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OUR ROCKSTAR RAEGAN

Raegansmommy

September 2010

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IT'S BEEN AWHILE

Aug 11, 2010 10:49pm (EST)

Whoa, an entry here is looong overdue and therefore will be a long one to make.

The good news: Raegan started walking 2 weeks ago!! It's so exciting to watch her doing so many new things, of course looking on in amazement and wonder at the miracle she has become! 18 months ago we were so unsure if she'd make it and now she's off (& almost running!). There are many small milestones that I take pride in watching her accomplish, like the day she 1st put a toy phone up to her ear & pretended to talk (June 16, 2010, lol), when she started to climb, blow kisses, or when she started to hug her baby doll:) She gives hugs to us all the time and her little hand will gently give a pat, the cutest thing ever! She has figured out she can suck just about anyone in by reaching out for them. Seriously, if I'm holding her in a store and someone else walks by, she'll extend her arms to them to see if they'll pick her up! So much for stranger anxiety! Raegan babbles like crazy & I wish I knew what she was saying:) She does say, Mommy, Daddy, and her new favorite, doggie, even when she sees a dog on tv she says it...other than that not really any words, she used to say Mimi (my mom) and baby. I don't know what happened to those words? She signs "more" and we're working on "give me", she points to things, although I wish it could be food that she points to!
That brings me to the not so good news, Raegan has been a very slow gainer. Back in May she had lost 1lb 3oz, in what I believe was only 2 weeks time. We had her pedi appt May 12th where she weighed 17lbs 4oz, then May 22 was her GI follow up and she was 16lbs 1oz. I couldn't understand it:( That day GI put her on pediasure and told us to really try to give her lots of fattening, fried foods. He wrote "failure to thrive" on the follow up sheet:( someone recently told me that is most likely for insurance purposes though. It baffles me and many others because she looks healthy, not chubby, but not malnourished either and she started out so small, she has already come so far.
At our follow up GI appt a month later they suggested an endoscopy, which I know isn't a huge deal, but it requires her to be sedated and I just don't think it will find anything. The possible diagnoses from the endoscopy would be celiac disease, more severe reflux, or gastritis, which she doesn't show symptoms of these...maybe the reflux is worse because I do occasionally hear something coming up that she gets back down. The blood work didn't indicate celiac disease, however, because of her hypothyroidism it might not show up with blood work. Ugh, I don't know whether to hope the endoscopy show something and actually be worth our frustration or not show anything and give us no answers, just that she's little.
She is on the pretty short side too, between the different appts measurements I am not sure if she's even 27" yet! Our families aren't tall so that wouldn't be a surprise. We did see a nutritionist and she pointed out Raegan's weight is proportionate for her length. Needless to say, at the last GI follow up a week and a 1/2 ago, the attending pretty much scared us into agreeing to the endoscopy. It turns out her dad and I heard different weights at that appt, I heard 17lbs 4oz & he heard 17lbs 9oz (her weight 2 days early at pulmonary was 17lbs 9oz), I hope he was right! So, the attending said some parents decide to go straight to the NG tube instead of endoscopy...ummm, back it up, WHAT!? Now you're telling me an NG tube??? She said they see her falling off her growth curve and they want to nip it in the bud now to help her brain development! I can't wait to hear what she says after the endoscopy.
I do know Raegan has so far, shown us she's not much of an eater:( 1st with her gagging, then not picking up foods for a while, now it's still frustrating because she doesn't want me to spoon feed her anything! She sees me coming at her & tries to jump out of her highchair! Some days are better than others

I try to help her spoon feed herself, it's still a learning process which will take some time. It's just amazing, because even first thing in the morning she is not devouring her solids:( Hopefully it will work out...I know it will, I just don't want her to go through tests when she just needs time.

On another good note, when Raegan had her early intervention reassessment, she barely still qualified for services! YAY, life will certainly be different minus that appointment! I will add some recent pics of my tiny tot, there are so many to choose from!
One includes our March for Babies walk, Team Raegan Kylee raised nearly $1,000!!

