Baskets for NICU Parents

I guess I would go back to when Molly was in and what might have made things easier for us:

Maybe a gift certificate to a nearby sandwich shop, fast food place, bagel shop, or something along those lines
A journal would be great
Maybe a bubble gum cigar for a congrats on the birth
A disposable camera (talk to local drugstores or camera shops -- they might even donate a bunch, with free developing)

I hope that helps. I was trying to think of things for the parents. One other thing I just thought of -- a list of local names and numbers or PoPs who could be called when an ear or shoulder is needed.

Good luck with this Melissa. It is a great idea.

Kathleen

Melissa,

You are such a sweet & caring person to think of things that are always helping others. Thank you for all you do for PoP's & preemies!!! You are a blessing to all of us!!

I can put some input into the area of parents who have lost a child, but as far as the NICU parents needs, I have no experience in that area.

Things that parents who have lost a child in the NICU would benefit from:
1. March of Dimes has awesome bereavement materials, maybe you can get them to send you a packet for each basket.
2. Memory boxes, something to keep their mementos is.
3. Disposable camera so the nurses & family/friends can take pictures. (I regret not taking pictures of my son while he was in the hospital, but it didn't occur to me then)
4. Journal - it was very healing to me to be able to journal my feelings - looking back now I don't remember feeling that so I am glad I did it.

Trying to keep the list short, it has been a while. But you know what you are doing & you will impact lives with whatever you put in these baskets.

Thank you, Melissa, for all you are doing to help other PoP's and to honor Alex's memory & to honor Benjamin, Callie, and Donovan's accomplishments!!

Good luck in your endeavor & let me know what you end up putting in your baskets, I am interested in starting something in this area like that when time permits me.

)))hugs to you!!(((

Sharlene

What a great idea!

I think that the food gift certificate (even $5 to McDonald's) is a great idea. You can only eat in the cafeteria so many times! Or even just a list of restaurants nearby....

One thing we received at the first hospital was a list of services/support information for our baby. This might be difficult to put in a generic basket but if they are all going to a hospital in your area it might work. Our list included things we would be eligible for such as: 1) Medicaid after 30 days 2) Children's Special Health, 3) WIC 4) SSI, etc. It included phone numbers of who to contact to get more information. We wound up handing out this list to many parents at the second hospital we were at because they were not given anything, nor told about these services. This information was invaluable to us!

In addition, a list of reference material (like the "Preemies" book and the web address for the SHARE website) would be great too. Maybe a list of local places for car seat checks wouldn't be bad either.

How about phone cards so they can call loved ones to let them know about their new miracle? (I know most people have cell phones but since you can't use them around the NICU payphones are sometimes easier!).

Here are just some other random ideas: Books to read to the babies, poems of hope, and definitely some "congratulations!" things (probably more important than anything).

Oh! And what about a list of advice from other NICU parents? (I am sure I know where you could get some!)

My advice would be to take a picture of your child with some sort of "prop" next to them. When you just have a picture of the baby it is hard to go back and remember exactly how small they are. I have heard of people using dollar bills (in a ziploc bag, of course) or tape measures. We put my husbands wedding ring on her arm and took a picture. It is amazing to look back and remember exactly how small they were! (I could start a whole topic on this - maybe I will see if there is already one started somewhere...)

Sorry to have rambled on, I just got carried away!

Good Luck!
Jackie

Melissa;

I would like to start be saying what a wonderful person you are to do this...That is so caring and so thoughtful... and a wonderful idea.

You are a true sweetie.....

I agree with Jackie about the services/support information our hospital did not give such information, and it was so needed and would have been something that could have lessen the burden at the time Jacob arrived

Also I agree absolutely Food Certificates to nearby restaurants or coffee shops, Journal, Lots of MOD info, books about preemies, and the web address to share. Disposable Camera, wow the list could go on and on thinking back...

I am sure you will do great.... WHAT A WONDERFUL THOUGHTFUL IDEA !!!!!!!! Good Job Melissa.....



Hugs & Kisses to the babies
Melody
Proud Nana to Jacob Aaron "My Hero"

What about The list of the thing we all came up with that we can't/couldn't live with out? I love all the other suggestions to! Maybe you could talk to the gerber company and see it they would donate some packs of there premie oneis. You could brake them up and put one in each basket. I also think a marker to write on the clothing or other gifts that they recive that they would like to leave.

