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Valerie Nelson

June 2013

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OUR MEMORIAL NOTE

Oct 15, 2005 04:22am (EST)

Hart wrote a note to our friends and family:

Family and Friends,

This is a letter I prayed I would never have to write. Our perfect, beautiful daughter Caitlyn passed away this morning. Valerie and I were both with her and we were able to hold her in our arms and give her our love when she went. The doctors made sure she wasn’t in any pain, and the love, prayers and thoughts she received from all of you made her a very special baby. Our little girl fought so hard, but at the end her body was too tired to keep fighting.

We will remember our little Caty Bean with the wonderful memories we have of the short time she was with us. She was learning to enjoy her pacifier. She hated the CPAP tube in her nose and fought the nurse every time it was moved. She was strong and figured out how to throw her pacifier when Valerie tried to take her temperature. Daddy will remember her “big” feet and reading her stories. And Mommy will remember the long hours she spent just talking to her and holding her little hand.

We love you Caitlyn Greenleigh and we know that you are happy where you are now. We will see you again soon.

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (7) | Permalink

SUCH A SPECIAL BABY

Oct 15, 2005 04:22am (EST)

I told The Bean all the time what a special baby she was. Not only had she blessed Mommy and Daddy with a perfect daughter and made us incredibly happy, but she had touched the hearts of so many people.

When she first got sick, we asked all of our friends and family to pray for her. So many of them then asked their friends, churches and friends' churches to pray for her. All of the nurses we met at the hospital prayed for her. All of the strangers I 'met' on a preemie message board prayed for her.

Very few people on this earth can unite such a large group of friends and stangers, religious and not-so-religious, in a common cause. But our Caitlyn Greenleigh did just that. So many people that didn't know her or us whispered her name for God to protect her.

I also told her that she was simply too perfect for this world. She didn't deserve any of the difficulties she faced, yet she faced them and fought so hard. Her spirit was just too strong for this earth.

She is truly a very special baby.

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THE PATH TO HEAVEN

Oct 15, 2005 04:21am (EST)

We received the dreaded call from the NICU the morning of September 30...Caitlyn started having A's (irregular breathing) and B's (irregular heartbeats) overnight and had to be intubated. She was finally diagnosed with sepsis; the doctors had already started the antibiotics. We asked every day about the risk of NEC, but were told that she was already receiving the appropriate treatment as a precaution. By the end of the week, she had the sepsis under control; but her poor little belly was so enlarged. She was really such a fighter, but there had been other complications from the original infection.

On her third week birthday, just 2 hours after I left her, the NICU called again to say that she had blood in her lungs when they suctioned her and that we should come right away. We spent the night at the hospital, and in the morning, we were told that she should be transferred for surgery to find out what was wrong with her belly (exploratory NEC surgery, essentially). That was her last chance, we were told.

We were ready to have her transported, but I wanted to hold my baby first; We had only been able to touch her in the isolette before. We sat down in rockers and the nurse put her in my arms. I was amazed at how heavy she felt. We told her how much we loved her and that we would always be with her. We thanked her for coming to us. We held and kissed her as she went to Heaven, a short 22 days after God blessed us with her.

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HEEEEEEEERE'S THE BEAN

Oct 15, 2005 04:21am (EST)

At 26.5 weeks, on September 15, contractions started and our beautiful baby girl was born! We had waited to find out if The Bean was a boy or a girl, so the surprise was wonderful! We had her name all ready for her...Caitlyn Greenleigh.

Although she was quite premature, she was so very strong! She really didn't have any problems at all in the NICU for the first 2 weeks. The doctors all commented on how well she was doing and didn't expect her to have any major complications. I spent every day with her, changing her diapers, taking her temp, cleaning her eyes, reading to her, talking to her, holding her hand.

She had such a personality already...Pulling out the CPAP all the time, throwing her pacifier when she didn't want it, stretching oh so big with her long legs and arms, sleeping so peacefully in the most adorable positions.

She was growing big and taking all of her feedings from breast milk, instead of the IV. We counted the days until we could hold her, until we could bring her home.

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THE HOSPITAL

Oct 15, 2005 04:19am (EST)

My water broke at 24 weeks, and I was admitted to the hospital on Trendelemberg bedrest on September 2. The first few days were especially frightening, because the doctors said that the babies are usually born within 24 to 48 hours after rupturing of the membranes. At just over 24 weeks gestation, that would be very risky for The Bean.