I just wanted to add many prayers to those babies struggling in the NICU, the NICU parents, and angel baby families <3

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Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (2) | Permalink

MARCH FOR BABIES!!!!!

Apr 11, 2010 09:22pm (EST)

Raegan continues to grow and act her age (or at least her corrected age which is now 11 1/2 months) more and more. She is now cruising along our sofa, to the end table, and along her activity table...she is crawling everywhere (this is the ONLY thing that makes me thankful to be in a small apartment at the moment). She likes to get into everything that she's not supposed to, like the bathroom, even though I clean it, it still creeps me out to have her crawling in there, lol! Her favorite toy is the remote control, which I usually don't let her play with, but on the off chance I allow it, it definitely looses most of its appeal. Yes, the more I tell her, "No", the more she wants to get/in it! I certainly love seeing her be able to get around and hearing her babble lots & lots, these past few days it sounds like she's saying, "baby" very clearly:)

She is still eating baby foods & cut up soft foods without gagging (most of the time), however, meal times have become quite a challenge. I have to sing all the songs I know to get her to finish a jar of baby food, in order to distract her from refusing it. Her position in the highchair has become an issue, as she doesn't sit up straight, but seems to be lazy (Gee, I wonder who she gets it from (not entirely me!)). She hasn't figured out to pick a small piece of food up & put it in her mouth. I now wonder if we should consult with an O/T. The S/T suggested we give her foods to chew on that don't break up easily, I don't think she has a problem chewing though. She has no problem if I place the little broken up pieces of food in her mouth!
Just like I was afraid of, her growth, or at least weight gain is slowing down (I didn't think to ask about her height, duh!). She had a GI follow up appt this past Mon & weighed 15lbs 14oz...only up 8oz from a month & 1/2 ago! I should've asked about her length though, because she looks proportionate to me (& other family members), even the Dr said she definitely doesn't look malnourished. I think she's just going to be small & grow slowly. He did up her calories to 24 (after we had gotten them back to normal when she d/c'd the diuretic) & they instructed us to give her fattening foods...we just found out she likes avocados!

She has a follow up with endo this Weds & I'm sure they will be more concerned about her growth, so I can't wait to see how that goes...

On a VERY good note, we have kicked off our MOD March for Babies fundraising!!! Fortunately our walk isn't until June 27th, so we still have time! Team Raegan Kylee is doing great though, especially with the help of our friend, Emily:) She works at a big grocery store in the area & we set up a table there today for a little bit. We got about $300 in 3 hours!!!! I'm confident that more donations will come in online & more family & friends will sign up to join our team within the next few weeks! I have been posting it on FaceBook like a mad woman & I plan on sending another set of emails out (then another after that:0)! It was truly amazing today to hear the stories of others with family & friends that were preemies, & we heard lots of people talking about heart defects.
I can't wait for our walk, it will be beautiful!!!

I'm posting a few pics of Raegan, & our MOD fundraising efforts. We made a great poster with some of her pics & a few facts that I found through the March of Dimes. I also designed our tshirts for the 1st time using photoshop & her actual newborn footprints (only smaller than they really were, which is hard to believe).

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Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (1) | Permalink

MY ONE YEAR OLD!!!

Feb 21, 2010 01:06am (EST)

Wow, it's so hard to believe Raegan has turned a corner with her eating and gross motor skills!
A couple days before her birthday she just closed her mouth with the baby food & has, for the most part, enjoyed it since

We are still taking it slow & will still have the consult with the speech therapist. Especially after tonight, she gagged on jarred carrots, then threw up the whole 1/2 jar & whatever else was in her stomach

I did not like seeing that, it took her a moment to catch her breath and after she looked so drained. Fortunately she didn't act like her tummy hurt her or anything when I got her all cleaned. She has had a cold for the past couple days, last night she was coughing in her sleep & I had to watch because it either sounded like she was going to choke or throw up. I know how it feels to cough that way

On a better note, she is somewhat mobile!! She rolls with ease, not exactly to get to a particular destination, but in combination with her sitting up and reaching for toys, lol, It's hard to explain...she turns herself in a circle while sitting up. It almost looks like she's going to scoot sitting up, but that wouldn't be the right way to learn. She does move her hands & it looks like she's trying to get down on all fours, but it's like it doesn't feel normal for both knees to be bent & together on the floor, so she's constantly sitting herself back up, hard to picture I guess. The PT was pretty amazed though with the change in just one week! Raegan also does well in the standing position while holding on to an anchor, she's still working on pulling herself up into standing, it'll happen soon! We definitely need to baby-proof!