Melissa,

Well, everyone has given you all of the great ideas already!! You are an awesome person, so thoughtful. Good luck with the baskets! Honestly, I think the most important thing to give them is giving them anything, letting them know that they are not alone in this, and there are others out there to support them, to be leaned on, to pray for them and their children. I know my journal, my camera, and my free parking stickers were in my daily NICU survival bag. Oh, maybe some hand lotion (an anti-bacterial, non-perfume kind) to put on after leaving the NICU...all that scrubbing is rough on the hands, and you don't want to put rough hands on your preemie!

Donna

Hi Melissa.... here is what our had:

A phone card for 120 min.

a $5 gas card (all that travel is expensive)

2 toothbrushes and a tiny tube of t-paste, sample deodorant

a sample of lanolin (for ouchy breast pump use)

hospital map

I think the best gift would have been a disposable camera. I didn't "pack" to go to the hospital, I had no idea when I left home I wouldn't be back for 3 months.

Another idea would be a complilation of places that will host their babies' photos for FREE. Family will want to see their miracles and noone wants extra people in the NICU. Gift cards are awesome because money is always tight when you are paying a morgage and traveling expenses for months on end. Ronald McDon (although a deal) was $20 a night; do that times 3 months and it is $1800! Add gas, meals, medical bills, and WOW!

This is a great idea. You never cease to amaze me... you have your hands full and are still thinking of other's needs. *hugs* I feel proud to call you my friend.

Thank you everyone for your wonderful suggetions! You have paved my way to baskets filled with helpful and hopeful items for the receiving parents. You guys are all the best!

Melissa Middleton

Melissa -

I'm wondering how many NICU baskets you made and if you plan on giving the NICU a new supply of these baskets every so often. What did you end up putting in your baskets?

Also - are you a MOD ambassador? I just filled out a form to be a MOD ambassador and wonder if this is the type of thing that ambassador families do. I love it!!

Lori

Lori,

Because I am not an organization, it is difficult to fund this project without financial backing from big businesses. Because of this, I rely on the generosity of others. I have funded as much as I can .... but this does not make nearly enough baskets.

People asked me what our kids needed for their birthday. I suggested giving a small donation to one of three charities we support. 1 is the MOD BEANIE BABIES, 2 is NICU Welcome and Grief Baskets 3 is to a charity that needs $'s to fund research for sick kids, that is not the MOD.

The response was overwhelming! We sold 18 Beanies, was able to give a nice donation to the other charity, and our baskets have been nicely funded too.

I placed a note in each basket that read: Welcome or Please Accept Our Heartfelt Sympathy For Your Loss (depending on the basket) Please accept this gift basket (in honor of or in memory of) your precious preemie child. This gift was made possible by the contributions from an extended list of people, and all information on prematurity has been furnished by the March of Dimes. Together, we can make a difference.

And then I listed a brief description and address of SHARE.

Inside the baskets is a card...that expresses the appropriate sentiment

Also in the welcome baskets:
1 unscented hand lotion
1 hand sanitizer
1 small pack of Kleenex
1 bar of travel soap
1 small pack of handy wipes
1 small toothpaste
2 small toothbrushes
1 disposable camera
1 baggy with 75 cents for the coke machine
2 lollypops

In the grief baskets:
1 unscented hand lotion
2 small packs of Kleenex
1 bar of travel soap
1 small toothpaste
2 small toothbrushes
1 disposable camera
1 baggy with 75 cents for the coke machine
1 packet of sunflower seeds (my favorite)
hints about how to go about making arrangements when a baby has died

Each basket contains a scrapbook envelope with room for baby's name, weight, length, (baptism date) feet/hand prints....parents name...name of favorite or 1st nurse who cared for child...

I am posting this same note under your response concerning other orgs. supporting this project...

Hugs,

Melissa Middleton (mom of 25 wkr' quads. Alex *deceased*, Benjamin, Callie, and Donovan: 2 years old)

As the March of Dimes Division Director in her home town, I've had to privilege and honor to work with Melissa over the last few months, and I am overjoyed and overwhelmed at what a special lady she is.

She really is this nice! And we're all blessed to know her. She inspires me to do a better job!

Thanks Melissa

Linda

Melissa you are defintitely something.

