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THE BEAN

Valerie Nelson

May 2013

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May 08, 2009 01:05pm (EST)

Earlier this week, seemingly out of nowhere, such a heaviness came over me. I missed Caitlyn so much. It's been nearly four years since she died...I simply can't believe it has been that long...So long that I feel she must certainly be slipping away from me...So long that we have not had the same level of support for our family team as in previous years...So long that others must be forgetting about her. It was as if a wave swept over me, and I realized that I had NOT been thinking about her - which made me feel guilty. Logically, I know that she is with me, in my heart, but logic lost out at that moment.

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (6) | Permalink

ENERGIZED

Mar 27, 2009 11:15pm (EST)

I've just finished The Bean Team's newsletter for March for Babies and the flyer for our walk in London AND sent out invitations to a "side" fundraiser I've organized...It has been a long day at the computer, and my eyes are quite blurry, but...Yes, I DO feel energized. I've already received positive responses, so I hope that the events go well. But, just having the opportunity to talk about Caitlyn feels good. I spent so long worried that mentioning her name would upset my family and friends. I can now talk about her without the raw emotions that make so many people so uncomfortable, and I hope that allows me to make a bigger impact with her story.

I love you, Bean. And I miss you very much. Sending you kisses, my love.

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (3) | Permalink

HOW TIME FLIES

Mar 15, 2009 09:16pm (EST)

Tyler arrived ten months ago tomorrow. I can't believe that much time has passed. Zachary and Tyler keep me very busy every day, and their infectious smiles and giggles truly warm my heart...Yet, I still realize that Caitlyn is missing. Some days go by so quickly and I am so exhausted at the end of the day that I feel guilty that I haven't missed her more. As I fall into bed, I realize there is an aching in my heart. The grief certainly isn't as intense as it used to be, and I do think that being busy with the boys has helped ease that pain. Yet there seems to be some kind of...I don't know how to describe it...longing just under the surface of my smile. I miss my daughter. I wonder what my days would be like with the boys running after their big sister.

Ten months have passed since I felt the need to write here...How is that?? Have I really not missed Caitlyn? Have I been so preoccupied with my daily life that I forgot to do something to honor her? I don't think that is the case; I hope that isn't what it means. I do, in fact, feel that I have done quite a bit to keep her close to me. But, coming here to share my thoughts would likely have helped on those days when my heart sank, realizing what I am missing by not having her here...Why is it that I have avoided it?

March for Babies is here again...This will be the fourth year for The Bean Team. FOUR YEARS since Caitlyn died. Just thinking of that passage of time makes my heart ache right now. And even though Caitlyn's two little brothers - who each have their own special story - will be with us, I don't want to "have" to do it. I don't want to walk *in memory* of my daughter. I feel like time is stealing her away from me. The saying "time heals the pain" isn't as simple as it sounds...The pain might be less intense, but sometimes I feel like that is due to the loss of many memories.

But, I *will* walk again this year, and I *will* tell everyone who will listen about my daughter. We are still living abroad and getting back to the States to walk just isn't practical...so, I'm introducing March for Babies to the UK! I do feel good - energized - by planning the event here, but it is a challenge, some days, to find the energy. I'll let Caitlyn be my motivation.

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Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (4) | Permalink

CAITLYN'S LITTLE BROTHER

May 18, 2008 07:56pm (EST)

Tyler Elliott Nelson arrived on the 16th. As I sit here looking at him, I suppose that I should accept that he is really here (smile). We had some "bumps" along the way, but he is here and healthy, although he is under the bili light for 2 days because of a blood antibody issue that I developed. He is absolutely gorgeous (although I know I am biased!) and looks so much like his big sister, Caitlyn.

I feel so blessed to hold him in my arms, but it is certainly bittersweet. I burst into tears as soon as he was born, saying to Hart that I wish Caitlyn was there. We didn't know if Tyler would be a boy or a girl...If the baby had been a girl, I'm sure I would feel guilt and miss Caitlyn more. But, having a boy also reminded me what I'm missing out on with raising a girl. I am not disappointed to have another son (although, as Hart says, I am now WAY outnumbered!), but I do wish that Caitlyn were here to see her two little brothers.

I know that Caitlyn is still in my heart and a very special part of our family. Her picture has been at my bedside since I arrived at the hospital, and I have had many opportunities to talk about her with the staff, which I always love talking about her. So, once again, she has brought a special meaning to something in our lives...

