need friends and advice!

Hi There, and Welcome to Share! I'm so sorry you feel like you are going through this alone. Hopefully, now that you have found Share you will know that you are not alone - many of us have traveled the road you are on.

I would assume that the touching issue is related to how delicate Lydia's skin is at this point. My daughter was a 25 weeker and her skin was nearly translucent. The NICU nurses told me that I had to touch her VERY gently because too much touch was painful to her at first. I would put my hand in the isolette and touch her hand and sometimes she would grab my finger which was like getting a tiny little hug from my tiny little baby. But I couldn't caress her or hold her for nearly a month, it was just too rough on her.

The thing I was told to do was to talk quietly to her in a soothing voice. As they told me, a baby is used to hearing your voice from the womb and so that sound alone can be comforting. We used to read my daughter a story every night before bed and I talked to her a lot during the day. I can't honestly say, I know what it did for her, but it helped me to think that it did!

And most drs will tell you that your baby should come home around her due date, as long as there are no major complications. Obviously this varies in every case, but our daughter came home 10 days before her due date.

I know things are hard right now and you feel lost, I remember those times. But know that they will pass and there will come a time in the near future where you can pick her up and hold her and it will make it all the more special. So keep your head up and do what you can do!

Good Luck,
Jackie

Hello,

Jackie has given you great advice but i wanted to welcome you to Share too. I hope you can find comfort with the other moms here. My daughter was a 29 weeker at 2 lbs 9 oz. We couldn't hold here at first and only touching her gently. For some reason the top of her head was less sensitive so I could rest my hand on the top of her head while she was in the isolet. When I finally got ot hold her I was so nervous and it hurt to have to wait so long. The NICU is a roller coaster ride and I am sorry that your family is not there to help you. Pleae keep your head up maybe you can meet other moms in the unit?

Take care,
Ellen

Welcome to Share and congratulations on the birth of Lydia!! I agree with Jackie in that sometimes, they're just overly sensitive to the touch and she'll settle down when she gets a little more body fat to "cushion" those touches. I'm sorry that you're feeling alone, but I hope that things will go well for Miss Lydia and she'll be home to keep you closer company soon! Please keep us posted...

Tracy

Congratulations on your little girl, Lydia. I am so sorry you are having to go through the experience of the NICU. I also agree with the other moms, Lydia's skin is probably very sensitive.

My daughter was born at almost 33W and weighed 2lbs, 13oz, not much bigger than your Lydia. I believe holding her will depend on how stable she is. We were very fortunate, our daughter was stable from the beginning and my husband was able to hold her within an hour or so of her birth.

The NICU is extremely stressful and overwhelming. I hope Lydia's stay is short and she is able to come home soon.

Please keep us posted.

Take care,
Cathy

I can most def. relate to you and have been there. I have had a 28, a 31, and am currently in the hospital with baby #3 in preterm labor now going on 30 days. Having a preterm child is very difficult and even though things may seem like noone else knows how u may feel, I know exactly what it feels like to b e NICU mom, a feeling of helplessness not knowing what or to take care of your baby. I found a alot of valuable information in a book called "preemies" and your hospital library may have it available for check out. If I can help or you just need to speak to someonefeel free to email me at any time.

I'm new to the site but not to being the mom of a preemie.

It's very hard for but once you find your place as a NICU mom, you adapt to the fact that you are mommy in a different way than most, but still a mommy.

Remember that sometimes not touching them is how you can protect them. There were many days that I'd come in and be told "not today, he's having a hard day". I'll tell you one thing, nothing beats the day I was finally able to hold him. It was over 2 months after he was born - the wait was worth it!!!

Welcome to Share, Emily and a big congratulations on the birth of your daughter, Lydia! I must agree with many of the things that have already been mentionned. My heart aches for you for being there all alone and not being able to hold Lydia just yet.

My daughter Katelyn was born at 32 weeks. She despised touch! I think the women above are correct that the baby is just not ready for touch at that gestational age. She was in the NICu for 2 1/2 weeks before we were able to hold her. That being said, you have to remember that each baby is different. Lydia may not be ready to be held for 3 weeks. Like CarriAnne said... not touching them is how you protect them.

That day will come, honey so just hang in there. That day will be one of the most memorable days in your life, so make sure to have a camera ready for the nurses to snap those shots!

Love, Kelly