|
 |
|
PARSONS BROOD
kel_jacksons_mom |
|
| Category: Home | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | | | | | | | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
|
|
|
|
I FOUND HIM AGAIN
|
|
Nov 17, 2008 06:28am (EST)
When Kate died (almost two years ago this January) I was mad at God. And then I felt guilty about being mad at God, but then I had an epiphany of sorts. I don't know who said it or if I read or made it up, but I soon realized that God understands, and he can take me being mad at him, he's a big boy.
I'm a firm believer in God, but sometimes your faith can stray away and ever since January of 2007, man have I strayed, but I think thats okay. It's normal to do that every now and then. I really never asked why, to me there is always a reason for everything. As much as I hate it there was a reason for Kate passing away. I didn't quite understand how this could happen. We did everything right. There was never why in my book only how. I never quit believing in God, just mad at him.
The day after Kate's graveside service I went to my grandmothers church back home. Her pastor performed Kate's burial ceremony and he did a wonderful job. I went to church the following day and it was then I realized that I couldn't be in church just yet. I couldn't worship a man who I was so mad at. I still prayed, always have, asking for peace, comfort and to watch over my family, friends and my Share friends for whatever they were going through. My last time in church was January 28, 2007.
I went to church yesterday for the first time since January 28, 2007. Jack understands about God and Jesus and we are a God-fearing family and I knew we wanted Jack to grow up in a home where we attended church on a regular basis, but I couldn't do it...until yesterday. I went. It was a new church and no one knows me but I like that. I can get to know people, Jack can make new friends and yesterday was the perfect sermon for me. It was about living in sin but yet confessing our sins and that sometimes you do stray away, but your back and that is all that matters so I'm back. I'm back in church now and I love it. Jack loved it. I knew it was time to go when Jack was asking questions about what God looks like, does he have eyes, where is God, did God make this shirt too? It's tough explaning to a 5-year-old that yes God makes everything but he makes people special to make that shirt your wearing.
Brett on the other hand isn't ready and thats fine. I don't pressure him to go, heck I don't even ask. I know when he's ready he'll go too, but right now he's just not so Jack and I will go and I will enjoy myself once again. Funny thing, at the end of the service when we sang the last Hymn it was the song I Have Decided to Follow Jesus...how perfect. I found him again.
On a funny note, Jack came home with his first love letter on Friday. It was a piece of notebook paper folded in half. Written in hot pink crayon on the outside said:
To: Jack P
From: Eryn
You unfold it and it said I Heart (it was actually a heart) U Jack P. Oh my goodness, love letters. How sweet, but how grown up. I'm not ready for this. LOL
Much love,
Kelly
|
|
|
Posted by kel_jacksons_mom | Comments: (13) | Permalink
|
|
|
PREMATURITY AWARENESS DAY 08
|
|
Nov 13, 2008 06:25am (EST)
I'm tired, exhausted actually, but a good exhausted. I've been super busy planning our PAD activities at our hospital where the NICU Family Support is and man I had a blast. I was on the news...well actually they interviewed me about what we do for PAD, what we do for the parents in the NICU and I told my story, but they also interviewed a MOD staffer and a couple of parents in the NICU. My part was cut out, but I was still on the news sporting my purple MOD shirt...one that I happened to get at VLC in Houston this year.
It was great yesterday. We made cookies in pink and blue or purple and gave those out. We're sneaky like that. We set up two tables by the main entrance and the two elevators, set up some MOD posters, had facts everywhere about prematurity in the nation and in Kentucky and we sold some MOD items. We would entice those folks waiting for the elevator, which to our benefit there was only one working, with a free cookie and then it seems as though every one had a story of a preemie baby that they knew or had a preemie or were a preemie. We had our book to sign for the preemie petition, hopefully the MOD is close to their goal of getting all of the signatures. A baby even signed. Well actually it spit it up on the book, but hey, must be how the baby felt about prematurity.
We also passed out our incubator covers, all of which were donated. Every baby got an incubator cover and the parents were all so appreciative.
All in all it was a good day. I'm hoping to make it to downtown Louisville sometime this week or next to see our skyline lit up in pink and blue...we called to see if they could do purple but they already have the pink and blue. One day MOD will be known for the best color ever. LOL
I hope your PAD was just as good as mine!!
