Drake09
- Oct 18, 2010 3:04 am
(#69 Total: 226)
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You all are in my heart tonight and thank you for being here. I'm going to find a candle right now and light it. Thanks so much, again.
Agnes 
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Oct 22, 2010 9:08 pm
(#70 Total: 226)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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grandmamary
- Oct 24, 2010 4:19 am
(#71 Total: 226)
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Why is it people don't want to talk about our angel's? My daughter was upset the other night because she posted pictures of both AJ and Braelynn alive on her face book. People will comment on AJ's pictures, but not Braelynn's. Her own father (we've been divorced for 28 yrs) has not brought up Braelynn since he was there when she passed away. Her aunt (father's sister) had not ever mentioned her. Finally, last night when my daughter was talking to her father she broke down crying and told him that it hurt they never talk about Braelynn. Maybe they will get it now.
I feel the same way. I mentioned Braelynn's 4 month heaven day on facebook and the only comment I get was on how big AJ is getting.
Last week I went to a memory walk for infant loss at the local hospital. Did anyone besides my daughter ask me how it was? NO
I guess I just needed to vent. 
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Oct 24, 2010 6:50 am
(#72 Total: 226)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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The silence is one of the most hurtful things. Not only is it crushing to not feel that others want to hear about your little one, it says something about the value they place on them. That always hurts me the most. I think what perhaps has helped my family feel very comfortable talking about Akeelah was our openness and quite frankly bluntness that she was and is a part of our life. At the time she was also our only child so there was no one else for people to focus on if they felt uncomfortable. These are some resources I have shared with our family and friends- This Does Not Have to Be a Secret
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Elizabeth-McCracken-Memoir Deep Grief
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121403275&ps=rs Capturing the Brief Life of an Infant
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121758804&sc=emaf Now We Are Living Alone
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128977776 A quote from the last one...
"Our child dies a second time when no one speaks their name." - Mitch Carmody of Minnesota, whose 9-year-old son, Kelly, died of cancer in 1987 And a quote I love...
The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring music to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
let me hear the music of her name!
It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul!
~Author Unknown ~ I hope some of these will be helpful to you and your daughter and help give the family the courage to speak Braelynn's sweet name.
[Last Editor: Akeelah's Mommy, Oct 23, 2010 11:51 pm. Total Edits: 1]
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grandmamary
- Oct 24, 2010 2:42 pm
(#73 Total: 226)
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Lauren, Thank you so much. You always seem to know just the right things to share. I am going to copy your response and send it to my daughter. Actually, I want to send it to all my e-mail and face book people!
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Oct 26, 2010 9:45 pm
(#74 Total: 226)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Awww- thanks. You made my day. Anytime I'm able to give comfort to someone else I feel so very close to Akeelah. Thank you. I hope they will be helpful. We keep a public family blog and as I heard the stories I would post them on our blog for family to see. I think it's really helped. We recently visited family for the first time in a long time (we live far away) and I was so pleased that almost everyone said Akeelah's name just in regular conversation. It made my heart light. Keep us posted how the stories go over with the family. If your daughter ever wants to chat with other mommies who understand you know where to send her 
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Adean79
- Oct 26, 2010 10:15 pm
(#75 Total: 226)
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Thank you so much for sharing these articles, this quote really sums up my feelings lately.
For us what was killing was how nothing had changed. We'd been waiting to be transformed, and now here we were, back in our old life.
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Oct 27, 2010 1:18 am
(#76 Total: 226)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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That feeling stings. My husband and I would look at each other in the evening and that silence in space that was supposed to be filled with caring for Akeelah was painful.
And while it felt like she had disappeared we grew to recognize that every foot forward from the day she was born was somehow different because she was here. She changed the way I view the world, my life and what is and is not important. I miss her just as much today as I did the moment we said goodbye.
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stacyat
- Oct 28, 2010 3:10 am
(#77 Total: 226)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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Lauren: You're exactly right. Every parent is changed forever the second their little one enters their world, whether that be only for a second or many years.
Another angel momma needs thoughts and prayers today, she lost her rainbow. Her son was born still last November at full term, and her baby girl was born today just shy of 24 weeks after a little over two weeks of fighting to keep her in.
