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ISABELLA GIANNA
Donnavie |
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IT'S ALMOST TIME
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Nov 13, 2008 07:45pm (EST)
Today I'm 37 wks and 4 days pregnant!!!!!!!!!!! It has been one wild ride. This is my first week being off bedrest and it feels great! After 17 weeks of bedrest I'm finally at home and able to do things that "normal" pregnant women do. It's just so surreal that Sebastian is still in my belly and thriving. I remember going into the hospital at 20 wks and thinking I'll be happy if he just gets to 24 wks now here I am at 37 wks.
So I'm here waiting for my precious boy to come and I'm spending time with Bella as much as possible. My ob is planning on inducing me this Tuesday Nov. 18th. Can you believe that, induction for someone like me!?!? I'll be officially 38 wks 2 days pregnant and the reason for induction is because of my Platapoid Pelvis. Apparently my pelvis is shaped like a platupus and Sebastian is getting big so my chances for a vaginal birth decline with each week/day that I stay pregnant. I've never heard this before but that is her main concern for me and she knows I really want to have a vaginal birth. She said she is confident that Sebastian's lungs will be developed and that if she didn't think I'd be able to deliver vaginally then she'd not do induction at all. She usually does induction later and I'm confident in her and her medical advice.
Unless I deliver before then Tuesday Sebsastian will be here. I'm so excited I can barely contain myself. I'm frantically trying to get everything ready for him and for Bella. I will miss being a family of 3 but I will be overjoyed to have Sebastian finally here with us. I will post pics of my belly so everyone can see how big I am.
Thank you everyone, especially Jenn who has talked to me everyday throughout my pregnancy scares and hospital bedrest. Thanks to all my Share friends for the support and encouragement when I needed it most.
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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (11) | Permalink
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OH BABY! I'M 34 WEEKS!!
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Oct 19, 2008 02:39pm (EST)
This weekend Richard and my mom decided to hold a baby shower here in my hospital room. I turned 34 weeks today and my next BIG GOAL is 36 wks. I hope I make it.
It was such a wonderful shower. There were only about 8-9 people but it was just perfect. The best part was that I am still pregnant, unlike last time I had Bella already. Richard really went all out. He really is such a great husband! He lined my counters in blue and bought me a blue "mommy" corsage to wear. He even bought a baby boy flower arrangement for my room. He painted my toenails so I wouldn't have to wear socks with my new dress. My mom bought me a dress to wear just for the shower and I loved it. It was the first time I got to wear "real" clothes instead of nightgown. She also got me some pretty new slippers since I'm now able to walk to the bathroom and take a 5 min. shower.
We played only 2 games: guess the size of my belly (they saw it when I got up to go to the bathroom) and guess my weight. It was funny  and I had a blast because I've never been this big or pregnant before. I'm proud of my big belly  . My sister decorated my room with baby stuff on the walls and the armoire. She even put a baby shower sign outside my door. One of my nurses came by and gave me a gift for Sebastian too. My dr. wrote in my chart that I was allowed to sit up during the shower so people didn't have to see me just laying down.
The food was great and the desserts even better. I got lots of cute baby clothes for Sebastian. I can't wait to see him in them! I had a wonderful day and I got to visit and talk with everybody. By then end I had to lay down because I was soooooo tired and my body is just not used to all that "action".
Now the plan is I'm going to have another u/s either Monday or Tuesday and the peri is going to do it. He's going to measure my cervix and fluid and consult with my ob. If everything looks ok and I have some length in my cervix I can go home. If not or if I'm dialated 3-4 I have to stay. I'm hoping everything looks good, I miss Bella so much and my emotions are getting crazy. I really want to be home before Halloween so I can see Bella in her costume and spend some time with her before Sebastian comes.
Let's hope for 2 more weeks of pregnancy and getting to go home.
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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (2) | Permalink
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SCARED
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Sep 22, 2008 08:50pm (EST)
I'm 30 weeks and still pregnant!! I've offically never been pregnant this long.
While this is such a great goal to reach I'm suddenly feeling scared and apprehensive. My dr. said our new goal is 32 weeks. Once I reach 32 she is going to take me out of trendelenberg and sit me up. I will get to eat sitting up, something I haven't done since before July 17th. I may also get bathroom privledges which is exciting. They will try and stop labor if I it starts but they are comfortable with letting me have Sebastian at that time.