So, the 1st Birthday Bash went well, not what I was hoping for (my family is never ready for parties, I've inherited that gene), but we made it through! I didn't get to incorporate all of my decorations, there were more people than I expected, and Raegan got her 1st boo boo! Curious little girl stuck her finger in a soda can while Daddy was holding her after she heard him open it!! I saw her do it & didn't think she hurt herself until she starting crying, then I swept her right up before I even saw blood! My fiance thinks that I panicked, but honestly I am not freaked out by that sort of thing & just was more concerned over my mom's reaction! She has become a bit dramatic when someone gets hurt

She eventually caught onto us when my dad, a call fire fighter & former emt, his fire fighter friend, & that's friend's emt-in-training wife were all hovering over us in the kitchen, lol! It wasn't life-threatening, but that's what happens when those kind of people are around & blood is involved! My niece took a good pic of the band-aided wound.
Raegan didn't make a mess with cake, which wasn't a surprise. She did so good overall though, she was so tired & just kept going without too much fussiness

We didn't get as many donations as we had hoped for, mostly new outfits, but we will have to make our own donation when our tax returns come back.
I have signed up for our March of Dimes walk, which is on June 27th. I am looking forward to building our team & raising some $$!! Hopefully it will be a beautiful day, I already know we have one of the best routes, along the Cape Cod Canal, because I had walked it before with my former employer! It was awesome then & I can't wait for this year!!
Raegan's new baby boy cousin got to come home 2 weeks ago! We had a visit & he is doing great! So cute! It was funny, we were taking pics & sort of had the baby on Raegan's lap, well, I got some good pics of her pushing him away!! OMG, I'm telling you, she is going to be something else!
We had her infant follow up appt & she did ok. It did last 3 hrs! She was found to have a mild delay in the areas they tested and is at a 7-8 month age developmentally. I wasn't too surprised by the results, I know it's going to take her some time to catch up & she is definitely on the right track!
I almost forgot that Raegan had her last Synagis dose yesterday. She got weighed beforehand & I was a little concerned that she was the same as the week before, 15lbs 6oz. The nurse said it was fine, she had gained a pound since last month. I can't help but feel a lump in my throat. She was weighed every single day in the NICU & no weight gain over 1 day was a little concerning, so of course I am going to be worried about 1 week! I thought she had been eating better, then low & behold, no weight gain? Hmm...guess I'll just have to wait until the next weigh in...Her daddy was saying that she has been starting to move around, but I just don't see how that tiny bit of movement can expend that many calories & cause no weight gain? We'll see...

Thank you for caring & reading! We can't wait for the Spring to get out there & really have fun!!

~Kelly

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Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (2) | Permalink

GETTING TEETH!!!!

Jan 29, 2010 11:04pm (EST)

So, seriously, where does the time go?! Raegan is a little over one week away from being a whole year old!! It's so exciting & a teeny bit nerve wracking to be planning a party. The theme will be flowers and I have taken it upon myself to be make some decorations, embellish a tshirt with rhinestones, and make the birthday crown. We are, thankfully, having the party at my parents house. Our apartment is much too small for this sort of crowd! I don't think there will be too many guests, but I'm sure it will seem like a lot on that day. Raegan asked for donations to the NICU in lieu of gifts on her invitation, if people would like to do so, we have so many toys here, I really don't think there's room for anymore!
I am so happy that she finally has some teeth coming through

it's the 2 on the bottom. She really hasn't had the signs, just kinda making funny faces, lol, and not very much drool. She hasn't been more fussy than usual either. Her sleeping habits did change over a month ago & I thought maybe it was teething, but now I've doomed myself because I just bring her to bed! I always said I would NEVER do that, but it's the only way we can get any sleep & she sleeps soooo good with us