In loving memory of his big sister, Caitlyn, welcome to the family Tyler!

Tyler1

Tyler2

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (6) | Permalink

MOTHER'S DAY...

May 12, 2008 03:15am (EST)

First, I want to thank the moms who have responded to my entries. It truly does warm my heart to know that support is available whenever I need it, even though I have never met any of you...This is an unusual bond that we share, unfortunately, but certainly a very unique and strong one. I really appreciate the kind thoughts and encouragement!!

Today was bittersweet, of course, as I'm sure it is for many moms of angels. It was great to have Zachary at home, and to be able to look down at my belly and see the baby's acrobatics change the shape of my stomach. But, as every other day, Caitlyn was missing. Hart and I took Zachary to visit her grave today. He is certainly too young to understand why he is there, but he blew kisses to her, which was really sweet to see. My Mother's Day card was especially meaningful. Hart "signed" it with personalized messages from Zachary, the new baby, Caitlyn and the twins. Of course, the tears came flowing, but it means so much that Caitlyn and the twins are remembered even though we have other things to be happy about.

It is hard to celebrate a day like today, being a mother, when you know that one of your children is not physically with you...and for me, that missing child is the one who made me a mom in the first place. But, I suppose that is even a greater reason to celebrate today...It is because of Caitlyn that I know what motherhood means, and I *hope* that the love I learned from her has made me a better mom to Zachary and this new baby.

So, happy Mother's Day to everyone, whether your children are in your arms or remain in your hearts forever!

To my precious daughter, Caitlyn Greenleigh Nelson...Now sleep chlid of mine, while the stars shine above. I love you as much as a Mommy could love. Thank you for everything you have taught me; Thank you for coming into my life; Thank you for being my daughter. I love you, Bean.

0508_BDay Party3

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Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (4) | Permalink

STILL COUNTING...

May 07, 2008 08:11pm (EST)

This baby is still growing strong, and he/she is scheduled to arrive in barely a week. I can't believe it, still, even though I keep saying that. I am eager to meet the little one, Caitlyn's little brother or sister, but I don't want the pregnancy to end. I'm a bit nervous about what to expect from a full-term baby, and I think that he/she will seem so large compared to Caitlyn (which he/she WILL be). The feelings of guilt are still there, as friends and family are eager to meet this little one...But, I want them all to remember Caitlyn, too. But, I have to keep reminding myself that this little one will know his/her big sister. She is still a part of our family, and always will be.

I finally took Zachary, our adopted son, to visit Caitlyn's grave. I have been reluctant to take him, partly because I feel selfish with my time with her, I suppose. But, it was "nice" (for lack of a better word) to introduce Z to his big sister. Hart says that he still remembers visiting his sisters' graves when he was younger, and I hope that Zachary has that opportunity every time we visit Missouri. I want him and this new baby to know how special of a baby she was and how much she changed my life...If it were not for her, neither of them would be the same, either.

Mother's Day is here, once again, and at least we have some laughter and hope in the house this year. I am thankful for that, but it is still so bittersweet. I assume it will always be like this??

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (4) | Permalink

YET AGAIN...

Apr 07, 2008 02:24am (EST)

I have let so much time pass, once more. I really need to simply let go of the expectation of all the "I should's..." because that only adds more stress and subsequent disappointment when I don't!

So much has happened in the last few months, that the time seems like such a blur. The pregnancy is actually going well, so far. At 33 weeks, I STILL cannot believe it. I have said that since 24 weeks, when my water broke with Caitlyn. But, I do suppose that it is time to accept that it looks promising that we will actually bring this baby home from the hospital...even as I write it, I see that I still phrase it as "looks promising"...It is so hard to put myself "out there" again and dare I say it, hope, that this pregnancy will end well. I have avoided all preparations for this baby until just last week, and even then, I only ordered a car seat. Part of that stems from being so busy with Zachary; but, I readily admit that most of it is because I'm afraid to get my hopes up. I actually feel that I have handled the stress of this pregnancy much better than I expected that I would...But, I do think that being so busy taking care of Zachary has had everything to do with that. Otherwise, I probably would have been engulfed in pessimism.

Now, the feelings of guilt - for being able to carry this baby so long, when I failed Caitlyn - and moving on - that people will see this new baby and forget Caitlyn - are hitting hard. I wonder if I will feel that same intense rush of love when this baby is born as when I met Caitlyn; and that also brings guilty feelings, both if I do or if I don't. I suppose that I won't be able to resolve these questions until the little one arrives.

