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AandO

July 2010

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CONFIDENCE

Jul 14, 2010 06:06am (EST)

I have never thought of Olivia as lacking in confidence. She's a pretty smug little girl.

But...physically, she's timid. Nothing has ever come easily or naturally to her in the physical arena, especially the gross motor skills that most kids just know how to do, like sitting, crawling, walking. She's had to be taught each of those things. She's had to watch other kids do them and try to emulate them.

Because I found her physical therapist through the school system to be lacking we put her in gymnastics this summer.

She's had five classes.

She's blossomed! The confidence this child exudes is amazing. It's as if she's suddenly realized that her little body is capable of so much more than she'd ever imagined.

She's doing the three-year-old version of a cartwheel (put hands down, hop from one side to the other.) She can do somersaults like the best of them, not even hesitating as she rolls over and over and over.

She's climbing on everything these days and JUMPING down. Her balance has improved immeasurably. She seems sturdier.

I knew gymnastics would improve her core strength, but I didn't know it would happen so fast. I had no idea how much it would improve not just her physical abilities but also her sense of self, her knowledge that her body can do whatever she wants it to do.

This has been invaluable to her. It's something that I didn't even know she needed until we found it for her.

Every single day, this child amazes me and I'm so honored to be the one to watch and help her navigate her way through this world, one somersault at a time.

Posted by AandO | Comments: (3) | Permalink

DOCTORS

Jun 25, 2010 06:02am (EST)

We all know that doctors are human. We've all met good doctors and less than good doctors. Some of us have lost our children at the hands of doctors who don't take their jobs as seriously as they should. That's so wrong.

But then again, some of us are able to hug our children each night as they fall asleep because we encountered doctors who are very, very good at their jobs.

I met one such doctor this past weekend. On Sunday, Father's Day, I took both Alyssa and Olivia to the local RediMed because they'd both run fevers the day/night before and Olivia was complaining that her ear hurt.

Once there, the ibuprophen kicked in and she was loud and peppy.

But whatever...the doctor looked into her ears and declared her infected in both, so I'm glad we went.

As he was getting ready to write her a prescription, he asked if there were any medications I'd been advised that Olivia not take.

I must have looked confused because he went on to explain that there are certain medicines that interact with the muscles and people with low muscle tone should be careful of those medicines.

Thankfully, Olivia rarely takes medicine. Just the occasional antibiotic for ear infections. But this made me think...

Why hadn't either of her pediatricians, the regular one or the developmental one, mentioned that there were medications out there that we should avoid giving her? Why hadn't her geneticist talked about this?

At our next appointment at Riley, I'm going to ask our developmental pediatrician about this and see if we need a referral to a neurologist.

The RediMed doctor said that a neurologist would know better than any other specialist which drugs were most dangers to kids like Olivia.

It was nice to meet a doctor who takes his profession seriously. He obviously has continued to read and study and learn even as he practices the very important science of medicine. I wish he were in private practice, I'd TOTALLY switch doctors to see this guy.

Posted by AandO | Comments: (4) | Permalink

PRESCHOOL

Jun 11, 2010 01:12pm (EST)

While I've lamented the over-crowding that occured in Olivia's preschool class this last year, I hope I've mentioned often and loudly how wonderful her teachers/therapists were. Ms. Gilly was a wonderful teacher/speech therapist. She was so busy, so overworked by all her responsibilities in that classroom but she tried hard to make sure that my Olivia got all that she needed from this class.

For this I will be eternally grateful and while we'll be officially homeschooling Olivia this coming preschool year in preparation for a typical preschool year the following year, I'm so glad that O got a few months of experience under her belt with the help of Ms. Gilly and all the other teachers in her classroom.

I've mentioned countless times that one of the biggest obstacles Olivia faces from her syndrome is her speech. She's a quiet talker and she was delayed in making conversation of any kind.

