|
 |
 |
|
WELCOME, GUEST |
|
|
| |
 |
 |
 |
(3 members)
|
 |
 |
niylnnrae @a…6 |
 |
|
|
Hunter and R…6 |
|
|
|
cherdon6 |
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
|
LBT
liz loschinskey |
|
| Category: Home | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | | | | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
|
|
|
|
CHUCKLING...
|
|
Jul 29, 2010 11:15am (EST)
You know I sit here and laugh and swear out loud, because 2 times in under 10 minutes I've managed to spill my coffee on my crossed pj legs and keyboard. Why am I laughing? 
GOOD MORNING MOD'ERS!!!
Well, Helmet head, or shall we call her brain incubator, Tori's head doesn't smell at all with these new holes in it. Interestingly enough, he took the majority of the padding out yesterday to let her head grow in all different directions now. Slightly exciting to me. No more stinky foot head.
Finally-RAIN! What a light show last night, it was like fireworks in the sky! Tori's first Crackle of Thunder that shocked/scared her enough to tears, and my husband saying to me "That's the first smile I've seen in a long time" When I say, "hurry honey, let's go look at the lighting before it rains!!" Shove Tori in her spin around chair, run outside(I don't run), stand in the front yard, starts to sprinkle then it was like niagra falls in the matter of seconds....
We run back inside(this time I ran), and I say "That was the stupidest idea I've had in a long time." Laughing as I said it. 
Love and light friends,
Liz
|
|
|
Posted by liz loschinskey | Comments: (2) | Permalink
|
|
|
BLAH...
|
|
Jul 28, 2010 02:25pm (EST)
It's funny how others tend to wear off on you. I've been feeling the pain of an MOD'er here for a few days now, and I just want to hug her and watch mindless tv to keep her mind off of things.
With that, TMI, I know, I started my period yesterday which may explain my horrendous mood swings the past week or so, and the horrifying cramping earlier this month(hoping it was just ovulating). The extreme crying for no reason at all. Seriously, no reason at all. And the wanting to stay in bed all day and night.
I fired my shrink 2 weeks ago and started a new one yesterday. Oh I love her already. Her understanding, sympathy, and kindness, has built my trust already. We are going to start off with 1 week sessions untill I get this funk out of my system. I throw off this aura that I am this happy go lucky, GO TEAM person when in all reality....When I get inside my little pea brain, I'm not. I know exactly why. Self medicating is not the answer Liz. Not too many of you know this, After Mikey passed, I turned to alcohol and a dr, that fed me xanax like it was pez. In the meantime, I've done 6 months in rehab 30 days inpatient, the rest outpatient, and I've been sober since November of 06.
All of this stuff happens with Tori, every single emotion on Mikey comes flooding back in, even to this day, so I fired my old doc, for prescribing me benzo's again, when I specifically asked him not to, in fear of getting re addicted to them....which I saw coming, and I asked again, get me off the benzos, and he didn't. Piss off buddy.
In the meantime, I know why I'm depressed, why I'm down, why I can't handle stress, and extremely anxiety filled. I don't have a crutch. I don't have my alcohol, and I don't have my benzo's.(xanax and/or kalonopin) I have them, I'm just choosing not to take them. Actually I'm in the process of weaning myself. So with this, I've no crutches, And everything from my Mikey, 7 years ago, is flushing back through. Every Dr's appt, Every trip to Childrens of Pitts(Where Mikey died), Every EKG ,ECHO, pulmonary, eye doc, everything, that I have no control of, that I know I have to do for my daughter.
Jen had said a few days back about smelling all of Liams things. I tried last night, took Mikeys things out of his fireproof locked boxes and couldn't smell a thing. Noticed the blood splatters, his EG tube, his stickers *smiles* No smell tho.
I need to get myself together...PT at 10.45 and it's 10.24 and helmet appointment at 1pm.
