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WELCOME, GUEST |
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(1 member)
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niylnnrae @a…6 |
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MY ANGEL LOVE
Angel Love |
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| Category: Home | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | | | | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
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IT'S REAL....
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May 22, 2013 05:48pm (EST)
Through the years of being a part of the Share Your Story community, I've shared the story of thinking that Shareunion was a "virtual" party with my "virutal friends" that members were discussing in the Cafe' thread. After pictures of the "real" Shareunion appeared, I made plans to attend the next year.
My "virtual" friends were very REAL and their caring hearts evident from day one! As the years have passed, I feel that my relationships have strengthened, and when one hurts, we all hurt.
On Sunday, I jokingly text a Share friend to see how close the storms were to her house. She said they were all safe and that they weren't too close for comfort. I went to bed with the reasurrance of her safety.
On Monday afternoon, I received a text from that same friend asking for prayers because new storms were extremely close. I prayed as she'd asked and turned on the TV to see the tornado destroy everything in its path. The time that passed between the initial text and the next seemed like an eternity. The knowledge of one of my friends in the path of such a powerful storm and helplessly watching was overwelming. The sound of my cell phone chiming with another text was such relief! My REAL FRIEND and her family were safe!!
My heart continues to break for the tragedy of everything surrounding her, but as I thought about the events of Monday afternoon, I know that even past the connection of losing our girls and the connection of scary pregnancies and the NICU, my friendship with her is REAL. When one hurts, we all hurt. It's just what Share is all about.
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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CONFUSING WORLD
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May 13, 2013 01:26am (EST)
For 9 years now, Mother's Day has not been my "favorite" day of the year. I love my mom with all of my heart and don't know what I'd do without her. I love my daughter with all of my heart and don't know what I'd do without her either. However, one of my little girls is not here for Mother's Day which is HARD. I have to just remember.....one breath at a time......even 9 years later.
Today was a beautiful day here! Sunshine and cooler temperatures. My family grilled out at my parents and enjoyed that sun while the kids played. Before the visit was over, we paused to take pictures to capture those memories. Several years ago, we did that with my grandmothers and those pics are cherished now that they're both gone. I want to remember the "sights and sounds" of today for years to come.
Spend time with your family and truly take the time to listen. A friend, neighbor, and well know community member took her own life on Friday afternoon. To the outside world, she had it all and many were "jealous" of her smile, attitude, and life. Apparently the inside world hid a world of hurts. Please pray for her family as they come to a "new normal" that none of them anticipated.
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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STEADY RAIN
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May 04, 2013 06:24pm (EST)
It's May-----and it's cold-----and it's raining. 
I am physically and mentally exhausted! A rainy day has a lot of benefits to tiredness, but it also gives you plenty of time to think. I don't always need time to think......
I think today will be a nice Taylor day when the tears are going to come no matter how hard I try not to.
(Deep Sigh.........)
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (9) | Permalink
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GRUMPY SMURF
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Mar 12, 2013 10:37pm (EST)
Do ya'll remember Grumpy Smurf?? He was the one with his arms folded that complained about everything and when he wasn't complaining, you could tell he wanted to. Lately, I think that's my title! 
Lately a little bit of everything has brought up an angry reaction in my body. No worries.....I'm not typing this from jail or anything, but do any of you get that way??? I hate it! I can tolerate it for that "week", but not all the time!
I realize that none of you can do a thing about this, but I'm hoping that by typing, it'll help empty my head a bit and I can relax. Either that or it'll make me madder that ya'll are doing nothing to help!!! (just kidding!!)
My job is a couple of steps above stressful this year. When anything is said about that "one more thing" that they need us to do, they assure us that next year will be better. Really?? I'm struggling to keep my cool, and am thinking a Walmart greeter might be the job for me.
Throw on top of that a 9 year old who acts like she's right in the middle of puberty and a dog that is finding new independence each and every day. I swear he has help coming in during the day to open doors and help him trash the place.
Along with these things, I have a friend who is trying to figure out which direction life is taking and even though it's not my problem, I am a friend and I think of it often. I also have two friends who just deployed to Afghanistan for a year and think of them often as well.
UGH....................
Now, like I said earlier, I know that none of you can break out your magic wand and fix it, but emptying the brain has helped in the past so I'm hoping it will now too.
Thanks for the ramble time.....
T
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (8) | Permalink
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WHO SAYS?
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Feb 28, 2013 04:31pm (EST)
Who says that life is going to get easier the more you know??? I think sometimes you get hit and knocked around more and more the more you know.
This week Ansley welcomed her baby brother to the world. Yep....BABY BROTHER! He is full term and healthy at 7 lbs. 9 oz. and I'll even admit....adorable! I'm hoping that the new addition to her life will be a good transition for her.
Obviously, I've known this was coming for a while now....like 9 months, but it didn't make it easier to realize on Monday. I am not able to give her a sibling at this time of life. Her sister waits on her in Heaven, but isn't much company here on earth. I know it's nothing that can be changed, but it certainly made me feel like that much more of a failure for her.
On to other things....today we headed off to school for a normal day, but by 10:00 I was getting a call from the nurse telling me that Ansley was sick. UGH----  I was not in the mood for her to have sickies, but I must admit that the couch is feeling mighty pleasant right now. Hopefully this is something minor and she'll be feeling much better sooner than later.
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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I "SEE" YOU!
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Feb 20, 2013 12:59am (EST)
Second (and last) day of winter break.....I can't said that I feel rested and rejuvenated, but do I ever??? It's back to the grind tomorrow and hoping for calm kids!
