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MISSING AMELIA

mavancott

March 2010

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34 WEEKS!

Mar 09, 2010 01:17pm (EST)

My doc was very excited we made it this far, so I take that as a good sign

She doesn't think we'll have a problem making it the rest of the 2 weeks. And even said that next week we can go out to dinner for our anniversary (but can only be gone an hour). Hooray!

This Saturday is Amelia's birthday/the one year anniversary of when we lost her. I don't even know what to call it My mother-in-law asked what we are planning...I don't know. I just want to spend the day with my husband and plant some flowers for her and just remember her and celebrate her. I feel like she wanted us to plan something like dinner or who knows what, but I'd just rather keep it to ourselves. Maybe that's selfish since they lost a grand-daughter too. I just don't want a bunch of people around asking how I'm doing, that is the worst!

Then Sunday is my shower...I'm excited about it, but it's hard with it being so close to Amelia's birthday. (this was the only time my sister could come from Houston.) I think it would be hard even if it wasn't that close since we never had a shower for Amelia.

So many emotions!

Also, I wanted to let you all know that little Layla Grace joined our angels in heaven this morning. Please pray for her family.

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (3) | Permalink

LAYLA GRACE

Mar 05, 2010 06:41pm (EST)

I cannot stop thinking about my sister's neighbor whose two-year-old daughter is suffering from cancer. She has stage 4 neuroblastoma. Sadly, they think she is in the last weeks (or possibly days) of her precious life. I am amazed at the strength of this little girl and the number of people whose lives she has touched. Through social networking (Facebook, Twitter, and their blog), Layla's parents have begun to raise awareness for this type of cancer which unfortunately is very common. (On Twitter alone she has over 35,000 followers!) I am so sad for her family that they may soon know the loss of a child, like so many of us on Share.

I pray daily for a miracle for this little girl and wanted to share her story with you.

Layla's Blog

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (4) | Permalink

33 WEEKS!

Mar 02, 2010 09:36am (EST)

WOW! I am so thankful and excited to have made it this far! Even as boring as the bed rest is, it is definitely worth it and it's actually going by pretty quickly.

I am so scared though! Scared when I have a few contractions, thinking that we're so close to full-term but he could still be born prematurely. Scared when he has a quiet day and doesn't move quite as much. My biggest fear is that as close as we are that it will all be taken away. I am trying to stay positive and most of the time it works. But I have so much time on my hands and my mind starts to wander that way.

My next biggest fear is the actual delivery! I think I know what to expect, I've seen enough shows and talked to enough people. It's still scary until you actually go through it. And even though I sort of did go through it with Amelia, it won't be the same. With Amelia, the labor only lasted a few hours and she was so tiny that it didn't take much for her to come out. But William is probably around 4.5lbs already.

Knowing that we are so close to having a baby really makes me miss Amelia. I want a little girl so badly, but not just any little girl...I want Amelia back. It's coming up on 1 year since we lost her. I can't believe it's been that long already. I think about her and wonder what it would have been like if she was still here. It's hard not to dwell on that... The tree we planted for her is starting to bud, it should be covered in little pink flowers for her birthday, I'll post pictures when it does.

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm not totally excited for William to come. I cannot wait! As much as I know it is better for him to stay in there, I can't help but want him to come so I can see he's ok! I hope he's a little mama's boy

And my husband is super excited! He can't wait to teach him to play pinball and to take him camping. He's already asking how old he has to be before we can go camping.

Thanks for your support and well wishes!

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (5) | Permalink

31 WEEKS

Feb 17, 2010 02:36pm (EST)

We're at 31 weeks and 1 day now! I had a doctor appointment on Monday and we're doing great! Cervix is still at 1-2cm but is only at 60% effaced, so it's thicker than when I first went into the hospital...hooray!

