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WELCOME, GUEST |
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(2 members)
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Akeelah's Mo…6 |
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girlyhurley6 |
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OUR FULL-TERM PREEMIE
AandO |
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| Category: Home | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
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DST
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Mar 16, 2010 11:35am (EST)
I grew up in Indiana. Way back in the day, we didn't do daylight savings time. I grew up a bout six miles from the Ohio border and about twenty miles from the Michigan border. They did daylight savings times.
As a kid I kind of thought DST was stupid.
Then I grew up and moved to Chicago, where they're on Central time and it was fine.
A couple of years ago the state of Indiana joined the twenty-first century and began observing day light savings time.
And it sucks.
I think the problem is that we're the most western edge of Eastern time. Which means that even in March, the sun isn't going down until 8:00pm. I don't even want to think about how bright it's still going to be at 10:00pm come June.
This time change is kicking our butts around here.
I know, I know. People have lived with and complained about it since the idiots in charge decided to started messing with their clocks.
Last Sunday, the first day of this ridiculous practice, Olivia's little body thought I was trying to get her to go to sleep at 7:00. Which, you know, even though the clock said 8:00? It was really 7:00. But anyway, she tossed and turned and made the following requests in quick succession:
"My back is itchy. Scratcha my back."
"I'm hot, take of my jammies."
"Scratcha my feeties."
"My elbow itches."
"I'm hungry."
"I need a drink of water."
"I wanna rock."
"I wanna rock in the living room."
She finally fell asleep at 9:30 (clock time.)
Last night it much the same.
Both girls act like I'm waking up at 3am each morning (which is NOT true, even according to 'clock' time.)
Tonight, I'm going to try to get them to bed by 7:30 (really 6:30!  ) and see if tomorrow morning is easier for them (and me.)
Oh yeah, this is the end of the rant.
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Posted by AandO | Comments: (1) | Permalink
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CHOICES
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Mar 15, 2010 07:07am (EST)
This past Saturday was the first one in six weeks that we didn't have to make a 65 mile drive (ONE WAY!) so that Alyssa could play soccer. It was also the one week between soccer leagues. Which means started this coming Saturday, we're going to resume making that 65 mile ONE WAY drive so she can play an hour of soccer.
Ahem.
Yeah.
So we all make choices every single day. We choose to get out of bed. We choose between corn flake or Rice Krispies...or no, wait, Cheerios! Yeah, Cheerios.
Most of these choices are small, not really all that important.
This weekend, I made a choice, that at the time, seemed small. But in hindsight, I think it was pretty important after all.
I chose to take Alyssa rollerskating.
She'd only ever been once before. We'd driven all the way to Indianapolis so that we could attend a skating party for Miss Rileybug herself. 
That was a year ago.
Alyssa's been wanting to roller skate again ever since. And there's never time.
Isn't that the way of life? There's never time.
I told her this weekend that after we bought groceries, we'd drive by the local roller rink and check out the open skate times.
She was beside herself with excitement. She just couldn't stand it.
After finding out the times, I told her we were going to go home, have lunch and start cleaning the upstairs 'playroom' (which is actually just the landing at the top of the stairs but there are so many flipping toys up there right now there's a tiny little walkway between the banister and the toys that threaten to cascade down the stairs at any minute.) and that if we got the upstairs clean enough, we would leave Olivia at home with Daddy and go skating.
Her face fell. She fought tears.
I asked what was wrong.
Fighting her disappointment, she muttered, "We're never going to get that upstairs clean enough. We're not going to skate."
I didn't exactly laugh at her. But I did smile. Because, seriously? That upstairs is trashed and she was right, we probably wouldn't get it clean.
When we got home I made lunch and Alyssa ate her morosely, still saddened by her certainty that we were not going roller skating.
Tom arrived about a half hour after we did and I told him the plans. We discussed the times of the open skate and after a very small amount of thought, I announced to Alyssa that if she finished her lunch in the next five minutes, we'd leave for the skating rink.
It is truly amazing how quickly a seven year olds mood can go from despair to elation.
We'd decided that there were less likely to be hoodlums at the 1pm - 4pm skating time than the 7:30pm - 10:00 skating time. We also figured O might nap for Tom better than she does for me.
So off we went.
And it was so much fun.
It was also much needed for Alyssa to see that I will put her first once in awhile. Yes, she needs to know that she can't always get what she wants right that second. But she also needs to see that I can put aside the mundane for a couple of hours and have a little fun once in awhile. The upstairs got cleaned on Sunday and I think a most excellent memory was made.