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Oct 28, 2010 6:15 am
(#78 Total: 226)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Oh Stacy- That breaks my heart. I'm so sorry. Please let her know she's in the thoughts of many. What is her little girls name?
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stacyat
- Oct 28, 2010 1:37 pm
(#79 Total: 226)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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Rebecca Lane, such a sweet name. She got her Akeelah-inspired blanket from me the night before. I was hoping that miss Becca would be laying on it or using it to cover her isolette
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Jackie G
- Oct 28, 2010 4:18 pm
(#80 Total: 226)
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Mom to a 25 weeker who is now 8 years old and a 38.5 weeker who is now 6 |
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Stacy - I know I posted on FB, but please let Katie know that we are all thinking of her and her angels.  How are you doing? I know that you were kind of shaken last time this happened to one of your ivillage friends, are you holding up ok?
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stacyat
- Oct 28, 2010 5:29 pm
(#81 Total: 226)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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I am doing ok as far as stressing about Elim only because I had my cervical length check yesterday. I just feel so helpless though, I wish there was something I could do for her and her family. I'm heartbroken, the only way I can really describe it is it feels like my son lost his two of his best friends. They were supposed to all be born within a few weeks of eachother, but not nearly this soon, not this way.
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Angel Love
- Oct 28, 2010 6:09 pm
(#82 Total: 226)
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Stacy~ I can imagine your pain is worse because you know the heartache that is inside of the moms as well...
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Oct 28, 2010 6:30 pm
(#83 Total: 226)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Awww, Rebecca Lane- that is a sweet name. I'm so saddened for them, you and for Elim.
Extra hugs to you.
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grandmamary
- Oct 29, 2010 12:55 am
(#84 Total: 226)
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Stacy, my heart goes out to you and your friend. Please take care of yourself. Was your cervix ok? You and your friend are in my thoughts and prayers.
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stacyat
- Oct 30, 2010 5:26 am
(#85 Total: 226)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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Thanks ladies.
Grandmamary: Yes, it was still in the ok range. It had shrunk some, but not by a lot and still well above the point they start getting worried.
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mytwinbabies
- Nov 1, 2010 10:04 pm
(#86 Total: 226)
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Mommy to angel twins Jay & Morgan and our 36 week 5 day miracle:Megyn Joelle |
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Stacy~I am rooting you on! I love your updates and cheer when your cervix is long and closed! Oh, the things that make us happy on Share!
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stacyat
- Nov 1, 2010 10:07 pm
(#87 Total: 226)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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LOL! I know, who'd have every thought that one day I would be excited over having a "beautiful cervix" 
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mytwinbabies
- Nov 1, 2010 10:12 pm
(#88 Total: 226)
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Mommy to angel twins Jay & Morgan and our 36 week 5 day miracle:Megyn Joelle |
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Ha, ha! I am so happy you have a "beautiful" cervix! That is certainly something to celebrate!
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grandmamary
- Nov 3, 2010 1:28 am
(#89 Total: 226)
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Five months ago Braelynn and AJ were born. It does not seem that long ago. AJ was 9lbs 2 oz last week at well baby check up. He is now smiling at people and has discovered his hands.
There is no room at the Inn this month, so I don't know when I'll be able to go see him again. It has been 2 months.
Then there is the other side. Tomorrow it will be 5 months since Braelynn became an angel. The sad with the happy. I guess that is our twin experience.
Replies to this message
Angel Love (Nov 3, 2010 1:36 am)
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stacyat
- Nov 3, 2010 1:31 am
(#90 Total: 226)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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Wow, AJ's getting to be a big boy! I bet you're missing seeing the not-so little guy. Hugs to you on Braelynn's five month angelversary, those days are so hard.
Stacy
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Angel Love
- Nov 3, 2010 1:36 am
(#91 Total: 226)
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Replying to:
grandmamary (Nov 3, 2010 1:28 am)
Five months ago Braelynn and AJ were born. It does not seem that long ago. AJ was 9lbs 2 oz...
