE!!

Oct 26, 2005 11:51am (EST)

Oh my goodness, a few days ago, I read Amy's post about Kamryn kissing her (I've since been obsessed with the boys learning to kiss me!). Anyway, today I had one of those crying from being so happy moments!!!

Lorne reached for me today for the first time. I walked past him and he reached up for me as I walked by and followed me with his hands. I just looked at him. I am so cruel, I kept walking by seeing if he would still do it! He did.

I said, "Do you want up? Do you want Mommy?" and he totally freaked out and did his "excited dance" (so hard to describe but you'd know it if you saw it!) and I picked him up and told him of course he can have Mommy, he can have anything he wants if he asks like that!!

I also wanted to blog today about my sweet Sullivan. I feel like 90% of my posts are about Lorne, 9% about Issac and his vision and sometimes I mention that, oh yeah, I have another son! I know that you all understand that it's not because I think any less of him, it's just that I often don't have much to say! He is the dream preemie, if there is such a thing. Escaped virtually unscathed from his early entrance and 2 1/2 month NICU stay. He is incredibly healthy, thank God, and is doing so well. He is smaller than he "should" be according to growthing charts which, of course, do NOT take into account adjusted age but that is about his only "problem". Of course, if you ask him, he'd say another big problem is that, of the four pretty women (therapists and teachers) that come over here and work with the boys, three of them have nothing to do with him! So unfair!

He is soooooo active, if anyone is looking to lose weight, you can borrow him for the day! Chasing him exhausts me.

I also invented a new word. Monktapus. Sullivan is my little monktapus. A climbing, giggly, silly little monkey and an eight armed, into everything octapus. He takes his brothers' toys, pacis or whatever else he thinks they might be interested in! I cannot clean anything up from the day until he is safely in his crib because he undoes all of my hard work! I love him so dearly.

I also saw/heard something "funny" on "Babies: Special Delivery" a few days ago when they were delivering a 26 week preemie. The doctor made some comment that, since the babies were so small, sometimes they come out very quickly and you have to be careful to catch them. Now, the reason this is funny to me... my husband always says that the doctor "had to catch Isaac in mid-air" (I had my eyes squeezed shut). He thinks it's hilarous (now... don't think it was too funny at the time). I always assumed he was exaggerating!! Just made me think what it really must have looked like for Isaac to shoot out of there and what a great story that will be on prom night.

Hope this finds everyone well. We had a great date last night and even some leftovers for lunch! Our EI teacher comes tonight and she always makes me feel so good about the boys and their progress.

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (6) | Permalink

GOOD ORAL HYGIENE

Oct 25, 2005 10:49am (EST)

DARCY!!! HELP ME!!!

Oh my goodness, my little Lorne has me at wit's end! On the one side, I think he will have great teeth, loves to floss. On the other hand, he will not keep his oxygen tubing out of his mouth! I know, why would a mommy give a baby (ahem, big boy) such an awesome toy like *oxygen tubing* and ask them not to play with it!! He is so cute, runs it through his mouth like flossing between his tob and bottom teeth.

I have tried telling him, "No oxygen," (which just sounds funny to say) or "No wires" like I always say to Sullivan when he is pulling on the oxygen, wires or whatever else but he just thinks it's hilarious. I give him toys and he would rather play with his oxygen!! I am especially afraid now that he has all of those chompers in there that he will damage the tubing, without us knowing, and his oxygenation will be compromised. What a goofball. The good news is he is still on his 1/4 liter and doing *great*!!!

On another Lorne note... this morning, after Daddy fed him, I turned the light on to disconnect the tubing and he had opened the med port and let the formula run all over. I cleaned up the crib and gave him a bath ("scheduled" for tonight anyway so no big deal) and put him in dry clothes. Then, at nap time, he disconnected the whole tubing (in his other crib, of course, the clean one!) and I cleaned up him, the crib, and changed his clothes again. Then at second nap time, same thing. He thinks it is REALLY funny. I mean, I really think he knows what he's doing!!

Last thing about Lorne... we lost his contact, time six, but I think this time, for good. I called to schedule an appt to get a new one (they said they could just order it for us and we could come pick it up but the dr said two months ago that his prescription would probably change by now so I don't want to order it and have it change in a few weeks! That's why I wanted to see the doctor first....) They can't get us in until one day *after* our already scheuled appt so we'll just wait until then. I just worry about his eye for two weeks without it. Ugh.

Isaac pulled up for the very first time last Tuesday in his crib. Then we had a few days of screaming b/c he could pull up but not sit back down! He still sometimes gets frustrated but usually is able to handle it himself. Scott calls him "The Cinderalla Story - Outta No where" and thinks he is going to show Sullivan who is REALLY boss around here!!

