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THE SHERIFF TWINS

[Sheriff]

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Sheriff

May 2008
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AWAKE & ALERT

May 08, 2008 08:57pm (EST)

Matthew has turned a corner and loves to check things out, cry a lot and turn some heads in the NICU. He is definitely making his presence known...it's great! It feels like he "grew up" a little in the last few days. He is acting more and more like a typical newborn (despite the fact that he will be 2 months old tomorrow). He weighed in at a whopping 3 lbs, 10 oz! They are going to try him off of CPap on Monday. They took him off everything for 30 minutes today- no CPap, no nasal cannula...nothing. I was able to hold him and just love on him. He loved it and so did I! It was the first time I have held him for any length of time w/o a breathing apparatus on. It was great.
We read books and just hung out and tried to ignore the monitors.

Tonight he was so feisty for his feeds that he pulled out his feeding tube- twice! With Charlie, I would get so stressed out when he wailed. With Matthew, it is the greatest blessing. He is finally acting like a healthy baby...we feel very lucky.

Matthew and Michael were born 2 months ago tomorrow. It feels like an eternity and yesterday all at the same time. Life has been pretty emotional lately- the enormity of everything has started to settle in a bit. Thankfully Matthew is making great strides and is keeping me smiling through my tears.

PS What a long road Matty has traveled; here are a few pictures of Matty. Photo one- day one- when Matty was born at 1lb, 7 oz. He is with his proud Daddy; photo two- Easter (two weeks old) and the final photo was taken this week as he snuggled against his Mommy. In an earlier post, I mentioned that the boys' isolettes were located next to one another with Jesus in the middle. My husband made this observation one night when Michael grew very ill. Matthew is still under the cross. I would be remiss without including this very important photo; there is no doubt that Matthew's brother is watching over him and so is Jesus. As Matthew gets stronger, we will most likely move and I have joked with the nurses that Jesus is coming, too.


babies 004


First Hold- Easter- 2 Weeks Old


Cuddling


My Protector

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DRESSED FOR SUCCESS

May 06, 2008 09:03pm (EST)

Matthew is enjoying being in clothes and being snuggled tightly in his baby burrito (the swaddling blankets). Tomorrow is weigh day so we'll see if the change helped him chill out and gain some weight. The good thing is that he is all snuggled in so he isn't doing aerobics all day long anymore. I was able to have two great visits with him today. His Daddy had a good visit, too. Attached are some pictures.


Nametag


Dressed for Success

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NEW DIGS...

May 04, 2008 08:10pm (EST)

Yay- Matthew is big enough to finally wear clothes. I just logged on to our webcam and thought I was looking at another baby, but sure enough it is Matty in his new digs. He looks so grown up!

He is 3 lbs, 5 oz and though this is tiny for his gestational age, he is growing so that is great. I am not sure if they will try him off CPap now or wait until 1800 grams...they are still concerned that his trachea is not mature enough. I am just praying it develops properly in time without any intervention.

He is so alert and awake now. It is fun to interact with him and watch him change by the day. He and Michael were born 8 weeks ago today...it is hard to believe. We have traveled a long, hard road since their diagnosis with TTTS in mid-December. All of Matthew's milestones are bittersweet. We are missing Michael terribly, but I am certain he is helping his brother (and us) every step of the way.
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SO ALERT

May 03, 2008 09:39pm (EST)

Matthew had a great night tonight. I was able to hold him twice today. He tolerated both times being out and was very happy. Charlene and I gave him a bath tonight, too! We were able to take him off the CPap and give his nose a break...the prongs stretch out his little nostrils- poor little guy.

They are going to try to take him off CPap again (most likely this week). They are concerned about his trach...please pray for him. I am very hopeful that he just needs to grow and no surgeries will be needed, etc. They've also added a corn supplement to his feeds to beef him up a little, too. Just working on feeding and breathing.

He was so alert and cute tonight. I can't wait until I can see his face more. He is getting to be such a big boy!


Me and Mommy (May 2008)


So Alert


Drying Off


Waving

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ONE MONTH

May 02, 2008 05:27am (EST)

Michael passed one month ago yesterday. My post-partum visit was also yesterday. It was hard going back and sitting in the room where I spent many anxious days with my boys in utero. They always made it through those visits and put on quite a show for their doctor and myself. They were tense but happy visits. I probably had over 30 sonograms total; I got to know both my boys more than most moms do before they made their grand entrance into the world. Sitting there was bittersweet today.

It was great to see our doctor, but sad to think that I won’t be able to introduce her to both Michael and Matthew one day. She is amazing. Though the outcome is not what we would have liked, she diagnosed me early, monitored me closely and recommended surgery, which ultimately saved them and brought them into this world. Sadly, TTTS is so brutal that it took quite a toll on our little Michael. Yesterday was a tough day and I miss him more and more as time passes. I am confident though that he is watching closely over Matthew who continues to grow and thrive.
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BIG DAY!

