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My little Prince and My Peanut Princess
deslindsay - 07:42am Nov 14, 2008 EST
In the year of 2002, it started off horrible by the loss of my Grandfather. I was so devistated because he was my knight in shining armor just like my dad and husband are. I had never dealt with death in my close family and I knew that I needed to pay tribute to my Grandfather if I had gotten pregnant. Well In May I found out I was pregnant. It was short lived. I miss carried at 12 weeks. Again feeling very devistated and depressed. After, having DNC and feeling depressed I had to go for a check up and told the nurse that I had not had my period. She asked me if I could be pregnant. I told her it was completely out of the question because of the miscarriage. She said, well after a DNC you are very fertile. So, we did a pregnancy test. Sure enough I was pregnant. I was so happy and knew I needed not to be depressed for the health of my unborn baby. I drove home to tell my husband who did not come with me, he was going to be a father. He was happy and shocked but set back. We were both very scared for what was to come.
Woohoo made it passed 12 weeks. We knew at this point our child was going to be born and I was soo happy. Yes, the things I was doing to keep my child in. Progestrone suppositories every day to make sure he is stuck to the wall. I knew I was having a boy. I knew that I wanted to name him after my Grandfather up to the date of talking to my mother. On Nov. 4, 2002 (my dad's birthday) it was confirm I was having a boy. My mom told me not to name him Francisco (my grandfather's name) or Carlos (my father). I really needed to think about this one. My husband did not want me to name him after him because he knew it would horrible for him. His initials spell SOL. What was I going to do?? Well I went to bed and woke up saying our family has so many name repeated and there is not a Christopher amoung them or even a Michael. So I decided his name was going to be that but the way I was going to spell would be different because I knew how to honor the men in my life with name him after all of them. Kristofer Michael Lindsay. If I interchange the letters there is Donald (hubby's grandfather), Shannon (hubby's name) Francisco (my grandfather) and Carlos (my dad's name) all in it. I have done it!!!
On December 4, 2002, I was home alone while my husband was out of town working. When I think I was starting contractions. I had never had them before. I thoguht I was just have cramps so I called my sister in law because she and my husband were working together. She and I talked and she told me to call this hotline and talk to a nurse to see what I should do. I called and the nurse told me to hang up the phone and call 911. I knew if I called 911 it would take over an hour for them to get to me since I lived in a rural place. So, I got into my stick shift car and drove myself with my contractions two minutes apart.
I got to the hospital and they were taking their time taking me to the maternity ward. They asked me how far along I am told them I am only 24 wks. Please help me and stop my contractions. The nurse gave me a cup to pee in and told her I could not. She insisted I try. I tried and only got like two drops out. She told me to lay on the bed and she was going to take a look. When I hear HOLY SH@T! I asked her if everything is ok and she told me the baby is crowning. My husband and my sister in law were driving over an hour away just to get to me. I called my parents who also lived about an hour away. I looked at the nurse and told her, Please get me to Good Sam's which is a hospital who can handle high risk pregnancies and I knew this small little hospital was not going to be able to deliver my bubble of joy. She told me I needed to wait but she would start finding out if I can get out of there. At that point my husband and sister in law made it. They moved me into a delivery room. I kept telling everyone I am not ready please send me to Good Sam's. The nurse said honey you need to calm down the AIRVAC is on there way but they are still 20mins out. I was like ok I can wait that long and be somewhere where I know they can handle this. The Dr(use that lightly) came in and he talked to me like I was a foreigner. I am going to get changed and then I will checked you. I was completely scared. Well... He changed and came in to check my cervix and said it to me really slow. They told him AIRVAC is 5mins out. He looked at me and said I am going to pop your water. POOF he popped my water. NO time for me to say no. No time to talk about it. After he did that I can no longer feel the contractions and I heard the AIRVAC land. The AIRVAC nurse came in and said WHO THE H3LL popped her water. Everyone said the dr did. My son's heartbeat kept going down with every contractions. They could not AIRVAC me now, I had to go into immediate surgery to get him out. AIRVAC was going to wait until I delivered to take my son to Good Sam's because they knew he would not survive at this hospital.
They put me on the operating table and gave me anethesia. I was under for the thought. I could hear them. I felt them cut my stomach open. I felt them pull him out. I heard them say he is not breathing. I heard them say breath. I heard them say he was dead. That is when I started crying and fell asleep completely. I woke up at 6am to have a nurse in post op to tell me my son died, but I already knew.
They had pronounce him dead but when they took my son to my family who was there, my husband and mother said that he was trying to breath and grasped their fingers. My mom, who is a devoted Catholic grab some holy water and baptized my son in my husband's arms. And my son died while being held by his father.