Talked to my mom this morning about the holidays. I love/hate having such a close family. Everyone wants to see us and, of course, everyone thinks their plans are the most important. I hate being pulled in a million different directions and dreading it. Ugh!!

Hope everyone is having a nice Tuesday. Scott is on days this week and we are going out to dinner!! Nikko Japanese Steakhouse, yum!!!

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (2) | Permalink

GREAT WEEKEND

Oct 24, 2005 07:11am (EST)

I had such a great weekend. My little brother graduated from college on Saturday!! Well, he didn't really graduate Saturday... the ceremony is once a year so we have to wait until May and he was done w/his classes last week. I don't know when he is actually considered a "graduate" but his party was Saturday. A little background on my little brother... not always the best kid. Well, always a good kid, of course, what brother of mine wouldn't be, but sometimes his actions left a little to be desired. He had a lot of problems in high school and kind-of got into the wrong crowd. I won't get into all of it because it is his business and I don't know if he wants me sharing it with the world on the internet! This degree (business administration) is a eight year on again, off again, endeavor that is finally completed!! My step-mom and mom threw a big party at my dad and step-mom's house. It was great! I got to connect with one of my cousins (I have mentioned her before... she and her twin brother are 32 y/o former preemies and their parents are the ones that live(d) in New Orleans). She is going through a rough time right now, too, and it was *great* to just spend some time talking with her!! There were also tons of kids there that we graduated from high school with and I haven't seen a lot of them since then, so fun!! My other cousin (twin brother of the first... keep up!) came and brought his wife and his two kids. A 2 y/o and 4 month old. I was holding her (the 4 month old) thinking how itty-bitty she was! It was so fun to snuggle and hold a tiny baby. I kept commenting on how "tiny" and "small" she is. Her mom told me she weighs *15* pounds! Sullivan only weighs 19. She is not THAT much smaller than my boys are even now!! So funny how relative things are. It just made me realize that, my boys must have really come far. When we brought them home, they were small, but they seemed so big to us, big enough to come home!! We had seen them alomost than triple their weight in three months. They were all around 5 lbs when they came home... and here is this 15 pound little girl that I'm afraid I'm going to break!! Hilarious...

Yesterday ran some errands and then I went to a Mary Kay party at my sister-in-law's house. So fun! My 3 y/o niece was there, too, along w/some of my SIL's friends. My niece was *hilarious*. Wanted to put on make-up w/the big girls!! She excitedly asked me when we got there, "Aunt Kara (pronunced "Tay-uh"), you here for the lipstick party?" She washed her face, put on foundation, lipstick *mascara*, the whole works. She was the total life of the party!! You can imagine what she looked like!! She even "helped" grandma with hers! It was fun, too, to have a day w/the girls (my BIL kept peeking in looking horrified!). I could have spent Scott's next paycheck on make-up and skincare! I went w/lipstick and gloss and called it a day.

When I got home, our friends had stopped by w/their 10 m/o twin girlies. We got some good pictures of the boys w/them since they will all end up related some day.

So funny, the doctors thought the girls were identical at birth (and they looked it!!) and they hardly even look related now!!! *FIVE* kids under 11 months in the house. She also has 3 y/o identical twin boys and a 7 y/o. I can't imagine... we decided next summer, when it is a little "safer" to get together, we will have a play group. Whew! I am worn out just thinking aout it!!

This morning I took the boys' summer clothes out of the closet (sniff, sniff) and began taking the tags off of the winter stuff. I can't believe it. Luckily, w/three, I haven't been all that used to getting out with them so I won't miss it a whole lot.

Sorry this blog is a whole lot of nothing. I just really felt good going to bed last night. I had a fun, productive weekend. I also talked to my cousin in St. Louis about her bridal shower that I am planning in November. She invited *70* (yes seventy!!) women. Holy cow.

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (6) | Permalink

IMAGINE THE REST

Oct 20, 2005 11:35pm (EST)

Part 3, the NICU and current

Imagine… coming up every day to see those babies. And spending as much time as you possibly can. But, of course, your husband still has his own appointments, too, and you would like to be there for him, too so you are being pulled in a million (or four) directions.

Imagine… getting home, finally, and checking your e-mail only to find alllllll of these American Baby e-mails you signed up for. They say things like, "Congratulations… you are 30 weeks pregnant today! Your baby is doing [this] inside of you." and you wanting to cry because your boys *aren’t* doing that… inside of you… and you aren’t 30 weeks pregnant. You never will be.

Imagine... any time your husband is ten minutes later than he should be, you picture he has fallen somewhere because he lost his balance and panic and call his cell phone until he answers.

Imagine... he answers the phone at Lowe's because he just HAD to stop and get something for his newest project.

