Question for "survivors"

Dear Shannon,

I am sorry for your losses and I cannot imagine how you feel right now. Since I have not lost a child, I have never been in your shoes but I would say do what makes you feel comfortable. If you want to talk about it, do so and if you prefer not to I would do that.

I hope your return to work goes smoothly.

Ellen

Hi Shannon,

I have loss a child, but I was a stay at home mom for 3 years prior to her passing. I have yet to re-enter the workforce and I could not imagine having to so soon after your loss. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I dont.

I pray that your transition back to work goes as seamlessly as possible.

Take good care,
Yolonda

I have to also return to work in 2 week's. I work in health care and i am not sure how to handle it either when everyone knew you were having a baby.I think day by day and you have to take each one with a new step.Look at the bright side of everything even though it will be hard.I pray going back wll be easy for you and also for me.Hang in there.

Going back to work... ugh. It's not a fun step, but can be another place to find good support.

I went back to work about 4 or 5 weeks after my daughter passed away. In that time I had learned that for me I needed to get out in front of the news instead of being ambushed by people. I felt most comfortable telling people that it was ok to talk about my daughter as I was most hurt when she was ignored.

It's a very personal decision how you want to handle it- especially when there are students involved (I also work with kids).

I hope the transition is a smooth one for you.
Lauren

I went back to work 2 weeks after my son died. I work in a pharmacy and some of the patients had known I was expecting. One woman came up to the counter and asked me how the bun in the oven was doing. I told her about how he was born and only lived for 2 hours. She started crying and said how sorry she was. I felt so bad for making her cry. For me it was hard to talk about it, but there was not one person who was negative about it in anyway. They were all reassuring. I guess depending on how you feel around your students, it is up to you how much you want to share. I think that even at that age they are concerned and caring when it comes to your feeling. But I am sure they are also curious. Good luck. And I am so sorry about your little one.

When I went back to work everyone knew, but no one knew what to say to me. I opened up conversation to help them feel comfortable, and by helping them it helped me. If know one talks about teh elephant in the room, the elephant is still the room, and you will cry. Aeryn has been gone now for a little over a year and I still cry frequently, allow yourself that. Take frequent breaks. I wanted to just pour myself into work and make it go away, and one person once told me if you have a beach ball and you keep trying to push it down in the water the harder you push it down , the faster and harder it will come back up. Take care of yourself and know you are not alone. God Bless

Thank you! Your post is so helpful. I love the metaphor of the beach ball. I am an English teacher, so I think I can use that explanation to help my students understand the situation. Thank you a million times for posting. It's incredible how little it takes to make me feel a bit better about this situation. I guess when you are this sad every glimmer of hope is a spotlight.

I am also a teacher, but my students are elementary age. When I returned I let them know that I appreciated their thoughts and prayers for me, but that I needed them to understand that sometimes I might be a bit sad because I missed my little girl. I explained that she was born too early and was very sick so she is not in Heaven and that I miss her a ton. They took it very "maturely" and continue to be understanding. As I work with older children, they know that they can ask me questions if they need to, but they also know that it's been several years since my loss.

Tracy