post natal after neonatel death

Becky,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my son about two months ago when he was 10 days old. I was wrecked and I started bleeding heavily and my blood pressure went sky high. I made an appt with my OB to be checked for stress-related issues. I found that my doctor just wanted to treat me like any other post natal mom, no extra care due to my loss.

I had to make phone calls to the doctor to ask about tests and test results, and I made an appointment with the high risk OB at the hospital where I delivered my son, to talk about what happened and what she recommends for the future. I felt that I had to find my own path to get the care I wanted. If I hadn’t sought it out, no one was coming looking for me.

I had a final check up with my OB at 6 weeks post natal, to check how my c-section incision was healing.

There are some things I find helpful emotionally, like talking with other bereaved moms online or in support groups, and talking with my friends and family. I also have been talking by phone with a nurse who lost her baby and now counsels women who've experienced a loss, the hospital hooked me up with her.

I hope this is helpful. Hang in there!
Tina

I am so sorry for your loss. I have had no experience with this, but like Tina said, I would call your doctor.

Good luck.

Katie

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my twins at 20 weeks and 4 days on November 30th. They gave me a 1 week checkup, and also a 6 week checkup. I have talked to them once or twice since over the phone and they have offered to refer me to mental health services (the military is so PC right?) every time over the phone.

Hi Becky-

I had 5 post pardum visits with my OB after I lost my son stillborn at 30 weeks exactly in March '09. I had surgery just after midnight early Friday morning, but didn't see her to get the staples removed until the following Friday. That was the longest I've ever had staples in (usually 2-3 days tops if not getting them out right before leaving hospital). Two of them had become imbedded and it hurt like a mother getting them out. I had 4 more post pardum visits with her with my last one falling on my due date. Urgh. They should be checking your incision if you've had a c-section, still screening your urine if you had pre-eclampsia, taking your BPs, maybe be on or taking you off BP meds if you were given a prescription, etc. My lame OB stopped checking my incision after our 2nd post pardum visit and basically I found seeing her was totally useless. She messed up, didn't monitor me, should have refused to take me on at 21 weeks if I was too much for her, etc. I had a transfer of care last January because my regular OB was being let go. I should have inquired about the best OB's. WHY, WHY, WHY didn't I do that?! I hate January 8th and I always willl. If you feel like things aren't happening for you with a particular practice, go somewhere else. I learned the hard way.

Best of luck,

Lindsay

Becky,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your little one. At the very very least you should still be seen for a "normal" postpartum check up which includes your annual pap and such. Other tests and next steps would really depend on what happened. I am so very sorry that on top of everything else you are not feeling well supported by your OB.

Do keep us psoted,
Lauren

Becky, I am so sorry, unfortunely I found no support after losing our daughter from the medical field. Sleeping pills and an offer of counseling and yes genetic testing, not so very helpful really. I found my friends and family the best support. Your in my thoughts and prayers

Hi everyone.
Thank u so much for ur replys. I found out today that my consultant didn't tell us about the blood clots they found in my placenta as he didn't find it relevant, what a load of rubbish.... We should decide what is relavant or not, they should tell us everything especially something as serious as that. Ive also been down the docters and demanded swabs to check theres no infection there but they would only do a basic one better then nothing i suppose but wat i dont understand is would they pick it up as they didnt last time cos it was a ascending genital tract infection, it was too far up to get to. But that is all thats been done, ive had no checks to see if my cervis has gone back or if my womb is ok after everthing my bodys been through and with the placenta being a greeny colour which they reckon was maybe caused to alexia-mae opening her bowels..... I just dont know wat to do or what tests or check ups im suppose to have... Im now in the middle of putting in a complaint to the hospital due to the neglect with had since we have left the hospital, it just isnt good enough all i can do is try get my point across not that they will give a damm of wat ive got to say... Anyway thanks guys it helps x x x x

Hi becky im glad you put up your quest in wondering whats next. I dont know either. I am going to get my 6 week check up soon and hoping they check everything. I would love to try again and would only let this happen with everything being %100, i know i may never know what has happened to make me go into labour early but would hope they give me the %100 go ahead. Take care i also see a councellor once a week at the moment which i find does help too. xxxx Amy x