I want to sleep train her & let her cry it out, but our neighbors can hear her I'm sure. I found some no-cry methods so I'll have to try waking her up in the morning to try it for tomorrow, I have to make sure there's enough time in the day to get in all of her bottles.
Speaking of bottles, I had to leave a message with the pedi asking if we'll be keeping her on formula at a year, otherwise I need a special form for WIC to keep covering the formula. Well, he left me a message saying we can go ahead and try the whole milk at a year and I just don't know, I don't think she's ready, but I guess I should do more research on that too. She's still not eating very much for solids, not closing her mouth and gagging IF she does close her mouth without me giving her the binky. I have many questions for her pedi at her 1yr check up! I did mention the whole feeding problem when EI came for her re-assessment and was told they would contact their speech therapist for an evaluation, that makes me glad and eager to see what she says. I also can't wait for our appt with the infant follow-up program at Children's next week. She'll have a team of Dr's evaluating her developmental progress and from what I understand we should expect to be there for 3 hrs. Our schedule has been full of appts lately! I fine with that though, I know it could be so much worse!
Miss Raegan is working hard on being able to put herself into the sitting position. She's getting there and I can tell she really wants to move around, so I haven't totally given up on the possibility of her crawling yet! Sometimes it's hard to be around babies her age that are doing so much more, but I just have to stop myself and think about how far she's come and how absolutely incredible she is, my little miracle!
I almost forgot to mention that Raegan has a new cousin! He was born on 1/4 and unfortunately has been in the special care nursery ever since because of poor feeding/weight gain, we are hoping & praying he gets to come home within the week! I've been telling his mom that no matter how different our stories are, it is unnatural for a mom to be away from her baby for even a day! It's okay to break down about it, you need to cry & just get it all out.
At almost a year old, Raegan weighs in at 14lbs 12oz! A far cry from her birth weight of 1lb 2oz! YAY RAEGAN!!!
I also forgot to mention that Santa brought us a new camera! It's a DSLR and I love it! I do have a lot to learn about all of it's functions so I think it may be time for a photography class:)

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Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (4) | Permalink

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Dec 15, 2009 10:40pm (EST)

I'm so excited for Raegan to celebrate her 1st Christmas!! It probably won't make much difference to her though, and I really shouldn't be buying her too much!! I know she'll be bothered by all the dresses I have for her, lol. The way she's been lately she'll most likely just poop on them! She has a new habit of going #2 like 5 times a day now and almost once a day it explodes out of her diaper. I thought maybe it could be a result of teething, but she's not getting teeth yet. She had also been waking up during the night, still no teeth. No drooling, no elevated temp, I thought her gums might be swollen but not so much...I'm sure she's sick of me rubbing her gums to feel for any changes! Poor kid!! The symptoms started like 3 weeks ago now & she doesn't seem ill so I haven't consulted the pedi about it, I'll know they'll just tell me she's fine and it has something to do with her eating solids now.
She's still not digging the solids though, barely gets a jar a day! I mix it with cereal & formula, have also tried it plain, or just mixed with cereal, or cereal & water...lol, all the combinations but she still gags!! The 1st few times she had sweet potatoes she did fine, same with bananas, but the next few times she had it she gagged. I have to give her the binky right after she gets a bite so she doesn't gag! It's been well over a month, I thought she'd be used to it all by now, oh well.
Developmentally she's doing ok. I'm pretty sure she's getting behind with the gross motor skills, though I haven't asked the PT, but she will be getting reassessed through EI in January. She's still doing well sitting up on her own, not without an adult close by yet! She hasn't rolled onto her tummy but comes so close, it doesn't help that she has 2 stubborn parents so that's where she gets it from

Yay to her tolerating a teeny bit more time on her tummy before flipping over!! LOL. Raegan seems to have pretty good fine motor skills and loves to use her hands to work toys. It's kinda funny, she constantly has them going, especially when she gets excited! My mom got her the Baby Einstein exersaucer which has a musical toy on it, well it's a riot (& sometimes annoying

