Hailey
Haileybug - 12:31am May 1, 2012 ESTHayden (8-2011 miscarriage), Hailey (born at 22-6 on 3-6-12)This is my first time sharing my story...My husband and I have been trying to have children for almost 3 years now. We had finally found out in August 2011 we were pregnant, within that week we had miscarried at 5 weeks. That was a hard blow to find out our dream of becoming parents had come true only to be ripped away after a few short days of knowing we were expecting. Within 3 months we were pregnant again. The second pregnancy seemed to be going pretty smoothly. At 19 weeks I started having some cramping, went to my doctor thinking they would do an ultrasound and everything would be ok. To my surprise the doctor said I was already 2 cm dilated and they wanted to admit me then. I had an emergent cerclage placed that next day.
I went home a few days later on strict bed rest and again everything seemed fine, at my doctors appointments following the cerclage everything looked as good as it could since my cervix was only 3 mm prior to the cerclage. They couldn't measure any more cervix than they could pre-cerclage but everything was closed. At 21 weeks and 4 days while still on strict bed rest my water broke. We rushed to the hospital and stayed there on bed rest for another 9 days. Our previous little girl we thought was doing great, hoping to be in the hospital for at least 10 more weeks. On March 6 2012 our little girl was born, she fought so hard for 22 weeks and 6 days but her little body was too fragile, she stayed with us for 20 precious minutes. We will always love both our babies so much, we hope to give them little brothers/sisters to look over from Heaven soon. I have read so many other posts from mom's who have lost their precious babies too and it has been a huge help to know I am not alone, and that other's know what it is like to go through this horrible tragedy of losing a child. I know God will not give me more than I can handle but I just don't understand why parents would ever have to bury their child, it is not something anyone should ever have to endure. The short time we got to spend with our children has been such a blessing and I am honored that God chose me to be their mommy.
Haileybug
- May 11, 2012 12:01 am
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Hayden (8-2011 miscarriage), Hailey (born at 22-6 on 3-6-12) |
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Well we have had more testing done and so far all answers have come back negative as far as why we lost our little girl. We were told all during our time in the hospital that it wasn't infection but now all my doctor can relay it to is it must have been an infection. It is reassuring but heartbreaking when we get good results from the tests because it just again means no answers as to why she is no longer here. And then she says to me, well there is a good chance it could happen again, that is why we need to take all the oppourtunites we can to help your body carry the pregnancy. Great something to look foward to next time around, to worry about it the whole nine months. I just want reassurance that everything will be ok. Thank you all for your encouragement it means a lot. I have enjoyed reading everyone's stories and how they cope. 
[Last Editor: Haileybug, May 11, 2012 12:03 am. Total Edits: 1]
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brookeg
- May 11, 2012 12:55 am
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I am sorry that you did not receive the answers you want. It is such a hard pill to swallow and deal with. I still struggle with the why and it has been over two years. It has gotten easier but there are still days where I can catch myself starting to slide down the "what if" path. However after time I becam better able to cope with the guestions. A rainbow pregnancy is stressful... We know too much and our innocence is gone. I don't think I relaxed until she was put in my arms. Having a great OB and whole team of doc/nurses I trusted really helped me.
Wishing you peace
Brooke
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