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DON'T TOUCH MY BABY

[gammaraye]
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gammaraye

May 2013
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ONE STEP FORWARD AND A LEAP BACK

Jul 04, 2012 03:35am (EST)

Well Ariana was in intermediate care. But we had to get put back into intensive care. It seems like her vaccinations have wiped her out. So she was a little but lethargic so slept all day. She had to be put back on high flow due to some Brady issues, and had a blood transfusion. Since age gas had to wait in order to eat. I am waiting on two am so I can try to bottle feed her, and then maybe she can get in an open bed


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AND ONE MORE THING

Jul 02, 2012 05:21am (EST)

As if so much has not already happened, now she is being treated for Asthma. It has been a long day


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BREAKING POINT

Jun 30, 2012 01:43pm (EST)

Last night was my breaking point I totally lost it. First I walk in on the funniest scene my husband trying to clean up my daughter while poop is covering every single piece of anything in her isolette. He is trying and not succeeding. Then some nurse come over and gets us some new linen after we began searching for it. Then later my daughter desats I give her time to come back up and she cruises then goes back up cruises then goes back down. No nurse comes to help, and then one nurse comes over and from across the pod, another nurse yells is mom over there, don't touch her it makes them go back down. To me this is still a random nurse. So after 9 this nurse comes over and just start setting up to do an assessment but then walk away to talk to another family. Before walking away she says I can take her temp and change her diaper. I am like why but she walks off, I still don't know if this is her nurse. So by them I am extremely upset. My husband had just checked her diaper and temp 45 mins earlier. I didn't see the need to do it again. So I told her the temp and that he had just changed a blow out. So she checks her temperature again because she said I took it hours ago and that is where I lost it. Because hours ago I was at dinner and my husband had just drove from home and tried to hold her but her temperature was too low. So he was waiting and we let her try to warm back up. I told her she was just changed and had her temperature taken while you were with another baby 30 mins ago not hours. And then you cone over here being condescending and can't even let me know who you are and if you are her nurse. It just went on from there then she says after I tell her my husband drove one hour and thirty mins after working a twelve hour shift to be told he couldn't hold his daughter. Then you come and don't even tell me your name but you are doing things with my baby. She proceeds to tell me that she took her temperature again and it was still low but you can hold her now cause it is touch time. I asked her how contradictory can you be her temp was too low both tim


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Posted by gammaraye | Comments: (3) | Permalink
ITS BEEN AWHILE

Jun 27, 2012 03:26am (EST)

Ok so it has been a little over a week since I posted. I have been trying to get some things done. And spend time with my thirteen year old. This week has been crazy in a week she has recovered from surgery, gotten her central line taken out. Moved to the regular nasal canula, gotten to wear clothes, and the biggest thing of all she has moved to the step down unit. I was so shocked she was there , nut at the same time I am afraid and sad. Not because she is moving her way to going home. But because I will miss my nicu friends who have become family. There will be no more sitting up atidnight eating mint gelato, or raiding the refrigerator. Even though to me they are so young in comparison. To me they are like my girls I fuss over them and make sure they are ok. I will miss them makes me cry just thinking about it.


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FIRST FATHERS DAY

Jun 18, 2012 05:09am (EST)

Today has been an emotional day. It was my husbands first fathers Day and it didn't go as I had planned but it was wonderful. He had to go back home today and tried not to leave before he left. I held my daughter for him tonight. They took the bandage off today and I saw the stitches from her surgery it took a lot for me not to cry. She is only 42 days old with stitches. It broke my heart but she is doing so well now after the surgery gaining weight and looking cute. I but her to breast today and she actually seemed interested. I can't wait to get to breastfeed her. When she has her half moon shaped eyes open.


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TAKING A BREAK

Jun 14, 2012 04:58pm (EST)

I actually got out of the nicu. It is so odd not to sit and watch the monitors. O sit here getting my hair done and just wonder should I call and check on her. But I know I will be back in a few hours so I take a little time out
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DRAMA

Jun 12, 2012 02:09pm (EST)

Well the surgery went very well no complications.they had to put her on the oscillator in order to get off the bad gas. Had to put in an arterial line and give her a sedative to keep her still. The best part is she is still active. She has to be sedated to keep from ripping out her tubes. She is a fighter
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THE WAIT

Jun 11, 2012 12:47pm (EST)

Still waiting for her to have surgery. It seems like it has been like two years since I have seen her. My husband is with her but I can't be at her bedside cause I will cry too much and bring negative energy into the space so I am downstairs waiting to get the text that I can see her. I don't know why but I also I noticed that I make sure all my texts and posts are not negative or have a negative conotation. Like some things I want to say some things but they sound so negative
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TIME OUT

Jun 11, 2012 05:06am (EST)

They had to put Ariana on the ventilator to get her ready for surgery. During this time I talked,and laughed with my husband. It made me feel guilty at first but then I realized I have to take care of all of them. All three of them. I have to take time out for my husband that is just his time, and the same for my two girls. I have spent so much time crying I forgot how good my family makes me feel. I love my little bed bug Ariana, I love my big baby Ashantii, and I love my husband. My circle makes me whole . I live my family. My husband and I also watched the first episode of the new True Blood .


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Posted by gammaraye | Comments: (1) | Permalink
STRESS TODAY

Jun 10, 2012 07:07pm (EST)

Today has been a day. She had her first eye exam today and her retinas are immature but so far no problems. But tomorrow is the pda surgery. And I am a nervous wreck. I know there is nothing to worry about but I still do.
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