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SUGAR AND SPICE

Jackie G

May 2013

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MILESTONES

Jun 16, 2010 08:58pm (EST)

So today was our first day of summer vacation and my former 25 weeker is now a kindergarten graduate! I can't believe it. She is growing so fast and while I am excited to watch where life takes her, I want it to slow down.

I remember when she was born and wanting things to happen soooo quickly. I wanted her to get out of the nicu, then I wanted her to start solid foods, then sleep through the night (heck I still hope for that sometimes!), then walking and talking. It just never happened quick enough for me. But Lord knows how hard she had to work at some of that stuff and I was thrilled to watch her accomplish every little thing. But now.... now I want to slow down. I want to take a break and let her be a kid again.

Ok, obviously, I know she's still a kid. I mean, she is only 6. But I feel like there is so much demand put on kids these days. I watch my neighbor rush off to activities for her kids every single night of the week, and I can't help but think "why?". Why do these kids need to play soccer, and basketball, and baseball, and hockey, plus climbing lessons and sunday school. It's just crazy to me. Kids should have time to play tag in the back yard. They should have time to be fascinated by the ants that are making homes in my garden. They should have time to just be *kids*.

I don't know why I am having such a hard time with Kimmie going into first grade in the fall. It's almost as if I believed time would stop after kindergarten. I was soooo excited for kindergarten, she was ready and so was I - but I'm not ready for first grade. Somehow I looked at kindergarten as a stepping stone to school - not as *real* school. First grade, now that is real. Maybe I'm crazy but it's like there is no turning back now - She's growing up and I just don't know how to stop it!

Dang, think I just sprouted another gray hair.

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (4) | Permalink

GOOD FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS?

Jun 15, 2010 11:45am (EST)

Neighbors... love 'em and hate 'em.

Let me start off by saying I do LOVE my neighbors. For the most part they are all really great families and we get along fine. Until recently.

A new family moved in a few months ago and they are.... different. Now usually I can handle different, but I'm getting tired of this. There are two girls, C (10 yrs) and E (8 yrs), who come over to play almost daily. I give them snacks, ice/bandaids, and they come into my house digging through our stuff with no invitation. This I can deal with. What I have a problem with is that after 3 months of nearly constant afternoon play, I still have yet to meet their parents. They let the kids out to go play and haven't spoken with ANY of the other neighbors either. So I am left to care for these girls who don't really add anything to the play dynamics. In fact, they usually come over and start fighting over toys with my kids. Heck, my kids do that fine without you here, so go home! The older one has told Matthew more than once that if he can't play nice with them he has to go inside for a time out.

WTH? He's my kid, I'll punish him as needed. They do not need to stay at my house if they are not having fun. She has also told Matt that *he* gets the last turn with *his* toys because they are the "guests". I had to inform her the other day that when you come over every day and help yourself to my food, you are no longer guests! UGH! But my kids love to play with them so I hate to just tell them not to come back. It's just weird to me that the parents don't even care where their kids are playing - wouldn't you want to at least meet the people your kids were spending hours a day with?

Which then leads into the other neighbor problem, the little girl next door, K (5 yrs), who used to play with my kids all the time, prefers the new girls. If my kids come over to play she tells them to go home.

Twice in the last week, she's told the new girls "Well, C and E, you can come in the house. Kimmie and Matt, I'm not inviting you." She also only allows C & E to touch certain toys of hers. In all fairness, her parents jump right in and make her apologize and let everyone play, but not before my kids are hurt. And I'm probably more hurt than anyone. I just don't know how to explain to my kids that some people are just rude like that. My kids have been told that if people come to our house, either everyone plays or no one does. I won't have a child feeling left out.

And as a kicker, the neighbors who we are really good friends with have been doing similar things for different reasons. This is a family we talk to and play with daily as well. They have some counselors for a summer camp staying with them this summer and their kids are quite possessive of them. Kimmie and Matt went to play with them a couple days ago and were told by the youngest (who ALWAYS wants to play) to go home because they weren't invited over. But "Oh, can we borrow your soccer net?" NO! You can't kick my kids out and then ask to use their toys! Absolutely not.

The icing on that cake was that the kids were playing at their house yesterday and Kimmie got a cut on her finger. (She has some warts on her hand that we've been aggressively treating but having a tough time with. Her skin is dried out and it cracked.) My neighbor, told her to come home to get a bandaid from me.