Tricia, Olivia's beloved physical therapist from First Steps told me once that when Olivia was strong enough to stand up and walk, she'd be strong enough to force that air out of her lungs and make words.

She was so right. Olivia started walking a year ago in April. By the following October (this past October) she was speaking in full sentences. Though she was answering questions and making statements of need, she wasn't initiating much conversation at that point.

In the months that have passed from last October to now, Olivia's speech has grown exponentially. She's talking all the time now.

Just the other morning she was with me and my mom first thing in the morning and asked, "Why is Grammy only wearing on sock on her foot?"

My mom had used vaseline on one foot due to cracks and wore a sock to trap heat and help the vaseline work. But the fact that O noticed this and asked about it was so cool.

We got Olivia's evaulation from her preschool teachers yesterday. They talked about how far she's come with her gross motor skills and her speech.

What got me the most was the line that stated:

"Olivia shows no speech delays whatsoever at this time."

Wow.

Just wow.

I knew she'd come a long way and I'm always proud of her, but...wow. My little sweetie is amazing, beating the odds every single day.

Her teacher also mentioned that Olivia is very competitive and does better at showing what she knows when she's in competition with another student. Hmm, I wonder where she gets that.

Yeah, definitely from Tom.

Another thing pointed out was that Olivia loves to tease. On afternoon, her teacher asked her if she had any pets. (We don't. Have pets, that is.)

Olivia said yes.

Her teacher asked if her pet was a cat.

"No." Olivia said.

"A dog?" Ms. Gilly prodded.

Again, Olivia replied, "No."

Finally, she was asked what kind of pet she had. Olivia answered, "A chicken."

Yeah. Not so much with pet chickens at our house.

I love that she has a sense of humor and knows how to use it. I love that she's her own person and is already, at three years old, making her mark on the world.

I love that she's just plain awesome.

And here's a picture of her latest haircut. We did it for the summer in an effort to break the habit of pulling...we'll see.

Shorn

Posted by AandO | Comments: (3) | Permalink

NEW

Jun 09, 2010 01:52pm (EST)

Because I'm an over-sharer and I've felt a HUGE sense of loss during the time that Share was off-line, I found myself logging on to blogger and starting a new blog.

If you want to follow me there:

www.thissideofordinary.blogspot.com

I will stick around and support everyone here because I love you all and want to be here.

I hope everyone is well. It feels like forever since my fingers tripped across the keyboard. Oh yeah, I'm that addicted to over-sharing.

See you on the other side of ordinary.

Posted by AandO | Comments: (3) | Permalink

MINI-ME

Jun 03, 2010 10:37am (EST)

During my pregnancy with Alyssa, I thought for sure I'd want just Tom and the doctor/nurses in the room during delivery.

Then my water broke, labor failed to start and they put me on pitocin and we waited.

And while we waited, my mom showed up. Then my dad

and several aunts.

Let me stop here and say that while my dad WAS there, he stayed in a corner back by my right shoulder and never, EVER peeked during exams or the actual delivery and since I adamently refused to have a mirror anywhere near the delivery zone, he saw nothing. Thank the heavens and all that his holy.

So yeah, there were quite a few people in there.

And in the end, I was glad for it.

I loved that I was able to glory in the beauty of my brand new daughter and watch my mom wipe away a tear of wonder as she gazed upon her first grandchild.

I also loved that my mom's first words after Alyssa was born were, "She looks just like her dad."

And she did. She had dark, dark hair (I know!) and her nose was a miniature version of his. She just looked around, as if surprised by all the fervor.

And as she's grown, Alyssa has continued to look like Tom. And I love this. I love that I can be so mad at him about something and then have him give me a look that is just like a look Alyssa gave me just hours before and the anger vanishes.

While she looks just like Tom, Alyssa seems to be getting a lot of her personality and behaviorisms from me.

I'm not sure these are all good things for her to have inherited from her dear old mother.