I don't want this time to end; being pregnant is simply amazing, and I have truly enjoyed every single minute. It really is a miracle of nature, how so many conditions can come together juuuust right and produce a new little person. And, experiencing all of this again makes me somewhat "mad at the universe" all over again, since Caitlyn died. But, I continue to remind myself of that reality, that I have accepted that reality, and now my options revolve around how I handle this new phase.

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (1) | Permalink

MY GOODNESS, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME...

Dec 30, 2007 08:47pm (EST)

Caitlyn's second birthday and anniversary of her death came and went this fall...It was...different...than last year, certainly. It didn't hurt any less, it was just different...Easier, in many ways, I suppose, because I have learned to deal with the grief and missing my daughter as part of my daily life. Difficult, in other ways, to realize that so much time has passed since I last saw her beautiful face and held her in my arms.

For so long, I was nearly obsessed with all things preemie and neonatal death and grief and...I needed every bit of information I could get my hands on...I needed to talk to every other mom who "understood." As I learned to incorporate my grief into my life, I suppose that need faded, because I can now see that I feel more...well-rounded (although that's not a good descriptor, no other comes to mind). I think of Caitlyn so often and I miss her terribly, but I am able to function once again, although even that is very different than before experiencing this loss. I am not the same person as before knowing her, and that has created various difficulties, from changes in my marriage to my spiritual beliefs. Nonetheless, I am grateful for the changes because I know that Caitlyn's love is the reason.

So, now, two years later, my husband and I have found the strength to try to have another baby (Caitlyn was our first). Our initial attempt at facing that fear ended with me losing twins...pretty crushing, to say the least. Then by some incredible timing, and I have to believe that my Bean had some part in this, I found myself pregnant just after her birthday AND we were blessed with our adopted little boy who joined our family just days after we remembered her death anniversary.

I feel as if I have run the full gamut of possible human emotions these past two years. I can't imagine anything worse than what we have experienced by watching our daughter die. Even now, as we are blessed with our son and this pregnancy, I can't help but feel cheated by everything we have missed with our daughter. The sadness and anger has resurfaced, to some degree, but it is mitigated by hope.

Now the real challenge is facing the incredible fear of a pregnancy after losing Caitlyn. I don't think I would ever "feel ready" to face this, but we were able to find the strength when we realized that our every waking moment was not consumed by the sadness and grief of losing our Bean. Yet, as I expected, the fear is mounting as my pregnancy progresses...For so long, I didn't particularly feel the need to be surrounded by every possible resource; I felt strong enough to survive in my "new normal." But, today, I find a great deal of comfort logging on to be with families who "get it."

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (3) | Permalink

CAITLYN'S FRIENDS

Mar 19, 2007 08:10am (EST)

Name Judy M Smith
From VA, USA
Time 12/24/2006 9:26:47 AM
Comments:
Although we have never met, your precious daughter has touched my life. I too lost a beautiful boy in Aug of 1995 and I hope and pray that Joshua and Caitlyn can play and laugh together. They say there is nothing sweeter than the songs of baby angels together and in my heart I know it is true. I wish your family peace in the new year.

Name Alicia Weiman
From Illinois
Time 12/17/2006 6:56:06 PM
Comments:
Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to your little angel Caitlyn! I think of you and your family very often. Take care of your Mommy and Daddy....they are wonderful people! Love, Alicia

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (2) | Permalink

CAITLYN'S FRIENDS

Oct 14, 2006 11:32pm (EST)

Name Sara
From Virginia, USA
Time 9/18/2006 1:28:58 PM
Comments:
I know that Caitlyn is one of the prettiest angels in Heaven. I wish you strength as you pass this milestone so many miles away. I wish you hope that the future can provide happiness. I wish you peace to enjoy each day as it comes. All my best wishes, Sara

Name Doug
From Va/USA
Time 9/18/2006 7:56:29 AM
Comments:
May the beauty of your memories continue to warm all of our hearts. You are very special and your parents are very special. Watch over them as you enjoy your special day.

Name Jade
From Georgia
Time 9/15/2006 11:20:49 PM
Comments:
We love you so much, Caitlyn. You'll never know how deeply you touched my heart, and I know one day our paths will meet again. Until that day, please keep an eye on us - be our angel and our guiding light in this dark world. I thank God I was able to hold you, and be able to touch your face. I love you very much and I keep you in my hear always.