At our hospital in Georgia, Northside. We have a group called Parents Partnered For Preemies. We are now funded by the wonderful and generous Northside Hospital Auxiliary. They provide enough funds for us to deliver care bags to all babies under 37 weeks that spend time in the NICU. These bags consist of a really nice bag with our logo, a camera, a couple of drinks and snacks, magazines from Atlanta Baby, receiving blankets, beanie babies, Journals and pens, magnets and letters from our group letting the people know that they are not alone. I am so proud of our group and feel that we are making a difference.

Take care!

This is such a great idea.... new nicu parents need all of the support they can get.
One thought for future baskets... there are two poems that I have copies of somewhere in the mess that is my classroom One is called "Heaven's very special child" It starts something like "a meeting was called far from earth, it was time again for another birth...". I can't remember the name of the other one but it's about a family who is planning a trip to France but ends up in Holland instead. At first the family is devestated because they wanted to go to France so much, but eventually they realize that Holland is not such a bad place - it's a metaphore (sp?) for how it feels to have a special needs child.

I always give them out to parents on Open School Night. If you're interested, I could find them and get them to you. Like I said, I don't know where anything in my classroom is because I had to leave it so abruptly in November
Donna - mom to Alexander - 28 weeker born November 19, 2004

Linda -

Thank you for being such a sweetheart and working so hard on behalf of the smallest voices! I am humbled you think so much of me...my kids are my greatest inspiration, and they have lead me to the greenest pastures and the brightest possiblities...more than I could have ever dreamed before having them.

Donna-

I would LOVE copies of your poems. I have seen both of them before, and they brought me comfort. Since they have brought so many parents of your students comfort...and yourself...I can only see good things from passing these little nuggets of wisdom on...Thank you for the great suggestion!

Melissa Middleton

Hey Melissa,
these are the poems...now that I read them again, the language in then "heaven's very special child" one sounds a little dated.. the Holland one is better...
Donna

"Welcome to Holland"

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this:
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

- Emily Pearl Kingsley

HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD
A meeting was held quite far from Earth!
It's time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the LORD above,
This Special Child will need much love.
His progress may be very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show.
And he'll require extra care
From the folks he meets down there.
He may not run or laugh or play,
His thoughts may seem quite far away,
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where he's sent,
We want his life to be content.
Please LORD, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play,
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild,
Is HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD.
by Edna Massionilla
December 1981

These were really beautiful.

Shannon

Thank you Donna! I see what you mean about wording...but...it still brought you and me comfort....so I'll bet parents will not look to hard at the words as much as the meaning of the words as they hook together! The Holland poem is very beautiful, and I am sure that the gift of words that you have extended to the NICU baskets will be very much appreciated by parents who are heartbroken and terrified....Thank YOU!

Melissa Middleton

Okay guys,

Put your creative minds to work for the common good of preemie parents!

I am creating scrapbook envelopes with small pockets on the outside. These pocket holders will have a space for first picture, foot prints, hand prints, and crib card.

Any ideas on how to cheaply and fairly easily do this....as I have a bunch to make...also, I would like for it to be as cute as it possibly can be...so I know you are the crowd to come to for cute, right?

Thanks!

Melissa Middleton

Melissa,

I am trying to imagine what you mean... but I can't picture it. Must be because I only had 2 shots of espresso in my coffee today. LOL. Can you explain again to my ill-wired brain?

Sure Darcy,

Okay, the envelopes are generic white (like at office depot) so large enough to mail something in (though I am not mailing anything) on the outside there are 3 small pasted envelopes and a square saying (post picture here). So there is available space for the footprints...fingerprints...first picture...etc.

So, the problem is - I want to dress these envelopes up...like you would for a scrapbook...I would love ideas on how to do this cheaply but look really nice....and my scrapbook share buddies (like you) I know can help me think of a clever idea for this....

Hopefully I making sense...I had my shot of espresso so I don't have an excuse!

Melissa Middleton

Melissa,

Ok, I think I have a better understanding now. (Blame the coffee, not the upcoming *30*!)

I think the most cost-effective way would be to invest in a set of baby themed stamps. Stickers are consumable and stamps can be used over and over and an ink pad goes a long way. Do they have an "Archivers" in TX? They have sooo many little hands and feet... rocking horses, baby blocks, etc. Also a company called Stampin' Up has online samples of all their stamps, but you'll need to find a consultant (like Creative Memories or Avon) in order to purchase. Perhaps we have a SHARE member who is a Stampin' Up consultant who could donate the stamps and write it off??? (Girls????)

That's probably what I would do. As far as knowing *how* to stamp. I have no idea. But I bet someone will!!