Love and light people-
Liz
|
|
|
|
Posted by liz loschinskey | Comments: (0) | Permalink
|
|
|
*GAG*
|
|
Jul 25, 2010 11:30am (EST)
Again, I rise and shine at 5.30am. What in the hell...
Ok, This is the most horrible thing I've said about my child since she's been alive.
We had to sleep with our helmet on last night for the first time, she did well. I took the helmet off this morning, and her head smelled like nasty ass stinky feet. *holding mouth, attempting not gag as I did this morning*
I've been cleaning her and her helmet as I've been told. I follow direction to a "T", so I don't miss any steps and get anything wrong.
If you guys would have smelt her head....I think you may have gagged too. Like, I can handle baby poop. This smell was much different.
I love Tori and her stinky head.... 
Love and light everyone-
Liz
|
|
|
|
Posted by liz loschinskey | Comments: (3) | Permalink
|
|
|
SUPERMAN.
|
|
Jul 23, 2010 10:01am (EST)
It's 5.30am. I think there is something wrong with me. I fall asleep at pretty early then wake up at 5. I made it until 10.30 last night and am still up this early.
The next paragraph has absolutely nothing to do with Tori, You may skip if you want. or Chuckle at my husbands expense.
So yesterday, I thought for sure my eyes would pop out and my fingers would fall off, when I couldn't get my internet access until after 5'ish pm. My husband, who we will refer to as Superman, did some electrical work in the house, seeing as we have the majority of our large electricity sucking things on one...one...what the ehll are those things called?...One circuit? maybe. The previous evening as we watch wipeout, the little table lamp and my year round christmas tree(that is now a 4th of july tree untill our next holiday comes) turn off. I say, "dude, what happened to my tree? It just turned off" he says "Is it on a timer? Does it always do that? I say "No man, it never does that." He fiddles with the socket for a while, goes and checks the fuse box, the damn socket won't work. Ok. He says "I'll fix that in the morning." *giggling slightly out of fear* about a half hour later....NOTHING plugged into the outlet, sparks start shooting out of this freaking outlet. Yeah, he did something with the fuse/breaker/circuit....whatever it is, and shut half the house off of electricity just in case, and we went to bed. Back to yesterday, he fixes all of the electrical, and continued to work on the house, outside. We...He is putting new siding on the house, and installed new pella windows...ahhh, I love love love the fact I can clean the outside of the windows from the inside. Put all the blue stuff on the outside of the front of the house...well most of it, and will continue to work on it today. Superman he is. Mine at that.
Tori time. We got our helmet on Wensday. She kinda digs it. She just keeps touching it. She's not crying in hysterical fits anymore. It's a little heavy on her head, she needs to figure that out. We had physical therapy yesterday and she hated her whole life. Nearly brought tears to my eyes, watching her try so hard, crying and screaming in the process. When Miss Julie cuts PT short, and just holds Tori....We know she is not having a good day. Yesterday was 2 hours on, 1 hour off, no napping, or sleeping with the helmet. Today is 3 hours on, 1 hour off, napping allowed, no sleeping. We get to sleep in it tomorrow. We go back on the 28th, to get some air holes put in the top, and we need to shave some off the back. I told "Greg" It's rubbing on her neck pretty bad. Yeah it is. Call me crazy....I think it's working already. And if Mike and I were smart...we would have taken a before and after picture. Damnit.
Gonna scram-
ps-Little cat, real name is C-A-T get it (seeyatie) I call her little cat, is super enjoying this new window next to me. And there is enough room for little cat and meowsis (old decrepid cat who loves sun tanning)up there. I'm gonna put a pillow up there or something. Humidity is taking it up to over 100 today....wtf I live in Pittsburgh. Tbone is staying in the air all day.
I love you guys, thanks for reading my book and here's some pics of Tbone's princess crown....or brain grower....We haven't decided how to decorate it yet.
