Good-bye Mason (23 weeks)

Hello and welcome to share. I am so sorry for the devasting news your received after so long in trying. I lost my son at 30 wks, he lived for only 30 minutes. There is nothing that can prepare you for the loss of a child. Grief is a rollercoaster of emotions, and while the pain will not go away it does ease in time. I really encourage you too make pictures with Mason. Don't rush your time with him. While you may not feel like looking at his photos right away. It is always nice to know they are there.
This site is great for support. I am wishing your family strength tomorrow
Thinking of you
Brooke

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Mason. There is nothing more heartbreaking for a couple to endure than the loss of a child. I agree with Brooke, taking pictures may not seem like the "right" thing to do at the time but you will eventually be grateful to have them. Please know that this site is a greate place to find support and solace in this time of unimaginable pain. The hospital should allow you to see him after the delivery, take your time with him and don't allow them to rush you. We are all here for you.
Laura

I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet Mason. I too know the pain of losing a child. My daughter was born at 26 weeks and passed away three days later.

You and your wife will be in my thoughts. Know that you can continuing support here as you travel this difficult journey of grief.

Marissa

Welcome to Share. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy Mason. I lost a son this same way and also heard those words of "no heartbeat." I hope that you and your wife will find the strength to hold your son and take pictures. It is so difficult, but they will be treasures to you both and will help in the grieving process. I know your hearts and dreams are breaking. Hold on to each other. She needs your support. Share is a wonderful site filled with support and comfort.

Thinking of you and sending you strength,

Lindsay

I am so sorry for the loss of your little angel Mason! I have been there just 2 months ago today..all good with appts and no heartbeat at 19 weeks ultrasound..I know how unreal and heartbreaking is this..we were very excited for our baby.I hope you both have the strength to meet him and hold him. I have found some comfort in knowing that we hold our little angel and kiss her good bye. Be patient with each other because it takes time to recover and there is nobody to blame for this..Mason is a little angel in heaven now. Please know you are not alone, people care about your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Sandy

Hello all. Thank you for all the support. Mason was born at 02:10 on Friday aug 17th. We were able to spend allot of time with him to say good-bye (will expand on this in a latter post). We tok pictures, had a blessing. Jan (my wife) is doing very well. The nurse Marianna was so kind and caring, to me she is a true hero. The delivery went very fast and well so they had a very good chance to see what went wrong. The cord was around his neck and looped under itself. Senseless but nothing we could do, nothing we did or did not do. Genetics came and talked with us and said no testing would be needed and that he was perfect as far as they could tell. Doctor talked to us and said when we were ready IF we wanted to there was no reason why we could not try again. We had given up years ago, but some one let us know HEY there is still hope. I always knew our baby boy was going to change the world and he already has.

Ok got some composure back.
There is a couple more things I need to share with everyone.
A number of years ago my mother in law through her women's church group were knitting little bunting bags for premies and still born babies and donating them to the local hospitals. She had one she had been working on but never finished that got put away and forgotten about. When we found out we lost Mason she remembered and dug it out and finished it. She said it added some dignity to the baby. Well I am sorry mom I have to disagree with you, it goes way way beyond that. Words cannot describe how much of an impact this has. No one should have to see their baby in a hospital linen that was washed 5000 times and starched flat. My mother in law is going to send me the pattern, and although obviously I do not know how to knit, I am going to make this pattern available to anyone who wants it. If anyone is looking for or knows someone who is looking for something to knit just for something to do makes just a couple of these and takes them to the hospital so many parents nightmare could have a little ray of light. Also they brought us a memory box for Mason. Just a craft box hand painted with a cartoon car on it. It had the tape they measured him with, a wrist band for him, a certificate card with the blessing, a card with his little foot prints, the bunting bag (they can't send him to the funeral home in it). Just a few dollars of cardboard and paint given by some one who cares had an impact that I will never be able to repay on the worst day of our lives. Once again I am no artist I can't even wrap Christmas gifts very well but there is a little card in the box saying the artist group "Memory artists". Now I am not trying to brag but I make ok money, so with their skills and my cardboard and paint.......... (sorry just had to stop for a second) with my card board and paint, and others I can get to help, No parents at the hospital we said good by to Mason in will have to leave without the memories of their little one.

I Just want to be clear.
I am not trying to fund raise as this is not the place to do it.
Until Friday I did not know that these bunting bags or memory boxes existed but I am sure glad someone did. The more people know about them, the more family's will have them when they need them.

Welcome to Share. I am so sorry for the loss of sweet Mason. I hope that you are able to find some comfort and healing during this hard time.

Katie

Well it has been 1 week less a day since we found out we had lost Mason. I am writing this today as I will not feel much like talking tomorrow. My wife Jan is doing very well and is coping. She is the strongest person I have ever known. I think I may be annoying her a little because I am waiting on her hand and foot. We made the funeral arrangements today but can not set the date as he will not be released to the funeral home until Saturday. Mornings are the hardest but getting a little easier. I hope I am not over staying my welcome on this thread with my constant nattering but I find the more we talk about it the easier it gets. I may have to turn this into a blog because in a couple of months we will be trying again and would like to be able to add a success story. Yes I know you should not make this decision in the state we are in but this was decided before we knew we were going to lose Mason. I also just want to thank all the people who helped us again, nurses, our doctor, grief counsellor, spiritual counsellor. Super heros are not people that can leap tall buildings, or shoot webs. They are the people that go to work every day and help people and give people hope when there is none, they are the heros to me.

Absolutely not overstaying your welcome! It might be easier to start a blog, though, which I found very helpful after losing my twins in Dec 2009. This is a long journey, and it really helps to have a place to "download" your thoughts and grief.

I cannot express how sorry I am that you lost Mason. My husband and I have struggled with infertility and it seems so very cruel that we should have to grieve not only our difficulty with conception, but also the hope that a pregnancy brings.

Those little things in the memory box are so important. They are all we have that belonged to our children. I cherish those items, although I swore I didn't want them when we left the hospital. I think a lot of times those boxes are done by people who've lost children. They are the only ones who understand.

Wishing you and Jan hope and healing as you move through these horrible days. Think about a blog. We would love to have you as part of our community.

Shannon

Like Shannon said you are absolutely not "overstaying" your welcome. When I first lost Baron over 2.5 yrs ago I needed to blog every 2-3 days and as time went on it became less and less. This really was a place that helped me thru my grief. My dh and I also started trying 3 months after our loss... Almost every doc said wait a yr except my OB who said that decision is yours... Your body has healed and there is nothing physical to delay trying.
Wishing you the best and keep blogging...
Brooke