My Miracle Calli

debbiebernges - 01:43am Mar 6, 2012 EST

Hi my name is Debbie, I have 3 daughters (13,10, and 20 mos). After my middle daughter turned 2 my husband and I tried for another child. Without success and some fertility we opted for adoption. Adoption we found to be very expensive and going through the county was difficult because it was at the of the time Marcus Fissle case. As I got older I assumed we would never have another child and went back to college for my bachelors in nursing. I was 12 weeks pregnant when we found out I was pregnant at 35 yrs old! The dr was thorough and explained that I was at high risk because of my age, but I knew this baby was a blessing from God! I started spotting at 26 weeks and I had a placenta that was 10 cm from my cervix. My dr wanted to put me on bedrest, but my husband was unemployeed so this was't an option. I was closely watched and did not do anything that put me at risk. At 30 weeks and the end of my shift my water ruptured(a gross rupture according to the dr). I was so scared and panicing that my baby would die. After several hours of trying to stop the labor I delivered a 2 lb 15 oz baby girl! They wisked her away so fast and then I had complications of my own. Calli was in the NICU for 5 1/2 weeks which was incredibly early as they expected her to be there for at least 10 weeks! Her biggest trouble was eating as she couldn't even suck!She is now a healthy toddler who keeps me on my toes! She gets therapy for speech, ocupational, and physical. She is truly my miracle blessing! I was blessed with a supportive husband, best friend, and extended family to help me emotionally through thsi time. I was numb many days and would cry driving to the hospital. I waould call before I went to bed to check on her, and had to get up every 2 hrs to pump for her. It became second narure to freeze my milk and take it to the NICU every day for her. Nobody understood what I felt and though I had support, I often felt alone. The worst time was when I would sit in her nursery at night to pump, when everyone else was asleep. I would cry as I pumped, thinking this wasn't right, but always God was there comforting me...that is where I got my strength. I hope this helps someone going through the same thing. My baby girl is doing well and though it seems hard right now, you will make it and on the other end of this you will be stronger for it. God bless!