Once again I was devistated. Completely in depression where I thought I am never going to be pregnant again. I had no clue why my son died. The doctor did wrong. I knew it, the hospital knew it and he knew it . I tried to sue the hospital and the dr but no lawyer would take the case because they could not guaratee the viability of my son, being that he was only 24 wks and 1lb 5oz.
I was in a big depression until I had a dream of my son telling me I needed to get ready she is coming. A month later I found out I was pregnant. I knew I was going to have a girl. I knew she would be high risk.
I will make this one shorter...
This was 2003 July and I knew she was going to be born early just did not know how early. I was eight weeks when I went to the hospital because of bleeding and found out that I had a bicoriate uterus. Meaning I had a septum in the middle of it. I got my answer for my son being born. He thought he was nine months and had no room to grow.
My daughter and I had surgery on Sept 2 for a cerclage to keep her in my tummy since I had a incompenent cervix. I was not keeping anything down until Sept 19 when I had to have gall bladder surgery. On Nov. 5 I was put into the hospital because of pre-eclampsia and toxiema. My kidneys were so in failure they gave me two rounds of steriods trying to get her lungs to grow faster. On Dec 9th I was having double vision where they knew I had to deliver due to my conditions. They said we can not guarantee the baby we have to save you. I was strapped down for two days. On Dec 11. Ericka was born. She came out sunny side up and breech even though I had a C-section. I could hear her screaming trying to cry and I knew right then and there she was going to be ok. She was born at 27 weeks and weighting only 1lb 4oz. She fought off illnesses one right after another. She spent most of her first year in the hospital getting a Gtube because she was just using too much engery to breathe. She had 10 surgeries from having her broviacs to tracheostomy. And this was all before she was three. Ericka was in a respitory code for four and half hours. She was one of four kids who were on a experimental drug at that time. Nitric Oxide but she is the only who lived. She is my peanut and growing slowly but she is now going to be five years old in a couple of weeks, and she has surpass what all the dr's thought. She was suppose to be dead in their eye. They gave her a 10% chance of living and I said over my dead body. I am completely proud of my kids. I know they did wha they wanted. I know my daughter is a fighter. I know she is here for something.
I was taught well through this experience of life I have gotten in the last five years. I would do it all over again. I miss my son and I will always love him. But he sacrifice so she can be here. As I keep hearing over and over and believe there is always a reason for everything. That is for sure.
The doctor who delivered my son..... is no longer a doctor. He cut another baby out and the hospital had enough and revoked his license.
In the year of 2002, it started off horrible by the loss of my Grandfather. I was so devistated because he was my knight in shining armor just like my dad and husband are. I had never dealt with death in my close family and I knew that I needed to pay tribute to my Grandfather if I had gotten pregnant. Well In May I found out I was pregnant. It was short lived. I miss carried at 12 weeks. Again feeling very devistated and depressed. After, having DNC and feeling depressed I had to go for a check up and told the nurse that I had not had my period. She asked me if I could be pregnant. I told her it was completely out of the question because of the miscarriage. She said, well after a DNC you are very fertile. So, we did a pregnancy test. Sure enough I was pregnant. I was so happy and knew I needed not to be depressed for the health of my unborn baby. I drove home to tell my husband who did not come with me, he was going to be a father. He was happy and shocked but set back. We were both very scared for what was to come.
Woohoo made it passed 12 weeks. We knew at this point our child was going to be born and I was soo happy. Yes, the things I was doing to keep my child in. Progestrone suppositories every day to make sure he is stuck to the wall. I knew I was having a boy. I knew that I wanted to name him after my Grandfather up to the date of talking to my mother. On Nov. 4, 2002 (my dad's birthday) it was confirm I was having a boy. My mom told me not to name him Francisco (my grandfather's name) or Carlos (my father). I really needed to think about this one. My husband did not want me to name him after him because he knew it would horrible for him. His initials spell SOL. What was I going to do?? Well I went to bed and woke up saying our family has so many name repeated and there is not a Christopher amoung them or even a Michael. So I decided his name was going to be that but the way I was going to spell would be different because I knew how to honor the men in my life with name him after all of them. Kristofer Michael Lindsay. If I interchange the letters there is Donald (hubby's grandfather), Shannon (hubby's name) Francisco (my grandfather) and Carlos (my dad's name) all in it. I have done it!!!
On December 4, 2002, I was home alone while my husband was out of town working. When I think I was starting contractions. I had never had them before. I thoguht I was just have cramps so I called my sister in law because she and my husband were working together. She and I talked and she told me to call this hotline and talk to a nurse to see what I should do. I called and the nurse told me to hang up the phone and call 911. I knew if I called 911 it would take over an hour for them to get to me since I lived in a rural place. So, I got into my stick shift car and drove myself with my contractions two minutes apart.
