Visitors

Hi Katie!

I was the same way you are! For that matter, people did not come to my house....period. My husband and I were the only ones to touch her. Like Laura, I would have a sign posted inches from her at all times......Did you wash your hands? Wash yours before you touch mine!

I didn't give a hoot how uncomfortable I made people when I said NO, you are not welcome, today. This is my daughter, she is in my care. If people(including grandparents) didn't understand? Tough Scoots! I had one child pass away, and another one with a 4 month nicu stay....I'm allowed to protect my daughter. They don't get it, tough.

Good Luck, stay strong, don't buckle to pressure from family and friends.

Love and Light,
Liz

I think the key point is to deliver the message gently. Tell them that your daughter just left the nicu and the drs could not stress to you how weak her immune system is. Tell them that it is imperative that she stays healthy and you are sorry if you sound crazy but they can't come over until their runny nose/cough/sneezing is completely gone. If you keep telling them she's got a weak immune system it will eventually sink in without you being labeled a nut case.

good luck!
Jackie

Thanks all! I love all of your ideas. I have covered some bases since my post and even recruited my father to kind of talk to his siblings(the super excited great aunts) and just let them know we do not want visitors. I have two close friends and many family members who have asked when I'm going to allow people to visit and meet her. I kind of brush it off at the moment because I have waay too much other stuff going on right now to stop and explain. Most of them know me and know the answer already. I am a huge facebook user and have kept people up to date on my daughter's progress that way and I may post a huge message or send a mass message to all explaining how we feel about visitors and her situation in general. I get weird looks from some because people do not understand that she is not a regular newborn!!! SO FRUSTRATING!!!! My husband has a huge church family as well and I feel like some people may just show up on our doorstep so I LOVE the sign idea on the door if my husband will let me post that Happy Holidays to all

We did allow some people, but it was strict. Only a few at a time and no kids under 15. As the NICU doctor told us he was pretty safe with teens since they don't typically spread RSV. We kept my son under these laws for eight months. Everyone holding had to be cold free and hands cleaned. Also, for the first month. Anyone holding who was not us had to wear a germ mask. The doctor said if they were carrying anything in the nasal track that would stop it. It was hard, but he did not get sick, I am pleased to report! It was tough to miss holidays and things. I went to my son's baby shower without him. Sad. But safer. I totally agree. you are the one with the knowledge on premature babes! You are the one who has to protect your child from germs also. If you find yourself with a really rude family member, or friend, my nurses told me to use the "blame us" approach. Say things like "her nurses said she couldn't be held by anyone until she was X number of months" Works like a charm!! They might think YOU are a little nutty but they don't tend to disagree with doctors and nurses. Also my ped. said "tell them to call me if they won't shut up!" I loved him for that. The hardest people to deal with for us were people who had premies in the "old" days before they knew how devestating RSV could be. They kept insisting that it was ok b/c the same rules didn't apply after discharge back then. I was a preemie myself and people said. "We didn't have to do that with you!" Ugh!
good luck. I hope people are more chill for you although I can promise some won't be... grr!
much love,
Kate

Hello,

I think that the others have given you some great suggestions. We had a sign near Tucker, and we also had a sign on the bathroom mirror, haha. Just to remind them to wash their hands when they were done in there!

It is very nice of your dad to talk to the family for you, that is a good suggestion, to get another family member to be the "bad guy" if necessary. Our son spent 9 months in the NICU, so we didn't have to give any speeches. People were terrified that they would be the one to get him sick and send him back to the hospital. But just in case, my mom would announce to anyone and everyone: "wash your hands in the kitchen or bathroom before getting near the baby". That way I didn't have to say anything to my family members, which was nice.

I also got the hanging sign for the carseat and stroller, it looked like a stop sign. It would hang in an obvious spot so no one would mess with him at doctors appointments or in waiting rooms.

We were so excited to finally have Tucker home that we didn't wait at all for anyone to see him. Everyone followed the rules of only coming over when they were feeling well, and also of washing their hands, and he did not go back to the NICU.

Good luck!

Hugs,
Leigh