Imagine… renting a breast pump and using it, every day, every three hours to give your babies breast milk even though they aren’t eating quite yet. You resolve to do this for a week and see how it goes… then another week… then another… and when it has been five months, and all of the babies are home, and you are too exhausted to take care of them because, they, of course, can’t nurse so you are feeding all three AND pumping, you stop. And cry all of that day that you are "giving up."

Imagine… "comforting" your sons after spinal taps, central lines, blood draws, heel sticks and whatever other horrible things the nurses did. But comforting isn’t hugging and caressing or even soothing words because your babies still can’t handle the "stimulation" of being touched or even really talked to much.

Imagine… all of those preemie things that kids go through. You had NO idea what you, and your babies, were really in for at birth. You were just hoping they’d live.

Imagine… you and your husband getting to hold two of your babies, Isaac and Sullivan, on the same day! But the pain that you felt because your other son still isn’t "ready" yet.

Imagine… the day when your husband *finally* got to hold his oldest son, when he was almost six weeks old and how very, very proud he looked.

Imagine… the day, a few days later, when you got to hold your oldest son. And you totally freak out and are very uncomfortable and beg your favorite nurse whom just happens to be the one there, "*Please* put him back in bed before I accidently hurt him."

Imagine… your oldest son having laser surgery, and two additional ones, for ROP. You are completely blindsided because you had NO idea that vision issues were a preemie thing. You thought they’d have mostly heart and lung complications.

Imagine… your middle son having the same treatments, plus four more, and you are *completey* blindsided because he is one of your HEALTHY sons.

Imagine… finally, after 2 1/2 months, two of your sons are coming home!!! Three days before Christmas!!! What a gift!!!

Imagine… the horrible feeling that this means your other son will be in the hospital, alone, for much, much longer, and definitely through the holidays.

Imagine… two babies on monitors, oxygen, breathing treatments and at least half a dozen meds each. And how overwhelmingly happy you are that you are doing all of this at home.

Imagine... the first night you put to use the adorable cribs and bedding you got. That your sister-in-law registered for because you were on bedrest.

Imagine… the day that you *finally* get to bring your oldest son home. The son that you were never supposed to get the opportunity to bring home because he was born too early to survive.

Imagine… brining him back four days later because he is working *so* hard to breathe.

Imagine… having to see your son on that HORRIBLE vent… again… because they can’t bring his sats up past 70 no matter how high they turn the oxygen up.

Imagine… him being discharged… again… four weeks after his first discharge.

Imagine... taking care of three babies, essentially on your own every night, because once your husband takes off his prosthesis at night, he cannot get around with the babies. At all.

Imagine… many, many eye surgeries, fundo, g-tube, readmissions for respiratory distress, and the ups and downs of preemie life. Too many things to list individually. Way too many.

Imagine… the first time the doctors tell you that two of your sons are "legally blind." Whatever that means.

Imagine... feeling so disconnected from the world because you can't allow any visitors around your new babies (whom everyone is dying to see!!) and you *certainly* can't bring them any where for fear of nasty germs.

Imagine... trying to satisfy everyone with weekly e-mail updates on the crew.

Imagine... having a baby that just *stops* eating because he has learned it hurts sooo badly.

Imagine… the first week that you have NO doctor’s appointments is one of the best weeks ever and thinking that was such a weird thing to even be excited about. You had gotten so used to every week, usually more than once, usually for more than one of your babies, going to some doctor somewhere.

Imagine… learning, and teaching, technology and words that you had no idea about before your boys made their early entrance. You feel so smart!

Imagine… having a child that, every single time he catches even a little cold, he "gets" to spend a week in the hospital because his lungs are still that fragile.

Imagine... calling the NICU for advice after your boys are discharged and every single person there, whomever happens to answer, knows exactly who you are because you spent sooo much time there.

Imagine… hearing your triplet mommy friends constantly complain about how much weight they gained and can’t get off, how much their body was distorted from getting so big and how badly they want a tummy tuck.

Imagine… wishing you could complain about that, too, but you never really got "that" big, measured "only" 36 weeks at delivery.

Imagine… hugging your babies before bed. All of your babies. At home where they belong. The babies that were so "doomed" at birth, one even more so than the others, that you didn’t think you’d ever get to bring them home. Any of them.

Imagine... being so thankful for infertility problems. Your husband is one of three brothers and you were ONLY going to have two kids... for sure... no discussion... having three would just be terrible, creates a "middle child", and we certainly would not want that.

Imagine... all of their milestones, even the silly little ones, meaning a hundred times more than you thought they would. And so they should!

Imagine… the fun of throwing a first birthday party for three little boys. Three big boys. And just standing back, watching them tear into their cake making the world’s biggest mess and thinking that even though the events over the past 18 months weren’t exactly how you planned them, your life could not *possibly* get any better.

Imagine… what a lucky, lucky, lucky Mommy you are. You often remind yourself of that when everyone is screaming, throwing food, picking on each other, waking up in the middle of the night, pulling feeding tubes out, and whatever else one year olds do!

