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EMERY MAE DAY BY DAY
Paulamaurine |
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THE LONE SHOPPING TRIPS.
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May 19, 2009 10:14pm (EST)
was just thinking about this the other day, I was thinking about the days that emery was in the nicu, although that was a hard time sometimes i stop to think about it to put myself in check and remind myself to be thankful for the things i have in life. So anyways i was thinking about the one thing that bothered my most about her being in the NICU. When i was pregnant people could see i was pregnant they could see i was about to have a baby and they would smile, i always thought when i had my baby and took her out i would get the same reactions. Then i found myself running errands while emery was in the nicu, no tummy, no baby.. no evidence that i was a mother besides my shopping cart full of preemie onsies, baby girl colored blankets.. im sure people thought i was buying as a gift. I remember trying to bring up how much i missed her while out shopping in hopes that someone may hear and realize i wasnt childless. I was jealous when i saw new moms out with there babies or even pregnant women. I remember being in walmart in tears because it wasnt fair that other women could have their babies and leave the hospital with them, i even remember saying they are buying newborn diapers i will never get to do that illl have to skip straight to size 1.. it was stupid and petty of me to be this upset over such a dumb thing but i was. I wanted to be a mother so so BADLY, and now i was but no one knew. I remember walking back into my math class on campus 2 days after i had the baby, i didnt talk to realy anyone in this class but they all saw me with a belly just a few days before and now, no belly. NOT ONE PERSON SAID A THING TO ME. Im not sure why they all knew i wasnt due until after the semester. But no one said a word. This made me even more upset. They just looked at me and when i would notice they would give me that apethetic smile.. but they had no idea what happend. I wanted to scream
" I AM A NEW MOM MY DAUGHTER IS TINY AND BEAUTIFUL!! " The reason i bring this up is because you never know what someone is going through and sometimes it is worse to not ask at all. Our nicu reunion is next month and im very excited to see everyone. I am excited to hear everyones stories. I am excited to show off my beautiful, happy, miracle baby girl. I hope these memories never fade..
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Posted by Paulamaurine | Comments: (2) | Permalink
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LIFE IS CRAZY, BUT I LOVE IT.
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May 18, 2009 02:16pm (EST)
So , the 6 month stranger anxiety has made its self known. Yay (not the sarcasm) lol Emery has always been very cool with other people holding her loving on her she loves the attention, on friday that at home nurse told me that i should expect her to start having stranger anxiety, i was like NO NO WAY, SHE IS GREAT WITH OTHER PEOPLE, she even said, trust me it will come out of no where. So 10 min after she left i took emery with me to check our mailbox, we stopped in to our rental office to say hi to the ladies are usual thing, and i handed her off to beatrice, and Emery started screaming, i was like WHAT!!!!!!!! (of course she has to prove me wrong haha) As soon as she handed her back to me she stopped i was seriously stunned lol. Then yesterday at church my nursery number came up so i had to go down their and pick her up halfway through the sermon because she was crying as soon as i picked her up she was laughing and smiling little faker lol.
So im sure this has happend to other moms but i feel so stupid for doing this, So being busy and well i dunno i dont really have an excuse for my ignorance, i realized Emery's zantac was getting low and that i needed to call her dr to put in a nother prescription for her for it. Well um, i didnt, until today and we have been out for like 2 days. I feel horrible. So now i have to wait for her dr to call me back and then for the naval pharmacy to fill it which who knows how long that will take and then i have to drive 30 minutes to go pick it up..urgh ignorance on my part lol.
