I just can't stand it!

First of all i'm so sorry for ur loss. Second of all, I want to tell that i was so moved by what u wrote because i've already and still feel what u're going through and it's nearly four months since the loss of my daughter. I still feel that there's something missing in my life i'm not the real me anymore. I also avoid seeing a pregnant woman or talking about pregnancy and now i'm killing myself to get pregnant again maybe it will bring me back some of what i have already lost.
The reason that i'm writing this is because i want u to be strong to be able to face life with an open heart to be able to see beauty again that's exactly what i'm trying to do to get over it.
Don't feel guilty u should be proud to have an angel waiting for u and looking down on u.

May.

I know the holidays are tough when your arms are empty and I hope you find a way to get through them any way you can.

In regards to your friends, what if you just copy this post and send them an e-mail? That way you can do it on your own time (when you are ready) but it still lets them know why you have pulled away. In all fairness there may be some who want to be there for you but don't know how. So an explanation might at least give them a place to start to understand what you are going through.

Obviously you need to do what feels right for you, and that's all that matters right now.

Big hugs,
Jackie

I think Jackie has a good idea about sending them email or if you know when they are at work, perhaps you could leave them a voice mail. I am sure they want to be supportive and don't know how.

Please do what will make you feel better (even if it is just a little bit).

Please take care.
Ellen

I just want to let you know that 14 months 12 days later I still feel alot of what you are feeliing. Once I was honest with my friends and let them know where I was at in all of this and I where I needed to focus my energy, most of them understood. I did however lose one really close one, but I guess it just come with the territory.

I wish I had the magic words to uplift your heart, but no such words exist and even if they did, it would only be a temporary fix. Please know that we are here for you ready to offer you nothing but support, comfort, and understanding.

Hang in there,
Yolonda

Oh honey I'm so sorry, but I so get it. My daughter would be this coming January 17th. The holidays make it that much tougher. Like Yolonda said, if you explain to your friends most of them will understand, but sadly through this you sometimes find out who your true friends are.

Just remember that right now you need to take care of you. Your dealing with one of the hardest things imaginable and I hope you keep coming to Share. We're always here.

Thinking of you,

Kelly

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I gave birth to a son at 24 weeks in July (Due October 29). He lived for 9 days. My best friend was pregnant at the same time, with her baby due 5 days later. Two other women I work with were also due about the same time. They all have children now.

I definately know the feeling of not being able to around pregnant women and not being able to feel happy. I was petrified to go to my post-partum exam because I couldn't bear to see all those pregnant women in the waiting room. The thing is, all my friends and coworkers understood intuitively as well. They are moms after all. They were all so careful around me and never talked about babies or pregnancy unless I brought it up. I suspect your friends understand as well. Everyone needs to grieve in their own way and you should try not to feel guilty. People who love you will still be there when you are ready.

I do think that time must take away the most raw pain. It's been 4 months since my son died, and I still cry everyday, but it's getting easier. I can now hold my friend's babies and be happy for them. And I smile when I think of my Sam. I hope thinking about how strong Gavin was will make you smile a little too.

I hope you find some peace this holiday season and in the new year.

Hang in there-
Shannon

There is no book that can ever be wrottem explaining the correct way to deal with the loss of a child.. Their is no correct way!! Everyone grieves in their own way and I can agree with almost every point u made it's been a little over. Three years and there are day I still feall that way!! Christmas is difficult just know you are not alone... We are all here for I to say I are not strong I don't believe that... As a mommy to an angel u are strong u are still here and ur post will help others and for that u are very strong..

So sorry for your loss. Our little girl was born on July 31 at 23.5 weeks due to PROM. She was stillborn. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I was unable to talk to anyone except for my parents and husband for a few weeks. I had my mom explain the situation and keep in touch with my best friends to let them know I appreciate their concern but I just needed time alone. I also kept in touch via text messages as it seemed a little easier than "talking" about it. Just take your time and be gentle with yourself.

Hugs,
Carrie

Thank you to everyone for your kind words. Some days are better than others. That day I had been holding it in and finally the dam burst. I am sad that communities like this have to exist because I would never want someone to go through what I want through, But I am glad to know I am not alone. I appreciate everyone of you and I wish you all the best. I hope your holidays are filled with happiness.
-Kay, Bernard, Logan and angel Gavin

im so sorry for the loss of your angel...i can completely relate to what you have written...it has been 11 months since i lost my beautiful baby boy and i still feel much of what you do...i still cant bare to be around anyone who is pregnant...hear or talk about other peoples pregnancys...i cant even watch anything on the telly thats to do with it...it reminds me too much of what ive missed out on and long for....i have pushed so many people away and also learnt who my real friends are...i dont feel like the same person i used to be either.....i think the email is a good idea....i just want you to know you are not alone in how you are feeling,im here if you need to talk...hugs...chantelle xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Thank goodness for the women on this site that told me that when I first started blogging about losing my baby girl. When I returned to work about a month after losing Addie, within a few weeks there were four women who announced they were pregnant. I too wanted to hide and hated having to go to work each day. I just kept to myself - selfish or not - because I was hurt and seeing them hurt me. You have to do what is best for you and not worry about what others may think. In time, you will be able to visit with them and move forward but for now, be gentle with yourself and let yourself off the hook.

Prayers to you and your family.

Cindy

I know how you feel. I lost my son Brayden at 23 weeks on Dec.21. I am completely devastated as this was our first child. I cry everyday, I isolate myself because sometimes it feels like I just cant be happy. I don't like going to the mall, grocery etc. because all you see is kids and babies and pregnant people. I cant even look at anything on tv with a baby or pregant person in it. I am broken. But I continue to meditate and pray and that gives me strenght. I will pray for you and know you are not alone. We all hurt we all have undescribable pain and you are not alone! God Bless You!

I am so sorry for your loss! I know how it feels, I lost my girls at 23 weeks in December of 08. All I can say is that that the pain does get more manageable. You are able to get through each day a little easier as time goes by, and then you do get hit with a really bad day and feel like you have to start all over again. But each time this happens the recovery gets a little better. It is now over a year later and I still have some really bad days. I think the pain never goes away it just gets easier to put it into heart and deal with life. We are broken and have been changed forever, but it does get better! As for my friends who were pregnant at the time, most of them understood and the ones who didnt arent true friends. My one friend was due two weeks after me and i still have trouble looking at her son - it just makes me feel so sad for my girls. The pain can be so raw at times. I am looking forward to participating in the walk for babies in April in honor of my girls. It feels good to have some control over something. Just know you are not alone and all your feelings are natural. Sending love and hugs - Lisa