March of Dimes

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CARA'S FERTILITY JOURNAL

cbell95

March 2010

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ANXIOUSLY WAITING FOR THE DAY

Jul 20, 2009 11:18pm (EST)

Thursday, I will be going in to have my blood drawn for my pregnancy test. My husband wants us to take a home preg. test but I don't want to jinks it. I want to wait for the results from the blood test. This is our last infertility cycle. We are really praying for some good news on Thursday

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (11) | Permalink

TODAY'S THE DAY

Jul 09, 2009 09:49am (EST)

My husband and I are waiting right now for the doctor to call us in. Today I wore a pink shirt (for a girl) and blue panties (for a boy). I am soooooooooooooo confident that this is going to be our cycle. I can just feel it in my soul

. My husband wore blue jeans (for a girl) because he doesn't wear pink. Today is going to be a great day.

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (9) | Permalink

WELL, THIS IS ALMOST IT

Jul 08, 2009 04:52pm (EST)

I went in for my last ultrasound today and my two follicles measured 18.9 and 19.2 in size. I received my HCG shot this morning around 7:30 and my left ovary is starting to omit slight pain (4:45 p.m.) I have painful ovulation pains so I'm hoping that I ovulate tomorrow morning before I awake so I won't feel too much of the pain.

Our appointment is at 9:00 a.m. I've taken off from work tomorrow so that when insemenation is complete, I will able to go home, relax, and elevate my body so our swimmers can reach their destination faster

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (6) | Permalink

COMING DOWN TO THE WIRE

Jul 07, 2009 06:27pm (EST)

Sorry I haven't posted. I've had a lot of things on my mind since July 2, 2009.

Well, I went back in on July 3, 2009 to have a "different" nurse check me out. Well from the previous exam I had several follicles, (2 on the left and 2 on the right) one of them measuring 16.2

on cycle day 7 (which was odd) that was seen by Nancy the "elderly" nurse. During the new exam, Shirley (the good nurse) discovered that Nancy was not measuring a 16.2 follicle

but that she was measuring a 16.2 cyst that was left over from last months cycle

. On top of that they're aren't any follicles on the right ovary at all

And you can clearly see the difference between the follicles and the cyst. So Shirley, during the exam was trying to figure out what the HELL was Nancy looking at besides the cyst. I even saw with my own eyes on the monitor during the exam that the only thing on my right ovary is the cyst and nothing else. So instead of having 4 possible follicles, I'm now down to 2 follicles on my left ovary.

Well, Monday July 6th was another exam day for me and my 2 follicles were 16.2 and 16.4 in size. I had a negative ovulation test yesterday and this morning so I will be going in tomorrow July 8th for a last exam and to receive my HCG shot to start ovulation with insemenation being done on Thursday, July 9th

.

I will keep everyone posted.

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (9) | Permalink

A DOUBLE VISIT

Jul 02, 2009 05:40pm (EST)

Today during my ultrasound, the RN found two follicles. One on the left ovary and one on the right. This is only day 7 of my cycle and one follice is at 11.2 and the other is at 16.2. When the RN was measuring the 16.2 follicle she said, "huh, this is only day 7 and this follicle is already a 16.2, that doesn't seem right." Now this RN (don't get me wrong) is "Old" enough to retire. So since she isn't sure of "her jugement

"I have to go back in tomorrow morning to do another ultrasound. During the ultrasound she couldn't find my left ovary, she was asking me questions about the cyst that "she" found on my right ovary (the one "she" told me about last week). She also asked me how old I was while she was talking about the cyst

. During my ride to work, thinking about this morning, I started to get worried. When my husband asked me about the visit when I got home, OH MY GOD

this is how the conversation went:

So what did the nurse say? Well when I ran down the whole scenario, his next question was, "Was it that (OLD ASS NURSE). When I said "YES" he went through the roof

So to make a long story short, when "WE" go in tomorrow morning, lets just say that "HE" will be requesting a different nurse (Shirley whose been wonderful to us throughout the treatments). His exact words were "I'll be damned if we're at our last attempt at having a child and you get a nurse that F*$%'s up. This is our last cycle, we don't have room for error. She may have been a good nurse, but she's not the nurse for you. I need someone checking you out that knows what they're doing." My husband was soooooo mad he went jogging to calm down and I went to sleep to keep from crying all over again.

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (13) | Permalink

ANOTHER ULTRASOUND

Jul 01, 2009 11:33pm (EST)

Tomorrow I will go for another ultrasound. I'm trying to stay positive throughout this cycle and hopeful but I also can't help but think about this being our last cycle. I have a lot of mixed emotions right now. I just don't know what to do. I keep praying and telling myself to leave it in God's hands but it's just so hard, it's just so hard.

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (7) | Permalink

JUST WHEN IT COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE

Jun 27, 2009 06:01pm (EST)

This morning I went in for my ultrasound. To my surprise, I now have a cyst on my right ovary (11mm in size)

This will be our last round of infertility.

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (10) | Permalink

STAYING POSITIVE

Jun 26, 2009 12:52pm (EST)

I would like to thank all of the women that have commented on my blogs. You do not know (or you probably do know) how much your kind words are helping me get through this difficult infertility ride. I know we've all been down the same road and we all understand what each other is going through. So for your kind and caring words, my husband and I are truly greatful.

I believe that I cried the longest and hardest this cycle than any other cycle (and Michael Jackson passing yesterday really took me over the edge, I loved him

and he will truly be missed).

Staying positive, my period started this morning and I called my doctor like I'm suppose to. I will be going in tomorrow morning to start our next cycle. I've been thinking positive thoughts all day while calming my husband down because he is still fuming

from yesterday's test results. I'm working on getting him back in a positive mood

so that we can go into this next cycle with hope and not disappointment.

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (4) | Permalink

NEGATIVE

Jun 25, 2009 02:23pm (EST)

"Sorry honey, your test came back negative. Call us when your period starts."

That's what I heard this morning during my phone call with the nurse who had my test results. This is what I've heard every month for the past 2 years.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

When my period does start, my husband and I will be going through our last cycle of MenoPur shots. If this last cycle doesn't work for us we're done!

I'm tired of hearing people say, "oh you're trying to hard" or "you need to relax and don't worry about it" or "it's going to happen when you least expect it" or "are you sure you're doing it right" or my favorite one "are you sure you want kids, you can have mine." Of course all of these comments are coming from women who have had children already. Women who didn't have problems having children. Women who are suppose to be my near/dear friends.

I just know what else to do.

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (11) | Permalink

ONCE AGAIN TOMORROW'S THE BIG DAY

Jun 24, 2009 09:24pm (EST)

Well, the time has come again for me to take my blood pregnancy test. Tomorrow is going to be filled with so many emotions. Our chances of having a child is slowly coming to an end. This is the 6th insemenation cycle for us and we only have one more to go before the doctor suggest IVF which my husband and I can't afford. I've noticed that I don't fell sick until I eat something. This has been going on for the past couple of days. I hope this is a good thing

, because this is the only symptom that I have to go on.

Posted by cbell95 | Comments: (8) | Permalink

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