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OUR JOURNEY THROUGH IVF LAND

[MrsB]

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MrsB

May 2013
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ANGELINA GRACE

Jul 17, 2012 05:35am (EST)

Pictures of our Angelina as promised xxx


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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (3) | Permalink
OUR LITTLE ANGEL OF GRACE

Jul 05, 2012 01:49pm (EST)

I'm delighted to share with you that our little miracle, Angelina Grace was born by c-section on July 3rd (she just missed that other big date!), she weighed a very healthy 4.75kg or 10lbs 7oz - one of the reasons for her method of delivery!
I feel like her big sisters Neve and Sierra are smiling down at her.
I hope you lovely ladies are well and that your journeys grow less painful over time, and that you too get your own little miracles.
Once I am home and can post her photos, I am going to close this blog to focus on Angelina, but I want to thank you for your support, understanding and love at a time when I really needed it when no one else understood what I was facing.
Love to all of you xxx
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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (4) | Permalink
MATERNITY LEAVE

Jun 02, 2012 11:03am (EST)

It's been so long since I have visited Share...
Sorry for my long absence, there has been so much to do, and prepare, and work etc etc. OK they're bad excuses, I have been slack
I am 35 weeks now and Bean is tracking along really well, very active little bub who enjoys nothing more than kicking its Mum a LOT. Which I love It hasn't given me any quiet time in which to worry that something is wrong!
I started maternity leave yesterday, good timing given the end of FY madness has started and I really can't focus - very tired and entirely too distracted by baby-related things to be much use.
It's getting very cold here. Our ski season has started today, and Bean & I will be heading down for it's very first snow adventure at the beginning of September.
It occurred to me on Tuesday at my obstetrician appt that almost a year ago to the day I was in his offices when he told me my precious angel twins were gone. Fast forward a year, and he told me that my big beautiful Bean is starting its journey down to meet its Mum in the next few weeks for newborn cuddles.
It's still true that time doesn't heal, but it does help.
Our last scan is on Tuesday, so the next time we see Bean after that will be live and in the flesh! Pics to come x
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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (4) | Permalink
16 WEEKS!

Jan 18, 2012 10:03am (EST)

Long time, no blog!
I've been pottering along in this pregnancy quite well since Christmas, the Nuchal test came back with really low risk for Downs and the other Trisomies, and we are now official - can't believe we're past 12 weeks and time is flying now

Christmas was lovely, we spent it with my husband's family and then went out on the boat on Boxing Day. New Years Eve was predictably quiet we watched the local 9pm fireworks on the beach near our house and then went home.
Back to work now after two fabulous weeks off - I really wish I didn't have to work...
I felt the Bean move a couple of weeks ago, a faint tapping inside down low on the left which was amazing but SO strange!

I still miss my twins a lot and I always will miss those first little babies who didn't get a chance to live, but the balloon release ceremony on their due date was a big symbol for me, and allowed me to release a lot of feelings I've had bottled up for a very long time. I feel more at peace now.

I'll check back in soon and let you know how we go with the next important scan - the morph scan - at 19 weeks in 3 weeks time.

Hope you're all well

PS - here is a pic of the Bean at 12 weeks attached


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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (4) | Permalink
DUE DATE

Dec 15, 2011 01:34am (EST)

Today is the twins' due date.
I can't help feeling very sad and I have had a couple of cries today, but it's not as overwhelming as I thought it would be - perhaps because I'm expecting again.
Tonight my husband and I are going to release two white balloons and messages to the sky to remember our babies.

I miss your cuddles little ones xxx
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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (6) | Permalink
DEJA VU

Dec 05, 2011 07:04am (EST)

Today was the first visit to the obstetrician for this pregnancy.
The Bean is measuring 10wks today and all is looking good!
It was hard going in: I was acutely aware that the last time I went in there he told me my twins had no heartbeats.
This time though, it was all good news which was reassuring for this basket case. The bleeding was due to the placenta growing over a major blood vessel, so it's me bleeding, not the baby or placenta.
The Bean just continued to wriggle away happily while the doctor talked to us about what we could see on the scan. I feel so relieved.

Only 8 days till the twins' due date, I am thinking of releasing 2 white balloons on the day.
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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (1) | Permalink
A MIDNIGHT RUN TO THE ER

Nov 30, 2011 10:09pm (EST)

Firstly thanks so much for all the messages, I really appreciate your thoughts...
It's been a panicky 24 hours from when I posted - shortly afterwards I had a gush of bright red blood and then cramping... so hubby and I tore off to the emergency department.
I was pretty resigned to the fact that I was m/c again.
We were there until midnight, they ran bloods, did exams and referred me for scans the next day as I wasn't an "emergency" case, given that this is a known intrauterine pregnancy and no risk of ectopic. Still, they were very kind.
The bleeding subsided while we were at the hospital, and I continued to have cramping on and off. No one in our house got much sleep - even the dog!
We went back to the hospital first thing in the morning for the scan, they ran repeat bloods and physical exams which all came back normal.
Then we went in for the scan - there was the Bean wriggling away happily, and a little heartbeat of 183bpm.
They found no trace of the blood or where it had come from, and they're not sure what caused it. Meantime until my obstetrician appointment on Monday I am taking time off work.
Scary stuff... hope there are no more fire drills like this - if it's not my mind playing tricks, apparently it's my body!
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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (4) | Permalink
GOING ROUND THE TWIST

Nov 29, 2011 07:38am (EST)

Update: another week, another drama.... Today I've started lightly spotting (much the same as when I lost the twins) so I've booked in for another scan urgently tomorrow (we see the Obs for the first time on Monday, but I don't think I can wait that long without going insane). Perhaps I can ask my GP if there's a drug they can give me which will put me in a dreamless sleep for the next 7 months while the baby does its thing?
I hope everything is OK, this merry go round of emotion is getting pretty draining, I just want everything to go smoothly and be a boring pregnancy.
Meantime I have put myself on enforced bed rest - work takes a back seat straight away.
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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (4) | Permalink
PADDED CELL?

Nov 17, 2011 11:10am (EST)

Apparently my mind is really playing tricks on me every time we're leading up to a milestone.
Happy, healthy little singleton baby with a heartbeat today on the scans.
I couldn't stop crying. I've put myself through mental torture the last few days over this... It was such a relief I wanted to cry, run, laugh, dance, clap and stamp my feet all at once!
Dear me, please bear with me as I go through these attacks of maudlin at various intervals here and so sorry (again!) for the dramatics!
Bring on Xmas and the 12 week mark...
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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (5) | Permalink
1ST SCAN TODAY OR FREAKOUT #2

Nov 16, 2011 07:38pm (EST)

I feel a bit like a basket case at the moment.
I'm convinced we're not going to see anything on the scan today, that it's all a phantom pregnancy, a dance of smoke and mirrors.
My husband keeps telling me to think positively - after all the last freakout was baseless.
I don't think that's a good enough reason - all my symptoms have disappeared and I feel resigned that I've lost this one.

I'll update once we've been for the scans today.
If nothing is wrong, this is going to be a terrible way to spend 9 months in this state of mind!
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Posted by MrsB | Comments: (2) | Permalink

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