Imagine… wanting to help the March of Dimes… desperately… help any family, any mommy or daddy, any big sister or big brother, aunts, uncles, grandparents, ANY one who has to go through any of this. Desperately, hoping to connect to anyone that needs your help. The help you wish you could have gotten in the NICU. The help you finally have now.

To my Share friends… you are amazing. I truly have no idea how I would do it without you! I *would* do it, but it would be hard. Very hard. Thank you for providing so much support and being so interested in me and my "big boys" (I remembered that time, Sharlene)!

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (9) | Permalink

IMAGINE...

Oct 20, 2005 05:12am (EST)

Part 2 (don't worry, there's only one more!) My pregnancy and deliveries.

Imagine… getting to see your babies… often… because they are watching you so closely and how reassuring that was to know they were "okay", at least until the scan next week.

Imagine… finally geting that bad news that they keep looking for, at 14 weeks… your cervix is funneling from the weight of three babies. This is, of course, the only sono your husband didn’t go to b/c he wasn’t feeling well and, "They’re just going to quickly check my cervix again."

Imagine… being sent directly over to the hospital.

Imagine… when you get there, absolutely no one has any idea who you are or why you are there because your doctor hasn’t called yet and you having to explain it, as best you knew, all the while sobbing uncontrollably.

Imagine… being on Mag for the next 24 hours and your doctor coming in the next day and telling you they’re going to do a cerclage to help keep the babies in and that you will likely be "down" for the rest of the pregnancy.

Imagine… going down for the surgery and everyone making a big fuss over you because your are pregnant with triplets. All the while, you just want to fade into the woodwork and not think about your pregnancy…. as if that’s possible.

Imagine… getting to go home… a week later… after week on Magnesium Sulfate, the most disgusting drug ever… after a week of not showering… after a week of sleeping in a *closet*, alone, where nurses bug you all night.

Imagine… this all happening, again, four weeks later.

Imagine… sometime in between, although your life is so horrendous at that time that you don’t even remember when it was, that you found out babies "B" and "C" are boys! Two sweet boys you are doing all of this for.

Imagine… your wonderful sister-in-law and your husband registering for YOUR baby gifts because you are on bedrest.

Imagine… your mother-in-law and husband painting the nursery and getting ready for YOUR baby because you are on bedrest.

Imagine… your mom returning most of your maternity clothes because you won’t really need them, you can just wear sweats at home, because you are on bedrest.

Imagine… missing the first (only) exciting thing in your husband’s life since his surgery… the day he gets his prosthesis… because you are in the hospital getting your *second* cerclage.

Imagine… having to watch him walk for the first time using it on video while your mother-in-law tells you how great he did and how happy she was to be there for him. (Page – imagine getting to see your *husband’s* first steps in addition to your son’s, three times!)

Imagine… another week in the hospital, on mag, without a shower, in a closet, where nurses bug you all night.

Imagine… you are still throwing up every day.

Imagine… dying to go to the doctor every week, after you are discharged again, to see that your cervix is still closed and, by now, you can read the sonos yourself.

Imagine… finding out that baby "A" is a boy, too!! Three sweet boys you are doing all of this for.

Imagine… your husband missing that sono, too, because HE is in the hospital, for rehab that week, and your mom took you to the doctor.

Imagine… going in for an appointment at 22 weeks and crying when they start the sonogram because your cervix is practically wide open on the screen. You are only 22 weeks along and your doctor said he would only do two cerclages, he usually only does one, so that means he won’t be able to do much else to save your babies because the cercalges obviously aren’t helping.

Imagine… another trip to the hospital.

Imagine… this time, a neonatologist comes in and talks to you. Tells you the stats on babies born at certain weeks. You make your new goal 26 weeks, which has come down, considerably, from your original triplet goal of 36 weeks that you made at the beginning, because that is at least when babies are out of the "gray area of viability" as she put it.

Imagine… five days later, getting up to go to the bathroom and there being blood all over. ALL over.

Imagine… buzzing the nurse’s station, asking for yours to come in, and the girl at the desk saying in a very annoyed voice, "Well, what exactly do you want me to tell her?"

Imagine… the nurse coming in and informing you that she is, of course, not a L&D nurse (that would make too much sense), she is antepartum… she’ll get a L&D nurse.

Imagine… the L&D nurse saying, "Yep, I can feel his hand. I’ll call the doctor."

Imagine… managing to get out, "Should I call my husband?"

Imagine… your husband arriving fifteen minutes later when it is at least 30 minutes from your house.

Imagine… the doctor telling you your "options"… you can deliver all three babies… do nothing meaning that Baby A will suffocate, for sure, but it gives the other two a better chance… or try to just deliver the baby that is already "falling out" even thought that means he probably still won’t survive but at least he’d get a chance. Then, giving you two about three minutes alone so you can make the biggest decision of your lives.

