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MY ANGEL LOVE
Angel Love |
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GROWING PAINS
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Feb 06, 2012 05:25pm (EST)
I've heard so much about growing pains. I know that usually means that there's not room for everyone as the family grows whether it's in the house or the car, or wherever, but here are some of MY growing pains as Ansley grows.....
Teen Nick, Nickolodean, Disney shows constantly 
The begging for a cell phone, ipad, laptop, etc. without a thought to how much those items actually cost and how the bill is paid.
ATTITUDE!!! Yes, already!
Extremely slow movements when I'm in the biggest hurry.
Lack of care regarding personal appearance.
Naive (naivity) regarding friends who aren't good friends.
I know that the growing pains will be tougher as we approach and go through the teen years and I'm super happy that I have the opportunity to go through these growing pains at all, but there has to be a medicine to help mommies deal with all of this attitude. 
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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FRUSTRATION LEADS TO STRESS
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Jan 18, 2012 01:13am (EST)
Have you ever noticed how a simple thing that begins to frustrate you leads to you being stressed, and you being stressed leads you to being ill (angry), and you being angry hurts others, and hurting others makes you feel bad, and.......well, you get the picture!
As a teacher, I find it frustrating that the goal of teaching children how to be successful in life often times gets turned into anything but that. Money issues, paperwork, and politics often wins out when we're suppose to be educating the leaders of tomorrow.
This year, our county is facing a major budget crisis yet again. If you remember last year, I was in the middle of changes for the county. I was a "lucky" one who only had to pack my things and move to completely new school, but others walked away without a contract for the next school year.
We were all hoping that this year would hold even and that we wouldn't face those fears again....no such luck! Being in a small town, we naturally don't get the same amount of money from the government as a larger county, but it's not enough.
Our Board of Education is working day and night to look at every option to cut spending and yet save our teachers and support staff. This year, we're facing having to close one or more of our elementary schools. With these closing will come consolidation....
I know that you all know that change is tough!! Try change in a southern small town, and it's especially tough... Nobody understands why things can't always stay the same and why we can't use the other "pot" of money to pay for teachers. It's so frustrating!!! Kids are overall pretty resiliant, but parents and other grownups aren't.
Change is hard! Change is frustrating! Change is stressful! Change makes people angry! Angry people hurt others' feelings......see where this is going?
I type this for two purposes...(1) to get it out of my head!! (2) to let you know that if I'm not around as much, it's not because I don't want to be here, but some days I just need to unwind my brain rather than stare at a computer.
You're always in my thoughts and I know you're all wishing you could send millions my way to allow me to just not have to work at all, but really, that's too kind of you!!
Hugs to everyone!!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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LEARN SOMETHING NEW
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Jan 05, 2012 01:58am (EST)
You know the saying, "You Learn Something New Every Day?", well, I learned something new about my own family today.
On Christmas Day my great aunt passed away after a short illness. My grandmother and aunt were pretty close sisters-in-law, but me--not so much. I can just imagine those two catching up on all the "happenings" in Heaven. They were both such characters here on earth!!
Anyway, I was able to go to the visitation, but due to Ansley's schedule, was not able to make it to the funeral the following day. My father was a pall bearer therefore both of my parents attended the funeral and graveside service.
While there, my mom noticed that my great grandparents on my dad's side were also buried in the same cemetary. She noticed that my great grandparents lost a child who was 5 years old. Now, I know that children could suffer from illnesses that we wouldn't find threatening during this day and time, but still the pain of losing a child.... Anyway, mom went on to tell me that the 4 sons that I know as my "PawPaw" and his brothers were born after this first child's death and after those 4 children, she had 4 more children that died as infants. My great grandmother must've been one amazingly strong woman---saying goodbye to 5 children..... (The last 4 were born every 2 years....and died)
I think of the support that I've been given from Share and the community that surrounds me, but can't imagine living in the 20's and having to go through this alone.
You definately do learn something new every day. Sometimes when you feel like you're so alone in a situation--even within your own family--you're not.
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (9) | Permalink
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MISSING AN ANGEL
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Dec 24, 2011 06:38pm (EST)
I can't believe it's Christmas already..... Seems like it was just yesterday that we were celebrating Christmas 2010. Time sure goes much faster when you're older.
This year has been so crazy with a new school, new classes (for me), new school schedule, and normal wildness that it's been hard to get into the "Christmas Spirit". Normally by now it's a bit chilly which makes us all wish there was snow on it's way. It never is (except last year), but at least it "feels" like Christmas. This year, our temps have been in the 70's and it feels like spring more than winter. In fact, there were tornado warnings a few nights ago. Today it's a bit cooler, but still no hope of snow.
