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MY TERRIBLE LUCK WITH PLACENTAS

bnlmusicfan2

March 2010

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BABY NUMBER 5 WAS TAKEN FROM ME DID GOD THINK I WAS UNWORTHY OF SUCH ANOTHER BLESSING TOO SOON.... :(

Mar 05, 2010 04:56pm (EST)

Well, I started hemmoraging this past Saturday went to two ER cause I was scared to death of the amount of blood and I passing large clots, but the second er in sioux falls said the baby was not in the fundus anymore and to keep an eye on the bleeding and the baby was right above the cervix, so I knew in all my pregnancies that was NOT normal the doctor in Sioux Falls was in shock with the idea of me getting an abortion and I thought about it was because I ended up talking to my Peri. and they said was just a matter of time before the baby would pass in me or I would choose to end the suffering, but on Wednesday my Peri's ultrasound could no longer find the heart beat I ended up with a D and C to stop the large abount of bleeding, we didn't have to make a choice God forgave me and took my baby bean to be with my momma and grandparents, grandpa and mark's father. I was so scared of the amount of blood because I almost bleed to death with my past two pregnancies I have seriously decieded to look in to a tubal ligation. I thank you for all your support and wish you all nothing but heathly babies and happiness I shall check in frequently as you can tell right now I am hurting quite a bit WELL A TON!!!! So my crying can start out of the blue. Keep in touch.

Love,

Brittany Desiree

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FOUND OUT I AM PREGNANT WITH #5!!!!

Feb 11, 2010 09:06pm (EST)

I was so shocked because Mark and I were debating on who was going in to get fixed and my period was late and did many hpts at home and at that point all negative. So I AM VERY TERRIFED I am very early my HCG has doubled up to this one test so far so PLEASE keep me in your prayers as I thought I was done because I am terrified because I seem to always have problems with my placentas. I thought I was doing okay for birth control I guess not:(!!!! I am going to love this baby just as all my other children. Thank you for anyone who wishes to leave a comment.
Brittany Desiree

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THIS IS FOR ALL THE MOMMY'S WITH ANGEL'S, IT CAME FROM THE MOST INNER DEPTHS OF MY HEART, I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT....

Dec 31, 2009 11:04pm (EST)

I started it as my normal abstract but, it turned into this, I was touched, because I was thinking of you ladies and my mother as she passed away in 89 at 33 of breast cancer when I was barely 4 years old....
I esp thought of Lauren(Our Blueberry and Yolanda)

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SO WHAT IS THE DEALA YO WITH PROVERA....

Dec 30, 2009 04:05pm (EST)

So firstly let me apologize for my lack of updateage, so here goes SORRY

!! Well as for my title I got it to stop my lovely spotting of 36 plus days and to kick my period in the "ass" for a better lack of a term. I have started my FLOW BLOW PERIOD YESTERDAY I have been going through super tampons ever hour and a half or so!!!! I thought you were suppose to get your period after you stop the regime?? Sorry for the TMI but I am kinda worried but, the doctors told me not told me it is ok, but I find this a bit odd, any advice would be helpful.
Thanks,

Brittany D. O'Neill

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I HAVE TO GET SURGERY TO GET MY PARAGUARD (COPPER IUD) OUT DUE TO PAIN I AM HAVING , AND I MIGHT HAVE THE START OF AN INFECTION IN MY UTERUS BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID THING....:(

Dec 04, 2009 10:44pm (EST)

Well, I went into the doctor today to get removed and he couldn't get removed even with A HOOK!!!! When said to the nurse would you go get that hook looking thing, I knew that sucker wasn't going to budge.So now I have to do an outpatient procedure in the hospital that dialates my cervix, and I will be under so I won't feel the pain. But, my guess the sedation is that like of when I got a scope of my colon and my stomach. And to top it off I have some type of raging infection going on he said, not bacterial vaginosis surpisingly. But, there is other lab work that was sent out that won't be back till Monday or Tuesday I am guessing. I toldly regret getting this damn thing now....errrrrrrr. Oh, well we learn from our mistakes and or misforturns too. Hope you are all doing well and your little ones are giving you sleep.
Brittany Desiree

Please pray for me as I am scared as it is still a type a surgery.