) that she constantly hits it to get past the sounds & words until the song comes up, then she just stops & listens! I've been kinda dancing to it each time so now she does it over & over looking to me to see my jig, finally she's starting to copy it though & I got a short video of it tonight:o)
Omg, Raegan does this thing now that she arches her back & makes a growling noise when she doesn't want to be sitting in the carseat or stroller. So, I called her the exorcist baby & of course realized the "Exorcist" character's name really is Regan! Well, I guess she's living up to her name

I have to remember to strap her into her stroller now! I'm telling ya, once this child gets moving, I know I'll be pulling my hair out! She's very determined:)

So, back to Christmas...Raegan got her picture with Santa & did great. No crying, she was just very serious. You could tell she was just thinking, "what's up with this guy?" LOL. I put one of the pics on our Holiday card. I'll post the pics, they weren't the greatest, but had to do, with all the cards I wanted to send out, quickly. I've been writing notes on the backs of them, sent one to the NICU & just wanted to say so much to them! I love all of them & really want to work there someday!!

Wishing you all blessings and peace during this Holiday Season and into the New Year!

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Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (3) | Permalink

9 MONTHS OLD

Nov 08, 2009 11:33pm (EST)

So yesterday Raegan turned 9 months old and I really can't believe it! I especially can't believe that in 3 months she'll be a year old, I know it's going to go by quickly, doesn't all of childhood go by so fast? How can I slow it down?

It was almost a year ago that we got really the first initial scare with our pregnancy. I have to keep remembering the call I got soon after I arrived to work that day. The MFM counselor was telling me there might be something fatally wrong with my baby. Yes, I had problems with my pregnancy & I was so afraid after that call, but we made it through everything. We are so blessed and Raegan is so perfect! I have to keep remembering because if I forget any little detail I will lose who I've become and how we've fought to get here.

Raegan has her 9 month check up on Wednesday and I can't wait to see how much she weighs! It has been like a month since her last weigh in, our last VNA visit (yes, we took full advantage of them!). I'm sure she'll be about 14 lbs

I started trying cereal with her the day she turned 6 months corrected, lol. I didn't check with the pedi, but I know he'll give us the go ahead anyway. She's not too onto it, so she barely gets much, but I know it's mostly about getting her used to the texture. The texture she doesn't really enjoy

the 1st time she gagged & the next couple of days I thought, "hey, she's getting used to it!", but then she goes from gagging one day to doing alright the next...hopefully she'll like the veggies & fruits better than plain ole cereal! To tell you the truth I don't blame her because a little got on my finger & I tasted it, it left the worst aftertaste in my mouth!! YUCK!! It must have something to do with the extra calories still in her formula though.
She'll get her 1st RSV shot on Wed., still not sure if they'll have the H1N1 for her though.

Oh, yeah, we had a great Halloween! Raegan got a chance to wear both costumes, no trick or treating, just showing her off to family! She had a very busy afternoon though & I can't imagine what Thanksgiving & Christmas will be like, but can't wait for the excitement too!!

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Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (4) | Permalink

FORGETTING OUR FIRSTS

Oct 22, 2009 11:52pm (EST)

Pretty crazy but it occurred to me a couple weeks ago, after having told my future MIL that the newest cousin due in January will get to share a first St Patrick's Day and Easter with Raegan. Ummm, HELLO, Raegan already had her 1st of those holidays, in the NICU. I'm sure I'm not the only NICU Mom to forget, briefly, an important 1st holiday like that...I just didn't, at that time, associate such a holiday being spent in the hospital, but rather at a home, with family and friends.
Boy are we already starting to celebrate out 1st Halloween though! It's so funny, quite a few people have gotten her Halloween clothes! I even have received 2 sets of duplicates!! Little Miss Raegan will also be wearing 2 costumes (not by my choice!). I had bought her a unicorn costume on a whim, didn't think I'd find a more cutesy, baby costume. Then, we went to BRU with Grammy & she had to buy her something! She got a pink poodle costume for Raegan, I just figured I'd return the unicorn, but when I brought the poodle home for her father to see, he said he wants her to be the unicorn. LOL, I didn't know he was so attached to it, so that is how we have 2 costumes!

