My Struggle

Welcome to Share. I'm sorry to hear of your lil' one's early arrival. Momma, you didn't do anything wrong. It sounds like you had pre-eclampsia? It has nothing to do with what you ate, or how much water you drank. It's related to things you have no control over. You can do everything right and still get it- we did twice.

Be gentle with yourself momma, this will be a tough journey. Take it one day at a time.

Lauren

Hi and Welcome to SHARE. I'm glad you found us and congratulations on your sweet baby boy. I'm sorry you had to go through such a rough start. I also had a baby at 32 weeks gestation. I developed pre eclampsia almost overnight (which lead to other health issues-HELLP Syndrome) which lead them to induce me prematurely. She was in the NICU for about 3 1/2 weeks. I live an hour away, so I stayed there all day but had to go home at night. It was so hard.

You have to know that it was NOT your fault. I struggled with guilt after Kaitlyn was born because I felt like as her mom, I should have been able to do more, and it was my body that was causing everything. It was a really hard thing to overcome.

I understand your feelings. My advice would be to stay with him when you can, and get rest for yourself as well. If you have to go home to get a break from the stresses that come along with the NICU, don't beat yourself up! It's okay to take a walk, go home and shower and eat and all that stuff. You need those little times. Remember, he's never really alone.

I hope that you find support here and that you keep us updated on his progress. Hang in there and take it one day at a time

Sending (((hugs))) your way-
Julie

Hi,

I had my baby girl at 31 weeks - she was also small at 2lbs 11oz. I know what you are going through. I felt like it was my fault too, but there is nothing you could have done. Sometimes babies have their own plans!! I want to tell you to take it one day at a time. My little girl stayed in the hospital for about 8 weeks and it was very hard. I could not stay there with her the whole time. Only for the first few weeks, and then only on weekends because I had to go back to work.
Today, she is 9 months old, and very healthy and happy. I look back at some of her pictures from those first days, and cannot believe it is even her. Keep your head up - I believe your little man will thrive as well.

Hi and welcome to Share. Please remember what Lauren said, you had NO control over your blood pressure. No matter what you ate/drank it wouldn't have affected your blood pressure and the need to deliver early. It sounds like you had pre-e and there was nothing you could have done differently to have prevented it. I had it in both my previous pregnancies and did everything right. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your perfect pregnancy. Allow yourself to heal, and if that means taking frequent breaks from the hospital or none at all, do whatever will help you feel most at peace. Most importantly, take care of yourself. You can't be a part of taking care of your child if you aren't well rested and cared for. We are all here for you during this journey.
Laura

Welcome to Share and congrats on your little guy! The NICU is such a roller coaster of emotions. Hang in there, take some time for yourself and trust in your instincts.

Hugs,
Katie

PLease don't kick yourself! Pre-eclampsia is brought on by so many factors and to this day they are not aware of the true "cause" I had it too and I was so angry at myself, my doctor, my body, everything for so long...then a wonderful share mother told me I did the best I could with the information I had at the time. I am so sure you did too!
You are a good momma and if you need time out of the NICU let yourself so you can be there for that baby all the more later.
hugs,
kate