I am no where near ready to have this baby. I would love to make it as far as possible. If that means being on bedrest and not getting up for the bathroom I'm willing to do it. I'm even willing to go on Mag  if that will buy me a few days or even a week. I want Sebastian to be in the NICU for the shortest stay possible. I would love to be able to bring him home but I think I may be over reaching just a bit  .
I'm having anxiety about sitting up. I don't want to go into labor and I'm so scared that if he comes this early something will still be wrong with him. I've heard that boys don't do as well as girls so I'm worried even though Bella was 29 weeks and I'm further along now. I guess I keep remembering all those days in the NICU with her and I'm so fearful that I will still spend so much time there.
I'm afraid of going home which is such an oxymoron because I've longed to be home with Bella for so long. What if I've forgotten how to be a mommy? What if I don't even know how to take care of my own child? I might not even be able to walk that great and what if Bella wants me to play and run like we used to? How will I explain to her that she has to wait some more for me to get better?? How am I going to deal with all this and worry about Sebastian being in the hospital, or even when he comes home? What will life be like??
All these unanswered questions are bombarding my mind and terrifying me. I feel like such a bad mommy already. Not to mention that we still need so much stuff for Sebastian and I feel like time is running out. I'm totally stressed when I should be happy that I've been here so long and the baby is doing well. I should be happy that Bella has adjusted so well and can function without me (her security blanket). She's so close to my parents and Richard, What if she doesn't want me?
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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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"HOME SWEET HOME"
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Sep 14, 2008 11:47am (EST)
Today I'm 29 weeks and I'm back in Corpus!! I couldn't be happier that I'm back at my second home and still be pregnant.
Things were crazy for a couple of days and it was so stressful for me. I had to leave Isabella here in Corpus while they transported me to San Antonio. I cried hard and my heart hurt so bad I couldn't talk. I haven't cried like this since I was first admitted. I couldn't imagine leaving Bella to be in another city. I see her at least once a day everyday and this is the highlight of my day and seeing her makes me so happy. It just didn't seem fair to me or her. Being taken away from her not once but twice is something I was having a hard time handling.
For most of this pregnancy I've had to deal with things alone. I'm perfectly ok with this because my main concern is with Isabella and her well being. I'm alone most of the time at the hospital because everyone is helping Bella and also living their lives. This is ok for me because I do fine and keep myself busy. I'll do anything for my Bella and Sebastian. But this time I was just tired of doing things by myself. I had no one to ride in the ambulance with me. I was all alone. There were 5 bedrest girls here that were being evacuated and I was the only one without some one to ride with. I made myself strong and said I could do this and just took deep breaths whenever I would feel scared.
Then we got to San Antonio and here I was with new nurses and new dr's and feeling overwhelmed by being in the same hospital Bella was delivered at and had her NICU stay. Then on top of things I find out that the Dr. that is taking care of us is the same who delivered Bella. Could things being any weirder??
Richard was able to get off work early on Thursday and come and be with me but the "damage" was already done. I was in full stress out mode. Things were being changed with my care and the dr. from San Antonio seemed to want to do what he wanted.
First he asked me if I was ready to get up and walk. Are you kidding me?!?! I haven't been up in 8 plus weeks, my legs wouldn't work if I tried to walk. Plus I'm under STRICT ORDERS under no circumstances with a 0 cervix was I going to be able to walk. I told the dr. no I was not ready to walk. He wanted to do a cervical exam and I promptly said no. He said he saw on my chart that I hadn't had one and I proceeded to tell him that my dr. didn't want any "poking" around down there because she didn't want anything to jump start labor and that was the reason for no exams except for u/s. So then he said he was going to give me an FFN test and left.
The nurse assured me that there would be no disruption to my cervix and that she was just going to swab down there and not put anything in (sorry if it's tmi ). So I was ok with the test but then she comes in with the charge nurse and she's holding a speculum and I immediately begin to panic. I promptly tell her that nothing is supposed to be put in me and she says "Well the dr. ordered this test and you have to have it." Then the results came back positive and the nurse who was taking care of me said that it just meant that I wasn't going to be able to get up. Well DUH!! They did that stupid test for nothing! This test didn't change anything, my care was remaining the same and I was still going to take the same meds so what was the point?? I had already talked to my dr. in corpus who thought that this test was really pointless in my case because it would likely be positive since my cervix is nothing and I'm at increased risk for preterm labor.
