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What should I expect now?

Allison129 - 08:39am May 1, 2009 EST

So, I was hoping to be writing posts on the the trying again page. After the loss of my precious Max a little over two years and the break up of my relationship--i met someone new and we became pregnant--Only to find that seven weeks later there was no "heart beat".

So I have miscarried but my body still thinks I'm pregnant. I have had no bleeding or signs of anything. I am just waiting for something to happen. I have the option of a D&C but that scares me.

Also--i was told to wait three cycles before we try again.

What should i expect when i pass the tissue? When?? How long? if anyone knows what this is like please let me know.

Are D&C's a good option? I am nervous to have anything touched like my cervix..

I am feeling pretty strong. I just miss my baby Max. This brought that back more. My little guy.. and now this. I guess I can't ask why...and man am i getting old... 36...feeling defeated but still going...

Akeelah's Mommy - May 1, 2009 8:51 am (#1 Total: 7)

A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts.

Allison,

I don't have answers on what to expect. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you. I was so very sad to read this in your blog.

You are in my thoughts,
Lauren

Grace's Mom - May 1, 2009 9:17 am (#2 Total: 7)

^i^D'Lon Grace^i^ ~ Forever 3 ~ Missing you every second of every day!

Hey Allison,

I am glad you are feeling strong. I wish I had answers for you, but I have no idea. I have suffered a miscarriage, but I didnt even know I was pregnant at the time. I hope that it happens without medical intervention for you as I understand your concerns.

Take good care,
Yolonda

crazylee53 - May 1, 2009 11:43 am (#3 Total: 7)

DNC not so bad!

Hi! I never had a miscarriage but I ddi have to have a D&C. After delivering my twin girls at 22 weeks due to an infection I had to have an emergency D&C to remove the second placenta (it would not detach). There are some benefits to having a D&C. First you have some closure about when and how everthing will happen. Also, the doctors can see everythingi n you and afterwards are able to give you more information about what happened and or that everything looks good to try again in 3 months. Not sure if this helpful- but my thoughts are prayers are with you! - Lisa

TrishloveTristan - May 2, 2009 8:39 pm (#4 Total: 7)

Allison,
talk to your doctor find out when its a good time to start trying again. You are NOT old! Max is looking over you and sending you his love. Thinking of you
Trish

Katelyn'smom - May 12, 2009 12:37 pm (#5 Total: 7)

Allison,

I also do not have any advice on what to tell you to expect, but did want to post and let you know that I am thinking of you. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult this has all been for you and all of the memories of Max coming back from your miscarriage. Keep being strong and seriously best of luck to you!

Love, Kelly

krissy4 - May 15, 2009 2:39 am (#6 Total: 7)

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this heartbreaking loss and are refacing the heartache of losing your son Max.

I do not have any experience with a DnC.
Although i have not experienced a natural miscarriage, last year i lost my son at 19 weeks gestation after being medically induced due to my son having Anencephaly, in my experience 7 months after, my body is not the same and my normal cycle has not return it is all over the place which may be why you might have to wait 3 cycles before trying again.
My close friend had a miscarriage last year at about 10 weeks and she was able to naturally pass the tissue and did not need a DnC, it took a very long time and was extremely painful - so the up side to a DnC may be that you will recover quicker.

sorry that all this wasn't much help but just wanted you to know you are not alone. am very glad that you are feeling strong at this time. Best wishes
Chris

Valerie Nelson - May 20, 2009 5:35 am (#7 Total: 7)

Mommy to angel Caitlyn Greenleigh, 26.5 weeker

Hi Allison,

I'm so sorry for this pain you're going through. My daughter died from complications from prematurity nearly four years ago, and when my husband and I found the strength to try again two years later, I miscarried twins at 11 weeks. My body also thought I was still pregnant - that, alone, was difficult to deal with, and the memories of losing Caitlyn resurfaced, as well. It felt like a double-blow, and all of the feelings of "unfairness" (how could we lose three children??) and "what should have been" came flooding back. I did choose to have a D&C and thankfully had a very easy recovery. But both the wait for the surgery and the time after were difficult to "sit through" which is really all one can do. We waited three or four months to try again, and (again) thankfully and luckily, I delivered a healthy baby at 39 weeks. We just celebrated his first birthday, and it's hard to believe so much time has passed so quickly.

Of course, all of us here know that things don't always work so well. There isn't always a happy ending. It's so hard to accept that what we want might not be what we get. But, please know that you can and will find the strength to have hope - I think it is that hope that helps us get through the days. It doesn't have to be the hope that we will have the exact type of family we always dreamed of, but for me, it became the hope that I would find a way to make the best of my experiences and embrace the ways in which I had been changed. I hope that makes sense. (smile)

As you "sit" in this difficult time, know that we are all here. You ARE already finding that strength, and you are NOT old! (smile)

Hugs,
-Valerie

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