stacyat
- Apr 25, 2012 2:54 pm
(#253 Total: 496)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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James's mom
- Apr 29, 2012 5:06 am
(#254 Total: 496)
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bereavement support groups?
Hi,
Wondering if folks have tried and liked or not liked bereavement support groups. I've tried to find two of them near me and so far no luck, they don't seem to be meeting regularly.
I feel sort of pissed that the University hospital where I delivered didn't offer a group support to me (they thought I'd want to find a support group closer to home) and my local hospital where I was supposed to deliver doesn't seem to be meeting.
The next two weeks are going to be excruciating.... Maybe I can find a group support of some stripe to check out, that might be good.
I had really hoped to be expecting again before his due date, as I know that will be a good thing for me - since I'm 35 my husband is 46 and James was our first child - but I don't think I'm expecting, so nothing to look forward to yet.
Natalie
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Apr 29, 2012 10:10 am
(#255 Total: 496)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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I tried one, but it wasn't specifically for infant/child loss, so it wasn't a good fit. I can say that there is something very very special about being in the same room with other angel mommies. That sense that everyone knows your ache is priceless.
The lead up to your EDD and important dates are so difficult. I hope you'll find as many of us have that the lead up to those days are often more difficult than the actual day which often can be peaceful- I know it seems impossible, and I didn't believe it until on my daughter's EDD I just felt a sense of ok. We did things to honor her that day and she felt closer than I anticipated.
Lauren
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Maddoxmom
- Apr 29, 2012 10:30 am
(#256 Total: 496)
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Natalie,
I've been to several support groups. There is bereaved parents of the USA, and compassionate friends. I didn't like either of those because it is much different losing a baby vs losing an older child, and I wanted to talk with people who knew exactly what I was going through. The ones that I am attending now are through the Share group. I'm not sure their exact site, but it you just search for infant lose support group; share, it should come up. They have a lot of chapters, I've actually tried to go to a few different ones around me until I find the right fit for me. Hopefully this helps and you can find one near you.
Lisa
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lvazquez
- Apr 29, 2012 11:31 pm
(#257 Total: 496)
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Mom to Donovyn (32 weeker), Tristyn (34 weeker), and Naethyn (30 weeker born sleeping) |
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I looked into support groups early on, but they were always held at like 7:30 a.m. It just wasn't convenient when trying to get care or if willing,have one of my parents drive 45 minutes so that I could attend. So, that's when I looked into taking advantage of some therapy sessions that my district offered. I learned about the different stages of grief and I was able to identify them as they were happening. Boy, have I bounced back and forth. I had a few sessions with a therapist, then our insurances changes and this place was no longer contracted. I was going to have to start over with a new therapist. The woman dealt with a variety of issues though, so it wasn't centered on infant loss. Other than being on Share, I haven't found a better place for support.
Lindsay
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josie1204
- May 2, 2012 1:50 am
(#258 Total: 496)
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my pretty paula
Well its been a mnth 1/2 since my princess left us although i feel likes it was yesterday. I think about her everyday and remeber her laughter. I have gone back to work and try to avoid the people. I fear that they ask how my baby is doing and having to say she passed away. I have been going to therapy and it is helping but it doesnt take away the emptiness i feel. My therapist says its going to be a slow process. I also recvd the results from the autopsy. My baby didnt die from NEC how they had said. She got a rare bacteria its called Clostridium perfringes which they had
never seen at the NICU she was at and the doctor also said that in her 15yrs she had never seen that in a baby and it was going to be put in the medical literature. I guess what botherd me the most is that she said if they had known she had that it could of been cured. I am trying to move on but its hard i just whish i would of known she was sick but she never gave signs. I miss my baby so much i feel so empty and angry. I hate knowing that i cant visit or hold her anymore at the NICU and now all i can do is visit her at the cemetery. I still have her clothes that we bought her and she will never wear. She was my first baby which i so much desired to have. I know some day we will reunite and forever be together.  Thanks you for letting me vent. This sight makez me not feel alone since their is more mommies whom have gone or a feeling the same as me.
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Haileybug
- May 4, 2012 1:30 am
(#259 Total: 496)
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Hayden (8-2011 miscarriage), Hailey (born at 22-6 on 3-6-12) |
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I am so sorry you are having a hard time back at work. I know what you are going through, we lost our little girl 8 weeks ago and I have been back at work two weeks now. It is so hard seeing everyone again, and the fear that people will ask how my daugther is and having to talk about our losing her. I hope that it continues to get easier for you at work and with the healing of losing your precious girl. Keep us posted on how it goes.
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liz loschinskey
- May 4, 2012 5:35 pm
(#260 Total: 496)
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Josie and Haileybug,
My thoughts are with you two in this difficult time. I will be praying for peace in the upcoming months.
I remember going back to work after my loss.
Please come here when you need to vent, cry, laugh....or simply stare at the screen.