Name Michelle
From Virginia
Time 9/15/2006 7:31:31 PM
Comments:
I hope that you know how special you are and how many lives you have touched.

Name Bettie Kennedy
From MD
Time 9/15/2006 3:07:22 PM
Comments:
God Bless you.

Name Karoline Hurd
From Arlington, VA
Time 9/15/2006 11:56:50 AM
Comments:
Happy birthday, Caitlyn. I am thinking of you today . . . your mommy and daddy are very special to me, so please watch over them. You touched so many lives!

Name Melissa Tony
From Virginia, USA
Time 9/15/2006 10:04:15 AM
Comments:
Happy Birthday in Heaven precious one! I am sure the angles are taking very good care of you. May God be with your family during this time.

Name Hart Nelson
From Prague
Time 9/15/2006 10:02:51 AM
Comments:
Daddies are supposed to be able to spoil their little girls with gifts, but I can't do that this year honey. All I can give you is my love, thoughts and prayers that you are happy where you are. Mommy made you a birthday cake, and I pray with all my might that you will be watching over us today. Tell your great grandparents, aunts and uncle that they need to spoil you for us. We miss you so much. Love, Daddy

Name Liza Cooper
From NYC
Time 9/15/2006 9:30:41 AM
Comments:
Dear Valerie, I know this would have been Caitlyn's first birthday and that you miss her so. I am sending warmth to you, your husband and to your baby girl. I hope that my mother can meet your little Bean in the stars and she can teach her to paint and draw! I hope you are doing okay in Prague...I know it cannot be easy, especially since you wanted to be there with Caitlyn. I am sending care and hope for beautiful joys to come for you. Warmly, Liza Cooper Director, March of Dimes NICU Family Support

Name Melanie~Aidan Lee's mommy
From Minnesota
Time 9/15/2006 8:01:32 AM
Comments:
Happy 1st birthday in Heaven, Caitlyn !!! May you surround your mother and father with your peace and love today. I'm sure the celebration in Heaven will be grand and that all your little angel friends and angel family will be singing Happy Birthday loud enough for us to hear it on earth! We celebrate your life, we celebrate you~ precious sweet girl. Happy Birthday!

Name Christina Lloyd
From DC
Time 9/15/2006 7:15:22 AM
Comments:
Happy Birthday Bean. You have touched so many. Have an extra special day today!!!!

Name Nicole Vagnerini
From Virginia, USA
Time 9/15/2006 7:07:47 AM
Comments:
Happy Birthday dear sweet Bean. We miss you incredibly, but know you still live in all of us. My thoughts and prayers are of you Valerie and Hart. We miss you both!

Name Rob Davis
From Arlington, VA
Time 9/15/2006 6:56:33 AM
Comments:
Hi there sweetie, My warmest wishes to you on your birthday...we miss you terribly, but I know you are looking out for all of us. We love you! Rob

Name Kelly (We Remember)
From Ontario, Canada
Time 9/14/2006 11:20:40 PM
Comments:
Happy Birthday sweet bean. May you frolic in heaven above with all our angels, today is your day! Valerie - wishing you comfort and strength today and always. ~ A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts ~ Liam and Vanessa's mom

Name Shannon Gilbert
From Maryland
Time 9/14/2006 4:03:48 PM
Comments:
Happy Birthday, Caitlyn. I think and pray for you, your Mom and Dad often. Please watch over them and give them strength tomorrow. For such a little angel, you have touched so many lives. I know God will throw you one great party.

Name Tina Solomita
From Arlington, VA
Time 9/14/2006 10:00:06 AM
Comments:
Valerie & Hart, we are always here for you and have your family in our thoughts and prayers. Caitlyn's spirit is so special and will continue to touch so many hearts. Caitlyn's lily plant has a new bloom and it's beautiful, just like Caitlyn...

Name Debi James
From Virginia/USA
Time 9/14/2006 8:35:43 AM
Comments:
Sweetheart, ask God if you can take a short break and give Mommy a kiss on the cheek - she misses you so much.

Name Dona Dei
From Washington DC
Time 9/14/2006 7:51:03 AM
Comments:
Happy Birthday, Baby Girl. With love from the March of Dimes

Name Liza Cooper
From NY
Time 4/3/2006 11:02:00 AM
Comments:
Valerie, I am so fortunate to have met you. What a beloved mother you are and what a beloved daughter is Caitlyn. I wish she could be here still in your arms. I do know that you carry her in the cradle of your warm, wonderful heart every day. And each of us who has read Bean's story, carries her too. With Deepest Care, Liza Cooper, Director, March of Dimes NICU Family Support

Name Brandi
From North Carolina
Time 3/22/2006 5:27:33 PM
Comments:
I am very sorry for loss. Your tribute to "the bean" moves me and gives me strength. She was a beautiful baby girl!