Imagine… deciding, together, with the doctor, that we can at least *try* to deliver just Baby A because you want ALL of these babies. Badly.

Imagine… knowing, for sure, that this decision means that now you *might* get to take home two babies, if all goes well, but definitely not all three because this baby is way too early to survive.

Imagine… being put under general anesthetia for the procedure and not knowing if you were going to wake up pregnant, giving your other two babies at least a *chance* at life.

Imagine… waking up, feeling your belly, thinking, "It still feels pretty big," and asking the nurse to confirm it for sure.

Imagine… being wheeled, quickly, through the NICU on your way back to your room, where everyone is waiting, and "seeing" your baby for the first time. You, of course, don’t remember any of this because you are all doped up from coming out of anesthesia and the pain meds you were given, plus that nasty, nasty Mag that you are still on because you, of course, are still pregnant.

Imagine… announcing the baby’s name when you return to the room, Lorne Jay McBurney, and everyone crying, happily this time, what seems like the first happy moment in the six months since your husband’s accident.

Imagine… people coming to visit you and your husband taking each and every one of them to the NICU to see YOUR baby.

Imagine… all of your friends, not knowing if they should send cards, flower, baby stuff… they aren’t sure yet whether this baby is going to die before their mail gets there or is something to celebrate.

Imagine… everyone that visits, along with all of the doctors, nurses, cleaning people, everyone you come in contact with asking, "Wow, how are you going to celebrate their birthdays?" and you wanting to respond, "Shut the hell up and let me worry about my babies!" or "You know what, if they all live to celebrate their birthdays, I’m sure we’ll figure it out," but instead just smile and hope, desperately, that you WILL have to find a "solution" for this "problem."

Imagine… not seeing your baby again, after his birthday, for over a week and a half, because your doctor doesn’t think it is best for your pregnancy to go down there.

Imagine… being wheeled down to the NICU, finally, in your hospital bed, with your Mag, monitors and nurses in tow.

Imagine… spending only twenty-minutes because it is physically exhausting and you are soooo tired because, of course, only the night shift has time to take you down and it is way past midnight.

Imagine… having a catheter in for three weeks. And blood draws every 12 hours for three weeks. And IV changes every 2 days for three weeks. And bed baths, only, for three weeks. All of these on top of what you already experienced on each of your previous weeklong stays.

Imagine… eighteen days after you become a mom for the first time, Baby A is about to be joined by his brothers because Baby B has started crawling out, too. And you and your husband are not really all THAT worried about it, your 23 weeker is doing "great", your 26 weekers will surely do much better.

Imagine… being relieved that your pregnancy will finally be over. Imagine wishing you could make a deal to do this for at least ten more weeks but knowing that is not possible. You were lucky to get this far.

Imagine… being wheeled to the delivery room to deliver Baby B and actually getting to be awake for the delivery of your own child. Your husband gets to see his son born, too.

Imagine… hearing him bleat, like a little lamb, when he is finally delivered.

Imagine… the neonatologists wheeling him quickly past you and you getting a quick glimpse of your baby… your teeny, tiny, skinny, red, hairy baby… wrapped in plastic wrap… inside an isolette used for transportation to the NICU from the OR where you delievered.

Imagine… Baby C turning from transverse to breech at the last minute and the doctor reaching up and trying to manually pull him out or turn him around so he can be delivered. Imagine thinking that, if Lorne already has his own birthday, can’t this baby have one, too?

Imagine… being put to sleep, again, after the doctor gives up (thankfully) and your last baby being delivered by C-Section.

Imagine… waking up, in more pain than you thought possible, and you thought you had been in the most pain already. The nurses are adamant that you will feel better if you get up and walk…. yeah, right. Rolling over in bed makes you want to scream.

Imagine… finally… walking down to the NICU, two days later, for the first time to see your three sons.

Imagine… when you get there, they say, "Oh, you’re Scott’s wife! Nice to meet you," and your oldest son has already been there for *three weeks*. You really should know them all better (or at all) by now but you only got to see your son twice in his first three weeks of life.

Imagine… three days later… after you are off the drugs… you finally go ONE day without throwing up. Your first in five months. And you get to go home today!

Imagine… leaving the hospital without your children.

Imagine… feeling guilty that you aren’t really as upset about it as you should be. You have been planning, since day one, for a NICU stay and you are just happy to be going home. But still feeling very, very guilty for not being more upset about it.

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (4) | Permalink

IMAGINE THIS...

Oct 19, 2005 11:11am (EST)

Okay, I'm inspired, too. I cried while writing some of this. So weird...

Lorne is home and taking a nap. Fastest discharge ever, I was at the hospital for less than an hour!