Peace and love,
Kelly
|
|
|
|
Posted by kel_jacksons_mom | Comments: (6) | Permalink
|
|
|
MY MOM ROCKS!!!
|
|
Nov 12, 2008 04:35am (EST)
My mom does rock. If you don't know, my mom and I have matching tattoos. It's a yellow chick. We call each other chick all the time so for Mother's Day back in 2001 my sister and I got our mom a tattoo. She's always wanted one. My sister didn't want one (chickened out) so my mom and I got the matching chick. Think chicken hawk from the looney tune cartoons, but only yellow. Since then I have gotten three more tattoos. My mom is the proud owner of a brand new, very special tattoo. My tattoos mean something, one with my mom, one for all of my babies, one of Kate's feetprint and the purple flowers. My mom got something beautiful. It's a vine with four morning glories on it. One is blue with my sister's, Amanda, initial in it, a deep purple with my initial in it, a small light blue one with Jack's initial and a bud for Kate. Very pretty, very special and very much a surprise. My sister's and my morning glory are big, Jack's a small almost bloomed and Kate's is a bud. How very special. I love that she has this. I have always felt bad because my mom didn't have an outlet to be understood as a grandparent. There is nothing in my hometown for that. I hope this gives her some peace.
She reads this so I love you mom. Thank you for honoring, me, Amanda and my kids...all of them. Here are the pictures!!
Oh and Happy Prematurity Awareness Day!! Get out and spread the word.
amanda and kelly flowers
jack flower
kate flower
whole tattoo
|
|
|
|
Posted by kel_jacksons_mom | Comments: (11) | Permalink
|
|
|
I'M HERE!!
|
|
Nov 10, 2008 12:57pm (EST)
I really have been here, just not been able to read your blogs and your short stories, but one thing is definitely I will be here for the live chat tomorrow with Dr. Berns. We'll be discussing RSV and cold season and I'm sure all of us are very familiar with this. Joins us at 3 p.m. EST. Whether your pregnant, thinking of becoming pregnant or already have your little ones here and have questions about RSV season, please join us.
Now onto why I've been kind of absent. Well, it's a good thing. I'm gearing up for Prematurity Awareness Day on Wednesday, November the 12th. And how exciting that our very own blogger Aimee (Ryan) is going to our state capital to share her story about Ryan's early arrival. Very neat!! I'll be doing the stuff at the hospital and I've just been so busy getting ready for that, getting our incubator covers together, finding volunteers to bake some cookies and decorate them in pink and blue or lavendar as well as finding other volunteers to sit with me at our MOD table at the hospital for the day. Let's just say I'm super busy!!
I'll be back (I know your excited) in full swing by the start of next week!!
I've missed you all. Oh yeah, and Jack is sick...again. He's not full blown bad sick, but I needed to get him to the doctor today before it got worse and it's the beginnings of an upper respiratory tract infection. I'm glad I took him because this morning I was passing it off as a cold. Just to be sure and so I could do the Prematurity Awareness Day activities at the hospital I decided I had better take him now before he get worse. Right now, he's okay, no steroids just a mild antibiotic and some cough syrup. We'll see how fast he gets better!!
Happy Prematurity Awareness Month!!
Kelly
|
|
|
|
Posted by kel_jacksons_mom | Comments: (8) | Permalink
|
|
|
WHERE'S THAT SOAPBOX...FOUND IT.
|
|
Nov 05, 2008 06:13am (EST)
I'm going to get on my soapbox for a while and no this is not about the election, it's actually good thing. While I didn't vote for our future president, I have to make best with what was decided. I don't agree on pro-choice, but thats another story for another day.
Anyway, something good came out of this. In my hometown my ex-brother-in-law who is an attorney won the 100th district state representative seat and he's a Democraft so thats a bonus for what I'm about to write it. I definitely need me a Democrat for this.
When I delivered Kate I was informed that I would get a death certificate. By policy the state of Kentucky will issue a stillbirth/death certificate, but yet I don't get a birth certificate. Doesn't something have to be alive for it to die? Like Kathryn said in the comments, a baby also isn't recognized as a baby until 20 weeks. If you have a stillbirth at 19 weeks, you get nothing. They say you had a miscarriage. How wrong is that? Before 20 weeks you are simply are carrying a fetus. Our fetuses have names, they have personalities, we see them, we feel them. We also plan funerals and memorial services for our babies, whether they were 40 weeks and passed away or 18 weeks and passed away. So not right...