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I THINK I AM GETTING THE HANDLE ON THIS LARGE FAMILY THING....:)

Oct 04, 2009 11:48am (EST)

Sorry I haven't posted lately. We have doing well, Irelynn is around 7 pounds. And Mark. Jr got transfered to the big boy car seat. So that made me happy just to have to use one baby carrier. Oh, I dropped Mark Sr. tool box that weighs like a million pounds and I broke a toe bone on the top of my foot, so I am suppose to be wearing this black boot thing, and since it happened after clinic hours it probably cost me a 100's of dollars. I have been trying to keep it on, I do keep it on if I am on my feet alot. They other day I took ALL yes I said ALL kids with me to my doctor's appointment and to Hy-Vee(grocery store chain in SD) with my boot on too. People were looking at me like I was insane taking all my kids with me to the store. I suppose If I saw that I would think that too. I took one of those carts that had a car in the front of it, so I was able to fit the big girls in the car and Irelynn in the cart and Mark Jr. in the seat in front of me. But, they did very well, and so well behaved

, I am so proud of me I did this with my fear of panic attacks and the big girls listened to me. Like when we went into Hy-Vee I carried M.J. and Irelynn in the car seat, and than the girls held hands and Jayden held on to Irelynn's car seat like I told her too. AND REMEMBER ALL WITH THIS STUPID LIKE 5 POUND BOOT....lol

. We also got a new coffee table this weekend, and I forgot to get corner silcone things to conver the sharp edges and of course he hit his head on the corner of it a couple of times, he loves to use it for scooting around. Irelynn has yet to get her first RSV shot yet so her baby shower cannot be planned until she gets it via, Dr. Smith our family doctor. I hope you all are doing well, sorry if my blogs don't pertain much to share stuff, but it is nice to blog to get stuff off my chest and me to look back and be proud of my self on how far I am coming in motherhood and my severe anxiety!!!!
Love and hugs from South Dakota,
Brittany O'Neill
P.S. The first picture is of the Jazarae and Jayden in their new nightgown(dresses to them;)) and their new hair cuts, which makes mommy happy cause it is easier to manage.
The other one is of all four kids together, and the last is Irelynn wrapped up in her special swaddling blanket, that has worked so well I bought two, but I really want to get the WONDER BLANKET, cause their don't have velcro like mine do, and they handle keeping her arms in a little better. The ones I have will do for now....lol!!!!

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MOOD UP AND DOWN....FORMULA FIGURED OUT....WE THINK:)....

Sep 23, 2009 06:36pm (EST)

So I haven't wrote in awhile. We have gone up and down on the Aliementum and now we are trying the Neosure, and I think the 20 cal, formulation is making her happy and she seems more satisfied. My mood is really playing with me cause I cant get rid of this baby weight mostly because of the Seroquel I am on. That is the side effects of it is weight gain and swelling, and so I feel terrible because I am normally like 113lbs to 120-5 lbs. And right now on my scale at home it says 158!!!!

So it makes me kinda well alot of depressed I cannot stop eating so much and craving sweets so bad (the Seroquel always does this to me, this is why I typing it as such), but it is a mixed blessing by helping me with my sever Post Partum Depression and Severe Post Partum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I know I can get down in my weight, but I need to do it the right way meaning, quit drinking Soda and eating so many sweets, and start exercising. I don't know how to go about exercising, cause the weight just melted off of me before after the kids were born, and I didn't/ couldn't gain weight for the life of me in the other kids pregnancies. I think I will start by taking small walks around our trailer court "loop" three times a day and drink water, and force the soda out of my mind, I really like Earl Grey Tea so maybe that will help my energy and caffiene fix in a healthier way than Mello Yello

. I know I will feel better once I start taking care of my physical self my mental self will feel tons better. I know I can do it I just have to stick to it and be gung hoe about it. I am a person that with issues like that I need to continue a routine and stick to it or I will not stick to it. Irelynn is doing so much better on the Neosure, Mark Sr. and I were noticing that the Aliementum was like it was "breast milk" for her, like it was too thin or something. Now that we aren't in the NICU we are able to affirm our suspicions with the fact she does way better on the 20 cal formulation of the Neosure. And sure enough I am getting her to sleep good 3 to 4 hour stretches with little resistance with her, and her eating about 2.5 3 ounces. Sorry to be so trivial but I don't know where to start on the weight loss issue. I am so happy Irelynn is thriving though. I have to take her in to a doctors appointment tomorrow with our PCP to talk about her formula switching issues and reflux type issues and make sure she is gaining enough weight and I am pretty positive that she is gaining weight, my little chunky monkey

!!!! I hope all you are doing well in share land, and I wish I were able to attend the the SU

. I am really ecstatic to have all my family home and together, and now we are in the search for a house, WE NEED THE SPACE SO BADLY, but is it weird that I am scared for such a commitment???? I am weird I guess. I pray for you all every night, and hope that what ever you need or want is given to you in some way, God does things in ways we will never understand is what I am coming to understand. Sorry for such a long post. Much love and big hugs from South Dakota.
Brittany Desiree

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SLOWLY ADJUSTING FROM NICU TO HOME.....:)

Sep 11, 2009 07:27am (EST)

Well, tings are going well, the Alimentum is the formula for us it seems, she seems so much happier and less gassy on it!! It is like a night and day change on her, THANK YOU LORD!! She was having really runny diapers when she was on the neosure, and she had so many dirty diapers her little bum was getting so raw to the point it was cracking in some parts, and she would bunch up and cry when I would use a wipe when it was that bad.