He's even back on his 1/4 liter, go him!

Imagine...

Imagine… wanting a baby. Badly. And for as long as you can remember.

Imagine… your husband *finally* relenting and you getting to start "trying".

Imagine… you and your sister-in-law day dreaming about how much fun it will be to get pregnant together!

Imagine… her announcing her pregnancy, three months later, already nine weeks along, and just saying, "Kara, I’m so sorry…."

Imagine… you reassuring her that, of course this was good news! How exciting to be an aunt again!

Imagine… maintaining composure until you reach the car and crying for half an hour.

Imagine… finally getting to go see an infertility specialist and feeling soooo much better about the whole thing.

Imagine… being disappointed, month after month, when the sonograms showed that you had no mature follicles, this medicine isn’t right for you either.

Imagine… going to see that niece born that your sister-in-law was pregnant with, still wanting a baby. Badly.

Imagine… moving on to drugs a little more invasive and a little more until one finally worked!

Imagine… taking seven home pregnancy tests because you were sure that each one was probably wrong.

Imagine… having a doctor confirm it for real!!

Imagine… announcing your pregnancy on Mother’s Day and what a reaction *that* got.

Imagine… imagining your pregnancy. All of the cute maternity clothes you will buy, the people that will stop you at the store and ask, "Boy or girl?" and you smiling excitedly because you don’t want to find out before birth, all of your friends that will want to touch your giant belly and you acting annoyed but actually, loving it, registering for all of the gifts you want your baby to have, getting the nursery ready, *glowing*.

Imagine… throwing up… endlessly.

Imagine… hearing, "Throwing up is good! Means the baby is nice and ‘stuck,’" and that really not being much consolation.

Imagine… getting a call, at midnight, six weeks pregnant when you have *finally* stopped vomiting for the night and fallen asleep from your husband’s work that starts with, "Mrs. McBurney? This is Scott’s supervisor… Your husband has been in an accident."

Imagine… calling your husband on his cell phone to see what is REALLY going on and what hospital he is going to.

Imagine… showing up at the hospital, Saltines in tow and seeing your husband strapped to the bed with oxygen on, and being barely able to hold it together.

Imagine… him joking with you and saying, "So, how do I look?"

Imagine… meeting your in-laws there, whom you don’t always particularly get along with, and comforting each other.

Imagine… the doctors finally saying, after a battery of tests, that his leg would need to be amputated, right above the knee.

Imagine… having to sign the permit for surgery yourself b/c your husband had been given pain meds and was not "competent" to sign them. (But, imagine being sooooo thankful that he was *awake* and knew you were doing it.)

Imagine… waiting for your husband to come out of surgery which, of course, took twice as long as it should.

Imagine… feeling so grown up, in such a weird way, that you were the wife and the surgeon wanted to talk to YOU about how the surgery went.

Imagine… seeing your husband… finally.

Imagine… throwing up through all of this, in a trashcan, in the waiting room, in the corner, so you wouldn’t miss the surgeon by running to the bathroom.

Imagine… having pains in your abdomen, since day one of pregnancy, and *knowing*, secretly, that this pregnancy was probably ectopic.

Imagine… going to your first sonogram, alone, because your husband was in the hospital, half-way across town.

Imagine… the sonographer saying, "It’s three…" and that taking a while to set in.

Imagine… the relief that you will NOT have to take back bad news to your husband who is already going through the hardest time in his life.

Imagine… being "warned" not to share the news that it is triplets with anyone but your husband because, most likely, at least one of the babies won’t make it and, of course, there is reduction to discuss.

Imagine… speeding back to the hospital and kicking everyone immediately out of his hospital room (where you have also been staying) when you return to share the good news and show him a sonogram with three babies in it.

Imagine… seeing your husband cry for the first time in the five days since his accident.

Imagine... what a great "distraction" this pregnancy is for you and your husband and your family and everyone else that loves you. Imagine all of those visitors visiting your husband in the hospital, looking so horrified and at a loss for words and getting to say, "But guess what? I'm pregnant! And it's TWINS!!" Imagine their surprise months later when you tell them all that you lied, you knew all along it was triplets but didn't want to jinx anything.

Imagine… your husband finally being discharged, after rehab, but that is only the beginning… there are many, many more outpatient appointments and specialists to see. You would, of course, love to go with him to all of it and support him through this but, you will be on bedrest soon.

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (9) | Permalink

"WANNA PUT MY TEN-DER HEART IN A BLEN-DER"

Oct 18, 2005 05:26pm (EST)

"And watch it spin around into a beautiful oblivion..."

You know, we have a $20 copy for mental health visits on our insurance. That's a pretty good deal for mental help. For my money though, half an hour in the car, by yourself, with the windows down (well, all of the ones not adorned w/The First Years window shades!), and the radio so loud that the words are so distorted you have no idea what they are (except that you do b/c you have the whole CD memorized) is *almost* as good!!