Anyway, the state of Kentucky needs a Democrat to put a bill through for a birth certificate resulting in a stillbirth to come about, hence my brother-in-law. My family, including my sister (his ex-wife) have been close even since their divorce. When he told us that he was going to run for state representative and that he needed something to "be for" I brought it up. There are dozens of other things that I wish he could do and maybe he possibly can, like better care for preemies, how to lower our prematurity rate, more guidelines for a doctor to follow so we can reduce the risk of premature birth, healthcare for expecting mothers, finding a way to ensure a baby isn't premature due to incompetent cervix. But the stillbirth certificate is what gets me.
I refuse to get a death certificate, mainly because that is all I would get. Kate was very much alive in me. I felt her kick, I felt her move. I even thought sometimes I should look for a foot because she kicked so low. I saw her moving on ultrasound. At our 20-week ultrasound Jack just being Jack said he wanted to see her tongue and her nose. We laughed saying we probably wouldn't see her tongue and not two seconds later she was opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue. I have pictures to prove that and it was just too sweet. It was like they were plotting against me already. I can just see them now, Jack telling Kate to come and ask me if they can have more halloween candy or that Jack wants to share his M&Ms with her and really just keeping them for himself.
I wish, how I wish I already had a birth certificate for her and that she was here. Instead I can only get a death certificate. I am very aware that my baby was dead. I delivered her, I held her. She was silent. I e-mailed my brother-in-law some information on how Arizona passed theirs and how it became a law and some more information. Hopefully with this help we can get this through and get Kate recognized as a baby that was once alive and me a mother of two children.
Here's the soapbox if anyone else wants it.
God bless this country,
Kelly
|
|
|
|
Posted by kel_jacksons_mom | Comments: (11) | Permalink
|
|
|
HALLOWEEN FUN AND A CONVERSATION WITH KATE.
|
|
Nov 03, 2008 04:53am (EST)
Halloween was great. Jack went as Iron Man and we trick or treated with one of his friends who also spent the night with us.
However, on Saturday evening, the friend who spent the night with us, his parents were having a party. The reason for that party is because my friend's brother-in-law was in from California visiting. This guy is a medium, you know one of those people like John Edwards, they can talk to dead people. I don't know if I'm a believer but some of the things were right on and for someone who I have never spoke to he hit lots of nails on the head and some I think he was way off.
I carry Kate's cremation tag around with me. It's a silver disk with her cremation number. It stays in my billfold and it never leaves. I let him hold that. He told me that Kate was as gift, here for just a short time but that she had a job. Her job was to bring humor to other people and that I am supposed to help bring that and also to talk to others, to help others. Her purpose also was to bring people together. She did her job and she was successful. He definitely hit the nail on the head on that one. He said that he felt that she suffered for just a bit but that she went fast. I could understand that. I was 26 weeks pregnant but she was the size of a 21 weeker, probably not receiving the nutrients that she needs for five weeks, that can cause some suffering. I asked if she blamed me and he said that she does not, she did her job and it makes her sad when I feel that way. I also asked if she was with family and he kept seeing this whitish colored dog with a beard kind of. Obviously not a person beard, but some kind of terrier. My mother-in-laws dog died about two years ago and he is whitish. He said he saw, not a big dog but an average dog. Well that's Tipper and Tipper loved kids, Tipper was a terrier mix and definitely had a dog beard and that Kate plays with this dog. That gave me chills and now I picture Kate playing with this dog and is happy. I'm very proud of her. She was here for a short time and I know if it wasn't for Kate I wouldn't be volunteering so definitely thank you Kate. What an amazing little girl you are.
He also held my engagement ring and wrap. He said that he saw my husband (who he hadn't met at this point) as being surrounded by kids, older kids and that he was a coach, teacher type of guy that his life calling would be this. For the past six months Brett has said countless times how he would want to be a history teacher and a coach. The medium guy said he saw this coachy, bear type of guy. That is my husband to a T. He also said he would have a job change in the next few months, but it wouldn't require us to move or me to change jobs.
