My Jayden

shannon23 - 09:00pm Mar 27, 2008 EST

My Jayden was born on Dec 26th 2007 weighing in at 1lb 110z. He was born at 24 weeks my pregnancy was going good I was getting the progesterone shots so I thought that would help I didn't think I was going to have him that early. On Dec 26th I was having back problem I went in to labor and delivery they said I was dialated to 2cm my bag of waters was hanging out of my cervix. Then a few minutes later My water ruptured they gave me shots magnesium sulfate and it helped for about 2 weeks I was relieved I was unable to go home so I had to stay in the hospital on strict bedrest I felt confident well maybe we can make it to at least 32 weeks I was hoping and praying. It didn't happen the night before the 26th I had some bleeding and a few small contractions. The doctor came in and did a ultrasound and he found the Jaydens foot was sticking out of my cervix I said to myself no this cant be happening. They rushed in and put a catheter in and rushed me to labor and delivery and tried to lay me flat on my back to see if it makes a difference. My contractions I was barely feeling I started to bleed even more and then the doctor came in and said I don't think we can by anymore time. My heart dropped I was terrified I was just praying my Jayden will survive they rushed me to the operating room and they did a C section and after I woke up I went to see Jayden in the NICU he was a small little peanut with a lot of hair. He was so small and handsome now Jayden is 3 months still in the NICU he has meningitis in his brain and it is destroying his brain. This is just terrifying me the doctors say he wont make it I am just so upset because at first he was doing so good and now this. I just dont want to lose my son the doctors say its nmothing more they can do they tried everything every medicine and none has worked. I dont know what do do everyday that I spend with Jayden and everynight that I spend with him is a blessing. I just want more time to hug him, tell him I love him, smell him, change his diaper, give him baths, hold him and hold his hand, dress him and touch his little soft skin. I just never want to lose that I just wish things can be different for him I never thoughtt his would happen to him never.