Black Hole

Oh no! I was hoping to hear more about good days. It's hard to start a new month without them, though, isn't it?

I did it to myself . I did enjoy going to bunco, but seeing that newborn go to me, and reminded me of everything that me and my girls are going to miss out on doing together. Him getting hungry and her nursing him is what started it.....such an awesome bonding time that I will forever miss out on with them.

Oh Stacy. I am sorry the newborn got to you. That is another thing that I hate about all of this, it is so hard to look at and appreciate newborns in your case, and 3 year old little girls in mine, for the beautiful little blessings they are. Instead they are reminders of what we dont have and what we are missing.

Hoping today is better for you!

Hugs,
Yolonda

Thank you Yolanda. Yeah, I really do hate it. I used to love newborns, holding and cuddling with them. They are such sweet little beings, but wow can they cause so much pain now. Today was a little better (I live in Guam so my day is just ending), and I'm hoping that tomorrow is a little better than today. I hate that losing my children has also made me lose my love of other babies as well. I hate that we have to go through this, no parent ever should, it's just unnatural.

Stacy

Aw, Stacy, I'm so sorry. I was in a similar situation last night, being around a newborn baby boy. It's a painful reminder of the losses we have suffered.

I hope today is a better day for you; be good to yourself!

Many many hugs to you my friend... This is such a long journey.

L

Thank you Lauren, hugs, even virtual ones, help so much (I'm sure you know)!

I lost 2 at 27 weeks. They both survived for matter or hours, but knowing you arent coming home with them makes it even worse. But for me, the worse is when I lost my 2nd one, a week later I found out my sister was pregnant and I just couldnt be near her. Just certain memories were so hard and how happy she was, I couldnt take that away from her. I now have 8 year old twins (which were also born at 27 weeks) and it was the hardest thing to find out when I was pregnant, the not knowing was the hardest thing ever. I never got attached in the beginning, until I found out that they would be okay. Time heals all, but the memory will be there. Just remember, everything happens for a reason, just sometime, we cant seem to figure out the reason. I am VERY sorry.. Really, I know what you are all going thru. Hugs and Kissses...

Yes, going home with an empty belly, and empty arms is the worst. I remember feeling so alone walking out those doors. Thank you for telling me a little of your story, it gives me hope to hear other success stories for subsequent pregnancies! Today is a better day, my heart isn't so heavy today.