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Jackie G

May 2013

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SHAREUNION - WHY SHOULD YOU GO?

Aug 12, 2010 01:07am (EST)

So lately there has been a lot of talk on Share about ShareUnion... Some of you already know what an amazing, wonderful thing it is, while others of you are thinking "what the heck's ShareUnion?"

I've been a member of Share for over 5 years now and I remember hearing about the first few ShareUnions and thinking "sounds cool, but I'd probably sit there in a corner all by myself and be lonely all weekend". I finally went to my first ShareUnion last year and I could not have been more wrong!!

It's basically a weekend of meeting the people who have supported you through Share, and learning how much our children mean to us and why we want to do everything we can to support the March of Dimes. That's my formal description.... my casual one? It's a weekend of laughing until your stomach hurts, crying with people who truly *get* it, and learning more about yourself.

I was nervous, I hadn't met anyone from Share in person. What if they didn't like me? What if they thought I was a dork or a clown or an idiot? (ok, I am kind of a clown but that's beside the point

) I think I drove my husband nuts trying to figure out the right clothes to pack, what to expect... My way of handling anxiety is just to question everything. But I shouldn't have.

When I walked off that plane, I caught up with some other Share peeps right away and hesitantly approached. I was greeted with hugs and cheers and, immediately, these people who I barely knew, seemed like old friends. Sure there was still a little hesitation on my part, but they didn't seem to have any. So quickly I was able to put my guard down, just be myself and I had a BLAST!

As soon as I found out what weekend it was for this year, I booked my mom to come babysit and I am literally counting the days. (50 days, 2 hrs, and 53 minutes for anyone who is keeping track).

Now, I know not to get stressed about meeting people, not to get stressed about what to pack, or how to figure out where I am supposed to be. The only thing I have left to worry about is how many of you can I hug in one weekend?!?

Hope to see you there! -Jackie

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (4) | Permalink

WHERE HAS SUMMER GONE?

Aug 05, 2010 08:55pm (EST)

It seems like everyday I log onto Share, some other teacher is going back to work. Wow! Some of you start really early!

Here in Michigan we don't start school until after Labor day, so we've still got another month of summer - not sure if that makes me happy or sad.

I love being home with my kids, don't get me wrong, but my house is wrecked, I'm tired of hearing "I'm bored", and I'm running out of things to do! Argh! I'm ready for school to start - yet, I'm not.

I'm not ready for Kimberly to start 1st grade - *1st* grade! I don't know why this is harder for me to accept that kindergarten. I guess I associated kindergarten with her still being a little girl and still being my "baby". But I can't do that in first grade - she's in real honest to goodness school.

She went full day to kindergarten but I am just finding the jump to first grade being so much harder for me. I was excited about kindergarten - she was ready and so was I. But 1st grade? How is she growing up so dang fast?!?! How do I stop this?!?

And Matthew starts his last year of preschool. I am happy about this, no question. He goes to a great school, too bad it's 30 minutes from my house.

It's well worth the drive but to be honest I'm tired of doing it. I've been making that drive 3 days a week for the last 3 years - I'm done. I'm going to get through this year however I can and then do a happy dance that both kids will be in the same school. Of course, I'll be a doing that dance as a blubbering fool that my baby is in kindergarten - guess I'll never get all my emotions on the same page! LOL (my poor husband

)

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (4) | Permalink

BIG SISTERS

Jul 10, 2010 02:31am (EST)

I hope that someday Matt realizes what a wonderful big sister he has. Sure, Kimmie is bossy and pushy and screams like a banshee when he upsets her, but she's his number one fan too. And I love that.

I've noticed in the past week how she has been trying to guide him and teach him and just really take care of him. I watched her stand up to the neighbor kids a couple of weeks ago when they tried to leave him out of a game they were playing. I watch her run over and check him out if he falls off his bike or trips over something. (the clumsiness is genetic I'm afraid

) Matthew is forever demanding that he be first, get the most, or just get something better than his sister. And while she will initially put up a fight she eventually tells me to let him go first, or to give him the bigger half, etc.

I don't know if it's just that she's beaten down from it by now or if she just really wants him to be happy. She always says "Mommy, just give it to him, I don't want to see him cry". Kimmie goes out of her way to make sure they tie when they are playing games, (or lies to make Matt think he won). I am so proud to see her acting like this and really caring about other people's feelings because I see it lacking in so many other kids. I figured school would have the opposite effect on her and she would lose her compassion being around so many kids fighting for attention. But she continues to be the sweet kid I know she is and it warms my heart. I just hope she isn't teaching Matt that he will *always* get his way.

Tonight as I was tucking Matt in bed, Kimmie came running in and said "I want to give Matt a kiss goodnight" so she climbed into his bed and planted a big wet one on his cheek. He laughed and said "Kimmie? You're the best, you're the best". It's days like these that make me feel like maybe I'm doing something right.

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (3) | Permalink

CRAZY?

Jun 25, 2010 06:32pm (EST)

Do you ever think you are crazy? Like certifiable, put you in a rubber room crazy? There are days I feel like that and I just hope no one catches on!

