pregnant again after loss any advice?

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I know it's a very painful thing to go through because we, too, lost a daughter in December of 2007.
I got pregnant again in June of 2009 and was terrified! It took us almost 18 months of trying, but I think that was a good thing in hindsight. It gave me that much more time to try to heal myself physically and emotionally.
I have basically been taking it one day at a time...that's the only way to preserve your sanity! I didn't want to tell people at first because I just couldn't be all the way happy. Not many people know what it's like to lose a baby and end up saying insensitive things while trying to be nice. It took me many many weeks to even think of a future with this baby. Then when we found out we were having another girl, I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. It has been quite an emotional roller coaster! I decided early on that I was putting myself and the baby first. If I needed to cry or whatever, I didn't worry about how other people felt. That definitely helped.
I'll be 37 weeks pregnant on Tuesday. It's hard to be this close and still wonder how things will turn out. When you lose a child, you lose a lot of your innocence.
I hope this pregnancy is long and uneventful for you! I was also on baby aspirin...I haven't had any problems yet, so I would say that it helped with something. It made me feel proactive at least! Be gentle with yourself as you make your way through this pregnancy. There is no right or wrong way to feel or react as long as it helps you through this scary/exciting time.
I found that starting a blog on here really helped. Everyone has a bit of advice to give that comes from first hand experience in most cases.
Please keep us posted and I'll keep you in my thoughts!

Megan.

Thank u so much megan for answering me it means so much to me that i have someone to talk to. I really hope that u'll deliver the most wonderful baby girl in the world and i also hope that everything will turn out good this time.
I'll always keep u posted as i have an appointement in 2 weeks to hear the heartbeat i wish that'll turn out well.
Thanks again.
May

Hi May,

I, too, lost a baby...my first. There's nothing more difficult and painful and no one truly understands unless they've lost a child too. I came very close to losing my second too, but God's grace and mercy were with us and he is a living miracle. I'm pregnant again and I still live with the fear and uncertainty of possibly losing another one. I have had a lot of the same precautions you will be having...cerclage at 12 weeks, etc. So far things are going well. I'm 17 weeks now. I'm very hopeful, but like Megan said...it's day to day. I don't know that you ever move beyond the fears, but you do find a way to enjoy and rejoice with each passing day and week and month...gradually getting more and more excited and falling in love with your baby. Try to do everything you can to wrap your heart and mind and life around yourself, your pregnancy and your baby. Everything else can wait. Your baby is your number one priority for the next 9 months.

I'll be thinking about you. I'm looking forward to updates.

Julie

May, I am sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can't comment on being pregnant after a loss, but if you ever have any questions about cerclages I'm happy to try to answer. Wishing you the best with this pregnancy.

Kristyn

Hello ladies

I lost my baby boy last august due to IC. I have just had my cerclage done at 13weeks and everything is healed up. You would think i would be joyous, but i am a bag of nerves! I have a follow up appointment on wednesday and am worried about the baby, infections , all sorts. i suppose when your only experience is a loss ( Connor was 24 weeks ) thats the only thing to base your thoughts on!
Its funny, with Connor i was full of the joys of spring. With this baby i'm sick, tired, frustrated and fed up. Maybe that's all good signs. I can only put my faith in my awesome Dr and in my body ( which is n my bad books for not working properly )

If you need a cerclage, then do it. It can only be good, right!
Big hugs to everyone xoxoxoxo

did anyone find themselves urinating A LOT after cerclage? I'm worried about that too. ( maybe i just need a creative outlet!)

I'm sorry for your loss. I can't relate to that, but I do understand the worries associated with IC. My 1st pregnancy was "uneventful" until I went into labor at 31 weeks 4 days. This is very late in the game, so it was considered a "fluke". But, in my second pregnancy I started spotting and was very achey starting about 12 weeks. By 14 weeks it hurt and I knew something was wrong. It was funneling and dilation when I was 14 weeks. I had a cerclage that afternoon. I was a basket case and in and out of L&D what seemed like every 5 minutes and mostly just because I was paranoid. I understand being worried and scared and it certainly doesn't make for the ideal pregnancy. I'm sorry you are going through the stresses of a high risk pregnancy.
Good news - I have 2 full term babies and one on the way thanks to a cerclage. I hope you find the same success.
As for the urination - it isn't something my OB ever told me to expect, but I have experienced it each time and it continues throughout my pregnancies. I know others on this site have commented about the same thing. Keep drinking water and pee often to help...
Good luck!
Kristyn

Like Kristyn, I remember peeing more with my cerclage but I don't know that I associated it with my cerclage - just the more frequent peeing that comes along with pregnancy.

Thanks for the replies. I Hope everyone is ok. I feel a little better today. I am going for a check up tomorrow so everything's crossed. x

I hope you get a good check up today...let us know how it goes...in case I didn't mention it you should join us in the Pregnant and Fabulous thread . It can be a place of great comfort throughout your pregnancy.

Kristyn