Raegan's head tilt is seeming to work itself out! We are now working on her head control while on her tummy. She doesn't like to stretch out her neck to look up, mostly uses her arms. On a good note though, the PT says she has great control while prop-sitting. Especially when she has to shift her weight to move her hands or look to the side, she balances herself back out!
Raegan did such a good job during her ultrasound! She slept soundly during the 1ST 1/2 hr of it!! What an ordeal, we waited for about an hour to get it, then the tech had trouble because it was a new machine, so a Dr & student came in to assist. Meanwhile, Raegan had woken up & was hungry, so I had to give her some of a bottle while she was laying down! She was NOT happy and neither was I when we were then an hour late for our next appointment which was the surgery follow-up. At least that short visit gave us good news that her ovarian cyst looks to be only follicular now, which means it has shrunk! No more follow ups with surgery!! YAY!! We haven't heard about her kidneys, so I assume they are not quite clear & we continue with the diuretic.

Our next Dr visit is with the pedi on 11/11 at which point she'll be 9 months old!! I know we'll get the ok to start cereal but I can't wait to try so I think I might next week because she'll be 6 months adjusted. At the appointment we'll also be getting the RSV and I am going to inquire about the H1N1 before hand, I'm almost positive I want her to get that vaccine. I know it's of much debate, but I wouldn't forgive myself if she contracted the virus and it could possibly be avoided, kwim?

Some Halloween outfits pics, a make shift bow made helping our auntie at the laundrymat, & my newest favorite outfit (black & white skirt)

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Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (6) | Permalink

HERE WE GROW!

Oct 05, 2009 10:36pm (EST)

Little Miss Raegan is up to 12lbs 4oz as of last Wednesday, that's over 11 times her birth weight!! She has also doubled in length and is 22 3/4" long!! She gets cuter and cuter everyday if that is even possible:) I could just stare at her face all day long, knowing each second is an absolute blessing.
Developmentally she is growing so much too...she is laughing more and more, especially at me and my kookiness! We are working hard with the help of physical therapy through Early Intervention to gain better head control. It seems like every week she alternates the head tilt, which is baffling the PT a bit. My response is that of course my child is exceptional! LOL! She doesn't last too long for tummy time and has learned how to roll onto her back! Our PT always has different exercises for Raegan to do, the one we have to do this week is to help her look down at her feet while she's lying on her back. She'll be discovering those tootsies soon! Raegan is also starting to sit up unassisted!! All the learning within the first year of life is just amazing, I always knew that, but watching your own child advance and grow is so priceless

We've continued with our follow-up appointments, two last week. The first was with Endocrine for her Hypothyroid. Her levels remain just enough to need treatment, which the Dr said they will now mostly keep her on the same dose of Synthroid through at least the next year and they still want to see her every 2-3 months. The 2nd appt was with pulmonary. They will continue with her dose of diuretic and we have an appt for an ultrasound tomorrow to see how her kidneys are clearing of the calcium deposits. That ultrasound will also check the cyst on her ovary to make sure that is shrinking. Right after the ultrasound we have an appointment with the surgeon about the cyst. I am confident that it will not need intervention.
We have switched Raegan to the Good Start formula and she is handling it wonderfully, aside from more frequent dirty, messy diapers and a little more gas, she no longer gags/chokes and hardly spits up

I am thinking that we will try solids in about a month, so exciting!
Oh, how could I forget that my Fiance and I actually went out for dinner last weekend! It was the 1st time I've left her since being home. I wasn't too bad, I knew she was in the great hands of her Auntie & Grandma. I still kept checking the time though, as I said we'd be home by 10pm! I felt like I was waiting to get out of work, lol!! Of course she was sound asleep when we got home even though I wanted to give her lots of love!
I have made a note to self; Do not comment on the lovely baby bump of a preggo woman because I will just get told that I had it easy. I didn't have to go through the rough, uncomfortable parts of pregnancy...I'll just leave it at that, even though the comments keep going over in my head! I know most of you understand the craziness...
Now what you've all been waiting for, pics of my princess!!