Oh yeah, we're going to do it again. Hopefully it won't take another year before I make time for this kind of fun again.
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Posted by AandO | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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BAD
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Mar 12, 2010 12:51pm (EST)
This day took a turn for the worse before it even started. Last night, when it became apparent that Alyssa wasn't going to be asleep at her usual 8:00, I knew that today would be bad.
I was right. Our morning started off with growling (me), tears (Alyssa), sadness (Olivia, who actually muttered, "I'm sad." to me in the bathroom. So very guilt-inducing to hear one's three year old say those words, especially when one sort of knows it's because she was MEAN upon getting out of bed.) and frustration (Tom) and whining (me and Alyssa.)
Yeah, we ran the gamut of bad moods this morning. It didn't help that neither Alyssa nor I got enough sleep. See, Alyssa learned about some stupid star this past week in school. This star was created by the head of some woman in mythology who was so evil that people couldn't look at her without turning to stone (Gorgons? Medusa?) and some guy used a mirror and killed one of them and now, OMG Alyssa's to scared to fall asleep in her own bed. Egads! I'm thinking about homeschooling more and more. But seriously, I finally carried her 53 pound self to her own bed at 2am and got three whole hours of, well, better, but still not good, sleep.
Nor did it help that Olivia STILL won't sleep without me next to her. I was so very, very frustrated when, at 5am, I attempted to slip out of bed only to have her rolling over and sitting up the instant my feet hit the floor.
I told her to lay down and go back to sleep.
She didn't.
I insisted that she didn't need to get up with me and that having even ten minutes by myself might make me a nicer mommy.
She disagreed. She evidently thinks I'm perfectly nice even on three hours of sleep.
And then she proceded to tell me that she's sad. 
Alyssa woke up whining. First she wanted her cereal (she's on a Rice Krispies kick) in the living room where she could watch Martha on PBS. Tom and I both insisted she come to the kitchen and eat at the table like a civilized human being.
Five minutes later, I came out of the bathroom to find him carrying her probably soggy cereal to the living room. Whatever, by then we had fifteen minutes before we were leaving and she still wasn't dressed.
I yell at her to get dressed. She whines that she needs help...ugh, I'm annoying myself with this recount.
Suffice it to say, it was ugly all the way around.
On the bright side, we made up during the hour-long commute. 
Olivia wants to badly to be 'normal.' And usually, she just sort of is. But then something happens to remind us all that she's still behind, at least where gross motor skills are concerned.
She and Alyssa were having a blast yesterday afternoon, running in the misty fog, enjoying some spring-y weather. And then...O was hopping along, her feet slipped out from under her and she hit the ground hard. She ended up with abrasions on her nose, chin and lips. And the tooth that was already injured got knocked around again. I'm not sure if it's loose or not, I didn't want to mess with it.
But it made me feel awful. Of course, the slip wasn't my fault, but it ruined the great fun of the evening. Olivia still doesn't have much of a reflex. When she falls, her whole little body just hits the ground. Her muscles just can't react fast enough to let her use her hands to break her fall. And of course, when our kids hurt, we hurt.
Alas, she's three. Three year olds fall, right? they get bruises, they get scrapes. I can't wrap her in bubble wrap and keep her safe until she twenty. I want her to run with her sister. I want her to get stronger and the only way she will is to run, to play, to jump and yes...to fall.
Some pictures...Alyssa after her last soccer game last week (the next league starts next week.) And Olivia...in a hat because Tom couldn't think of a better way to keep her from pulling her hair.
Soccer Medal
Hat 3-12-10
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Posted by AandO | Comments: (2) | Permalink
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TOLERANCE
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Mar 11, 2010 06:27am (EST)
Over the past five months or so, Olivia has accompanied my mom and step-dad to countless doctors' appointments. My step-dad hurt his foot back in September. He was off work until Christmas and then, just when he was almost healed, he broke the same foot.
He's scheduled to return to work next Thursday. He's dreading it.
They went to an appointment earlier this week and my mom mentioned that Olivia was very good as usual. She said, "She travels well. She's easy to take places."
It took me back to the early days of O's life when she didn't travel well and when she wasn't easy to take places.
Olivia was such a miserable infant. She cried all the time. If she wasn't eating or sleeping, she was crying.
We were all pretty much miserable during the first six months of her life.