As always, the Christmas season brings some questions to mind. What would Taylor think of Christmas lights? What would she ask Santa for? What would be her favorite thing to eat? I'm missing my angel. No matter how many years pass since last seeing her, the magic of Christmas always makes me wonder.
I hope that you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (8) | Permalink
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AND THEN ....
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Nov 23, 2011 03:30pm (EST)
And then it was Thankgiving!!!!!
Who is spinning this time so fast??? So many things have happened in this past month....Let's see what I can remember.
First of all, and the most important to me as a parent, is that my daughter was BAPTIZED last weekend! When Ansley was 5 months old, we had her dedicated to the Lord. In our church, this means that we, as parents, promise to raise her to love the Lord and teach her about His love for her. That date was November 16, 2003. Without planning it at all, she was baptized on November 13, 2011! The same pastor who did her dedication also did her baptism! So special!!!
In other news....I had to go for my first mammogram about 3 weeks ago. It was suppose to be the "baseline" and I wouldn't have to return until I turned 40. Um, yeah----  The drs didn't like what they saw and therefore I had to return for another torture session the following week. Don't get me wrong, I will voluntarily go to find out what is going on so that we can treat, prevent, or whatever, but that's not fun! The second visit provided 2 1/2 hours of squishing, squashing, mashing, and ultrasounding! They finally came up with cysts that were not a problem, and want to see me again in 6 months. Oh the joys that I have to look forward to to start my summer!!
Now for the thankful part...... I'm thankful for a break from boob squishing! I'm thankful for a little girl who drives me totally insane most days, but I wouldn't trade her for the world. I'm thankful for a fuzzy little puppy who keeps me company no matter what. I'm thankful for AIR CONDITIONER right now, and HEAT later in the week! I'm thankful for friends who will celebrate a Bulldog win from across the country! I'm thankful for days off! I'm thankful for my family and that they all live nearby. I'm thankful for Share friends and the support, laughs, and craziness that you all share with me! I'm thankful that when it all feels too overwelming, I can go back to one breath at a time.
HAPPY THANKGIVING Y'ALL!!! 
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (10) | Permalink
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A MONTH LATER
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Oct 30, 2011 09:05pm (EST)
A month has gone by since I last blogged..... It's hard to believe another month of my life and Ansley's life has gone by so quickly.
A month ago, I was overwelmed with an 8 year old having "hot flashes" and planning something that means the world to me, SU2011. Today.....both have passed and it's time to prepare for what lies ahead for the next year.
I'm sure there are more things to overwelm me. It seems that those things come way too often, but I do know that when things get crazy that I have ya'll to back me up and be there. It's just like the poem that was read during the Remembrance Ceremony....when you don't know what to do, you're still the friends that are always here.
Thanks for always being here!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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REALLY?????
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Sep 28, 2011 12:58am (EST)
I came here years ago to talk to others who understood my heart. I also came here to cheer others on and let them know that they're not alone.
How many times have I been the one telling others to live each day without worrying about the "other shoe" dropping on them???
I thought of that today......on my way to the pediatrician.
Ansley has had some weird issue lately. She's having "hot flashes"!!! Really???!!!! Yeah! She's 8!!!!!!  Nothing hurt, nothing else strange, just random hot flashes and sweating like she'd run a race only she hadn't........ After having another one last night and then one at school this morning, it was time to call the peds office and quit making excuses for what I thought it was.
I HATE doing that...... Why can't we have common junk like everyone else???
We went over today and talked with her ped. We checked hemoglobin, checked for Mono, and checked for strep. We checked lymph nodes (found one larger than necessary) and waited..........the results of the day----STREP!!! What???????
Dr. thinks that her body was trying to fight it off without meds and that there really was a low fever that I wasn't noticing because it's still so hot down here and she's not acting different. When those fevers were breaking, she was having the "flash" and sweating. Antibiotics for 10 days.
If after 3 days the hot flashes still happen then go for further testing....thyroid, etc. He thinks this will knock it out though. I sure hope so. I tell ya, if it's weird or out of character, it's going to happen to me.
I'm praying that there is no "other shoe" in our life.....guess all there is to do is watch and see.
Hugs!
T
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (10) | Permalink
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OHHHHHH.......STILL THERE
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Sep 21, 2011 11:29pm (EST)
When I have those moments in life that just feel too overwelming, I have to stay busy so that I can deal with it best.
