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ANSLEYS TE FISTULA STORY
vicki stewart |
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A PLAYDATE, A DOCTOR VISIT, AND THE GREEN EYED MONSTER
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Aug 13, 2009 08:37pm (EST)
A lot has happened this week. Ansley went to the kidney doctor on Monday for her routine checkup (every 3 months). It seems like these visits get harder each time. The urine collection is easy enough, it's just the blood draw that's tough. I even got our favorite nurse and it took 2 tries trying to get bood. In the end, she didn't get much, but she said that she HOPED that she had enough because she was not going to stick her again. It took me and my husband to hold her down for the blood draw. I can not even express to you how much I hate holding my daughter down and the guilt and hurt that I feel when she looks at me like I should be helping her. It's just a horrible feeling.
Ansley had her first playdate with 6 other children yesterday. She didn't do too bad considering how badly she used to suffer from stranger anxiety. She was the smallest one there and the least advanced, so she could not keep up with the other kids. I think she wanted to play with them because she kept looking at them and trying to keep up but they were just too fast for her. She got knocked over a few times since she is so new to walking, but she didn't cry. She got right back up and tried again. Is it Ok to say that it bugged me? Not the knocking her down part, that was an accident, just the fact that she looked like she wanted to play with them so bad but they were just leaving her behind. I so want her to be an outgoing, friendly person and to be treated like any other kid. I have always been a shy person, and it has not gotten me anywhere. I don't want her to end up being shy.
On to the green eyed monster in my title...I try not to blog about my mom alot. This blog is not for that, it is for Ansley. However tonight I am feeling so sad, so I hope that ya'll can overlook me using this site for my feelings as well. The feelings that I am about to share with you are not feelings that I am proud of...I'm jealous of grandparents. I'm jealous of freinds of mine who have children with their grandparents. I wanted Ansley to have my parents in her life so bad, they were good people. Why did the Lord have to take them away? I just don't understand it sometimes. An older friend of mine is about the become a grandmother for the first time..yes, I'm happy for her because she is so excited, at the same time, it makes my heart ache for all that my parents are missing out on.. Then today, I got a friend request on Facebook from a couple that my mom was friends with and I have known since childhood. They had so many pictures of their gandchildren posted. It just hurts to even look at those photos. To know that they are in my moms age group and still here to enjoy their grandchildren and play a part in their lives, but my mom isn't. I think that part of the reason that my mom's death has been so difficult is because she wasn't ready to go. She wanted to be here for Ansley. She allowed them to preform brain surgery on her to try to help her. She woudn't have even allowed that to happen if she didn't want to be here. The surgery that was supposed to help her ended her life. That is almost impossible to live with....
So sorry for my downer blog, tonight it couldn't be helped.
Vicki
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Posted by vicki stewart | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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A LITTLE GIRL WITH A BIG ATTITUDE
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Jul 21, 2009 10:22pm (EST)
Well my sweet baby has turned into a monster. Seriously. What happened? Is she starting the terrible 2's early or what!? She has become quite the drama queen, pitching fits anytime she dosen't get what she wants. Also, we can tell her no time and again and she goes right back to doing what she KNOWS she is not supposed to. I'm begging you SHARE friends, tell me how you disciplined your kids at 17 months old. Nothing seems to be working!
On a lighter note, we went to another of my husbands family gatherings over the weekend and Ansley did great. She let her grandparents hold her and she laughed and giggled with them. It made me so happy to see her interacting with other people since we have been fighting with stranger anxiety for SOOOOO long. It really made me want to move closer to her grandparents so she can see them more often. (They live about 1.5 hours away so we only see them once a month) It really sucks that she dosen't get more time with them.
Also, my husbands cousin was there with her 2 children, ages 3 and 18 months. Her 18 month was not only walking, but running, climbing stairs, and feeding herself. And feeding herself corn on the cob and a chicken leg. Wow. I enjoy seeing them, but I can't help but make comparisons to Ansley. If I handed Ansley a chicken leg or corn on the cob she would give the dog a concussion as she threw it across the kitchen. It makes me wonder where she COULD be if she had not had so many problems.
As usual, I'm including a few pictures for your viewing pleasure  The first one in her jumper, she looks terrifed but that is really her excited face. The second one, she loved her Elmo hat so much she didn't want to take it off, even for her bath. Crazy kid!
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DSC04491
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Posted by vicki stewart | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS
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Jun 23, 2009 09:12pm (EST)
Boy have we had a rough few days! First our air conditioning went out...we live in the deep south. We can not live without a.c.! We got that fixed after paying out the wazoo for an after hours call! Then on Saturday we were going to my husbands sisters 11th birthday party and our car breaks down on the interstate. Yep, right in the middle of traffic going 70 mph on I-20. Scared us to death, but thankfully my husband was able to coast over to the shoulder of the road without getting hit. My car just died and it's only 3 years old! Anyway, so we called his dad to come get us and we sat on the side of the interstate for about 45 minutes waiting on him. (His family lives about 1.5 hours away from us). Did I mention that we live in the freakin south...it was 103 degrees that day. I'm just thankful that we were ok though. It does seem as though when one thing breaks, something else is sure to follow! My truck is still sittin at the Chevy dealership waaayyy on up the interstate. Now we just have to find time to go get it. Ha, wouldn't it be funny if they towed it for sitting in their parking lot too long...Ok, not really
Hope everyone else is having better luck
xoxo
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Posted by vicki stewart | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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PICTURES TAKE 3
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Jun 16, 2009 08:02pm (EST)
We FINALLY got some more professional pictures of Ansley taken! Sorry to post so many (see next 2 entries), but I can not pick a favorite! I'm so thrilled to get some beautiful pictures of my little girl. She actually took to the photrographer very well. She goes in tomorrow for her NICU follow up. I will let ya'll know how it goes. Hopefully it will be her last? I don't really see the purpose of these visits. She sees her peditrican regularly. She is doing very well. She is smart as a whip! A couple of weeks ago my husband and I were folding her laundry and she was "helping" my husband stack her bibs. So tonight I was folding her laundry once again and I looked over at her and she had 13 bibs stacked in a heap!! She had only watched and helped my hubby with the bibs once and she remembered that they go together! Ok, it may not sound like much, but I was amazed. She is only 15 months old and already sorting laundry! ha ha
The only real issue we have is we are working very hard on getting her to eat regular table food instead of baby food. I thought she would prefer the taste, but NOOOO! We fuss and fight with each other constantly because she just does not like to eat. Well, I take that back, she likes bread and chocolate, but that's about it. She is picky!
I think about my SHARE friends often...I hope you are all doing OK. Lauren, if you read this, I'm thinking about you always and especailly this month.
xoxo
Vicki
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Posted by vicki stewart | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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