First, if she can cartwheel from one place to another, she will. Though, I'm not so sure this is so much a trait she got from me as it is just a seven-year-old girl thing. But I do remember doing exactly the same thing at her age.

She's VERY whiny in the mornings. I'm no peach myself when I have to get up before I'm good and ready.

Tom, on the other hand, is quite chipper in the mornings, so chipper, in fact, that he's prone to singing non-sensical songs at the top of his lungs. It's exceedingly annoying.

She's also really shy. Shy to the point of stand-offish, even. I was the same way. It actually helped me (and helps her) in school because we come off as way more confident than we actually are and kids seem to want to hang with us even when we don't give any encouragement whatsoever.

I know. Weird.

But the weirdest thing she got from me? That was revealed last weekend when she said to me, "Let's play Star Trek."

Give it a minute. Let it soak in. Let's. Play. Star. Trek.

She then announced she'd be Captain Kathryn Janeway and asked me who I wanted to be. Obviously I said I'd be B'Elanna

. She decided that if I was B'Elanna, then of course, Daddy would have to be Tom Paris.

I won't bore you with any more details, suffice it to say, it was great fun "playing" Star Trek with Alyssa.

And I confess that this is very much something she more learned from me than inherited. I'm working my way through season 4 of Star Trek: Voyager these days. Tom was awesome and got me all seven seasons for Mother's Day.

My family ROCKS!

In a nerdy sort of way.

Posted by AandO | Comments: (1) | Permalink

HESITANT

Jun 01, 2010 11:53am (EST)

So...yeah.

Today is day eight of Project: Pee in the Potty.

And what do you know...it seems to be working.

I'm hesitant to even say that because you all know how that goes.

The day you announce that your infant has slept through the night for a week straight, he/she suddenly turns into 'the child who never sleeps' and doesn't sleep throught the night again for at least a year.

Or that child who has reliably peed and pooped in the potty for seven whole days with rarely an accident will suddenly forget that the toilet is even for other than attempting to drown her sister's cat the very instant her stupid, stupid mother announces to the internet that said child is on the verge of being potty trained.

So...I'm not saying that Olivia is on the verge of being potty trained.

I am saying that she's getting to the verge.

She understands the concept. She can hold her pee and then let it go at the appropriate times.

Two weeks ago we could take her to the toilet, sit her on it and she'd sit there for fifteen minutes, perusing a Woman's World at her leisure but wouldn't give up a single drop of pee. Three minutes after she'd get down from the toilet and be wearing a clean pair of underwear, the pee would flow.

Then, last week my mom tried again. And Olivia got it. We've been doing the 30 minute timer thing for now because she would tell us AS she was peeing but couldn't seem to get to use before the actual event.

But last week she would tell us very occasionally, "I pee." And she wouldn't be peeing, she'd just need to pee. For now, though, we're going to stick with the timer, just because it's working.

And away we go!!

As proof to the fates or Karma or whoever hates braggy, braggy moms that she's still in diapers for part of the day (naps) and all night, here's a picture of her taking a nap after a VERY hard day of playing at the sprinkler park with her sister. And yes, she's in ONLY a diaper, but it was hot, hot, hot this weekend.

And just because they're cute, my girls in their 'matching' outfits. Silliness abounds in our house.

PS No, Alyssa's hair didn't get brushed AT ALL last weekend. What of it?

Summer fun wears me out

Cutie Matchy

Cheesy Matchy

Posted by AandO | Comments: (3) | Permalink

LOSING ME

May 27, 2010 01:20pm (EST)

I accompanied Alyssa and her class to the zoo last week. It was really fun. The kids were great, the weather was gray and misty and yet the animals were active thanks to the lack of sweltering heat.

On the bus to the zoo, the mother of one of A's classmates turned in her seat and said to me, "I don't think we've met."

She put out her hand and I introduced myself, "I'm Alyssa's mom."