Name Sue Brendel
From wa
Time 2/27/2006 6:03:23 PM
Comments:
Valerie, Your daughter is beautiful. I just posted to your post on the MOD website and wanted to come hear more about Caitlyn. It is amazing who perfect they look. If you ever want to chat more I'm around. My MOD story and blog are both called Kate's gifts. I look forward to reading your blog. Sincerely, Sue

Name Mark Tervakoski
From Baghdad
Time 1/16/2006 3:28:11 AM
Comments:
Hart & Val, Thank you for sharing Caitlyn with me and the world on this website. I hope the new year brings you strength and blessings in the loving memory of the Bean.

Name Julie scollard
From chicago IL
Time 1/12/2006 11:18:57 PM
Comments:
I am alyssa scollard's mom and I am so sorry for your loss.. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayer's.. Your web page is a great way to share her memory.. God Bless you and your family..

Name crystal sullivan
From usa,delaware
Time 12/29/2005 6:14:35 PM
Comments:
hi i'm elijah sullivan's mommy. i am so very sorry for your loss you and your family are in my prayers. ((hugs))

Name Kayla
From Missouri
Time 12/15/2005 10:22:55 PM
Comments:
Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with us. This is a beautiful tribute to her.

Name Heidi
From Minnesota
Time 12/7/2005 3:53:44 PM
Comments:
Thank you very much for sharing your gift that you received. You have a beautiful page dedicated to your even more beautiful daughter. You are so wonderful to let each of us share a small memory of her!! God Bless your family!

Name Theresa DiFonzo
From Maryland
Time 12/1/2005 9:29:01 PM
Comments:
Thank you for sharing your precious little angel. May her strength get you both through this rough time. Love, t.

Name Joyce (aptr)
From Ontario, Canada
Time 11/25/2005 7:21:38 PM
Comments:
Caitlyn.. what a sweet, beautiful baby. I am so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing her story. This is a wonderful tribute to your daughter and the love you will always have for her

Name Marissa Geist
From California
Time 11/23/2005 4:19:59 PM
Comments:
Hello, I am sorry for you loss. I came across your web site accidentally, and I must say it has touched me deeply! I am just graduating nursing school and just finished my rotation in the newborn nursery. It was an amazing expierience to see new parents and their reacton to this little new person. I do not have children of my own yet; however I have great empathy for you and I will continue to pray for you. Your story has inspired me in the beginning of my nursing career.

Name Janie APTR
From New York
Time 11/9/2005 4:33:46 PM
Comments:
I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet Caitlyn. Thank you for sharing her with us.

Name Shannon Gilbert
From Arlington, VA
Time 11/8/2005 3:05:12 AM
Comments:
Valerie and Hart, our thoughts and prayers are with you and Caitlyn. Please know that we are here for you.

Name Nick Whiteside
From O'Fallon, IL
Time 11/7/2005 7:44:27 AM
Comments:
Valerie and Hart, the story of your little "Bean", and the magnitude of the love you have outpoured in your written words of how deeply your daughter touched your lives stirs our souls. I am saddened by your great loss, but also encouraged by your even greater faith that God called Bean home to heaven way before you thought you would have to let her go. May God richly bless your lives and one day restore your joy with the blessing of children, who indeed will make your lives rich.

Name Cory Rush
From Pennsylvania
Time 11/3/2005 4:41:23 PM
Comments:
Sometimes great blessings come in small packages. Though her stay with us was far too short, her impact will be long lasting. Hold her memory dear and know that she is waiting for you to join her at God's side in Heaven.

Name the gunsolly family
From arizona
Time 11/2/2005 1:47:12 PM
Comments:
im so sorry for your lost. what a nice website you have. may god bless your heart. rest in peace.

Name Jan Cunningham
From MD
Time 10/31/2005 9:00:17 AM
Comments:
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Jan

Name Stephanie Suarez
From Texas
Time 10/29/2005 9:56:42 PM
Comments:
I'm so sorry for your loss, your baby girl is beautiful! I too have also lost a child..here is his website if you'd like to visit--http://www.babiesonline.com/b/babyjuaniv Lots of hugs and love!