A few months back, Ansley told me that she was having a hard time seeing the board at school. She wears her glasses all the time so I wasn't sure if it was a "for real" problem or a way to get attention. I kind of brushed it off to see if she'd mention it again. I later noticed that she asked me to read the channel guide on the TV at home because it was in small type. Hmmm....guess an eye appt. was needed after all.
Today was the day, and after a thorough exam, we were off to Lenscrafters for a new pair of glasses.  She was excited, but my wallet wasn't!! Those things are pricey!! Anyway, after asking a million questions and figuring which option was cheaper, we have new frames and perscription on order and will be ready in about a week.
The positive side of the visit was that everything "looked good" according to her dr. and he saw nothing that concerned him. He said that after 2 1/2 years and a growing child, he'd expect to see some change in nearsighted vision. He checked the scar tissue from her ROP surgery and all looked good inside of her eye too. I'm definately happy about that!
Dramatic preemie parent news??? No.....but a praise report is always good too, right! 
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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VALENTINE'S DAY
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Feb 11, 2013 03:26am (EST)
Who thought up this "love day"???
I've often asked myself that question, but I totally get that it was a great marketing idea for someone!! Can you tell which side of the "love fence" I stand on??
My personal preference is that I would rather someone let me know in little ways all year long that they love me and need me than buy me something on one day of the year because it's the "thing to do". If your opinion differs...that's okay...it's why the world goes 'round.
Will I get my daughter a token of my love on that special day? Yep---what kind of mom would I be if I didn't? She knows all year round that she's special to me though and I think that's far more important. I never know when it might be my last time to let her know.....
I know this in one RANDOM post, but the brain needed a release and this is the place it happens.
I LOVE YOU ANSLEY!!!
I ALSO LOVE YA'LL SYS FAMILY!!!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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HOW?
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Jan 28, 2013 03:10am (EST)
Nine years ago I was forced into a situation that I never wanted to be in. My daughters were fighting for their life and one could fight no more. I had to say goodbye and learn how to live each day without her. In the heartache that surrounded that situation, I had to figure out a way to live each day for my other daughter and give her the mom that she deserved.
This mom wasn't the "perfect mom", but she deserved a mom who smiled at her accomplishments in the midst of the severe pain that was in her heart. My heart....
My rambling is because I think of the St. Clairs just beginning the journey that I've traveled for years. I know the extreme pain that cuts through your heart every time you think of how much you miss that sweet face. My heart hurts because there's nothing that I can say or do to ease that pain for them.
I'm frustrated because I should be able to remember the "keys" to getting through the difficult times, but I don't remember anything that took the pain away. I know they're going through the same things. I still have "Taylor Days" when I just need to cry about how much I miss her and what I'm missing in her life. Is that an encouraging thought for a family who just lost their son? I don't know..... it's taken me 9 years to get here.
I'm frustrated because I don't know how to offer help to the woman who has encouraged me beyond what I ever knew I needed. I don't know how to help her smile for Alex and Jack and I don't know how to help her stay strong when she feels like she can't keep going on.
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (10) | Permalink
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TODAY....
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Jan 12, 2013 02:20am (EST)
Today.....am I living life?
I've been a member of SYS for 6 years and followed the posts of a core group of members for a number of weeks before finding the courage to post myself. One of those core members was Kate St. Clair.
Kate was so welcoming and offered so many words of encouragement when I didn't know how much I really needed them. You see, I found the site while searching for fundraiser ideas.....only then did I find out that I wasn't alone in this journey of life and that I truly needed others who understood my "world". When I needed an answer to a serious question, Kate was there, and when I needed someone to laugh with, again....Kate was there.
Through the years, I've come to know and love the St. Clair family even though I've only met one of them in person. I've celebrated the little things with them, and worried and cried over the big things.
This week the biggest of big things happened, and my heart broke with the news of Kyle's death. Does my heart feel like Kate, Mark, and the kids' hearts? No.....but do I know how much it hurts? All too well......
Every post, t-shirt, bracelet, etc. held the words "Live Life for Today". I get so busy that I sometimes forget those important words and I miss it. Kate, Mark and the kids have spent the last months soaking up ever minute to the fullest not knowing what the next moment would bring. I want to do that too. I'm not promised tomorrow myself so living each day to the fullest is the best idea to follow.
I hope that Kyle's love will reach out to all of you because that little guy has taught so many people so many things in his life that many will never take the time to know.
St. Clairs----We love you!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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AHHHH.....
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Dec 22, 2012 03:08am (EST)
I'm reluctant to let that sound escape from my mouth, but the title says it all.
I've been seriously overwelmed for months. With my full time job and my classes coming to the end I've been so stressed.
I graduated last Saturday and walked for my daughter to see what I'd worked so hard for. I really felt it was important for her to see the reward for my hard work and hopefully it'll help her to want to do the same. It probably sounds crazy, but at 9 she's still impressionable.
My Christmas shopping was not done and I still had 3 days of teaching left before the break. My students' gifts and Ansley's teacher's gifts had to be top priority, but the rest of my family's gifts weren't bought either. The major problem....I didn't know what I wanted to get for them either!
Day 1 of Christmas Break: Rain (lots of rain)---I had to go shopping.....  Some gifts checked off, but not all.
Day 2 of Christmas Break: Wind (major wind) and COLD! ---I had to go shopping... Check, check!!! All done!
At this point, I have no idea if I have everyone the right thing, but tomorrow will be wrapping day and I'll cover the gaps after that!
I love Christmas and enjoy the docorations and the "magical" feeling that surrounds this time of year, but shopping is UGH!!!
I'll be checking in, but if I don't post again before then.....
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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