Lorne had his MRI today. My MIL came to babysit and got her half an hour late, 15 minutes before I needed to walk out the door. So I ran around trying to get Lorne and myself ready while she dealt with the other two. I have blogged before that when she babysits, my house isn't exactly what I would like when I get back... today she had cleaned up the boys' mess, AND unloaded the dishwasher *AND* made new bottles!! I think she might have felt guilty for being late.

Anyway, the whole ride there I had a *terrible* feeling. I mean, I was almost in tears because I knew something was going to go wrong. Weird. I almost didn't want to even take him in because I just had this horrible, terrible feeling about it. Anyway, we go to the radiology dept at 9:45 (they wanted us there by 10:00) and they brought us back right around 10:00. The nurse did her work up on him and that took about half an hour. Then she said, "Okay, just waiting for anesthesia... we should get started around 11:00!" (when his MRI was actually scheduled for). TWO HOURS LATER, the anesthesiologist finally gets there and they let me take Lorne in and put him on the bed while they administer the sleepy meds. I almost lost it. I have no idea why but I was so emotional still from the feelings I had on my way over. They told me to wait in the waiting room and they would come out in about an hour.

In almost exactly an hour, the tech did come out w/my stroller (which I left in the recovery room, they said I could b/c he w/b the next person to use it) and said, "Mom, we're all done." She proceeded to tell me how he did "okay" but that his breathing wasn't exactly good so they sent him to OR recovery.... back up..... He was supposed to remain on his cannula and they were just going to give his oxygen through that, then he was going to recover in the MRI dept for a few minutes, then I would get to go back w/him while he completely woke up then I would get to take him home a few hours later... fast forward... okay, so they sent him to OR recovery. The tech just told me that they were more comfortable sending him there to recover, the anesthesiologist had said she wanted to keep him overnight and that I should go wait in the Ronald McDonald room downstairs. You have got to be kidding me. What the hell is going on? I am *FREAKING OUT*. And, mind you, my husband chose not to go with me, he chose sleep instead, so I am *all alone*.

So, I go to the Ronald McDonald room and wait. In tears. I have *NO* idea what is going on with my son or why all of a sudden he has to recover in the actual recovery dept and now spend the night. Did I meantion that I'm freaking out? *Finally* like two hours later, they call me from the recovery room. He is doing great, I can hear him cooing in the back ground, they are just waiting for his bed upstairs. His sats were low during and directly after the procedure and they didn't feel comfortable sending him home. He is fine... just satting a little low and requiring more oxygen than we brought him in on but fine. I wanted to strangle the people upstairs!!! Why couldn't they have told me ALL of what was going on instead of me thinking my son is in terrible condition? He has CLD, so he needs more oxygen, a *minor* setback but, duh, he was sedated for over an hour. All of this I am comfortable with. I don't think they really needed to scare me to death first!!!

Sorry this doesn't even make any sense. I am ready to crawl into bed for the night but had to Share this. I started my "Imagine..." poem but am not quite ready to post it yet.

OH! So, back to the top... I had to leave him at the hospital, alone, b/c I had to come back home to my other babies. My mom is busy, my MIL had been there all day and "needed" to leave, my step-mom is sick and cannot be around the boys. Lorne was practically fast asleep when I left so I'm sure he is fine. I am going to call right when I'm done and make sure. I was so upset when I left but the loud music helped.

Tomororw I think I am going to have to take the boys up w/me to pick Lorne up, I have no one else to watch them! *THAT* will be fun! As most of you know, you have *no* idea when your child w/b discharged, you have to go up and wait all day for a decision to be made and then four more hours for the orders to be written. Of course, you have to go up first thing in the morning *just in case*. AHH!!!

I think my dad might meet me at the hospital to help me w/the other two. Fun, fun, fun!

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (10) | Permalink

"WANNA PUT MY TEN-DER HEART IN A BLEN-DER"

Oct 18, 2005 04:58pm (EST)

oops.

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (0) | Permalink

ALL ABOUT ME

Oct 17, 2005 11:30am (EST)

Wow, something that is all about *ME*?! Thought it w/b easiest to just post in my blog.