Best of luck to you, you have a heart of gold.
Darcy

Darcy,

That is a great idea, and one that I completely failed to think about...! Thank You! I'll look into that as soon as possible!

Melissa

Melissa,

Jumping on Darcy's stamp idea....they have rolling stamps too that would make a cute border. I've seem them at Michael's and other scrapbook stores. You can download borders too off some scrapping websites (www.scrapjazz.com or www.creativekeepsakes.com) but then you would have to print them for each envelope and adhere them. I'll keep thinking and I'll check out my scrap mags too. What a great idea!

Donna

Hi Melissa,
I just wanted to let you know that you've inspired me to do something similar in our NICU. There was no support group or anything when I had my son - my husband and I were just in this limbo type hell. The NICU couldn't even find a pamphet on premature birth to give to me for 2 days! Anyway, I was just doing some research on buying wholesale and I found this website
www.nextlevelsavings.com - I haven't ordered anything yet, but they have all kinds of trial size stuff that you can buy in bulk....
 
Take care,
Donna

Donna!

Thank you so much for the GREAT tip! I just checked out the site...and I think that this new devleopment has great potential to help us help a greater number of people. (I am on the internet every day..and did not even think of looking up deals online!)

Thank YOU!

Melissa

Dear SHARE Friends,

Many of you gave great feedback about what should be put into the "Welcome" NICU baskets! Thank you so much. I love to give credit where credit is due...and SHARE was thanked on the list of those who helped make the baskets possible!

Also, the MOD's gave me LOTS of GREAT information to put into the baskets...and donated some wonderful journals! So of course, the MOD's is greatly appreciated too.

Because I am so grateful, I also added the SHARE and MOD websites to the greeting cards attached to the baskets.

Please know that you made a difference today to lots of families! Your input and support is invaluable!

Hugs,

Hey Melissa,
I just got my Oriental Trader catalog today (a teacher's best friend!!!!) They have some cool stuff at good prices, they even had Angel pins... if you're interested, it's
www.orientaltrading.com
Donna

Donna,

Thank you so much for sharing yet another wonderful resource! And trust me, I am using each one you pass along!

Melissa

Melissa,

I started reading all about your baskets and all he ideas you were getting. I would like to do this for my hospital here in Minnesota. My son was also born at 25 weeks and is doing ok. I would like to know if I have your premission to use your ideas. I also would like to know how you got this funded. Please email me at patrick.murphy@mchsi.com

sylvia murphy mom of Carson 15 months old now

Sylvia,

Of course you are more than welcome to use the basket idea! I LOVE that you like it so well...and are going to use it to make a difference in someone else's life. How WONDERFUL that you are wanting to do this!

I contacted my local MOD chapter...I held a fundraiser at my children's birthday party...and this school year I am going to contact schools to see if we can raise money for this as a service project.

Also, Donna has come up with some great sites with cheap stuff you can buy in bulk. I would suggest checking that out!

Hugs,

Melissa

Melissa,

I know the baskets you've done will be so great for the families that receive them. Not only are the items helpful but just knowing someone else has been there and cares goes a really long way.

I don't know that this could go in a basket but something people might consider purchasing for their local NICU to have on hand is plaster molds. Our NICU gave us a mold of Jacob's feet and it is one of my most prized possessions. The Lord now holds Jacob in His arms but I still have this precious reminder of him that I can hold and caress to remember him. I think it's a kit that they got a company to donate. It's just precious.

Susan

Melissa,
Thank you for letting me use your idea. I am going to talk to a couple of teachers i know and see if i can get them to do some fund raisers.

One question where did you get the baskets.

Sylvia

Sylvia,

Thank YOU for using this idea!

Baskets really did not work out....so I should call them gift boxes. I bought white cardboard gift boxes...and cheap paper (I got several rolls for a dollar each....more somber for the grief baskets...more peppy for the welcome baskets). I used the paper to wrap the box lids...not the whole package....to where the lid could still fit on easily.

Good Luck! Please let me know about the progress of your baskets...and any of the great ideas you come up with along the way! I am eager to hear all about it!

Happy Gift Packing!

Melissa

Susan,

I love the ideas about the molds! How GREAT! I will definitely look into this!

Thanks so much!