I've done a lot of reading and a lot of watching TV! They should really have better shows on during the day! And even though it's that bad, I still get sucked in! I swore I wouldn't read those Twilight books, I thought they would be silly...but I read the first one in a day! Now I'll be moving on to the second

Today I had some friends from work visit and bring lunch. It was so great to see them! We have such great friends and family to help us through this!

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (2) | Permalink

AND EVERYTHING SEEMED SO NORMAL...

Feb 09, 2010 11:20am (EST)

I have been meaning to write for quite awhile, but you know how pregnancy makes you...tired and forgetful. This pregnancy has been so completely different from my last, so normal. We found out in December that we're having a boy! We are planning to name him William Duff (William after my grandpap and Duff after my dad...Pat thinks William is from his favorite pinball company, Williams - silly, I know). Besides being tired I've felt great!

Then last Tuesday I felt a little crampy and had a few contractions. My doc told me to go ahead and go to OB Triage. I figured they would monitor me for awhile and send me home. They checked my cervix and it was dilated to 2cm and 90% efaced. That totally freaked us out...I know I'm not supposed to be dilated yet! They gave me a shot of Terbutaline and admitted me. The Terbutaline didn't do much for the cramping or the contractions, so they gave me a steroid shot and started me on magnesium. The mag stopped the contractions (thank God!) and we were pretty quiet for the 24 hours till the next steroid shot and then through the following 24 hours to get past the window where the steroids would be effective. They stopped the mag on Friday and we were quiet all day...until my husband went home to check on the dogs. I started having contractions again, so they gave me Ibuprofen first, which seemed to work but only for about half an hour. Then they gave me Terbutaline again, then started me on Nifedipine. The Nifedipine seems to be doing the trick! After monitoring me a few days, I was released yesterday to go home and be on bed rest.

So today we are at 30 weeks! The docs told us the first goal is 32 weeks, that seems manageable! But my goal is 34

While we were in the hospital they did an ultrasound and William was 3lbs 3oz and in the 57th percentile. So I think we are doing well so far. I still have an occassional contraction, but my cervix hasn't dilated anymore and even thickened up a little bit.

If anyone has any suggestions on what to do while on bed rest I would love to hear them. So far I've been reading, watching TV, and playing on the Internet...it seems like this could get old quickly!

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (3) | Permalink

11 WEEKS!

Sep 28, 2009 06:36pm (EST)

I'll be 11 weeks tomorrow. Everything is going really well so far. Last week I had a doctor appointment and they found the heartbeat! I'm taking this as a good sign! When I was pregnant with Amelia they couldn't find the heartbeat at 10 weeks so we had to go for an ultrasound. In my head it's because they said the embryo attached high up this time, instead of lower like last time.

I thought I would be totally anxious and paranoid (I am a little) but I think I'm dealing with it pretty well. My doc has been awesome and my nurse said I can stop in anytime to hear the heartbeat. Pat's aunt also has a doppler thing and is going to loan it to us so we can listen whenever we want.

I found out that two of my friends are pregnant too. My oldest friend (since first grade) is due 4 days after me and another friend is due later in May. It's fun to share this with them!

Also, it's starting to cool down! Summertime in Phoenix is almost over, hooray!

Hope everyone is doing well!

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (5) | Permalink

FIRST DR. APPT AND ULTRASOUND

Aug 26, 2009 07:36pm (EST)

I had my first dr appt on Monday, it was actually with a nurse practitioner instead of my regular doctor. My nurse was so great! Before they called me back, she came out to the waiting room and asked how I was doing. She suggested that I say that I don't know when my last period was so that they would schedule an ultrasound. Then she came back a few minutes later saying she talked to the nurse practitioner and they'd schedule the ultrasound so I didn't have to say anything. The appointment went well and they just did the pelvic exam and bloodwork and asked if I had any questions.

Then this morning we had the ultrasound. It was such a relief to see the little heartbeat! I wasn't sure if they'd be able to see anything, but sure enough it was there. The baby measured 6 weeks and 1 day, putting my due date at April 20.

So I'm still feeling pretty good about everything. I hope everyone is doing well!