Name Joanne
From ny
Time 10/21/2005 1:04:09 PM
Comments:
I want to tell you how sorry i am for your loss. i too have lost. my firt loss was at 21 weeks. and the second at 17 weeks. what a beautiful baby girl. and what a beautiful web page you made for her. no words can tell you how sorry i am. sleep with the angels beautiful caitlyn.

Name Margaret Moore
From MI
Time 10/18/2005 2:33:54 PM
Comments:
Dear Caitlyn, You are up in heaven with many babies to keep you company. My Baby Zack is up there with you and alot of your mommy and daddy's new found friends' babies r there with you also. Watch over your mommy and daddy and always send them butterfly kisses. Sending Love & Prayers from a New Friend.

Name Denise & David Miller
From Wisconsin
Time 10/18/2005 9:54:11 AM
Comments:
You meant so much to so many people. You will always be remembered and thought of as an angel.

Name Dean Fletcher
From California
Time 10/17/2005 5:12:33 PM
Comments:
Caitlyn may your soul rest in peace. The following is from “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle and Randy Thomas “There's two things I know for sure. She was sent here from heaven, and she's daddy's little girl. As I drop to my knees by her bed at night, she talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes. And I thank God for all of the joy in my life” You touched so many lives, in so many ways you are truly an angel and we will always remember your fight and determination. Love Dean, Kelley, Abigail, and Caden

Name Ann & Tim Schmidt
From Columbia, MO
Time 10/17/2005 9:59:39 AM
Comments:
Caitlyn, We're very sorry and sad you had to leave us so soon in life. You were an inspiration to us with your strength.

Name Lynn Wogtech
From MO / St. Louis
Time 10/17/2005 7:30:05 AM
Comments:
To Caitlyn: What a very-loved baby angel you are! Hugs & kisses from me (and many).

Name Eileen Barnicle
From Chicago, IL
Time 10/17/2005 7:26:33 AM
Comments:
Tonight when you look up, don't think of them as stars. Think of them as your loved one watching over you. Thinkg of you and your family.

Name Paula and Brent Juelich
From Saint Louis, MO
Time 10/16/2005 9:05:34 PM
Comments:
Caitlyn, We have been praying for you and for your parents during the short time you were here. We will continue to pray for you and for your mom and dad, that they may have the strength to get through this most difficult time. Watch over them always and let them know your presence. When I learned that you had left this earth and had gone to Heaven on that Friday, I was at one of the hospitals I work at - St. Joseph's Health Center in St. Charles, MO. At the exact moment that I had learned of your passing, the music that was playing in the hallway over the intercom system was Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven..."cause you know...there will be no more....tears in heaven." You have touched countless people who never met you and many more who loved you and will always love you, little one. God bless you and your mom and dad.

Name Barbara Nyman
From Virginia
Time 10/16/2005 5:01:18 PM
Comments:
You were very precious and have had the prayers of many, many people who never met you.

Name Donnie Greenlee
From Missouri
Time 10/16/2005 4:54:55 PM
Comments:
Thinking of all of you! Love ya guys!

Name Kenneth and Emily Behrle
From Saint Louis
Time 10/15/2005 8:26:42 PM
Comments:
We heard of you from our friends, the Juelich's, and we prayed for you. God Bless you Caitlyn, now it's your turn to pray for all of us.

Name Paul Brown Sr and Joann
From Florida
Time 10/15/2005 1:49:44 PM
Comments:
Caitlyn may God rest your soul you little Angel. You will always be in our thoughts and prayers.

Name Jeremy Baran
From Saint Louis, MO
Time 10/15/2005 1:16:22 PM
Comments:
Caitlyn, I knew your parents well and I know how excited they were to have you in their lives. I know you are in a much better place, and that everything happens for a reason, even though we might not know what that reason is / was. You were able to unite friends and family and have opened our eyes to what love is. Look over your Mommy and Daddy. JRB

Name Bruce and Joan Brown
From Florida
Time 10/15/2005 10:38:03 AM
Comments:
Caitlyn, you will be remembered by a lot of people who you will never know. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Name Mommy
From DC
Time 10/15/2005 4:31:39 AM
Comments:
My sweet Baby Bean, I miss you so very much. I love you more than I ever thought was possible, and I want so desperately to hold you again. You'll always be my only Bean and my perfect, beautiful daughter. Watch over me and Daddy, please, our Angel. I love you, sweetheart.

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (1) | Permalink

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