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THE DAMRON DOLLS

kelly d

March 2010

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FIRST 9 DAYS

Apr 04, 2008 10:15am (EST)

I wish I would have known about the Share community when my girls were in the NICU. I would have used it to ask questions and seek support.

My girls were in amazingly good condition when they were born. Kaley was only on the vent for a few hours then put on CPAP for another 24 hours. Ashley was on the vent a little longer, but less than 12 hours. She was on the CPAP for 36 hours. For two little girls born at 30 weeks this was awesome!

The first time I saw K&A they had on the CPAP. It took up their whole face. I remember asking a million questions about the CPAP. What it was, how it worked, how long a preemie would need to have it on. I wasn't expecting my girls to be free of the CPAP within 48 hours of their birth. They seemed so fragile to me and the little that I knew about their development was that their lungs were still immature.

The nurses seemed a little nervous K&A were doing so well. "So well" being a relative statement. The screaming machines as they stopped breathing made me wonder why the CPAP wasn't still in use.

As most of you know or can relate, good times in the NICU only last for so long. On day 9, we received a phone call from the Neonatologist at 5:30 a.m. When the phone rang, I knew something bad had happened. We were told to get to the hospital ASAP. Since my husband answered the phone, I heard second hand what the doctor had said. My husband, Dave, wanted to shower and get ready for work so that he could leave directly from the hospital. My advice - get your ass to the hospital. Do not stop to shower, go, go, go!

When we arrived at the hospital we learned that Kaley had blood in her stool. It was serious. They didn't want to diagnose her without more results, but they suspected she had Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC). The Neonatologist informed us that some babies do die from NEC, but most don't. To some extent, she is right, but a lot of babies DO die from NEC.

After learning about Kaley's condition and her new routine, 10 days of antibiotics, no food, regular x-rays, measuring of her belly, etc. I opted to step out of the Pod for a potty break. When I returned it was every mother's worst nightmare in progress. The nurse had given Kaley a pain medication, fentanyl, before getting the vent ready. The pain medications obviously kicked in because Kaley stopped breathing! The Neo was screaming at everyone to get in place and get the vent ready, while she bagged Kaley to get oxygen inside her little body. Kaley's oxygen saturation dropped to 3 - not good!

I stood back in horror. My husband and I held each other as we both watched the chaos around our daughter. When Kaley was finally on the vent and the machine was breathing for her, I asked him what happened and he relayed the above details.

The Neo walks up to me and before she can say anything I blurt out "I was so scared." She replies calmly, "The NICU is a very scary place." No Sh*t, I thought.

This was to be only one of many scary days in the NICU. If you're wondering about Ashley, she was fine. She was our feeder and grower. One of the NNPs told me that babies that do good in the NICU tend to be more of a hand-full as they grow up. Ashley is starting to prove her right at 3 1/3 yo she is a lot more work than Kaley!

Posted by kelly d | Comments: (4) | Permalink

A LITTLE ABOUT ME

Mar 31, 2008 10:25am (EST)

My story in short version...my husband and I found out we could not conceive a child naturally. My hubby has male factor (MF) infertility. We used a procedure called in vitro fertilization (IVF) to try to become pregnant. IVF was our only real option due to the MF infertility.

We were lucky, sort-of. We did become pregnant via IVF with twins. I elected not to learn their sexes as I wanted some part of my pregnancy to be free of medical technology, manipulations or information.

At 24 weeks, during a routine exam, the ultrasound tech noticed my cervix was short, dangerously short. Since I was already at the hospital, they sent me to triage for monitoring. I guess I was having painless contractions that were preparing my body for labor. I spent one month in Antepartum, most of it on Magnesium Sulfate (Mag). I was sent home at 28 1/2 weeks to wait out the rest of my pregnancy on bed rest.

At 30 weeks, all hell broke loose. Actually, it was my water or pPROM. The doctors tried to stop my body from going into labor, but to no avail. I had 2 injections of trebutaline to stop my contractions, which started about 12 hours after my water broke. Since the treb didn't work they started getting me ready for a c-section. Before the OR was ready, baby A was crowning. My contractions were coming hard and fast. I think it only took 3 pushes for baby A to come out. Baby B was breach so I was put under general anesthesia since I hadn't had an epidural or spinal tap.

I waited in the recovery room for more than 8 hours since no room was available on the NICU floor of the postpartum unit. I was wheeled into the NICU to view my daughters for the first time. We name Baby A, Kaley, and Baby B, Ashley. I spent a whopping 5 minutes in the NICU before being wheeled to my room. I didn't touch or hold my babies until 24 hours after their birth.

Kaley was 2 lbs 11.6 oz, 15 1/2 inches and Ashley was 2 lbs 9 oz, 15 inches. We'd spend 7 weeks in the NICU. More on that later, this is enough for today!

Below are pics of K&A under the photo therapy lights, day 3. And me feeding them - it's a lovely photo of myself.

Kaley (lt) & Ashley (rt) 10-9-04

Kelly with both

Posted by kelly d | Comments: (2) | Permalink

NO GUARANTEES WITH FULL-TERM BABIES EITHER

Mar 24, 2008 07:12pm (EST)

Today I had a late lunch with a women seeking advice about a project she wants to pursue, a book. Her book is to be about how to live with the loss of a child.

She told me the story about her first born child, a baby born full-term and at a healthy weight. However, he had a cleft palette and heart problems. She told me how she blamed herself for the challenges her baby faced. She wondered what she did wrong during her pregnancy. Nothing. She wondered what she could have done to prevent his ailments. Again nothing.

She has some benefits I didn't as I processed the premature birth of my twin daughters, born at 30 weeks gestation, she didn't undergo infertility treatments that resulted in a twin pregnancy. However, I didn't choose for my husband to be infertile and we didn't choose to struggle in our efforts to become parents, first with infertility then with the premature birth of our girls.

Although, there is one lesson we should all acknowledge: many of us did/do nothing wrong. Many women carry their twin babies to full-term. Why was I to think I couldn't be one of those women? I did everything right in my pregnancy.

I'd love to know if there are other women who experienced prematurity after their fertility treatments. How do you process the experience of your infertility vs. the premature birth of your baby/babies?

Posted by kelly d | Comments: (3) | Permalink

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