The should've beens...

Thinking about my due date approaching was very difficult for me. I, too, thought constantly that I should still be pregnant with Sofia, really fat also, ready to pop, getting ready to have another baby, etc. I think we've all gone through that, it sucks really bad, I really don't know what to tell you to get through it better. I think it's something you just have to go through, and then it passes. Try to do something on the day, to make it about your girls, I think that helps. Do whatever you want, really if you can't get out of bed that day, then so be it. Just do what you need to, to get through the day. I know the days before my due date were actually a lot harder than the actual day. We tried really hard to make it a peaceful day. We did the best we could, and just got through it. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, it is difficult, but just try to blog it out, and we'll try our best to be here for you.

Kelly

I am so sorry that you are having such a tough time as your due date approaches. I know that many mom's on here have done something special on that day to remember their angels. I hope that you are able to face that day and know that they are watching over you.

Katie

My heart aches with you. I know how dark the should have beens make the days.

Somethings I did (and still do) when I feel overcome with the should haves and what ifs, I literally shake my head to get the thoughts out. I know sounds a little nutty but it really works! I am also the post it queen and would write down what I wanted to think- that my daughter was beautiful, I love her etc.

I'm glad you posted on Share. That has provided me with the greatest release. Like Kelly said, sometimes just blogging it out allows me to let go.

I will be thinking of you,
Lauren

Lisa~

I don't know of a way to get rid of them, but I know that I was "ruled" by the "what-ifs" for a long time. Sometimes they still sneak in 6 years later to make me wonder... I just finally had to say to myself that the "what-ifs" would kill me if I just let them.... I hope that time will ease these for you. The firsts are always hard and forever will be, but the sweet memories will always make you smile for a minute.

Tracy

I'm so sorry you are going through this as your due date approaches. I remember how hard it was for me too and all the thoughts rushing in of what should've been. I agree with Kelly's post, maybe do something special for your girls that day, it might help ease some of the pain or do whatever you feel you need to do, when the day comes, you will know. I believe I blogged on Share that day and sometimes just talking about it and getting things off your chest can calm you. Just know that we are always here whever you need a friend to lean on.
I'll be thinking of you and your precious girls.
Hugs,
Trish

Thank you everyone for the advice!

I didn't celebrate my due dates, but I do celebrate my babies birthdays. I think it makes it easier for that lil bit of time to celebrate the life we did have with them. I'm not saying it makes it any better, because I do cry and miss them so much, but I refuse to not have a party with me, my hubby, and daughter for the babies we lost. Every holiday I include them in some way, even if it is just decorating their graves

found that the month before my due date to be really tough and i also had a sister in law who gave birth to her baby boy in that month which added to the pain. i found this tiem to be even more painful then the time we lost my son.

This year will be full of painful 1st - 6th march 2009 was my due date- the actual day was not as bad as the previous month. did cry and i got out my sons treasure chest and i looked over his photo's, i read poems that i had written for him and i listened to the music we played at his memorial day - it helped.

am so sorry for your loss and i hope that you find a way to cope as your due date approaches. Take care
Chris

Lisa,

I am so sorry that you even have to think about this and that you aren't holding two happy, healthy babies in your arms right now. Be gentle to yourself on this day, if it means that you don't get out of bed then so be it. If it means you go shopping, go shopping. I have always been told not to 'make any plans' on that day because you never know how you are going to feel. Good luck, Lisa and I will be thinking about you on this difficult day.

Love, Kelly

MY SON WAS BORN IN MAY OF 2008 BUT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BORN IN SEPTEMBER AND OF ALL THE THINGS TO HAPPEN THERE WAS MY SISTER IN LAW PREGNANT AND DUE AT THE END OF AUGUST AND THEN I HAD 2 FRIENDS WHO WERE DUE IN OCTOBER AND NOVEMBER AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH SEEING ALL THESE NEW BABIES HURT BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WAS LONGING FOR BUT I STILL FEEL THAT WAY WHEN I SEE BABIES AND PREGNANT WOMEN I THINK THAT SHOULD BE ME BUT IN A WAY I THINK THAT'S NOT MY DESTINY THAT'S THEIRS. EVEN WITH THE ONE YEAR MARK OF HIS PASSING COMING I HONESTLY HAVEN'T GOTTEN OVER HIS PASSING OR THINKING HE'LL BE 2 MONTHS BUT I DO THINK IT DOES GET BETTER EVERYDAY. JUST TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME IS ALL I CAN SAY. SORRY AGAIN FOR YOUR LOSS