By the time she walked across the grass there was blood running down her finger. I couldn't believe my neighbor wouldn't even give her a band-aid. Or a tissue, or something! I assume she was scared of the warts and didn't want to touch her but come on! Hand the kids a napkin and then send her home. Sheesh!

Even just to keep blood from dripping on your deck on the way home!

So now, my job this summer is to keep Kimmie and Matt busy so they don't have the option to play with the other kids. I can't have them feel beaten down every day this summer because the neighbors are being mean. It just breaks my heart.

Wow, ok thanks for listening to me rant. I needed to get that off my chest!

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (6) | Permalink

NOT MYSELF

Jun 13, 2010 01:28am (EST)

Have you ever had one of those days where you look back and wonder what crazy monster took over your body? Today was one of those for me and I just can't wait for it to be over.

It started out with everything going wrong... drove 20 minutes to swim lessons only to get there and find I forgot the swim bag with the kids suits. Tried to call my husband to meet me halfway with them and after 14 calls (no joke, I counted) he finally answered and was able to meet me 1 mile from my house.

He did help me strip the kids down in the car and change them so I didn't have to change them in the locker room which was nice...... until we got done with lessons and I realized I left their dry clothes in the car! UGH! Cable guy showed up to fix our cable box - good, right? Yes, except that I feel like an idiot because the problem was that the guys finishing our basement pulled the wire out - so an easy fix that would have saved me 40 minutes on the phone with the cable company.

I spent an hour in bed just trying not to cry today. The rest of the day I spent yelling at the kids (who fought ALL day long), and getting frustrated trying to help my husband work on the basement. I'd like to blame it on PMS but I can't say that's really the issue.

I think I'm just stressed. Stressed with the remodeling we are doing, stressed with pressure from both sets of grandparents about when they can see the kids (and they both want them at the same time), stressed from issues with the neighbors kids being mean to my kids.... I just want a break. I just want a day for me just to sit on the couch, watch horrible reality tv shows and eat cookies.

And of course, right now is when *neither* set of grandparents can take the kids!

At least it's quiet now, maybe I can still find some lousy reality TV and salvage the rest of this day.

And I'll hope that tomorrow is another day.

Oh! Reframe: At least Share didn't crash on me today!

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (5) | Permalink

LIONS AND TIGERS AND SHARE BUGS - OH MY!

Jun 09, 2010 02:26am (EST)

So I typed up a blog post earlier today and then, surprise, surprise Share crashed again!

I know some of us have been going crazy without Share, and I want to apologize for all the issues we've had lately. While I don't know exactly what is causing all of it, please be assured that people behind the scenes (with a huge THANKS to James!) are working to get it cleared up. We know how important Share is to everyone and we don't want you to have to go a day without it. Please bear with us while we get the bugs taken care of.

And I for those of you, like me, who are totally forlorn when Share is down, we need to start a support group. I can't hardly make it through the day without my Share fix! So let me begin..... "Hi, My name is Jackie and I am a Share addict"

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (4) | Permalink

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

May 09, 2010 03:23am (EST)

Soooooo... Tomorrow morning is Mother's Day and my kids have told me that they will be waking up early to give me my presents and then they will go back to sleep. (One present is a surprise and the other involves a 4 year old screaming "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY" at the top of his lungs

Guess which one I won't be thrilled with at 6:30 tomorrow morning? )

Very tough call for me.... I *desperately* want to sleep in tomorrow but I know how excited they are and I don't want to dissapoint them. The problem is that I am a light sleeper so once I'm awake it's very hard for me to go back to sleep. Especially if I am woken by a little boy screaming in my ear.

It's been a long couple of weeks with DH traveling a lot for work and then Kimmie hasn't been feeling great. She's been coughing a lot and not sleeping well. Not to mention she woke up early this morning and I took her downstairs so my hubby could sleep in. So I want my sleep.

Horrible, I know, but I want to be selfish, and I feel like on Mother's Day I should be able to be selfish. I have tried to convince the kids that no matter what time they get up (which will be no later than 8:00 am guaranteed) I will still be in bed. But they have made it their mission to get up early and then go back to sleep. I'm crossing my fingers that my husband hears them first and intervenes.... but I'll keep you posted!