Then I had a sono and my cervix measured 3.3 cm. Really, how could this be when I had a 0 not too long ago??? I was really miserable at this hospital and feeling like things were going in the wrong direction. I felt like the quality of care was very different. I spent the rest of the day being worried that I would go into labor because they had poked around down there.
To my delight nothing happened and my parents brought Isabella up to S.A. to be with me. I was so happy to see her I almost started to cry.
Luckily by Saturday they decided to send us back because it was safe and Corpus didn't get any of the hurricane. I'm so happy be back in my city, hospital, with my dr's and nurses and with my family. I'm still pregnant and that's the most important thing.
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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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EVACUATION
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Sep 10, 2008 10:20am (EST)
Hurricane Ike is supposed to come this way or very near us and in preparations for that the hospital is evacuating high risk patients and that includes me. Me and 3 other antepartums along with all the NICU babies are going to San Antonio which is 2 hrs away. We will be staying there until it's safe to go back home.
As some of you may know Isabella was born in San Antonio and Santa Rosa Hospital is where her NICU home was. I'm very nervous and scared. I was given a decision to make as to whether to stay here or go. My options were: If I stayed here I would stay and if the hospital closed they would move me to a hospital across town to a non flood zone. There I would stay until my hospital opened back up. If anything happened (like labor) then Sebastian would be transported to the children's hospital here when he was born. This would happen no matter what conditions because he would need to be somewhere where they can care for him properly. Option 2 was to go to San Antonio and stay in Santa Rosa until the hurrican passed and there they have a level 3 NICU.
I have no time to type. I'm leaving soon and I will not have my laptop. Pray for me and Sebastian that we arrive safe to San Antonio and I come back home preggos.
Donnavie
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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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HORMONAL
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Sep 07, 2008 08:55pm (EST)
Today I'm 28 weeks and I feel great!
Richard came by himself and we got to actually spend time together. We talked and had lunch. I miss him so much and I was sad to see him go even though he was going to come back later with Bella.
The past few days have been hard for me emotionally. I really miss Bella and Richard. For the first time in my long stay I cried. I cried for Bella and all the times that I'm missing. I cried for my husband and our new extended "vacation" from each other. I cried for wanting to be home with my family when I know my place is here at the hospital "growing" Sebastian. I'm so lonely sometimes it hurts. I worry all the time about what's to be and the what ifs. I worry about Sebastian all the time and I'm so mad at my body for doing this. I'm afraid to go into labor even though I'm much further along now and he has a larger chance of survival.
I don't want to be in the NICU again. I don't want to see my child all plugged up to monitors and being picked and prodded. I don't want to worry so much about things and I just want to be normal.
I feel like it's so unfair of me to be complaining about my situation when many of you have lost your darling angels. It's just that these days that I feel so sad and lonely are so few and when I do have one of these sad days it really hits me.
On Tuesday I have to take a 3 hr. glucose test because my sugars tested high again. Of course this sent me into a mini depression because I only want positive news.
Today I woke up feeling on top of the world. Out of my bleak mood and positive that everything will be ok with Sebastian. I think being pregnant makes you so hormonal. How can one day a person be so sad and the next day wake up with a smile and full of optimism??!!
Sorry for my weird blog but I really needed to get these feelings out and I feel much better now.
Please continue to pray for more weeks of me being preggos and for my little Sebastian. Also please pray for Jenn, a fellow Share member and good friend of mine who's been here checking on me and keeping me sane. Her Bella is having major health issues with her heart (she's a transplant reciepient).
Donnavie
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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (11) | Permalink
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27 WEEKS!!!!!
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Sep 01, 2008 09:01pm (EST)
I'm glad to write that I'm 27 weeks!!!! I can't believe that I'm still here and pregnant. 7 whole weeks and I feel like I can go more.
This blog was supposed to be about Bella and since I'm in this position I really can't tell you much since she visits only once a day. She really has grown so much and is very much a little person. Today she told me she liked her grandpa "alot" and that she liked her grandma too, she loves her. This came out of no where, she must have been thinking of them.
My baby niece came with my sis this weekend and I finally got to see her for the first time. She's just 8 weeks and I've been here for 7. I was so excited to finally meet her. Bella loved her and was so good to her I was told. She also was very interested in breastfeeding and would say the baby was eating egg when she was nursing.
