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SHAY'S JOURNAL

Mommy of angel Shiloh

May 2012

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WORLD WEIGHS ALOT ON NY SHOULDER

May 25, 2012 05:27am (EST)

Things have not been ideal in my life , Christian is the only thing that keeps me trusting in God that he has better things for me .

I do feel very alone though , no one I kno sees the world through my eyes . I'm starting to get use to being alone .
Which is scary , so I needed to come up here.. feels like home .

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Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (3) | Permalink

BETTER DAYS & CONFUSED DAZE

Feb 18, 2012 06:25am (EST)

Well operation Army is still under go! I'm about to get ,soooo serious with my work out I have 15 lbs to lose before basic training in august .

Well FINALLY Christians dad has smartin up ! Thank the Lord . He's been acting like a dad, hopefully there will be consistency & stability with his actions..so we will see. I've been feeling left out though , when they go somewhere

those moments i wish we were a "family"... Wish I could turn my emotions off when it comes to him !! But I can't fault myself smh.

I'm just so grateful that I'm not doing this alone anymore

Ps. Christian weighs 14 lbs & is 25 inches (my big boy). I was going through Shilohs memory box & balled my eyes out, its amazing how her clothes smell the same a year later .

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Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (2) | Permalink

GIRLS NIGHT

Jan 31, 2012 05:09am (EST)

So Christians dad's bday was this weekend & he wanted Christian for the day. And although we're not on good terms w him I wouldn't let that affect Christian.

And so long story short dude doesn't show up. Didn't put my hopes into anyways. Smh. I know his fathers loves him but his priorities are on E right now, hopefully he'll get himself together but if not..me & Christian will be great. God has my back.

On a lighter note Christians aunt (his dads sis) & I have become the best of friends, I love her like family

I went out w my friend to the club, I enjoyed being out & I actually felt attractive since having Christian lol , I had to post on fb lol PS add me on fb.

PPS right before I knew I was prego w Shiloh u was about to join the military & now I think I'm def going to persue(?) it once more.

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (5) | Permalink

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/GLOVER.SHAY

Jan 29, 2012 09:36am (EST)

Add me. & I'll accept.

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (4) | Permalink

PHILIPIANS 4-7

Jan 27, 2012 09:00am (EST)

It's about time I've gotten back to church. Since I lost Shiloh last year, I've slowly but surely been working on my relationship w God.

Meanwhile I love Christian, he's givin me a reason to live again. And now that's he is here I am forced to work on my own issues. Scary.

Things have changed dramatically between my bd & myself. Or maybe I've grown & realized I deserve better things in life. It hurts my heart , I wanna be a fam but I guess things change.

But anyways I was listening to Pandora and Fred Hammond's song philipians 4-7 was playing....chills..chills

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (2) | Permalink

ANGEL ANNIVERSARY

Jan 17, 2012 07:18am (EST)

Shilohs 1st bday was on the 15 ... Wow that time speed by...not emotionally. But we took a trip back to charlottesville. It was nice, its the first time since she's been gone that it didn't feel awkward.

Christian was smiling a whoolllllle lot is was beautiful.. she must have been talking to him lol

I love how far I've come & I love my son. The days dont get easier to me I'm just more accepting to what is & what is not.

Life is far from perfect some things get better as some things get worse but I pray to God for the strength that he has given before.

I'm getting off track lol this weekend was lovely. Happy first birthday my babydoll. Mommy loves you. <3

Pictures :

shy

POLO SHAWDDY

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Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (5) | Permalink

MOTHERHOOD LOL

Dec 09, 2011 06:06pm (EST)

Its crazy to see thats he's finally here. After losing Shiloh to knowing that I wanted to be a mom again to going through an emotional pregnancy.

Birth story:

The last week was going by extra slow so i was doin everything..eating spicy foods..general tso chicken..taking baths.. && so early in the morning I was talking to God.
Expressing all my worries & fears & just being grateful for what he has done. So I sayed " Im not going to rush the process when he comes he comes "

5:30 AM LAYING IN THE BED. I FELT HIS HEAD PUSH DOWN & WATER STARTED LEAKING.. THEN A RUSH OF WATER!

Thankfully i was with my parents & we drove about 20 mins to my doctors hospital. They checked me I was 2cms. They admitted me..i started walking & bouncing on the birth ball they gave me pitocin to increase my contractions . Every 2 hours I was dilating 2 centimeters. They checked me and said were going to start puching & at 10:01 pm he came out cryin & hungry!

7 pounds 14 oz 20.4 inches

Now hes 8 lbs 11 oz 23 inches not even 2 weeks later. lol blessed.

This picture is off my nephew & christian. Im thankful that my nephew was born before my son came here. He helped in mending the gap from Shiloh to Christian.

He looks just like his dad his eyes are getting light just like him too lol

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Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (3) | Permalink

MY BABY IS HERE.

Dec 04, 2011 11:24am (EST)

Christian David!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel so blessed.

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (7) | Permalink

POSITIVITY

Nov 04, 2011 09:22am (EST)

I had one of THOSE sh*tty nights the other night. Missed my appt because I stayed up most of the night crying lol which is good.

My crying has changed...i dont feel as bitter (i guess the word is) when im in this zone..i feel warmth like a glow..i guess I feel peace. Shilohs peace.

BUT i made this post because I was thinking how powerful laughter is SOMETIMES. I have a list of shows that tend to life my spirits:

Its always sunny in Phili..
The Office
Rob& Big.
Marilyn Monroe movies

Its okay to smile its okay to cry!

-Shay

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (3) | Permalink

2ND PREGNANCY LIFE

Oct 22, 2011 08:31pm (EST)

Wow i cant believe how well things have been progressing & how i only have about a month left! All praise to God.

Its been an emotional rollercoaster but I feel stronger for it..I find myself thinking more about Shiloh since its almost that time.

Im losing sleep though 1) Back to back pregnancies have a toll on your body plus he has already surpassed what Shiloh weighed at her birth.
2) Im anxious about L&D. Im delivering no where near where I did before..they catered to all my needs because they knew what I was going through. So EVERYTHINGS new.

But that comes with the territory I guess. Im excited and still scared lol but hopfull.

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (4) | Permalink

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