Melissa

Dear SHARE,

It looks like we (our local MOD office) are getting a grant for our baskets. The hitch is...and there always is one...I live in a boarder town...on that is on the edge of Louisiana and Arkansas, but is IN Texas. This grant is a TX grant, meaning I can only buy materials/baskets for parents living in TX. We do not have an NICU in our town...instead, you have to go to Shreveport or Little Rock. Still, we can supply welcome/grief baskets to people in or around our town, who live in TX.

Thank you so much Linda and whomever else made this grant for these special baskets possible. It is just wonderful and I could not be more pleased! In fact, I am giddy about it!

Also, I will be raising funds again for another load of baskets that will travel to the NICU towns. Working...working...working....and I KNOW I'll come up with something! I have the help of some wonderful friends!

Hugs,

Melissa

Dear MOD Friends!

Because of you, I was able to put together 22 baskets and 10 folders for NICU parents....hopefully this will serve 32 families...and I am just getting started!

I want to embrace each of you with the warmest kind of thanks for all you have done to make my first load of NICU baskets possible. You have been a tremendous support and help. So many of you took to this idea immediately, and made it your own mission. Without you...I doubt I would have been even a fraction as successful with our first run!

The NICU staff was overwhelmed with the generosity of so many caring people. Each card gives credit where credit is due including:

SHARE FRIENDS! The momentum behind your suggestions and ideas to make the most helpful baskets possible.....helped me reach my personal deadline...and turn these baskets into something that I hope will refresh these parents as they carry their heavy emotional, physical, and financial load.

MOD offices. Linda and Kristina...you have been an immense help to me as well...and I really am touched by how excited and helpful you have been about this project. By donating beanies, educational materials, and journals...you helped me make these baskets supportive and informative for parents. Thank YOU!

I also included the MOD/SHARE websites, drawing special attention to what they will find when they log on! Hopefully, we will have made some new friends.

Hugs,

Melissa
 

Hi All,

I just wanted to update you on what I put into my baskets...and what the final product looked like.

My baskets ended up being white gift boxes. I purchased 2 different colored rolls of cheap gift wrap. One roll was more somber and one roll was more cheerful...depending on if the box was grief or welcome. Then I wrapped ONLY the lid with the paper...taping it securely...and then replacing the lid.

Scrapbookers...this one is for you. I purchased file folders with the rubber bands used to close it. You can find them at most stores. The ones I got were brown, green, and dark blue. These kinds of folders are made so that they can grow with the amount of documents placed inside it.

On the outside of the folder, I scrapped a cover...making it cheerful as to celebrate baby.

On the back, I purchases small square gift cards with small square envelopes. At the bottom going horizontally, I glued an envelope, a colored square of paper, and a card. Above each I glued a small colored rectangle, and wrote: Foot Print, First Picture/Ultrasound, and Hand Print. On the top, above where the rubber bands meet, I placed a larger colored square with another smaller rectangle above it saying: Place Crib Card Here.

Inside the envelopes, depending on if it is welcome or grief, I placed MOD educational information.

I placed a welcome or grief card in each box....with a handwritten note...and an explanation of my 4 children. This made it seem more personal... .and might help connect with the parents. At least, it might help them feel less alone.

I placed a colored snack bag in each box containing: gum, drink mix, popcorn...etc. Things parents might need to keep them going.

Toiletries: Travel toothpaste, toothbrush, unscented lotion, hand sanitizer, Kleenex, and soap.

Welcome baskets each got a camera, and a blank label for their name.

Grief baskets included a pack of sunflower seeds and an angel pin.

Journals, pens, and sticky note pads

MOD baby beanies

There are SO many things you could put into these baskets... so many of you have shared the awesome ideas you have used in making your own baskets. Please, I encourage you to post what YOU put into your baskets so that others can see how easy it is to make this project your own!

Again. Thank you so much! You all have made me smile with fierce SHARE pride!

Melissa

Melissa,

The baskets sound beautiful and well thought out! Way to go!! I'm sure every parent who will receive one will find it helpful, and touching.

You are an amazing woman with a special gift. I'm proud to say I know you.

HUGS to the Kiddos!!
Karri

Hi everyone,
I only have a minute b/c I'm at work and the kiddies are coming in....
I brought my gifts bags for the new PoP's at Alex's NICU this past weekend.... They were very well received!
I included a journal and pen, an angel charm that says "you have been blessed" (it's a Catholic Hospital ), some candy, and a flyer for SHARE (of course)!!!!
I hope to see some more PoP's from my area on the Share site soon!!!!
Have a great day
Donna