(so, sshhhhhhh, don't tell)

Let me define my craziness and let you decide...

I have an imagination that just runs all the time - I sometimes think my whole life is just a movie set and I'm sitting here waiting for the creepy background music to start. Simple things in life can trigger a strange thought and usually they are about something horrible - like my kids getting hurt or someone breaking into our house.

The other day I was taking the kids on a bike ride and Matt sped on ahead (as he always does just to make his sister mad). He got out of my site for a moment and in my head I pictured him wiping out, his bike going in one direction, him in the other (which in this case happened to be the street) and then I imagine that it's at the perfect time when a car goes by and hits him. This all happens in a split second and then my mind turns to figuring out how to save him. Do leave him still and wait for the ambulance? But what if they don't make it and I miss my time to cuddle and comfort him? I hate my mind for even letting me think this could happen. I don't know why I just jump into this mode but it drives me nuts! Why do I seem to make myself "disaster plan" before the disaster even happens?

It happened again 2 nights ago. My husband was out of town and it was storming outside. I heard something metal crash out on our deck.

But when I peeked out I saw nothing. Then my imagination went into overdrive.

I suddenly thought there was someone outside my house trying to break in. I figured They must have been hiding in the bushes when I looked out and that's why I didn't see them - but I was convinced they were there. I proceeded to check every window and door to make sure they were locked. Then I set a booby trap at the top of the stairs so I would hear them if they tried to sneak in. (A laundry basket and noisy toys typically does the trick - and no, it's not the first time I've done this!

). I then pulled out a huge flashlight because the only other weapon I have is a baseball bat which is in the garage and I sure as heck wasn't going outside right then! I slept with the flashlight next to the bed and made sure the phone was close enough to grab to dial 911. When my husband got home and I told him, he laughed at me. He knows me well enough to know I'm not *really* crazy, but a total worry wart. And why do I feel like just having my husband home makes everything so much safer?

Am I nuts? Does anyone else do this? Why does my mind automatically jump to the conclusion that something bad might happen? Why doesn't it imagine the car that was about to hit Matthew is actually an ice cream truck that scatters ice cream all over the street when it swerves to miss him by 20 feet?

Ok, well, the kids are napping so I need to go make sure they haven't twisted in their sheets to the point of strangling themselves....

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (9) | Permalink

FATHER'S DAY

Jun 20, 2010 01:36pm (EST)

Father's Day definitely takes on a new meaning when you become a parent. (duh, Jackie, no kidding!

) Ok, really what I mean is that I feel torn now - I know I need to honor my Dad and spend the day thanking him for all he's done for me but I want the day to be all about my husband... and then I feel guilty. I hate that we have to spend the day running around making "All" the Dad's happy and I feel like my husband never gets his proper "all-about-him" day. Oh, well, at least it doesn't seem to bother him as much as me. (Have I ever mentioned how high stress I can be?!?)

My husband is a wonderful man. We just celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary but have been together almost 14 years. Seems like a lifetime and I know there is no one else I could deal with for that long. LOL He amazes me with his charm, his strength, his persistence, his smarts, sheesh! Just about everything about him makes me smile. We met in college when we had classes together (we're both engineers) and started dating shortly after that. He's the only man I've known who can challenge me, win and not tick me off.

I knew shortly after we started dating that he was "the one". Sadly it took him a couple more years to figure it out, but heck, he's a lot easier to put up with than I am!

I knew when he became a Dad, he'd be great at it. But I didn't realize how great. He wakes up every weekend and makes them a big waffle and bacon breakfast. He plays with them and makes up stories and games with them. He would give his life to save them in a heartbeat. He's truly the world’s greatest dad. I am honored to have him in my life. And thrilled that he is the father to my children.

And when they say you marry a man just like your own father, I think they are right. My Dad is a great man and taught me how to work hard and how to take care of myself. And he's a smarta--. (Yup, that's where i get it). I remember coming home from a summer job one night and complaining about how much I hated it. His response? "It's supposed to be work, if it was fun they'd call it 'fun'!" He held my hand but made me teach myself how to walk. He taught me (which was rough at the time) that it doesn’t matter what my friends do/have, I still had rules to follow. And I owe him a lot for that.

Happy Father’s Day to all the great dads out there!

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (2) | Permalink

MILESTONES

Jun 16, 2010 08:58pm (EST)

So today was our first day of summer vacation and my former 25 weeker is now a kindergarten graduate! I can't believe it. She is growing so fast and while I am excited to watch where life takes her, I want it to slow down.

I remember when she was born and wanting things to happen soooo quickly. I wanted her to get out of the nicu, then I wanted her to start solid foods, then sleep through the night (heck I still hope for that sometimes!), then walking and talking. It just never happened quick enough for me. But Lord knows how hard she had to work at some of that stuff and I was thrilled to watch her accomplish every little thing. But now.... now I want to slow down. I want to take a break and let her be a kid again.