So if you know me you know i looooove taking pictures of emery , my hubby got me an awesome kodak touch screen 10mp camera for xmas. I take pictures everyday of her and out of nowhere sat i turn it on and it will not focus you can hear it trying to focus but it wont i was SOOO MAD!! We suck at keeping receipts so i didnt have it anymore and that is the only way kodak would send us another one so i went straight to the source walmart where we bought it. They were so awesome they let me exchange it but they were all out of the model i bought, so i ended up exchanging it for another one that was the same price, another kodak but its EVEN BETTER 12mp HELL YEA! i was pretty pumped that they let us do that , they were kinda leary since we bought it almost 6 months ago but after they looked at it and realized there wasnt a scratch or even a little knick on it they were cool. (soo sooo awesome)
Here are some pix i took with my new camera today still learning all of its cool features..
Here you go, better post to come later!
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Posted by Paulamaurine | Comments: (0) | Permalink
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MILESTONES.
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May 14, 2009 03:29pm (EST)
Today our at home nurse came to visit, we have a new one, and she is awesome!!! She stayed for 2 hours, she wanted to hear all about emery, we talked about everything she could and couldnt do and put her on a chart and she is right on track with a fullterm 6 monther!!! I was so excited to hear that, she is a little behind on her fine motor skills like picking stuff up, reaching for stuff but still at 6 month level. Awesome since she is technically only 4 months and 4 days old.. even though she is 6 months and 14 days lol.. She is 14 lbs 9 1/2 oz and 25 1/2 inches. The hubby came home for lunch when the nurse was here and the nurse was so surprised by how great they interact together, j walked right over to emery and start playing with her like he always does. When he left she was like "wow you dont see many dads, that play with their baby espeically when they are so young" She commented on how awesome we were doing , and how surprised she was that i have my head on straight and how mature i was. It was a refreshing conversation for sure. i still can not comment on the issue i was refering to in the post before this, but i promise i will soon, it isnt about us or anything so dont worry. I am taking tae kwon doe this summer im so pumped i took yoga this last semester and just finished that this week it was a blast. So im very excited to do tae kown doe, you lose weight so hey why not.. ah thats my cue emery is fussing time for some pureed peaches lol im off,
bye guys!
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Posted by Paulamaurine | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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HAPPY 6 MONTHS
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Apr 30, 2009 02:53pm (EST)
Today is one hell of a happy day, Today Emery turned 6 months old, Something we were unsure would even come her first few days in the NICU. I look at her on a daily basis and i thank god, but today i reflect, not just on her story but also on me and my husbands story. I remember her first ultrasound, her heartbeat, the first time i felt her kick, or have hiccups inside me, i remember feeling her kick me when she didnt like the way i was laying or feeling her move more when i ate certain foods.. I remember sitting on the couch while j told stories to her, about how we met, and how much we loved her. All i wanted was for her to be healthy and happy, i never thought i would have her 10 weeks early. I remember getting jealous when i heard of my friends who had healthy full term babies. I remember my husbands reaction when he found out we were having the baby that day, all he could say was "She will be fine hunny she is a perfect mix of you and me, she is stubborn like her mommy, she is a fighter like her daddy, and you better believe, that a little girl with those qualities isnt gonna give up" When she was born she never needed oxygen, it ASTONISHED the doctors, they even did 3 different tests to see if maybe they were wrong about her gestation but she was only 29 weeks 5 days. Now she is 6 months old, and has only had one brief hospital stay since her 7 week nicu stay. I look at her and i see more wisdom in her then i do in some adults, she can read my face when im upset she smiles and coos, when im tired she will take a nap so that i can, she knows me so well, when im depressed and i pick her up she will hug me tight and rest her head on my shoulder, something she rarely does since she found out how to lift her head up and look all around . Today i thank god, my family, my friends, everyone in this community, For being there for us, for helping us in our hard times and being there for the great ones as well. We our trully blessed to have all of you in our lives.
Happy 6 months LiL miss emery, you have touched so many peoples hearts, you are our little miracle. We love you!
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Posted by Paulamaurine | Comments: (1) | Permalink
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WE WALK
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Apr 25, 2009 05:58pm (EST)
we had our march of dimes walk today here in san diego, it was beautiful out. It was incredible to see so many people turn out.