Of course, after all this grumbling I come back to Share and it puts so many things in perspective for me. There are so many of you who would like nothing better than to be woken up by your child, and here I am grumbling about it.

Being a mom is tough, no doubt about it. But being a mom to an angel has to be the toughest job around. I can't even imagine it. Heck, I don't want to imagine it. I don't want there to be moms who are missing their babies. I don't want there to be moms with empty arms. I want every mom to be able to hug their child before bed and to whisper in their ears. And I want *every* mom to know that they are loved on Mother's Day, because you are. Not only by your angels, your children, and your families, but by me as well. You are all an inspiration and I am honored to know you.

I hope that, while I am rolling over, cursing under my breath, and trying to fall back asleep tomorrow morning, some of you are being woken up by a bright ray of sunshine through your window that just screams "HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, MOM!"

Hugs to you all! -Jackie

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (2) | Permalink

I KNOW, I KNOW... IT'S ABOUT TIME

May 07, 2010 05:48pm (EST)

OK, so this is kind of pathetic... I've been a Share member for over 5 years and I am just NOW making a blog. (Sheesh - welcome to the 21st century, huh?

)

I guess I've been holding off because, to be honest, I am pretty intimidated by the rest of you. You are all so eloquent and have such thoughtful and amazing things to say. Not sure I'll be able to keep up with the rest of you, but I'll try.

Have you heard of the Infinite Monkey Theorem? You know, the one where you give a million monkeys a typewriter and at some point they will eventually type the entire works of Shakespere? I'm pretty sure if you gave 10 monkeys a computer they would write a better blog then me in less than a week.

So don't expect too much, you might be disappointed.

****************************************

Anyway, I guess the best way to kick this thing off is to let those of you who don't know me already, find out a little more about me.

I came to Share right before my daughter, Kimberly, turned 1. She has made such an impact in my life and, although I never would have wanted the whole preemie experience, at this point, I can't imagine my life without it. Kimmie was born at 25 weeks and weighed 1 lb 15 oz. The drs still aren't sure what happened because by the time I got to the hospital I was already dilated and contracting so they can't tell me which happened first. (Which that leads us into that whole "chicken vs egg" argument.) I was out of town visiting my parents for Christmas when she was born so we were stuck 2 hours from home for the first 6 weeks of her life. Eventually she was moved to a hospital closer to our house for 7 more weeks. Like many preemies Kimmie battled anemia, bradys, and ROP before she finally got to come home. Since then she's been great. Very few healthy issues other than occasional wheezing when she catches a cold. And, man, is she a sweet little girl!

She is so nice and kind to everyone and is very smart. She's the teacher's pet in Kindergarten and just loves school. She's my "Sugar". She can throw one heck of a tantrum, but I try to remember it's that will power that got her where she is today.

Then two years later, Matthew came along. He was my "healing" baby. The one that was supposed to wipe away all the things that happened with Kimberly. And he kind of did. The pregnancy was actually very easy. I was given a cerclage and 17P shots to combat the IC or PTL issues they believed I had. I also had Fetal Fibronectin testing done every two weeks and without it I think I might have wound up in a padded room somewhere. While the pregnancy itself was easy, the stress was not. I remember being in constant fear that something was wrong and just wishing there was a way to be able to put a window in my uterus and see what was going on in there. Luckily things continued to go well and at 38.5 weeks I was induced and Matthew arrived at 7 lbs 13.5 oz, healthy, and full term. He's 4 now and although I consider him my "healing baby", he is far harder to deal with now than Kimmie ever was. Geez, this kid is stubborn! And unfortunately, I know right where he gets it from... me.

He's either the sweetest, cuddliest kid, giving me lots of kisses and telling me "Mommy, you're the best!" or he's being wrestled in a corner for a time out (yep, I said "wrestled", he won't do it on his own) screaming "You're the worst Mommy in the World!" Hence, he's my "Spicey" kid. I just hope I'm paying the piper now and things will get better when he gets older. Of course, by then Kimmie will be a teenager and it will be an entirely different battle.

Here's a picture of me with the kiddos on a pirate ship adventure we did in Florida. Not sure what the pirate's name was but it should have been "Mud" after he handed my kid a pistol to hold for the picture!

IMG_4204

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (5) | Permalink

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