Something else he said was that we would be signing some important documents in the next few months. He just kept seeing documents and that it is a good thing. I don't know what that could be. He also said he saw Jack having a baby sister and that maybe these documents were adoption papers, but that it wouldn't cost anything. I could see this seeing as how I'm no longer able to get pregnant but Brett is against adopting and honestly were happy and content with having our one living child. I could do adoption, but he said that this adoption would not cost anything and that I do not need to adopt a special needs child that I still need to help others but that with having a new baby in the house that I won't get as much time as I would like to have. Who knows. That, I think he's totally wrong. He also said he saw Jack and that at one time he was sick, but that he is very much a blessing and that he will have a baby sister one day. It's totally true about Jack being our blessing, but the baby sister... big ol' negative.
He also saw in the next couple of months that a cousin would be pregnant. My cousin and his wife just had the twins, well not just had, they're six months old, but my other cousin, the twins aunt, has two children and she watches the twins during the day. I think they had decided they did not want anymore, but you never know. I'm curious to see if she becomes pregnant in the next few months.
He also held my new Share Your Story Hour Power watch. He said, while holding this, that I have met many people because of this watch and that I would meet many more. People that have changed me, helped me and that this watch tells a lot about what my future is. We all know how true that is, how so very true and how so very blessed I am because of you all.
He asked if I did baking, like in baking competitions. That is way off. I like to bake, but would never consider doing that as say my job. He said that there he saw me really enjoying doing this baking and could consider this my lifelong dream, but that the watch has something to do with that. Yeah, waaaaaayyyy off. LOL
This was very interesting. I wasn't going thinking I would get Kate to talk to me and I still don't know if I believe, but the dog, the Share Your Story watch, meeting new people, talking to people and helping them, Brett going to school and teaching and coaching. It was very much right on. We'll see, I guess, if what he says happens.
Peace and love,
Kelly
2nd picture - That is Brett and I acting like we are going to lick a big fake cupcake. At the zoo here they have The World's Largest Halloween Party and you walk through different scenes. We were in willy Wonka's candyland in that one. LOL (There you go Mary).
IMG_1725
IMG_1699
|
|
|
|
Posted by kel_jacksons_mom | Comments: (12) | Permalink
|
|
|
IT'S A MOMENTOUS OCCASION
|
|
Oct 27, 2008 12:23pm (EST)
Nothing big going but I have some great news. Jack just got home from school and is at the kitchen table doing one of those color with water things. You know, you have water on the brush and it colors the page and then you can do it over and over again. Anyway, I was watching him do that and then I realized, he's not coughing anymore, his nose isn't running anymore, oh my goodness it's the first time he's actually gotten over a cold without it turning into something worse and without having to go to the doctor.
Yep, thats right. Everytime he gets a cold he ends up at the doctor's office a week or two after the first sign of a cold and sometimes he can go a month with the symptoms, but not this time. His colds usually turn into an upper respiratory infection, bronchitis, sinus infection or he'll get croup. Before I left for Share Union he was coughing a little bit, nothing bad, just a wet cough and he had a runny nose and a little sneezing. When I came home from Share Union he still had it a bit but nothing he needed medicine over and now it's gone. It's probably been gone for the last four days but I just noticed that he's fine. He's not sick anymore, he doesn't need breathing treatments and it saved me $20.00 with a co-pay and more if he would need meds.
Have I jinxed myself about being too excited and wanting to announce to the world that he's not sick? I don't know, but I'm super excited!! Yeah for Jack!!!
Peace,
Kelly
The picture below is of Jack this past weekend when he went with my sister to meet my parents at Cave City, Kentucky, to stay in some Wigwams.
leaving the wigwam
|
|
|
|
Posted by kel_jacksons_mom | Comments: (15) | Permalink
|
|
|
R-E-S-P-E-C-T AND WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT.
|
|
Oct 08, 2008 04:01am (EST)
I know some people think I'm completely crazy and stupid for sharing such a private part of my life, I mean honestly why would I share such a thing as my marriage problems, but it's my blog and it's been weighing heavily on my mind, and honestly I know others out there are feeling the same way and just don't know what to do or are just living and dealing. My marriage reminded me of an old, boring couple who have been married for 50 plus years, which I guess is a good thing, but we've only been married for 8 years, we just shouldn't be that comfortable just yet. I think some of the problems over the past few days came to a head beause Jack wasn't here. The house was quiet, there was no discussions to be had about Jack, no teaming up to discipline and nurture him or worse, butting heads to discipline and nurture him.