I was given a treatment of steroids the first 2 days, to stimulate the production of surfactant in The Bean's lungs and help them mature. I was also given a regime of antibiotics to help prevent infection.

Other than that, I basically took it one day at a time, hoping that labor would not start. Every day that the baby stayed inside of me helped her grow stronger.

I started a journal to The Bean while I was in the hospital. I made every kind of deal with her that I could, if she'd only keep 'cooking' for a while longer. The journal was a comforting way for me to tell her everything I was thinking and tell her about her new family, with the intention of her reading it someday when she was older.

Posted by Valerie Nelson | Comments: (0) | Permalink

FUN TIMES AHEAD

Oct 15, 2005 04:19am (EST)

I had a very easy pregnancy, with only a handful of days with 'evening sickness'...I never felt bad in the mornings, which was good because I'm not much of a morning person, anyway!

And, *I* don't think I had any crazy pregnancy hormones...Although Hart might say differently! I didn't even have any odd cravings...Everything was moving along smoothly. I just kept waiting for that first little squirm inside!

And then I felt it! I was working at home late one night and felt something new in my belly. I just sat there for several minutes, trying to tell if it was the baby or just my stomach. I could feel swirls inside...It was The Bean swimming around! Every day after that, I tried so hard to focus on everything I felt, to see if The Bean was making herself known.

It didn't take long and the swirls became stronger, and I could feel The Bean more and more. Hart still couldn't feel anything on the outside, though. But then, it wasn't much longer again, and we could see my stomach changing shapes as The Bean pushed with her little arms and legs and head! We would poke back when she moved and talk to her. So many times, she would move again in response!

I had so much fun being pregnant! I talked to The Bean all the time. She got a 'baby massage' every morning, as I told her, when I put stretch mark cream on my belly! Hart and I read her stories every night.

I loved watching my belly grow, wondering what The Bean was doing inside; what he/she would look like; what he/she would become. I couldn't wait to meet the baby, but I didn't want the pregnancy to end, either. I joked that I had such a great time being pregnant that it probably meant labor would be so hard...I didn't even know.

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AND, WE'RE OFF

Oct 15, 2005 04:18am (EST)

A short week later, after finding out about The Bean, we moved to D.C. for Hart's new job. He had landed a coveted position as a Foreign Service Officer with the State Department. We would be in D.C. for training, and then off to who-knew-where.

I kept my job in St. Louis, working out of a local office in D.C. and traveling back to Missouri. We found out that we were assigned to Prague, Czech Republic and would leave at the end of April 2006. Our plan was that I would work until language training started in September, and then study until the baby arrived in December. The Bean would then keep me very busy!

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HERE COMES THE BEAN

Oct 15, 2005 04:17am (EST)

We found out about The Bean on Saturday, April 23, 2005. After the doctor cautioned us that it would likely take 6 to 9 months to get pregnant, I figured I was 'late' the first month just because my body was readjusting. I took a home pregnancy test, though, to be sure. Much to our surprise, it was immediately bright pink...all three of the tests!

Eager to tell family, we immediately called our parents...Only to get the answering machines at both houses! I will probably always remember telling our folks about the baby...It seems to be one of those random memories that just stays in your mind so vividly. It was a gorgeous, sunny day, and Hart and I were washing the car, waiting for the return phone calls. When our parents called, we told Grandma and Grandpa about the good news. There was so much happiness for a new baby, but anxiety also; Hart and I were scheduled to move to D.C. the very next week. And after that, we didn't know when or where Hart's job would take us.

Being so impatient, as I usually am, I ran to the store to find a baby book. I told Hart that the book said the baby at that time was close to the size of a bean. 'What kind of bean?', we asked...It didn't matter, though...From then on, Mommy and Daddy were expecting 'The Bean'. The nickname quickly caught on, as friends and family came to know about The Bean.

At the doctor's appointment the next week, she confirmed that The Bean was 6 weeks old and due on December 18. When we told the doctor of the baby's nickname, she joked that the baby was really more like the size of a raisinette, based on the ultrasound. But, The Raisinette just didn't have the same ring to it as The Bean!

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