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WELCOME, GUEST |
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(3 members)
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liyahs0236 |
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red366 |
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Almost three weeksstacyat - 07:17pm Dec 19, 2009 ESTAlmost three weeks ago I lost my sweet baby girls Emilyn and Hailey after going into preterm labor at 20 weeks and 4 days along on November 30, 2009. I thought I was just having Braxton Hicks contractions until after three days they went from one every few hours to every ten minutes. I went in after only having contractions that often for one hour, and when the doctor examined me I was already 4-5 cm dilated and Emilyn's amniotic sac was poking out. Eight hours after arriving at the hospital my sweet baby girl Emilyn was born and survived for just 59 minutes. An hour and four minutes later Hailey was born and lasted for 2 hours and 1 minute. They were perfectly healthy, nothing was wrong with them except being born too soon. Hailey was still kicking around inside me for the hour she was there without her sister. We have footprints, handprints and pictures but it is not enough, I want my babies back but I can't have them. People tell me, you can try again and have another, is that supposed to help? Yeah, I'm sure I can have another, but right now I just want them. I may not have known them well outside of me, but I did know them while they were inside and felt them moving around. I've heard it gets better, and it has seemed to for a day, but then I'm right back to where I started with empty arms, no babies, and no explanation as to why, just that it happened.
Akeelah's Mommy
- Dec 19, 2009 9:40 pm
(#1 Total: 5)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Welcome to Share. I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your sweet girls Emilyn and Hailey. Those are such sweet names.
All the children in the world could never fill the whole that is left by the passing of our little ones. They will always, always hold a most unique and special spot in our hearts and our lives that all the days in the world could never erase.
I'm thankful you have found your way to Share, a truly amazing place to find support and comfort.
My thoughts are with you,
Lauren
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Angel Love
- Dec 20, 2009 10:41 am
(#2 Total: 5)
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Looking forward to seeing you at Shareunion October 1-3 in Atlanta, GA!! |
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Welcome to Share! I'm so sorry about Emilyn and Hailey's passing. I know the heartache of losing a daughter myself. You're so right, they have huge personalities even while they're growing inside of you so you have "known" then much longer than others realize. Those who say things like "you can have another" don't know what to say and unfortunately they don't think about what they're saying before they open their mouth either. The heartache will never go away...they're your children...but you will learn ways to remember them and live with their memories that you can tolerate. Days will come when you can even smile at those few moments that you got to hold them. Hang in there...until then, remember that you're only required to take one breath at a time. Best wishes to you and your family and you're in my thoughts as Christmas approaches. Tracy 
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Ethan's mom and dad
- Dec 21, 2009 4:46 pm
(#3 Total: 5)
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We're right there with you (Nov 19). I told my wife I hope to just be able to to survive daily. We will never get over our little Ethan. They took pictures also (the pics are beautiful). She just made a little christmas tree for his grave. No one that hasn't been there can ever understand. Did the hospital try anything for your girls or did they just give them to you like they did with our boy? We are so sorry. Nothing can ever replace our babies.
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stacyat
- Dec 21, 2009 8:40 pm
(#4 Total: 5)
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Yeah, they gave us five pictures they took close up of the girls. They're not professional pictures, becasue they don't have that service on Guam, but I think they're my favorite pictures of them since they don't look so tiny. We've cremated the girls and are going to keep them with us for the time being. We will be moving around so much, no where would seem right to bury them, we never know how long we will be there and I would hate to bury them and not be able to go and visit and take care of their grave. No, they didn't try anything for my girls. The doctor came in and talked to us when it looked like my labor wasn't going to stop and explained to us what was going to happen though. Being a nurse though, I already knew what was going to happen, though I was glad I didn't have to tell my husband myself. The hospital in Guam doesn't have a NICU in it, the nurses there though are trained to stabilize a preemie to air-evac it off island to a hospital that's a 3 hour flight away. I was told by my doctor well in advance that even 26 weekers with twins stretch them to the limits, though they can take care of them. While I wish my babies could be saved, I'm glad I was able to hold and cuddle them until they went to heaven instead of laying on a table being poked and prodded with various medical instruments.
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chantelle (baby ashleys mummy)
- Dec 22, 2009 11:27 am
(#5 Total: 5)
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im so sorry for the loss of your angel twins...i know your pain as i lost my son 11 months ago...im sorry that you have also had to listen to insensitive comments from people who dont understand...people who havent been in our shoes just dont know our pain...no matter how many children we could have our heart will always ache for our lost angels...we are still never going to see them grow up,experience all their firsts with them...we miss the future we had planned out in our heads and that should have been...makes me angry that people dont understand....im here if you need to talk..hugs..chantelle xx
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