I got to the hospital and they were taking their time taking me to the maternity ward. They asked me how far along I am told them I am only 24 wks. Please help me and stop my contractions. The nurse gave me a cup to pee in and told her I could not. She insisted I try. I tried and only got like two drops out. She told me to lay on the bed and she was going to take a look. When I hear HOLY SH@T! I asked her if everything is ok and she told me the baby is crowning. My husband and my sister in law were driving over an hour away just to get to me. I called my parents who also lived about an hour away. I looked at the nurse and told her, Please get me to Good Sam's which is a hospital who can handle high risk pregnancies and I knew this small little hospital was not going to be able to deliver my bubble of joy. She told me I needed to wait but she would start finding out if I can get out of there. At that point my husband and sister in law made it. They moved me into a delivery room. I kept telling everyone I am not ready please send me to Good Sam's. The nurse said honey you need to calm down the AIRVAC is on there way but they are still 20mins out. I was like ok I can wait that long and be somewhere where I know they can handle this. The Dr(use that lightly) came in and he talked to me like I was a foreigner. I am going to get changed and then I will checked you. I was completely scared. Well... He changed and came in to check my cervix and said it to me really slow. They told him AIRVAC is 5mins out. He looked at me and said I am going to pop your water. POOF he popped my water. NO time for me to say no. No time to talk about it. After he did that I can no longer feel the contractions and I heard the AIRVAC land. The AIRVAC nurse came in and said WHO THE H3LL popped her water. Everyone said the dr did. My son's heartbeat kept going down with every contractions. They could not AIRVAC me now, I had to go into immediate surgery to get him out. AIRVAC was going to wait until I delivered to take my son to Good Sam's because they knew he would not survive at this hospital.
They put me on the operating table and gave me anethesia. I was under for the thought. I could hear them. I felt them cut my stomach open. I felt them pull him out. I heard them say he is not breathing. I heard them say breath. I heard them say he was dead. That is when I started crying and fell asleep completely. I woke up at 6am to have a nurse in post op to tell me my son died, but I already knew.
They had pronounce him dead but when they took my son to my family who was there, my husband and mother said that he was trying to breath and grasped their fingers. My mom, who is a devoted Catholic grab some holy water and baptized my son in my husband's arms. And my son died while being held by his father.
Once again I was devistated. Completely in depression where I thought I am never going to be pregnant again. I had no clue why my son died. The doctor did wrong. I knew it, the hospital knew it and he knew it . I tried to sue the hospital and the dr but no lawyer would take the case because they could not guaratee the viability of my son, being that he was only 24 wks and 1lb 5oz.
I was in a big depression until I had a dream of my son telling me I needed to get ready she is coming. A month later I found out I was pregnant. I knew I was going to have a girl. I knew she would be high risk.
I will make this one shorter...
This was 2003 July and I knew she was going to be born early just did not know how early. I was eight weeks when I went to the hospital because of bleeding and found out that I had a bicoriate uterus. Meaning I had a septum in the middle of it. I got my answer for my son being born. He thought he was nine months and had no room to grow.
My daughter and I had surgery on Sept 2 for a cerclage to keep her in my tummy since I had a incompenent cervix. I was not keeping anything down until Sept 19 when I had to have gall bladder surgery. On Nov. 5 I was put into the hospital because of pre-eclampsia and toxiema. My kidneys were so in failure they gave me two rounds of steriods trying to get her lungs to grow faster. On Dec 9th I was having double vision where they knew I had to deliver due to my conditions. They said we can not guarantee the baby we have to save you. I was strapped down for two days. On Dec 11. Ericka was born. She came out sunny side up and breech even though I had a C-section. I could hear her screaming trying to cry and I knew right then and there she was going to be ok. She was born at 27 weeks and weighting only 1lb 4oz. She fought off illnesses one right after another. She spent most of her first year in the hospital getting a Gtube because she was just using too much engery to breathe. She had 10 surgeries from having her broviacs to tracheostomy. And this was all before she was three. Ericka was in a respitory code for four and half hours. She was one of four kids who were on a experimental drug at that time. Nitric Oxide but she is the only who lived. She is my peanut and growing slowly but she is now going to be five years old in a couple of weeks, and she has surpass what all the dr's thought. She was suppose to be dead in their eye. They gave her a 10% chance of living and I said over my dead body. I am completely proud of my kids. I know they did wha they wanted. I know my daughter is a fighter. I know she is here for something.
I was taught well through this experience of life I have gotten in the last five years. I would do it all over again. I miss my son and I will always love him. But he sacrifice so she can be here. As I keep hearing over and over and believe there is always a reason for everything. That is for sure.
The doctor who delivered my son..... is no longer a doctor. He cut another baby out and the hospital had enough and revoked his license.
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