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Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (5) | Permalink

RIP BABY GRACE

Sep 28, 2009 11:05pm (EST)

I mentioned in an entry that I was in contact with a mom online who was also going through complications with her iugr baby. Sadly, that mommy lost her precious angel, Grace, in utero the other day. :'(

I stay up late and noticed the email at 1:30 in the morning. She didn't deliver until 24hrs later. I can't imagine how her heart aches, like so many of you mommies here. You know that loss all to well. I directed her to Share. You ladies who have experienced that loss have given me so much support, with my live baby, it leaves me in awe of your strength...she's gonna need wonderful women like you. She's taking some time to let it sink in and let the healing process begin before coming to any forums and I respect her decision, but really hope she can come here to be able to have a little release.

It is hard to be able to know what to say and I am sorry about that. It's almost like I haven't ever experienced the loss of a child, not even a miscarriage, so maybe I shouldn't say much at all. If the roles were reversed I wouldn't want to be talking at all to a mommy that could have her baby in her arms. I would be filled with too much sadness and anger. But from reading some of the angel mommies blogs here, I see that you all struggle every day and I really appreciate you following Raegan's story, routing for her...Thank you so much<3

I feel bad that I gave them so much hope. I really didn't think it would be possible for this to happen! I was telling her that the next journey (NICU) would be so difficult, It didn't occur to me that this would happen. The worse possible outcome, the journey no mommy wants to take. I am praying every day for Grace's Mommy and Daddy!

It sure does make me hug Raegan so much closer. I will update on her soon.

Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (6) | Permalink

HAPPY TEARS

Sep 10, 2009 10:49pm (EST)

I don't know if it was the Grey's Anatomy reruns (didn't get to watch last season, we were in the NICU) that got my emotions going or just watching the smiles on Raegan's face, but the waterworks really flowed tonight. I love this child so much and so many prayers have been answered with her, she is so beautiful, we are so blessed!
Witnessing her growing is more than I could ever ask for, though she may be behind in developments, it will all come together in it's own time and I have a little extra to enjoy the Mommy & baby moments that we missed out on for 144 days.
Raegan does seem to be doing more and more each week! She has had a tiny laugh every now and then, she does it when she wants to, but my mom got her going this past week! It was awesome, all she was doing was tapping on the table with her hand and talking, well, Raegan thought it was a riot!! I work so hard to get this girl to laugh, and that's all Mimi has to do is tap on a table?! Raegan did surprise me the night before, I had the hiccups (so did she) and I realized she chuckled after one of 'em! Figures, the first time I don't want the hiccups to go away, she's letting out a giggle after each one!! LOL:-) She's also been swinging her arm, as if flapping a wing, hehe...we noticed she only does this with the right arm though and ya better watch out, she's got some power! We joke that she's hitting, lol (for anyone with toddlers that is not funny). She's got some strong legs too & loves to be "standing up"...I really can't wait for her to roll over, never mind sitting up! She did roll to her side and I thought she'd really go, but nope. I'm wondering if I can request PT twice a week?
We love to hear her make noise and it's not obnoxious one bit, lol! She likes to have screeching contests and uses her cute little voice quit often:-) There were a couple days where, I swear, she made the "kissy" noise after I taught her and when prompted and asked to many times, but now she's like, "I don't know what you're talking about"!
We went with my future sister-in-law today to her ultrasound and it was so nice to be on the other side of that machine, able to enjoy my new found perspective of the process! She's 22 weeks today and goes for monthly ultrasounds to check cervical length. I saw one of the counselors that had sat in with us when we had to listen to the Neonatologist (after the only 1oz weight gain Raegan had within 2 weeks)....she was sooo happy to see us! My story came back to her slowly and it was funny to watch the reaction on her face! We tried to have the peri that treated us paged, but he was in the OR, maybe some other time!
I hope that counselor can use Raegan as an example to other parents going through this kind of situation. Like I've said before, if there's anything our story can do, I really hope it help's someone else!
Here are some updated pics! She's 11lbs 8oz now, gaining slowly, but nothing to be concerned about!

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Posted by Raegansmommy | Comments: (5) | Permalink

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