I saw alot of peoples tribute t shirts for maddie, It made me tear up, such an inspiration who has touched the hearts of so many people all over the country. Her parents have so much strength, i almost wish i would have walked in LA just to hear her mothers beautiful speach, she posted it in her blog , if you would like to read it..
www.remembermaddie.com
The walk was wonderful, and of course miss emery turned on her charm for everyone and anyone, we got a special tu tu and onsie made for her and she looked way cute.
The walk was amazing and i cant wait to do it again next year , although i was kinda bummed that i didnt get a t-shirt because we were 30 dollars shy of 250 ... 
I hope you all had fun at your walks to, next year i'll be sure to make my own cool team tshirt!
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Posted by Paulamaurine | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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THANKS DOC!
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Apr 24, 2009 10:34am (EST)
Yesterday Emery had her 6 month check up, j and i were starting to become more and more concerened with Emery's gas problem lately, Emery always has gas , yes i know all babies do but hers is horrible, she will scream from it and oh i just feel so bad, we have to give her gas drops after every bottle, and if we didnt give those it would be SOOO much worse. She always spits up too, after every bottle, we have changed her formula numerous times, we cant give her the special preemie formula because its way to hard on her tummy. She is on gasease formula and it helps but its still bad...
Anyways we brought the gas up to Dr. Piccone the best doctor ever, and he was a little concerened that at 6 months she still had bad gas, but then when we brought up the spitting up he decided that she needs to try zantac. yes the heartburn medicine.. In the NICU they thought she may have GERD, its gastro reflux disease, now im pretty sure she does. Dr. piccone told us it may be up to a week before we saw a difference but no joke after the first dose i noticed a difference it was the very first time i had fed her and she didnt spit up.. then the gas she had was super minimal. When i gave her the 2nd dose same thing NO SPIT UP.. I WAS SOO EXCITED and i still am. I cant explain how good it feels to know she isnt in agony and to not have to worry about her spitting up after each feeding. I am so glad that we have such a great doctor, considering we have military insurance and we have to be seen at the naval hospital its rare to get a really awesome doctor. We met him when Emery had to go back to the hospital in january when they thought she had RSV, turned out to be bronchiolitis, Dr. Piccone is the High risk infant pediatrician, until then she had a different doctor that i didnt like because he wasnt the one the nicu wanted us to have. So after that, i started making her appts with him, he is so awesome he remembers her name and he is very sweet and he isnt one of those doctors that just comes in does the check up then RUSHES out of the room, which i love because i cant stand doctors like that. He sits down with us shows us her percentiles for full term babies her age and then preemies her age and so on.. Im just happy , that he decided to try this medicine..
anyways, then while we were waiting in the pharmacy for her medicine, our pharmacy is in the hospital, it often reminds me of a meat counter you take a ticket and then you sit there and wait for your number its like bingo.. they have 12 counters all calling different numbers.. Your like YES MY TICKET IS UP!!!!! so iin the pharmacy another woman and her husband sit next to us with their baby who is the same size as emery. She leans over looks at emery asleep in her car seat and says aw shes 4 months right.. I say no, shes 6 mo her eyes looked like they were going to bulge out of her head, which made me laugh.. Wow she is, um, just smaller then my son Then i say ya well she is preemie so yep she is a bit smaller! oohh.. Then our number was called and she didnt have time to sprout into her 21 questions that im absolutely sure she had.. lol i dont mind answering peoples questions, but sometimes i just dont want to, espeically when my anxiety is kicking in , in a pharmacy filled with 60 people all within ear shot from you telling your story.. no thanks not interested..
Anyways i will leave you with a few pictures, from the beach the other day , Emery and I went with her nicu roomate, MARK.. he is 5 days older then her and he was born at about 31 weeks, but was the same weight as Emery was, and they were in the same room together and she was always just a couple days behind him, even getting discharged, His mother and i have become extremely close and we get together alot .. so here our some pictures of Emery and her nicu friend Mark..