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (4) | Permalink

ANOTHER CRAZY WEEK...

Aug 13, 2009 07:57pm (EST)

UGH! I feel like this year has been a total roller coaster.

Saturday I found out that I am pregnant! Hooray! I am super excited and super terrified. I'm trying to just take it day by day and stay calm. My first doctor appointment will be Aug 24th. It looks like I'm about 4 weeks and due April 20, 2010.

On Wednesday, my boss passed away. He has been battling lung and brain cancer for the past year. I really admire that he was able to stay positive throughout his battle. He was a great friend and was a great comfort when we lost Amelia.

We tried really hard not to tell anyone right away about the pregnancy, but on Wednesday night we broke. We called my parents and sisters and told Pat's parents and sister at dinner. It was pretty awesome and everyone was so excited for us. Just a really great night.

Then today, my sister-in-law went to get her first ultrasound. They didn't find a heartbeat and told her she miscarried. The baby looked to be about 7 weeks and they thought she should have been at 10 weeks. I am so heartbroken for her. This was her second pregnancy, her first was perfectly normal and healthy. She has to have a D & C. I don't know a lot about them, so if anyone has information, I would greatly appreciate it. She is mostly concerned about the anesthesia, and doesn't want to be put under.

Now I'm pretty well set on not telling friends or anyone else for awhile. Let's just say I'm scared. I know that this can happen to anyone, but when someone has had a perfectly healthy, normal pregnancy before, you just expect the same. Then there's me, who didn't and I feel like I have even more of a chance to have problems. But like I said, I am trying to stay positive and just take it day by day. I know some of you have been through this, so if you have any pointers, please let me know

Thank you!

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (4) | Permalink

SLACKER

Aug 04, 2009 05:50pm (EST)

I'm a total slacker, I've been meaning to write on here for at least a month!

I found out my sister-in-law is pregnant...I'm happy for her, but I cannot tell you how hard it was to hear that. They were totally sweet about it and kept asking if we were mad and saying that it was a total surprise and they wanted to wait until we had gotten pregnant again. I'm really blessed to have such a caring family.

My due date with Amelia would have been yesterday. I did a lot better than I thought I would. I took the day off from work and finished the scrapbook that I started for her. Patrick was off by noon so we went to lunch and just spent the day together, it was a really nice way to spend such a hard day.

So this is going to be a short one, I need to get dinner going!

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (3) | Permalink

UPDATES

Jun 30, 2009 04:24pm (EST)

I found out today that one of my co-workers is in the hospital. She is 32 weeks pregnant and has preeclampsia. I don't know a lot about that, but she seems to be in good spirits and not too worried. They are planning to induce in the next few days. Please keep Megan and her baby in your prayers!

As for me...
My nephews (D-8 and A-5 1/2) are in town from Texas. My parents have had them for about a week now and Pat and I took them for the weekend. We had a blast - went swimming, to a baseball game, out for goofy golf, out for ice cream, and played a lot of Pat's pinball machines. Pat has loved pinball since he was a kid and he was SO excited that D wanted to play them the whole time we were home

I was exhausted by the end of the weekend!

I was asked to be Matron of Honor in a good friend's wedding. I was surprised she asked me since I know she has a bunch of friends that she's known for a lot longer. I was so happy and excited - it's so nice to know how important you are to someone!

I have a friend who has been struggling with getting pregnant and has had two miscarriages. Her doc put her on progesterone and they'll start clomid for her next cycle. I just found out that she isn't reacting well to the progesterone and feel so bad that she has struggled with this for so long. I try so hard to believe that there are reasons things happen, but it's so hard to see people you care about go through it. And I feel scared for my next time being pregnant. Last time I was blissfully unaware of what could go wrong and now I know so much.

We are officially trying again. I did this last time, and I'm back to it...every possible symptom makes me think I'm pregnant

I'm just trying to relax, be healthy, and see what happens.

Posted by mavancott | Comments: (3) | Permalink

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