All my sisters were in town and I was so happy to see them and my nieces (my 8 wk niece and my 21 yr. old niece). I have 3 sisters but only 1 lives in town. They all came to my rm and we played scrabble and laughed and talked. I really miss my family and all the get togethers. My parents cooked bbq and invited the whole family over: aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. and I was a little lonely and sad that I couldn't be there. Then I was missing Bella so much because I knew she was having so much fun and I wasn't there to see it.
Over all my spirits are high and I feel good. I'm keeping myself busy with my new hobby crocheting. I'm making a baby blanket for Sebastian so I'm not on the laptop as much as before.
Thank you to everybody who has kept me and Sebastian in your prayers. Thank you for the encouragement and the support. I don't know where I'd be without all my Share friends.
Donnavie
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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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ROUGH DAYS
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Aug 28, 2008 06:46pm (EST)
I had a rough couple of days and I was in the funkiest of moods so I didn't get on Share because I didn't want to get anyone down. I feel like I always complain and I don't want to be known as the "whiner" of Share.
I had some breakthrough contracts. and I had to get a shot of brethine (I'm on procardia every 4 hrs.) and I have no cervix left so I was super scared. This was Tuesday and Richard had to go out of town for work on Wednesday and had no way to come to the hospital if I went into labor. Things finally calmed down but the next day my sugars were high (did the diabetes test) and on top of that I was told the Sebastian wasn't practicing breathing (had a BPP test). I've had enough bad news so I was pretty sad.
Today I'm better because they now said my sugars are fine and on the u/s today he was practicing breathing. He weighs 2 lbs. 6 oz and he's no longer breach!! This is good because I am terrified of having a c-section and an epidural. It kind of freaked me out also because I'm thinking maybe he's getting ready but I'll try not to think about that. I have NO bulging membranes and I feel good. So finally some good news and finally I can stop stressing just a little bit!
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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (9) | Permalink
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26 WKS!!!!!
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Aug 25, 2008 10:03am (EST)
I'm 26 weeks finally and I felt like I would never get here. It's been almost 6 weeks that I've been in the hospital. I really never thought that I would make it this far. It's been so hard and I miss Bella so much that my heart and chest actually hurt. She's doing well thanks to my mom and dad and of course Richard.
I have an u/s every Thursday and this past one was a bit of a let down. My cervix has been measuring 1.1 cm for the past 4 and 1/2 weeks which is small but at least there was no change. Thursday my u/s showed that I have no cervix left, I'm all thinned out. Obviously I was a little depressed because now it's just a waiting game. Luckily I'm not having contractions and my ob said that if I started contracting/laboring that she'd do everything possible to stop it or at least hold it off as much as possible.
I've bee thinking of everything that I'm going through in here. I feel so guilty about leaving Isabella. I remember when she came home from the NICU that I told myself I was never going to leave her alone, that I would never (at least until she got older) be a night without her again. Now it seems like I've broke my promise but I know it's for the best. Sometimes I get these thoughts where I think well if i go into labor then at least I get to go home and be with Isabella. Then I realize the implications of my thoughts and I feel so guilty. My heart feels like it's getting tugged in 2 different directions.
Sometimes I feel like it's all a dream. I would never have pictured that i would ever be in the hospital not even when I'm old. I always thought I'd be able to care for myself and now I have total strangers and Richard doing everything for me. I have no freedoms. I can't get up EVER, not until the baby is born. That means more days, possibly weeks of: bed baths and using a bed pan (yuck  ), being in trendelenberg (laying down with my bed at 45 degree angle so that Sebastian stays up high in my belly) and eating laying down. It sucks but I know that all this is worth it. Sebastian is worth all this sacrifice and more.
So although I have my days and it's hard being here I'm positive and optimistic that I can make it further. I want to be here for a long time. My new goal is 27 weeks and the big goal is 28 weeks. I'm taking it 1 day at a time and I'm keeping myself busy with Share, reading, and teaching myself to crochet. It may not seem like it but I'm happy. I'm so happy to have made it this far and to feel my little boy moving in my Belly. I'm so happy to see him every thursday, it gives me more motivation and hope.
So please keep me and Sebastian in your thoughts and prayers. He's growing strong and I'm growing too!
Donnavie
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Posted by Donnavie | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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and that my legs look like sticks. I already knew that, Richard told me the same thing weeks ago 