Brett knew something needed to be done. He agreed to talk to someone with me so we did. The guy mainly asked us about our background, where we came from, our parents, our families, do we love our families and yes we both love our families. My family saw me marrying Brett as them gaining a son and vice versa. Then we talked about what we were missing. I said I missed the communication, physical love, being touched, hugged, feeling needed and wanted. Brett was tired of hearing the same stuff everyday when he came home from work and that we have nothing in common to talk about. Lots of things came about, how I feel like I've been wearing the pants and the skirt of the family for the past almost two years. Then came Kate and we even talked about Jack coming early and having to deal with the NICU. He said these things that happened, even if we were getting along great then those things probably started to pull us apart, mostly because men and women deal differently with each thing and we've just never been on the same page with each other about how it makes us feel nor have we talked about them.
He did say we had a lot of positives going for us and then went onto some positives that I do and that Brett does. Brett is concerned that I'm grieving too long for our daughter, but I've never lost and it was my future that I lost with her. I don't think he saw it the same way I do. Brett has dealt with lots of loss and lots of loss that hit him pretty hard, two friends passing away, one from leukemia in high school and then losing his dad when Brett was 20, that's big time loss. I've never learned how to deal with loss and I'm doing that the best way I know how, it's just difficult that I can't go to him without him freaking out or that I'm depressed. The guy said I am completely fine and normal and that sometimes it's okay to want to talk about it.
We talked about the gamining. The guy told Brett that he's pretty lucky that he has such a tolerant wife who would put up with it. Brett's explanation was that if we're at home and we're not doing nothing what's wrong with playing the game. Brett also asked if we spent too much time together. I don't remember when Brett said this but I know a few years ago Brett thought I spent too much time with him and Jack, that I always had to be around them when we were in the house and I just never understood that. I didn't follow Brett around, but Brett has always just felt that I stay home too much and my life is just him and Jack, but it is, they are my family so that is something we need to work on. Even though we are home usually he is playing that game and I sit downstairs, I guess because Brett can see me watching TV thats spending too much time together. That whole part I'm confused about.
Before we wrapped up the guy talked about women needing to be loved and to feel love from their husband or significant other and I whole-heartedly agreed and then he asked Brett what he needed and I don't think Brett knew. The guy said most men need respect and can I tell you he hit the nail on the head when he said that. Men want respect. I think Brett and I have just snowballed everything out of control, I've taken charge because I can, I'm that kind of person. For the past six months I've felt like I don't necessarily need Brett here, I can do everything on my own and in that Brett just let things be done by me, the decisions are made by me. I think this started after Kate was born. Brett had the great idea of getting her cremated and burying her with Brett's dad but after that everything was me and it's been difficult. Brett has no input now and I guess he's felt that I have lost respect for him. It's not that I don't respect him, or that I'm going out all hours of the night leaving Brett here to take care of our child, but I'm the take charge kind of attitude, if it needs to be done I'll get it done and I don't need any help, but I do. I don't need to be the one making the decisions about Jack's braces or school, about the bills, about supper, about how our money is spent, about what we're doing or about how to raise our child. I need to realize that there is a better way besides my way. And also respect yourself. That's a BIG one.
I know this is long, but I can't even begin to tell you how therapeutic it is to write about this and how I think these therapy sessions we are going to is helping. All in all the guy thinks all of this stemmed from losing Kate, how differently men and women grieve and how since then we've kind of branched off, have our own goals and own desires and learning how to be one big tree again, not just a couple little branches here and there but our big strong tree.