As far as feeding and sleeping at night it seems to be getting adujusted, we are just going to let her eat what she wants(amount wise) and when she wants. She is waking up about two times maybe times a night to feed. We are using the bottles still from what the NICU gave us until I am sure she is getting her full feed or close to her full feeds which is either 71 or 72 cc's I believe. So roughly 2 and half ounces. My mood is doing ten times better than it was 2 weeks ago, which is such a blessing in it self as well. M.J doesn't really seem to mind her until daddy is holding her or changing her butt, he wants to bat at her face with his hands, lol, silly little boy. The three older kids will go to daycare for another 2 to 3 weeks so I can get comfortable and adjusted with caring for Irelynn, than I will slowly get back into the swing of things in the terms of taking care of the other children. I am just so happy she is home now, but, we aren't allowed to take her out until her first Synagis shot, and that won't be until October sometime. We are just pretty much premitted to go to the Dr. appointments and Grandparents houses but, we have to limit those visits as well. Mark is really starting to house hunt, cause our three bedroom one bath trailer is not cutting it anymore for us anymore. So that is exciting but stressful at the same time because we are trying to find one here pretty quick and they seem to get sold fast around here pretty quick, and the financial aspect is another stress as well. But, other than that the older girls are super helpful in getting things for me like blankets and paci's for Irelynn if I ask which always helpful. I hope all you in Share land are doing well, I keep you all in my thoughts frequently and prayers.
Brittany and family

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TICKLED PINK, BLUE, AND ALL THE OTHER HAPPY COLORS INBETWEEN!!!!

Sep 08, 2009 08:18pm (EST)

Well, it is official Miss Irelynn going home tomorrow. Forgive my lack of keeping this post updated. Dr. Nold her Neonatologist told us not to bring her out until at least she gets her first Synagis shot, and that would put us back to October. Dr. Nold said and was firm on that, she said she is the mean "Guy" on this isssue.

But, I want what is best for her you know. She is bottling great I stayed with her last night, WHICH WAS A HUGE FEAT for me and my anxiety!!!! Praise GOD!!!! I think my post partum depression is getting a little better due to the fact my mind isn't racing a "million miles an hour". It was so bad all I wanted to do was cry, cry, and cry some more and just sleep and not want to get up for the life of me. Thank you Lord again for modern medicene and allowing me to see my "flags" in regards to getting postpartum deppression and ppdOCD. One day at a time is my mantra, I will be alcohol free for three years in December, man time goes by fast. Irelynn is bottling about 75 cc's every three to four hour(what a little piggy;P). Just so you know there is about 1 ounce for every 30cc's. I watched all the videos they make you watch before the baby goes home like infant CPR , car seat safety, and the never shake a baby video. And Irelynn had to stay in her car seat test for 90 MINUTES, they changed it since last year when it was only 30 minutes, but she had no bradycardia spells or any apneic either. She was a champ and slept throught the whole thing. I will post some pictures, and all the thoughts and prayers said during my pregnancy and after Irelynn was born is VERY much apperciated.
Love,
Brittany, Mark Sr. , Jayden, Jazarae, M.J., Irelynn:), and dog (Bridgette, aka thing that eats my carpet errrrrrrrrr....lol)
Below are picture of Irelynn I took of her in the hospital as of 9/8/09:)

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THE QUITE THINGS NO ONE KNOWS....

Aug 29, 2009 09:47pm (EST)

I think I am verging on the 'high' end of post partum depression. M.J.'s birthday was today, and all could really do at his party was cry and lay on the couch, And the very rude comments made by my parents' mothers' about me not a good mom not watching them, Well, I wish they could be in my FREAKING shoes for like two minutes, yeah the constant pain from my incision still being open and sorry for tmi draining is just totally the greatest NOT!!!! How can I love people that view my children being a burden, I really really want to watch my children, but physically and emotionally am not able to. I feel like two people right now, a depressed wanting to sleep all day and never wake up and very bitchy sorry for the language. I feel terrible feeling this way even more so I was blessed with another child, I have gone down much to see her much because of my ppd or I feel like it is turning into pp psychosis. Don't worry I am going call first thing Monday to get started back on my Seroquel. Please forgive me for being or seeing ungrateful, but I am sooo worn out I don't know what to do, I would rather stay away from her than have more scary thoughts and my other kids, I am such a BAD MOM, who acts like this. I want to be happy, but truly I am trying so very hard just trying to make it through my day so I can go right back to sleep. I am just one soul, but a soul that is blessed with four other little souls to take care of, but I can't because I am not feeling well. I am just sorry I am that they the kids have to see me cry alot, as they don't understand. How do I explain to a four year old that mommy can't play cause she wants to hurt herself than get out of bed and risk doing that?
Brittany
GOD PLEASE HEAR MY PRAYERS....MOM I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH PLEASE, BE MY LIFE RAFT....I WILL BE THE MOTHER I WAS SO CRUDELY PARTED WITH AT THE AGE OF THREE.
GOD PLEASE HELP ME....MOM I MISS YOU SO MUCH, WHY

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