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missemery
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Posted by Paulamaurine | Comments: (1) | Permalink
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AGE AINT NOTHING BUT A NUMBER..
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Apr 21, 2009 08:12am (EST)
and mine is just a bit lower then mosts..
Topic of today is age, some of you may know some of you may not.. I am a young mommy. I am 20 I had Emery when i was 19, but and this is a big but, I have been married for almost 2 years, been with my husband for 5 years total and she was PLANNED.
I am saying this because, the minute people see me with a baby besides asking how old she is they feel the need to ask my age, they say wow YOUR SOOOO YOUNG! Most of the time i reply with YES I am! I get very angry about this because, most people assume my daughter was an "accident". and nope she wasnt , my husband is 24 and we both wanted children young. We knew we were getting married so i stopped taking birth control, it took us 8 months to get pregnant, i even got a book "The everything on getting pregnant book" great book actually. So i just get a little testy when people just assume this. You wouldnt believe some of the looks i get from people in stores, my husband laughs because he thinks its funny that I am a better mother then a lot of people , and my age has nothing to do with how well i can be a parent.
We have no family in California, they all live in Ohio, so my daughter is not being raised by anyone but me and my husband.
I love some of the questions i get from people "why would you want a child so young" my response, Why would you wait? that usually shuts them up or they respond with we wanted to be ready finacially, when they say that i say Well i am financially stable.
Another one i get alot is " You must be having such a difficult time?" Um are you saying this because I have an infant or because of my age. My response is, well actually i think most people with an baby would say it isnt easy..
Oh here is another good one " What about your education?" believe it or not guys IM STILL IN COLLEGE , i do online classes, and i take a class 2x a week at the campus after my husband gets home from work.
When i was pregnant my doctor kept using the term "Teen pregnancy" because i was 19 that always made my husband laugh, Im actually surprised he never went off on her, it took everything in me to not be a huge bitch to her, although J would tell you i was lol..
Anyways, the point of this story is I am an amazing mother anyone would tell you this, and it has nothing to do with how old I am. So next time you see a young mother think twice about the looks you shoot her, or the snide remarks you say to your teenage kids and husband.. It just makes me grateful for having the amazing parents I had.
Plus, When Emery see's me her love for me doesnt change because I am young she loves me because I love her with my whole heart, and I am giving her an amazing life. Her dad fights for her freedom and we couldnt love our little girl more!
meand emmie
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Posted by Paulamaurine | Comments: (2) | Permalink
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BEACH UMBRELLAS
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Apr 20, 2009 10:59am (EST)
We decided since it was a beautiful day in oceanside california yesterday that we would head to the beach. Which by the way is a whole different ball game when you have a small baby, last summer we would grab our 2 beach chairs 2 towels and be on our way.. yesterday though i had to grab stuff for emery to play with, our beach chairs, her diaper bag filled with everything, formula, hot water, another onesie, a hoody just in case the wind got to be too much, sun screen, diapers, a rattle, an extra pacifier damn the sand, changing pad , and baby food... seriously that was just one bag.. then i grabbed a book bag and put towels and blankets in there.. it was an ordeal.. then we realized.. SHIT we dont have a beach umbrella... which now i will be investing in.. how are we going to keep emery in the shade, my husband had the brilliant idea of using a normal umbrella. Desperate for sun i aggreed, it would get the job done..
Wooo hoo success we propped up are umbrella then covered it with our beach towels to make it lighter in color cuz it was black. laid a blanket undernieth it and watch emery lay on the beach.. We got a couple laughs from people about our makeshift beach umbrella, but i dont care everyone is broke right now, and i can not afford to spend 35 bucks for a beach umbrella lol..
I was stupid, after being so admit about bathing Emery in her 70spf sunscreen i didnt put any on myself... now my knees and thighs are burnt along with my face my entire back .. and ugh .. i guess i should take my own advice next time...
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Posted by Paulamaurine | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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