But as always, time heals. Time helps you gloss over those rough days and then one day you wake up and you no longer have a screamy three month old who doesn't like anything at all. Suddenly, you have a cheerful three year old who happily hops into her car seat and chirps the entire two hour drive to a dance marathon where she dances the night away with nary a whimper or a whine.
I mentioned all this to my mom and realized that while those early days were miserable, we were lucky to get through them to these much sweeter, happier days.
Quite honestly, society is much more tolerant of a screamy infant than they are of a whiny, naughty preschooler.
I got a lot of looks of sympathy when O was tiny. A lot of cashiers smiled gently and worked a little faster to get us through their line when O was at her screamiest.
I see so many people roll their eyes at a misbehaving toddler or preschooler. They're probably thinking the parents of that child are too lenient or that the kid is just a brat.
We never know what might be affecting a family or causing a child to misbehave or act out.
I'd like to become more tolerant myself and hopefully pass on the sympathy I got when O was an infant. A little extra kindness and tolerance can't hurt in this big bad world of ours.
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Posted by AandO | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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SPIT TAKE
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Mar 09, 2010 11:54am (EST)
While Olivia didn't have any major eating issues as an infant (except reflux, which, thank goodness, was controlled by Zantac once it was FINALLY prescribed when she was four months old, despite my insistance from one month on that she was in gastric pain, but well, I'm not bitter...)
Wait, where was I? Oh, that's right. She didn't have any major issues other than the reflux. Except that she was a hoarder. She'd pocket chunks of chewed up food (obviously this started once she was on solids, kind of hard to pocket pureed food...hmmm, another tangent, sorry.)
So yeah, she pocketed her food. In her cheek. Like a squirrel.
After every meal, I'd (or my mom, or Tom, whomever happened to be feeding her at the time) have to go in and scoop out the food from between her cheeks and her teeth.
It was gross.
It was necessary.
One night, I forgot to do this before bed....
We woke up the next morning to find that she still had chewed up popcorn in her cheeks. It was NASTY. Poor kid. It's a wonder she didn't choke on that stuff.
See...she didn't know how to spit the stuff out. She couldn't figure out how to use her tongue to push the unwanted food out of her mouth.
So when she was done eating, she'd just pocket that last bite, neither chewing and swallowing nor spitting it out.
We figured out pretty quickly that once she pocketed a bite of food, she was done eating.
In the past week, she's learned how to spit.
Much celebrating has ensued in our house as O spits out gum, chewed up grapes, chunks of cheese.
It's awesome because, hello, the poor kid no longer has to have people cramming their fingers into her mouth to clean out her cheeks.
Who knew we'd someday celebrate a child learning how to spit? 
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Posted by AandO | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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BELONGING
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Mar 08, 2010 12:47pm (EST)
I shared Olivia's story at the Purdue University Dance Marathon over a week ago and I'm still feeling, well, odd about it.
Not weird about telling her story. I love talking about Olivia (and Alyssa). Obviously.
But weird in that, well, our story isn't all that dramatic.
Not that I want it to be.
But...well, I listened to these other parents (well, and kid, hi Riley  ) talk and I heard these stories of how Riley Hospital for Children saved the lives of these kids and I think, "Wow, we were never really worried that Olivia might die."
Well, not after the first few days in the NICU, at which point, her biggest requirement was to prove she could take a certain amount off milk/formula in a specific amount of time. She'd become a feeder and grower.
I even said, while on that stage in front of all those college students, "Riley didn't really save Olivia's life. But it did save my sanity."
And I started wondering where we belong. We're not a typical family. We have our struggles. But...I'm so full of annoying good cheer these days (when I'm not stressed out, right?)
While O is still behind her peers, she's doing amazingly well. She's full of energy and pep and a sudden stubborn streak that makes me want to scream sometimes (often in joy and often in frustration.)
Did I belong on that stage?
Do I belong here?
After I shared my story at the dance marathon a woman came up to me and asked me if 5p- is the same thing as Cri du Chat Syndrome. I confirmed that it is.
She went on to tell me about a young woman she knows. This young woman's fetus was diagnosed with 5p- in the third or fourth month of gestation. The doctor who made the diagnosis urged the young woman to terminate the pregnancy because, he insisted, her child would be born deaf, blind, with several organ deformities that are incompatible with life.
I've said before that I'm glad we didn't know about O's diagnosis before she was born. This is one of the reasons.
When we got O's diagnosis, our developmental pediatrician urged me not to look up the syndrome online because all the information is outdated. By like 30 years. 