She smiled and said, "I'm Chris...Micheala's mom (maybe their actual names, maybe not

)

I smiled and said, "I'm Tommie."

I've thought about that moment quite a bit over the last week or so.

Yes, I'm Alyssa's and Olivia's mom. But I'm still Tommie. I'm still me.

But who is Tommie these days?

I'm Tom's wife, A's and O's mom. J's aunt.

I'm a sister, a daughter. I'm a friend, an employee, a co-worker.

I'm currently a house-hunter. I fancy myself a writer.

But...I'm not taking very good care of this me. I'm not getting enough exercise, I'm not eating right, I never get enough sleep.

Most (all?) of my time away from work is spent caring for my girls and my husband. I cook for them, I clean for them, I spend time doing things I think they'll enjoy.

I rarely do anything that is just for me.

And that's not fair. I wouldn't expect another person to give as much of themselves as I currently give to my family without taking at least some for themselves.

Is this an issue most mothers face? I think so.

Yes, my daughters are very young and so very demanding of time and attention. I get that. But I also know that eventually, this is all going to catch up with me and if I don't start taking care of myself and finding ME, I will hit a wall and at that point, I won't have anything to give to anyone.

So I'm embarking on a soul-search. I want to find a few things that give me joy. That make me feel good about myself. Whether it's exercising three times a week, or eating well for an entire day, or just sleeping past 7:00 on the weekends, I am taking ME back. I'm going to find the Tommie that isn't JUST a mother, JUST a wife, JUST a daughter, sister, co-worker, employee.

I'm going to reinvest in me so that I"ll continue to have something to give to those I care about so passionately. I'm going to care about ME passionately.

Posted by AandO | Comments: (5) | Permalink

AUTHORITY ALWAYS WINS

May 26, 2010 11:34am (EST)

Olivia understands authority. She gets that the giant people in charge of her care get to have a say over her actions.

What she's not quite clear on is whether one giant person can over-ride the decision of another, less complacent giant person.

Take, for example, her current desire to be sans clothes at all times.

I will tell her the minute I arrive home, "Olivia, leave your diaper on!"

She'll continue to attempt to remove the very diaper I've just demanded she leave on. I'll remove her hands from the tapes that hold the diaper in place and she'll put those very hands on her hips and say, "I'ma gonna go ask Grammy if I can take-a my diaper off."

I shrug and say, "Go for it."

Or just before dinner, she'll be asking for a cookie and I'll tell her that she can wait five minutes until dinner is ready.

She sigh, turn to leave the room and mutter, "I'ma gonna go ask Daddy if I can have a cookie."

Again, I don't fight this because Tom usually backs me up in my decisions regarding cookies before dinner.

This past Sunday, she came to me and said, "I want to play with Sissy's purple mermaid. She is my friend."

I said, "Okay, go play with her."

She retorted, "Sissy is playing with her but she is my friend."

I replied, "I am not taking a toy away from your sister just because the toy is your friend. Wait awhile and Alyssa will be done playing with her."

Evidently, O didn't want to wait awhile. She said, "I'ma gonna go ask Sissy if I can play with my friend."

She exited the room and I heard her say, "Sissy, I wanna play with that purple mermaid. She is my friend."

Alyssa gave her the mermaid.

How flipping sweet is that? I told Alyssa I was VERY proud of her for letting Olivia play with something she had first.

Alyssa shrugged and said, "I wasn't playing with her anyway, and she did say the doll is her friend."

Again, SO sweet! My big girl can be so mature at times.

So, while Olivia doesn't actually fight authority, she absolutely tries to circumvent it.

I wish her luck in her continued endeavors to get what she wants from the giants who care for her.

Posted by AandO | Comments: (4) | Permalink

EXPRESSIVE

May 25, 2010 11:20am (EST)

I received an email a few weeks ago from a lovely young lady at Butler University inviting our family to an Indianapolis Indians baseball game in an effort to get to know Riley Families as they gear up for the Dance Marathon this coming school year.