Apr 30, 2008 08:13pm (EST)

Matthew broke 3 lbs! He is actually 3 lbs, 3 oz...he has almost doubled his birth weight. We are thrilled at his progress and pray he continues to thrive. He is more and more alert every day. They are adding a corn product to his feeds to beef him up even more. He is still apnea free. These milestones are truly a blessing.

Please say a special prayer for our little angel, Michael. He left us one month ago tomorrow. There is no doubt that he is sending his love to his twin and encouraging him to grow strong so he can come home to us soon.

We are hanging in there. Each day brings new challenges and realizations, but we are trying hard to remain strong for all of our boys and eachother.
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WILD MAN- DAY 51

Apr 28, 2008 09:21pm (EST)

Yesterday marked Matthew's 50th day in the NICU. He has been pushing along and has been a wild man lately. He is exercising his lungs by crying more and working out his body by moving all around the isolette. I love to see him in action! He is still having some trouble with the apnea, but they are attributing it to him pulling off his CPap. He has been apnea free for the past 36 hours or so...let's keep our fingers crossed! He weighed in at 2 lbs, 15.5 oz last night....half an ounce shy of 3 lbs!
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CLEAN AGAIN

Apr 25, 2008 09:01pm (EST)

Just returned from the NICU. I gave Matthew a bath tonight and he got a new house, too. He will definitely sleep well tonight.

He is doing well on the CPap. The nurses told me he is a wild man and slides all the way down to the end of his isolette. I love the fact that he is so alert and curious! I also realized tonight that he is the littlest guy in there. I always think of him as getting so much bigger when it reality he hasn't hit three pounds yet. He may be tiny, but I know he is working hard. We just need to get him breathing on his own (with the assistance of the cannula, of course)! Please keep your prayers coming!!
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LITTLE MAN

Apr 24, 2008 10:20pm (EST)

I just returned from the NICU. Matthew was moved back to the CPap the night before last. After my visit, he "crashed" again so they are keeping him on the CPap until he is 1500 grams (3.5 lbs). We are fine with that- he needs to keep growing! They said that what he is doing is par for the course with little ones born early. He was after all less than a pound and a half, so he needs some time to get bigger and stronger. We are in no hurry. Please keep him in your prayers.

I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of support that our family continues to receive. I truly feel that our community (both near and far) has wrapped its arms around us during these hard times. You have truly made us smile through our tears and left us amazed. Between countless prayers, phone calls, dinners, cards, gifts for the twins and Charlie, gift cards for gas/food/baby supplies, etc. we have been showered with love and generosity. We would have never expected such a show of support- it truly leaves us speechless and so thankful.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'd like to create a children's garden for Michael one day. I thought of him in a garden of his own and wrote this poem the other night. When I think about him, it is difficult but I also smile because I know he is watching, and I can't help but think he has an active role in our healing. When I held him, and when I hold Matthew, there is an amazing feeling of love and peace. Even though Michael is physically absent- his love continues to engulf me. As Michael's mom, I feel it is important to keep his memory alive. I hope to put this poem in his garden one day.

Michael’s Garden

In Heaven’s garden there is a little boy
running through the rows,
of strawberries and banana trees and
all the fruits we know.
He laughs and samples another piece,
God smiles and says, “Eat plenty.
In Heaven we never run out of anything…not milk, not fruit, not honey.
You are amongst the finest garden that Earth has never seen,
You can find everything you need- it’s luscious and perfectly green.”
The little boy laughed and smiled as he started back through the rows,
To think that it would be here in Heaven that he would live and grow.
All earthly wants diminished as the boy chose the plumpest peach,
Everything that sweet Michael needed was finally in reach.
God smiled at his son and Michael smiled, too,
In Heaven’s garden there is a little boy, perfectly content…perfectly new.

-MWS
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UPDATE...

Apr 22, 2008 09:25pm (EST)

I just got back from a good visit with Matthew. His Auntie AB came along and he loved seeing her. She is a nurse so she changed his bed- it is nice and cozy for him now. I am sure he appreciated it!

Matthew had a few apnea spells today but they just required a few pats on the "hiney" as Charlie would call it. I am so glad that he had a relatively good day today. They are watching him closely and they think the caffeine will help- he just got the increased dosage tonight. I am glad the doctors can remain so calm and collected- it is hard to do the same as a parent. I trust their judgement- they see this a lot, it is just sometimes hard to "ride it out" in the passenger seat.

They gave Matthew a bottle for the first time today. He only took 5 cc's but it's a start! They said I can give him one tomorrow if all goes well.

Please coninue to keep our little guy in your prayers. We definitely feel their power.
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