1. Location (state/country): Lee’s Summit (Kansas City), MO
2. How long was your baby in the hospital? Lorne, 5 months (and still a frequent flyer!!!), Isaac and Sullivan both 2 1/2 months
3. How many children do you have? 3.. that number is final!
4. What is your favorite color?Why? Pink… I live with four boys!!
5. What is your favorite food? Probably french fries, I love junk food!… ate a whole package of M&Ms the other day while feeding the boys peas and green beans!
6. Favorite T.V. Show? Alias or Desperate Housewives
7. Favorite Movie? Wow… too many to name! Breakfast Club or Annie off the top of my head
8. Favorite type of music? Probably Punk or old-skool country (Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Patsy Cline)
9. What do you do in your "Spare" time? (I'm laughing as I type that question, as if we ever have spare time?) Yeah, right… if I get free time, I *love* to get a pedicure w/my SIL, Rebecca.
10. Tell us three things people may be surprised to know about you?
1. I used to be totally punk-rock, piercings, hair color, concerts, mosh pits, you name it.. I’m still "closet" punk, as much as you can be w/three adorable one year old boys in tow!
2. I was voted the queen of the Sweetheart Dance in high school
3. I worked at Hardee’s for three years, starting the day after I turned 15, and worked there for 3 years until I could buy my first car!
11. Where would you go on your dream vacation? Scott would say Ireland or Scotland… personally, I’d love to see the pyramids in Egypt
1. What is your favorite animal? My two sweet kitties, Murphy and Sydney
2. What is your biggest Pet Peeve? People who ask dumb questions, especially strangers asking about my babies like they’re some freak show just because I was pregnant with three babies at once.
3. Three more things that people may be surprised to know about you? …man, I had trouble coming up with the first three!!
1. I met my husband on a blind date, set up by his brother while managing a gas station.
2. I worked 80 hours a week PLUS a f/t college schedule at that time.
3. My degree is in "Human Development and Family Life" and I’m sure I’m using it more staying at home than I ever could professionally!
4. Do you stay involved with your Child's hospital in any way, if so how? We visit often to show the boys off. Looking forward to the reunion in a few weeks! We donated our preemie clothes and preemie/multiple pregnancy books to their library in honor of the boys
5. What is your favorite dessert? Brownies w/nuts
6. If you could change one thing about YOURSELF what would it be and why? That’s a hard one… I’m just so perfect as it is…. probably not to be so sensitive and let things roll off easier
7. Do you work? or SAHM? (aside from being a parent which believe me is the hardest job I've ever had) SAHM… always wanted to be!!!
8. What have you found to be the most useful part of Share to you? All of my amazing friends that I SHARE such a special bond with and the overwhelming feeling that, no matter what happens, seems like I’m not alone.
9. What month were you born? My birthday is April Fool’s day!!
10. If someone wrote an autobiography about you, what would the title read? No idea
1. If you could meet anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would it be? Probably my Grandpa Sol whom died when my mom was a teenager (so I obviously never met him)
2. If you could be anything, what would you be? A mommy to triplet preemies and a great wife

3. What is your best quality? Patience and humor.
4. What is your eye color? Hazel (Daddy obviously has blue, the boys got it from him!!)
5. What is your age? (OK, I'm sure there will be shreeks all around!!) 27
6. What is your entire name? (edited: feel free not to post your full name if you are uncomfortable posting it on the internet) Kara Michelle McBurney (figure you all already knew that!) My dad’s name is Michael and Michelle is after him.
1. How did you come up with your childs(ren) name? The first names were all just chosen, basically out of books and discussed (Had we had three girls, thought I’d mention just for fun, would have been Josephine, Roxanne and Sabrina). All three middle names are after their grandparents (Lorne’s is Jay, both Grandma’s names start with "J", Isaac’s is William, his grandpa’s middle name and great-grandpa’s first name, Sullivan’s is Michael, his grandpa’s name)
2. What was your reaction when you found out your were pregnant/gonna be a grandparent? "Finally…" when we found out it was trips (at 6 wks and when my husband was three days out of surgery after having his leg amputated…. and I was SURE the sono would show it was ectopic) "Wow… three times the good news!!"
3. Plain or Peanut? M&M's.... Peanut… or frozen plain
What is your favorite Restaurant? Not my favorite but most frequented is Applebee’s
What is your favorite season (fall/winter/spring/summer) Spring or Fall
Have you ever met anyone famous? If so, who? Not really… went to the Montel show in college and met him.
Do you dance and sing to your kids when no one is around? I dance and sing to my kids when EVERY one is around!
Sing in the shower? Sing EVERY where
Car/SUV/Minivan/Pickuptruck? Ford Expedition… LOVE it!!!
What awareness bracelets do you currently own if any? Children’s Miracle Network and MOD "Saving Babies", Also "Live Strong" in honor of my friends’ dad currently fighting a battle with cancer.
Party or Quiet dinner (for celebrations)? Party if I am not hosting!!!
What was one thing that you learned that you never knew when your child was sick? Wow, WAY too many to mention!! I feel like I could be an honorary nurse!!! Probably how awesomely compassionate and disgustingly rude some people can be. Medically, that babies born so early don’t get to "eat" yet.

Whew!!!
So, there’s the insight into my life! I think that’s my longest blog yet!!

Posted by McTriplet Mommy | Comments: (4) | Permalink