I need help....

I'm glad you are seeing a counselor - it can't hurt. I'm so sorry you can't sleep. Sleep is my escape and I sleep 10-12 hours a night and often take a nap. I have been trying to see friends, but every time I visit with someone I have to take a nap for a few hours. It's like my brain can only deal with this for so long at one time.

One thing that is helping me is making what I am calling a memorial box. I love scrapbooking and would have been preparing baby books by now if my boys had lived, so I decided to make small memorial books with the ultrasound pics, the hand and footprints, and pics taken at the hospital. I am writing letters to each of my sons saying all of the things I imagine they would have asked about when they got older, like what I craved during pregnancy, which of us they looked most like when they were born, stuff we planned on doing. I bawl my eyes out with each word, but it helps to have it down on paper rather than rattling around in my head. It feels like I am developing the relationship with them that I will never be able to in life. I still desperately hope that we will someday have children, and I want them to know their brothers in a positive way. I don't know if something like this would help you or if you are up to it, but it has been an outlet for my grief and having a tangible memorial is comforting to me.

what upsets is when people you know treat you like you are going to have a nervous breakdown.All i want to say is :i am okay today: but they walk around you like your an ice cube.I miss her in every way,i know i will see her again.I just want more of being able to hold and smell the new baby smell.I try looking at the bright side of thngs.But it's so cold and glomy out it's hard.Am looking forward to being able to see her when we get her stone.It won't be the same though.