I read the email, intended to respond to it, didn't right away and it got buried in my inbox.

Last week Julie emailed me to ask if someone at BU had invited me to the baseball game.

Hmmm? Why, yes, indeed someone had. I REALLY should respond to this email. And I will, of course I will.

Then, a couple of days after that, Julie emailed me again and said that the young lady had emailed her again, asking if Julie could give her my phone number because I wasn't responding to email.

I know. I'm pathetic. I apologize to anyone who has ever sent me an email or Facebook thingy and I didn't respond. I do believe I've confessed to being a bad friend. I know admit to being a bad emailer/Facebooker. I am sorry. I can't promise that will change anytime soon, sadly.

Anyway, in the midst of reminding me of my rude email behavior

Julie invited me and the girls to come to Indy a little earlier than the baseball game and spend the day with her and Riley (and Rick, it turned out

.)

I hemmed and hawed because, well, it was a a Thursday, two days from the date of the ballgame and I have laundry to do on the weekends and the dishwasher was probably full and I needed to vaccuum and, and, and...

Then I decided, "Screw it, we're going to that baseball game and we're going to open gym time at Riley's gymnastics school and we're going to the zoo."

So I FINALLY emailed the BUDM gal and plans were set.

And it was awesome.

The girls had so much fun at open gym and the zoo, most expecially the splash park at the zoo

.

After the zoo, we walked a few blocks from the zoo parking lot to the baseball stadium.

Olivia actually walked the entire way. She'd say ever few yards, "I'm alright."

Then she'd ask, "Where are we going?"

I'd respond, "We're going to a baseball game."

She'd chirp, "Oh! I love baseball games."

This was her first EVER baseball game, but it was fun to hear her say that.

Riley and Alyssa got along like they spend time every single day together. They cartwheeled through some grassy knolls along the way to the ballpark. They rolled down the steep incline in the outfield seating area. They played "Butterflies" and tore grass out of the ground.

The college students who met us at the game were amazing. They were so attentive to all the kids. One of the girls ran Olivia up and down the incline letting Olivia 'be' a butterfly as they raced around.

It was fun and inspiring to see how much people can give of themselves to a cause they believe in.

Once again, photo credit goes to Julie, from whom I stole this picture RIGHT off her 365 Photo blog. I'm shameless. But it so perfectly captures the joy of the day with these amazing girls.

R O and A at the splash park

Posted by AandO | Comments: (2) | Permalink

FINE

May 24, 2010 12:29pm (EST)

Since we got O's diagnosis (was it really a year ago? Wow.) I've had a lot of people ask me how I'm doing. They want to know how the diagnosis has hit me. If I'm handling it okay. How are Tom and I doing in the face of this diagnosis?

I always say that we're fine.

Because we are.

Sometimes, I want to ask those who inquire as to our well being, "Have you met Olivia?"

Honestly, how could we not be fine with this child in our lives?

Like her 'normal' sister, Olivia bring nothing but joy (well, and never-ending frustration, but that's because she's three, not because she has a syndrome

) to our lives.

She is a constant source of entertainment, as evidenced by most of the entries on this blog.

Sure, she's going through a nude phase right now, while still not potty trained, which means not only is she a constant source of entertainment but also a constant source of pee, but hey, a little pee on the floor never killed anyone, right? Right.

I do know that caring for a special-needs child can take its toll on even the strongest of marriages, but on a day to day basis, Olivia doesn't take any more care than your average three year old.

I know there are people who enjoy train wrecks and who might be hoping for more trauma than there really is (I have a particular cousin who comes to mind

) but things are running smoothly around here.

Just six more days of school for Alyssa.

Life truly is good. We're incredibly lucky.

PS Photo credit goes to the incredible Mrs. Julie Lesh.

A and R at PU Dance Marathon

PU Dance Marathon

Posted by AandO | Comments: (1) | Permalink

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