Love and Light,
Liz
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Akeelah's Mommy
- May 4, 2012 6:21 pm
(#261 Total: 496)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Did anyone else see this story?
http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/05/02/151845273/fetal-attraction A researcher has found that fetal cells actually are found in mommies long after they have had their kiddos... and some of those cells are actually found in siblings as well. Isn't that amazing?! I found a nice lil' comfort knowing that somewhere Akeelah's cells are still literally having an impact on myself, and her siblings, as she does each day on our hearts. It's almost like scientific proof (as if I needed it) that our little ones are always always always so close, no matter how short their time here with us.
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Akeelah's Mommy
- May 13, 2012 5:12 am
(#262 Total: 496)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Happy Mother's Day
A very special Mother's Day wish for all the Angel Mommas.
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grandmamary
- May 13, 2012 4:21 pm
(#263 Total: 496)
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I have not been on site for awhile. We are in the season of anniversary dates.
I sent Bethany a Mother's Day card from Braelynn and one from AJ (even though I know my SIL will get her one from AJ). I haven't talked to her since of if she has received it.
It was so hard for me to write. I cried all day. Two years ago Bethany was in the hospital on bed rest but at least there was still hope. It seems like every year between April 28th and Braelynn's death June 3rd will be that anxious remembering time.
I also wish there was a place to find appropriate cards. I am forever wondering around Hallmark, half in tears not finding what I want.
At least my boss last week did say something about me seeming sad and I did tell him it was over anniversary time. Even though his mother and brother were killed in a car accident when he was 2 and his sister lost a baby, he doesn't seem to understand why the grief is so big.
Thinking of all my angel mommy friends on this Mothers Day.
Hugs and a shoulder to cry on,
Grandma Mary
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liz loschinskey
- May 13, 2012 7:51 pm
(#264 Total: 496)
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Grandma Mary,
Nice to see you round these parts, again. Happy mother's day!
I understand the anniversaries....
My son's birthday 5/29. His death day 6/6. Today is mother's day.
Today is bittersweet as I hug my daughter and cry.
Love and Light,
Liz
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stacyat
- May 13, 2012 8:15 pm
(#265 Total: 496)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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Happy mothers day to some of the strongest mommas that I know!
Grandma Mary: Hugs to you and your family on the anniversary dates. When I was looking for mothers day cards in Target I came across a "thinking of you" card specifically for Mother's day. I thought that would be perfect for many of us!
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Akeelah's Mommy
- May 14, 2012 6:54 am
(#266 Total: 496)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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James's mom
- May 19, 2012 12:56 pm
(#267 Total: 496)
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taking James "home"
We are at the airport to travel across the country to bury James next to his grandad (my dad). James's urn had to be shipped US mail express last min. earlier this wk when we realized it might get hung in TSA security at the airport. This upset me greatly as my plan was to travel with his ashes, but they arrived safely at my moms. Last wks est. due date (3 days before mothers day) was hard...
But a friend at my community orchestra rehearsal this wk told me a co-worker of his delivered twins on my due date (& all are healthy) & he liked to think James has something to do with that. I'm thankful I have caring friends.
Natalie
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lvazquez
- May 19, 2012 3:33 pm
(#268 Total: 496)
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Mom to Donovyn (32 weeker), Tristyn (34 weeker), and Naethyn (30 weeker born sleeping) |
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Natalie, so sweet that you are placing James right next to his grandad. He's with a loved one and knowing that sometimes helps a bit. I'm glad that his ashes arrived safely. USPS came through:) I like the way your caring friend thinks. A colleague at work delivered her healthy son on the same day mine became an angel. I like to think that there's some kind of a connection there too:)
Lindsay
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liz loschinskey
- May 22, 2012 2:35 pm
(#269 Total: 496)
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Natalie,
So glad Jamez made it to your mom's unharmed. I buried my son on top of my mother, I understand.
Your friends are very kind memorializing your son in such a fashion.
Love and light to you,
Liz
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grandmamary
- May 26, 2012 2:47 pm
(#270 Total: 496)
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Count down to birthday and heaven day
This week is the count down to AJ and Braelynn's birthday (June 2nd) and Braelynn's heaven day (June 3rd).
I have tried to find a fitting card for both AJ and Braelynn. It is frustrating as many of the cards for 2 year olds say "Two is twice as nice as one" Grrr .. . that sure doesn't fit when his twin sister is not here!
Does anyone know a site that has cards appropriate to celebrate our angels birthdays, holidays, etc? I am tired of sifting through card stores and isles just to come out crying because of what I am looking for and because I can not find a card that fits and remembers my granddaughter. I just can not send one birthday card when there were two births.
Even though this is year 2 the feeling leading up are as hard as last year and I guess I will always be thinking "X number of years ago, there was hope."
I did find a card with an angel girl on it. Not a birthday card, but I might try to scan the picture in and make Braelynn a card.
Once again, thank you everyone for listening to me babble on.
Grandma Mary
P. S. Any info on Share Reunion for this year?
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liz loschinskey
- May 26, 2012 6:19 pm
(#271 Total: 496)
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Grandma Mary-
Oct, 19-21, I believe. Share Union. Dolphins resort in Orlando. On Disney grounds.
Hope you can make it!!!