Lately, I've been overly busy---teaching, taking classes myself, shuttling Ansley to the different activities that she's a part of, getting laundry done, haircuts, etc., etc., etc......
This past weekend, I started feeling blah....No explanation just blah! I have so much on my mind and yet nothing productive. I just can't keep focused on anything and don't want to be bothered.
Today, it hit me that my EDD is Sunday............yep, it's still there! Do I ask myself all the "what ifs" again? NO---there's no point, but I'll always remember what should've been.
It just goes to show that no matter how busy you are, the important things in life will always make it to the top and my girls are the most important things that ever happened to me...even though their arrival was 3 months early.
I guess this is for those who ask will they ever feel better----
it gets easier, but it's always going to be there in your heart!!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (10) | Permalink
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WHERE WERE YOU??
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Sep 05, 2011 03:01am (EST)
There are several times in my life that I can remember like they were yesterday. One of these being the 15 hours of Taylor's life. Time references are a blur, but the sights, sounds, smells, etc. are still very fresh. Even 8 years later, they're still very fresh.
Ten years ago, another event happened that changed my life. One that I will never forget....the terrorist attacks on the United States. MY United States!
I was teaching Kindergarten at the time and had gone to the office to speak to my boss about one of my students. He was watching TV in his office and I glanced at the TV and saw one tower with flames coming out. I asked what was happening and he said that a plane had crashed into the building. I remember telling him that it must've been a terrible accident. I stood there and watched for a few minutes and it was at that time that we watched the second plane hit the second tower.
I remember us both saying, that it was not an accident. We continued to hear updates and heard the news of the Pentagon, and I remember feeling so sick! What was next...? I was in charge of 20 five year olds during that time. Was something going to happen to our school too?? Terrified doesn't begin to decribe it.
My students were way too young to see what was happening in their "perfect" world, but they weren't too young to feel the tension throughout the building and know that something was not right. Adults looked concerned and that's all it takes for kids.....
After getting in touch with my loved ones, I felt better, but couldn't wait to get my hands on them for hugs at home. I remember clearly watching the coverage all night long. I remember climbing out of bed the following day to watch the coverage. I cried for those people, I cried for people that I didn't even know......they could've been me. They could've been my family....
This past May, I had the opportunity to visit NY. One destination that I had on my "list" was the site of the WTC. I knew that it was a ton of construction now, but I had to go there...to see where this horrible event took place. To pay my respects to those who had lost and given their lives on that day in September, 10 years earlier.
As I walked down the street, I kept thinking of all the people who may have been doing the same things that I was doing....site seeing. I thought of the people who were reporting to work on that beautiful morning thinking about how their clothes fit, an upcoming meeting, or what they were going to do for lunch.... I thought about what it must've felt like on the days following when air traffic was once again allowed to fly over NY.
So many things changed that day in MY United States.....life continued despite the horror that many families were experiencing. New appreciations were formed for those who volunteer their services in the armed forces for our protection as well as those who protect us locally each and every day.
Ten years later, I remember.....where I was, what I saw, and how I felt. I hope that all of you will also stop and remember the changes in OUR America on that day.
Honoring those who have gone before us is a gift that we can give. Take the time to do so next Sunday, September 11, 2011.
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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REASSESSMENT
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Aug 28, 2011 10:09pm (EST)
Okay---so my last post was the sadness of my heart as my daughter adjusted to a new school. I'm happy to say that in reassessing the situation---she's doing much better! 
Things aren't great, but she's making new friends and understands that it's going to take time to feel as comfy there as she did at our old school.
Our new schedule is more than overwelming to me....7:30-5:00 four days a week. Sounds pretty good considering that Mondays are "free days", but since school started, I've had training on Mondays. Even though there are lots of people who work till 5:00 each day, there are few who don't get a lunch break away from their job. Makes for interesting days in paying bills, getting haircuts, etc.
Next week, Ansley starts tennis! I'm hoping that this will be a great outlet for her and that she'll really enjoy it. It breaks my heart that she doesn't follow her momma's footsteps and play softball, but at least this is active and if she enjoys it....I'm happy! Who knows....this might lead to a scholarship in her future!
In other news....high school football kicked off this past Friday and next week kicks off college football for the SEC! You girls know how my heart flutters at the thought of college football so be ready for my silliness!
.....for Jackie, let's have a moment of silence as her hubby is a referee and stays quite busy this time of year.... 
In true Tracy fashion and with full southern drawl.....
GOOOOOOO DAWGS!!!!!!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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