It's so hard to celebrate these bittersweet moments!! Hugs to you from someone that truly understands. Yay for A.J. doing well!! I'm sure those smiles are brightening a lot of days. Tracy 
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Nov 3, 2010 6:53 am
(#92 Total: 226)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Aww, Grandma Mary, the days are so very bittersweet. I will be thinking of sweet Braelynn and hoping some room will clear and you'll be able to love on AJ soon. Have you been able to sneak any of those stories to your family?
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Nov 4, 2010 8:03 pm
(#93 Total: 226)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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The holiday card conundrum...
Ugh... already I find myself getting anxious for the holiday card conundrum.. how to we show our whole family.... and how do we sign the card...
So far I've just been using our last name family... 'cause do we add Akeelah's name if we sign it with all our names.... after a wife looses a husband, she doesn't continue to add his name... but ugh...
So many little things become so difficult. The world is just not cut out for angel parents... we gotta make our own way.
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grandmamary
- Nov 5, 2010 10:44 pm
(#94 Total: 226)
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No response!
Lauren
I took your whole message you wrote and pasted it in my personal e-mail and sent it to everyone on my list. The only two people who responded was a friend who lost 2 babies and a friend whose college age neice died in a car accident.
I also posted the last poem on my face book-NO RESPONSE!
I just don't get why people don't understand. Next I may have to post "I WANT AND NEED TO TALK ABOUT BRAELYNN!" I am beginning to believe that wouldn't even work.
I just thank God every day for this website. You all have been so kind, helpful and let me vent.
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grandmamary
- Nov 5, 2010 10:57 pm
(#95 Total: 226)
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Holiday Cards
Gee Lauren, the holiday card thing is hard. I know a person at the group I go to just had a family picture done and one of her son's was holding the teddy bear that belonged to her angel. It was her way of including her angel.
Maybe you could sign Angel Akeelah.
Needless to say, I will be mentioning Braelynn in my Christmas letter this year, but you are right what do you do when it is not new news?
Since I am rather stubborn, I am sure I am going to find a way to mention her every year. People may think I am crazy, but I am too old to care any more.
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mytwinbabies
- Nov 7, 2010 3:42 pm
(#96 Total: 226)
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Mommy to angel twins Jay & Morgan and our 36 week 5 day miracle:Megyn Joelle |
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Grandmamary-People don't get that we need to talk about our angels. I have given up on facebook for a number of reasons because people say dumb things and complain about the most mundane parts of life. Makes you wonder what they would do if they had to live a day without their child or grandchild. We love that you are here though!
Lauren-I have struggled with this topic too. I want to include Jay and Morgan in our Christmas card, so I have come up with a couple ideas. I bought a pink and blue stocking and pins with the first letter of their names. I am going to put those on the stocking and take a picture and perhaps that will be our card this year, or maybe their angels bears with the pins. Not sure, but I so want to include them. Not the way I had planned in my head a year ago, that's for sure.
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Nov 9, 2010 6:39 am
(#97 Total: 226)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Urgh! Number 49940294 why I'm not on Facebook!  I'm so sorry they weren't more responsive. My hope is that with time they will realize that your love for Braelynn doesn't change no matter how many days pass and that she will be just a big a part of the family 5 years from now as the day she was born. Keep at 'em! The first year we had Akeelah's picture, last year we had her ornament I think... this year I'm not sure... maybe a Cherry Blossom... if we do a family photo we'll be sure to have her blanket in it and I'll probably wear one of my Cherry Blossom shirts... I dunno... It's the thinking of it that drives me more crazy than the actually doing it. Kami- I like those ideas a lot. The stocking ideas are sweet. I hope when they are up you'll share pictures. I was at Macy's the other day... they already have their Christmas decorations out  which is obnoxious, BUT they had a whole tree of butterfly ornaments... and 40% off. I got two really cute ones. Something to check out. One had a Butterfly and 2010 on it.
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mytwinbabies
- Nov 14, 2010 6:42 pm
(#98 Total: 226)
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Mommy to angel twins Jay & Morgan and our 36 week 5 day miracle:Megyn Joelle |
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I know Lauren, the amount of thought that goes into a darn card, when it should be so simple. We should have our babies here, end of story.
I like the butterfly ornament with the year. How cool! A lil disturbing they have decorations out for the holidays already. My goodness it isn't even Thanksgiving yet!
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