missing Brianna Rose

snappa - 06:06am Mar 15, 2010 EST

I wake up go to work, pay the bills, and life seems to go on. It should be that im at home holding my gorgeous little girl and thinking of who i want to show her off to next. But this wont happen. I am trying really hard, but just feel so much hurt at the moment. It will be coming up 3 months since our little girl passed.

I was a week late with my 2nd period and for a moment there i was excited, excited i might be able to try again. So i waited and waited and decided to do a preg test only to find out it was negative. And a day later got my period.

It seems no matter where i look or who i meet everyone seems pregnant, or just had a baby. I found out today that there are 8 girls at my work who are all pregnant and due around august.

I am trying to make sense of everything that has happened, what did i do to deserve this amount of pain? All my girlfriends are at home with their husbands and their little bubs enjoying them selves and i cant do it, i cant see them even though i would love to. Its like i dont want to leave the house cause at home ill be ok. I know this isnt true and i dont stay at home but its a feeling i have. When will it be our turn hey? We are good people hey? I'm sorry for venting i just feel sad, hurt, lost have you guys felt like this. i love you Brianna xxx Amy (snappa)