Much love,
Kelly
|
|
|
|
Posted by kel_jacksons_mom | Comments: (15) | Permalink
|
|
|
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ABOUT TO DO THIS..
|
|
Oct 06, 2008 07:54am (EST)
I can't believe I'm about talk about my husband and some of our problems. I think after something traumatic happens to you and your husband such as losing a child or having your baby prematurity, there is some tension and some distance that happens. A relationship takes two, a man and a woman or woman and a woman, man and woman, whatever floats your boat. For myself I'm diggin my husband. We have been together since I was 18, married when I was 21 and now I'm 30. We had Jack when I was 24 almost 25 and he was 28. When Kate was born he was 32 and I was 28. We've been through a lot. Financial woes, cars needing repaired, decisions made with child rearing and education, our family and the worst decision, our daughters graveyard service and what to do with her body. Thank goodness Brett was there. I honestly don't know what I would have done without him. Your faced with all of these decisions after losing a child and you just can't do them yourself. But after we decided that we would have her cremated and bury some of the cremains with Brett's dad, Brett has completely stepped back letting me take care of everything, including picking out the headstone. He was there but honestly he didn't want to be. He will not go see her headstone now that it is finally laid. The only time he and I have been to the cemetary to see her is the day Brett himself put her little vault on top of his dad's vault.
It's come to a point now that we don't talk, rather he don't talk. I know it takes two to make a marriage work, but thats just it you do have to work at staying married, especially after having kids and especially after watching your baby grow in an isolette, being fed through their nose and then giving birth to a stillborn. Brett was there for everything. I can't knock him on being a good dad, he's a great dad, but here lately his skills in being a dad and a great husband are lacking.
We're distant, he doesn't want to talk and when he does he says he is happy and everything is fine. Brett is a gamer. Right now he's addicted (did I say that outloud) to a game called World of Warcraft. He plays it when he gets home from work and sometimes after he gets Jack from the bus stop he continues playing while I work and Jack plays by himself. That's all fine, Jack is 5 and he needs that time to wind down, but now it's becoming a problem. I can count on one hand how many times Brett took Jack outside to play this summer and thats just not right. Brett didn't go enjoy 4th of July festivities, instead he stayed home and played the game. He acts like he is miserable. Not only does he not talk to me he doesn't talk to anyone besides his friends on this game. Granted, three of his friends that play also work with him but he has one friend who lives in Florida who is an older man, a dad, talks like Andy Griffith, very southern. He sounds really nice, but he's not married and his children are all grown and out of the home. Brett has said he would stop playing but then he will become bitter and almost resentful that I made him stop playing. And truly I'm not like that. I don't make him do things he doesn't want to do and vice versa.
I don't know if it's the game or if he's unhappy with me or unhappy just being here with us. He says no that he loves us. I tell him that maybe he shouldn't waste his time with me and find someone who makes him happy. He still says he doesn't want to be with anyone else that he is happy with me, but yet I'm just not happy. It's not fun anymore. Most of you know I am a nutjob. I'm crazy, kind of out there but most people think I'm a blast, others may think I'm annoying but its me. Brett used to be like that. We used to be two peas in a pod, both a little cooky, fun yet someone you could talk to. I can't do that with Brett anymore, talking that is and we don't laugh nearly as much.
He doesn't touch me, no hugging, just a small peck on the cheek or a kiss before he goes to work and he says he loves me. Thats all I get. I know these things happen, you get really comfortable in a relationship and its easy to let things slide, but its to the point now that I don't feel wanted or needed anymore.
My relationship is very private to me so this took a lot for me to share, but I remember feeling this way two months after Kate passed away and a few months after Jack was born and people on this site wrote about their relationship woes and it made me feel better that I wasn't the only one and that we will make it. I do love my husband I believe he loves me. Heck, I even bought a bowling ball so we could all do something together and I honestly really suck at bowling but we have fun doing it together.
I just don't know what else to say besides wait for him. This happened when I was pregnant with Jack in a way. He was playing a game and he played ALL the time. He would eat dinner with me and go back and play and I waited for him to be done. Eventually he tires of things, but this time it has been going on a year. Maybe he's depressed, maybe we need counseling, but we can't go on like this.
Much love,
Kelly
Brett and I in the pic and for some reason his head looks EXTREMELY LARGE. LOL Maybe its the tarantula he has on his face. He's letting his goatee grow for a rock concert. Such a goofball.
IMG_1580
|
|
|
|
Posted by kel_jacksons_mom | Comments: (13) | Permalink
|
|
 Archives
|
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