Love and Light,
Liz
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Akeelah's Mommy
- May 26, 2012 10:53 pm
(#272 Total: 496)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Grandma Mary- I always like the thinking of you card section... 'cause you're so right... Hallmark is missing the boat in the birthday section. I also like just blank ones that have images that remind me of our daughter...
I'll be keeping you and your entire family in my thoughts as those important dates approach.
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stacyat
- May 28, 2012 12:47 am
(#273 Total: 496)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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Grandma Mary: I agree with Lauren, the thinking of you cards and the blank cards are the best sections for situations like ours! I also love the idea of you making a card, I'm sure that would be extra special!
Oooh, you thinking of coming to Share Union this year? We would love to meet you!!
Stacy
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grandmamary
- Jun 3, 2012 2:10 pm
(#274 Total: 496)
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Stacy and Lauren, I do go to the "Thinking of You" section, but maybe I am just too fussy and want just the right card. I did make Braelynn a birthday card from a copied picture of a little girl angel with birds. I was happy with how it turned out and I think Bethany appreciated it, which is the most important thing to me.
I would love to come to Share Union. I would like it even better if Bethany could come along. She doesn't have anyone to watch AJ so I don't think that will work. I usually, go visit my son and his family in Switzerland in Oct since both my Swiss granddaughters were born in Oct, so I will have to see what I can figure out about doing both.
Yesterday, was AJ and Braelynn's 2nd birthday. Today is Braelynn's 2nd year heaven day. Actually, two years ago at this time I was up in the NICU meeting my granddaughter and grandson for the first time. I am so thankful that I was able to get there in time to see her alive.
Sometimes, I guess you have to search for the small blessings.
Grandma Mary
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Jun 3, 2012 5:41 pm
(#275 Total: 496)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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And we'd love to see you there... and Bethany! Very sweet birthday wishes to AJ and Braelynn!
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grandmamary
- Jun 3, 2012 11:23 pm
(#276 Total: 496)
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Since Share Union starts on Friday. What is the schedule like? Do people come the night before and when does it end on Sunday? Do people leave Sunday or on Monday?
Figure if I start working on this now, maybe I can make a go of it.
Grandma Mary
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Jun 3, 2012 11:26 pm
(#277 Total: 496)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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There's typically a meet and greet on Friday night... Saturday all day we conference (read spend lots of time giving real hugs and learning way to grow from our experiences) and then Sunday we break after lunch. Lots of folks leave Sunday afternoon or Monday morning... kinda depends on flights. There will be lots more details coming out about the super fun weekend in the next few weeks.
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MonaClare
- Jun 7, 2012 5:09 pm
(#278 Total: 496)
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The loss of my baby Jace
Jace was born at 24 weeks and 2 days on April 9th. He passed away on Monday June 4th at 6:45pm (32 weeks & 2lbs 14oz). He was such a beautiful baby. He developed Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC), an infection of the intestines, very common in preemies. He had the surgery to remove the infected part of his bowel and did great for a day and a half afterwards. Unfortunately he became septic from some of the toxins getting into his blood stream. His kidneys shut down and soon after his heart stopped. I was holding him when he died.
3 1/2 yrs ago my 12 yr old son, Kevin, passed away from an accident.
I find myself coping with Jace's death a little better than I did Kevin's. I am having moments where I feel so weak and other times I feel strong. Both deaths are totally different circumstances. Jace was very sick, and became that way too fast and his tiny body could not handle it. The Dr's kept my husband and I informed step by step of what was going on with him and they were very honest. The told us that he may not survive this.
I feel so bad that he had to go through all he went through and deal with so much pain. That is what hurts the most. I couldn't help him. Right before surgery he was looking right at us as to say, please make this all go away. My poor baby. I wish I could. My heart is once again heavy with the loss of my precious baby.
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liz loschinskey
- Jun 7, 2012 8:17 pm
(#279 Total: 496)
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MonaClare,
I'm sorry to hear of both of your sons. I hope you find some comfort here at Share. I pray for peace for you in the upcoming months.
Love and Light,
Liz
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Jun 7, 2012 11:18 pm
(#280 Total: 496)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Monica-
I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your sweet Jace. I remember seeing posts around Share from you. My heart is so very heavy for you for the loss of Jace and his big brother Kevin.
Please know I will be keeping your family in my thoughts and wishing you moments of peace.
Lauren
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felong23
- Jun 8, 2012 2:38 am
(#281 Total: 496)
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another loss ive taken @23 Weeks
On may 29 i went into labor at 23 Weeks,just all of a sudden and loss my 1st born his name was Dai'vionn i don't know what went wrong,my first lost was at 6 Weeks it wasn't as hard as this loss that I've just experienced i have alot of questions, iam afaired to try again due to this is there any hope for mr(,Scared But Proud Mother)...
IMG_20120529_042942
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Akeelah's Mommy
- Jun 8, 2012 5:13 am
(#282 Total: 496)
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A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. |
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Welcome to Share. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Dai'vionn, and your early loss. Thank you for sharing his picture- what a sweetheart.
There are so many questions that accompany loss. I hope meeting with your doctors many will be answered. Many of our fears of trying again were put to ease by knowing what our plan in our subsequent pregnancy would be.
My thoughts are with you,
Lauren
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