The young woman who ended up terminating her pregnancy still feels guilt over her decision. I wonder if her doctor was truly able to tell how much of a deletion the fetus had or if he/she was going by outdated information found in books and online. I wonder, if that young woman could have seen my child, my amazing, beautiful, defiant child, if she would have made a different decision.
Please know that I'm not condemning her. She made the best decision she could under horrific circumstances.
But...I could have been given that exact advice had I received our diagnosis before O was born. And I wouldn't have known to doubt that doctor.
I belong somewhere. Olivia's story needs to be told because while she may be atypical of her syndrome, she may actually be typical of it. Who knows? But where does her story belong? Here? Somewhere else? I'm just not sure.
I fear that my regaling of ridiculous hair pulling stress and my children's contant desire to be unclothes might not belong where so many are in such a different place. You know? I would never want my silliness and my insane need to over-share to cause pain to someone else.
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Posted by AandO | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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ABSCESS
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Mar 04, 2010 07:58am (EST)
I had horrible teeth as a toddler/preschooler/elementary schooler. Most of the enamel had been eaten away from the fronts of my teeth by the time I started school.
I went to the dentist A LOT. It sucked.
I got lucky with my adult teeth. They're stronger and much healthier than my baby teeth were.
I so hoped when I had children that they'd have better teeth than I did as a child.
So far? Not so much luck in that wish being granted.
Alyssa has several caps on her back teeth, top and bottom. And she fell when she was three at daycare and hurt one of her front top teeth.
That's the very tooth that's causing us to make an emergency run to the dentist today at 12:15. I think it's abscessed. There is a blister on her gums above the injured tooth.
I'm assuming the dentist will prescribe a round of antibiotics and hope for the best. The tooth is loose (as are several others because...oh, hello seven years old!") and I think it'll fall out in another month or so.
I actually have experience with abscessed teeth. I had one myself as a child. I remember pushing on the blister and getting a mouthful of awful tasting clear fluids.  It was nasty! I've told Alyssa ever since I found the abscess (all of 18 hours ago) not to mess with it. At all. She nodded wisely and said, "I wouldn't!"
She says it doesn't hurt and I'm inclined to believe her. She likes attention so she's not one to ignore or not admit to pain.
Once I discovered the blister last night, she became clingy, wanting to know what the dentist was going to to today. She laid on me most of the evening, just basking in the need for reassurance.
On top of Olivia, who was born with suction cups on her hands and knees which attach themselves to me at every opportunity, it was amazing I was able to pee on occasion last night.
We're lucky to have an amazing pediatric dentist whom I trust. We're also lucky that he told me at our last appointment (just this past January) to watch for just such a blister in Olivia's mouth due to her very own injured tooth. Ooh and look at me, I was able to take advice given pertaining to Olivia and use it on Alyssa!! Mom of the Year!!
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Posted by AandO | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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PARALLEL
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Mar 03, 2010 09:17am (EST)
I love watching Olivia play with her cousin Jaxon. He's almost exaclty a year younger than she is and while they have their moments of "Mine!" for the most part they get along really well.
Obviously, Jaxon is much further along in his physical development than Olivia. He walked that the typical age (I think he was 13 months.) He climbs on everything and runs like there is no danger at all.
Olivia has watched him all along. She's kept her eye on him because that little dude is STRONG and at around 15 months he started trying to pick her up. She avoids direct contact with him for fear he's going to body slam her.
But he means well. He's never malicious in his physical wrangling of my petite little flower. He just doesn't know his own strength.
To be fair, Olivia is at least 4 inches taller than he is and probably outweighs him by 5 pounds. So he's thinking that she should be able to hold her own against him. He's got a boatload of male cousins on his mother's side, so he's used to kids who can handle rough play.
When he first started spend a day here and there with Olivia and my mom, Olivia eyed him warily and kept her distance. But she watched him closely, learning all the gross motor skills that came naturally to him but that she had to watch and learn or even be shown.
It was Jaxon who showed her that it was possible for someone their size to get up off the floor without assistance from either the human variety or just by pulling up to a coffee table.
These days, Olivia find Jaxon vastly amusing. She continues to keep her distance but she spends most of the day giggling at his antics and there are moments when we can find them playing WITH each other. Not beside each other but actually interacting.
O's moving beyond parallel play and into that wonderful world of actually playing with her peers. I couldn't be more excited for her as a whole new world opens up.
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Posted by AandO | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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