Love and light MOD'ers~~
Liz
helmet 001
helmet 002
|
|
|
|
Posted by liz loschinskey | Comments: (3) | Permalink
|
|
|
HI.
|
|
Jul 21, 2010 10:24am (EST)
6.16am
Stupid Apria Health, took all the oxygen ,left the monitors here yesterday. *kicks sticks*
Todays the big day....We pick up our helmet in 2 hours and 44 minutes.
Finally, it's going to cool down today. Storms the majority of the day, high humidity. Guess what that means.....my fat ass is coming home, putting my pj's back on, and playing with Tori, then watching all the judge shows while she naps. She has a new trick of falling asleep while eating 3 of her bottles during the morning and afternoon hours then falls asleep after her 8 or 9pm bottle then sleeps through....She's still sleeping now.
Gonna go take a shower....will update later today.
Love and light everyone-
Liz
|
|
|
|
Posted by liz loschinskey | Comments: (1) | Permalink
|
|
|
OH WOW!
|
|
Jul 16, 2010 05:35pm (EST)
So, I'm outside talking to my neighbors about the mysterious case of beer found in their back yard...sometimes I think they are crazy. At any rate, I see the ups man cruisin up the street.
The MOD still amazes me with litttle suprises. This suprise was my MOD blanket that I forgot all about! The last suprise was tickets to the Pittsburgh Pirates game. Amazing!
I thank you March of Dimes!
Love and Light-
Liz
|
|
|
|
Posted by liz loschinskey | Comments: (3) | Permalink
|
|
|
GOOOD MORNING MOD'ERS!!
|
|
Jul 16, 2010 01:43pm (EST)
Today is a good day so far! (it's 9.23am). I'm such a horrible wife. Last night, I heard mike set his alarm for 6, I watched him. He goes in takes his contacts out, comes back to the alarm clock and truns the alarm off. I didn't say a peep. I'm normally up between 5-7am. Mike had to be at work at 7. "Babe, it's 7:09" him "What??? this piece of $%*& alarm clock, why didn't it go off??" Hurry's changes his clothes , brushes teeth, I think, puts contacts in....runs downstairs. Runs back up stairs, gives me a kiss, I love you honey, see ya later. Don't forget to feed Tori!
As if I'd forget to feed my kid, but ok babe, see ya later.
I sit here and chuckle, because Mike and I just had a discussion about alarm clocks 2 days ago on how they aren't working right in our bedroom, his answer...."You don't even know how to use an alarm clock" Whatev...Mr. I'm late for work.
Ok, back to why I am really here. To any of the mod'ers or mothers that watched the nicu show last night...I was not impressed. Actually, slightly rubbed the wrong way. I do not want to offend anyone with typing, so I may skip some words. Those NICU visits were nothing like mine. Everyone is different I know. I was hoping to see more like my experience...the 1 pounder babies, the 24-27 week gestation babies. I see some of these women crying because their child had to stay in the nicu for 5 days, 8 days, I think the longest was 18 days, and they all went home. What about us mothers that are there for over 100 days, watching our child dying, then the nicu staff doing there magic. Do you have any idea how many times Mike and I were told Tori is not going to make it. You can't touch her right now. This is what I wanted to see. I wanted to see stories like mine.
If anything, I had a smile on my face the majority of the time watching the 2 episodes because these babies were absolutely adoreable and the joy of the parents faces when taking them home. Suprisingly, I did not cry. I smiled and knew God was at work.
I love you guys...total strangers...you are my rock. I appreciate this and am so grateful to have found you. I said to my husband last night..."I want to see what all the moder's say about the nicu show. It will bring up for some good conversation"
Love and light to you all-
Liz
ps-all of this equipment is still in my house. I called yesterday and will call again today...Friday which means pick up won't be till next week sometime. A-holes.
|
|
|
|
Posted by liz loschinskey | Comments: (2) | Permalink
|
|
 Archives
|
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