Ok, obviously, I know she's still a kid. I mean, she is only 6. But I feel like there is so much demand put on kids these days. I watch my neighbor rush off to activities for her kids every single night of the week, and I can't help but think "why?". Why do these kids need to play soccer, and basketball, and baseball, and hockey, plus climbing lessons and sunday school. It's just crazy to me. Kids should have time to play tag in the back yard. They should have time to be fascinated by the ants that are making homes in my garden. They should have time to just be *kids*.

I don't know why I am having such a hard time with Kimmie going into first grade in the fall. It's almost as if I believed time would stop after kindergarten. I was soooo excited for kindergarten, she was ready and so was I - but I'm not ready for first grade. Somehow I looked at kindergarten as a stepping stone to school - not as *real* school. First grade, now that is real. Maybe I'm crazy but it's like there is no turning back now - She's growing up and I just don't know how to stop it!

Dang, think I just sprouted another gray hair.

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (4) | Permalink

GOOD FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS?

Jun 15, 2010 11:45am (EST)

Neighbors... love 'em and hate 'em.

Let me start off by saying I do LOVE my neighbors. For the most part they are all really great families and we get along fine. Until recently.

A new family moved in a few months ago and they are.... different. Now usually I can handle different, but I'm getting tired of this. There are two girls, C (10 yrs) and E (8 yrs), who come over to play almost daily. I give them snacks, ice/bandaids, and they come into my house digging through our stuff with no invitation. This I can deal with. What I have a problem with is that after 3 months of nearly constant afternoon play, I still have yet to meet their parents. They let the kids out to go play and haven't spoken with ANY of the other neighbors either. So I am left to care for these girls who don't really add anything to the play dynamics. In fact, they usually come over and start fighting over toys with my kids. Heck, my kids do that fine without you here, so go home! The older one has told Matthew more than once that if he can't play nice with them he has to go inside for a time out.

WTH? He's my kid, I'll punish him as needed. They do not need to stay at my house if they are not having fun. She has also told Matt that *he* gets the last turn with *his* toys because they are the "guests". I had to inform her the other day that when you come over every day and help yourself to my food, you are no longer guests! UGH! But my kids love to play with them so I hate to just tell them not to come back. It's just weird to me that the parents don't even care where their kids are playing - wouldn't you want to at least meet the people your kids were spending hours a day with?

Which then leads into the other neighbor problem, the little girl next door, K (5 yrs), who used to play with my kids all the time, prefers the new girls. If my kids come over to play she tells them to go home.

Twice in the last week, she's told the new girls "Well, C and E, you can come in the house. Kimmie and Matt, I'm not inviting you." She also only allows C & E to touch certain toys of hers. In all fairness, her parents jump right in and make her apologize and let everyone play, but not before my kids are hurt. And I'm probably more hurt than anyone. I just don't know how to explain to my kids that some people are just rude like that. My kids have been told that if people come to our house, either everyone plays or no one does. I won't have a child feeling left out.

And as a kicker, the neighbors who we are really good friends with have been doing similar things for different reasons. This is a family we talk to and play with daily as well. They have some counselors for a summer camp staying with them this summer and their kids are quite possessive of them. Kimmie and Matt went to play with them a couple days ago and were told by the youngest (who ALWAYS wants to play) to go home because they weren't invited over. But "Oh, can we borrow your soccer net?" NO! You can't kick my kids out and then ask to use their toys! Absolutely not.

The icing on that cake was that the kids were playing at their house yesterday and Kimmie got a cut on her finger. (She has some warts on her hand that we've been aggressively treating but having a tough time with. Her skin is dried out and it cracked.) My neighbor, told her to come home to get a bandaid from me.

By the time she walked across the grass there was blood running down her finger. I couldn't believe my neighbor wouldn't even give her a band-aid. Or a tissue, or something! I assume she was scared of the warts and didn't want to touch her but come on! Hand the kids a napkin and then send her home. Sheesh!

Even just to keep blood from dripping on your deck on the way home!

So now, my job this summer is to keep Kimmie and Matt busy so they don't have the option to play with the other kids. I can't have them feel beaten down every day this summer because the neighbors are being mean. It just breaks my heart.

Wow, ok thanks for listening to me rant. I needed to get that off my chest!

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (6) | Permalink

NOT MYSELF

Jun 13, 2010 01:28am (EST)

Have you ever had one of those days where you look back and wonder what crazy monster took over your body? Today was one of those for me and I just can't wait for it to be over.

It started out with everything going wrong... drove 20 minutes to swim lessons only to get there and find I forgot the swim bag with the kids suits. Tried to call my husband to meet me halfway with them and after 14 calls (no joke, I counted) he finally answered and was able to meet me 1 mile from my house.

He did help me strip the kids down in the car and change them so I didn't have to change them in the locker room which was nice...... until we got done with lessons and I realized I left their dry clothes in the car! UGH! Cable guy showed up to fix our cable box - good, right? Yes, except that I feel like an idiot because the problem was that the guys finishing our basement pulled the wire out - so an easy fix that would have saved me 40 minutes on the phone with the cable company.

I spent an hour in bed just trying not to cry today. The rest of the day I spent yelling at the kids (who fought ALL day long), and getting frustrated trying to help my husband work on the basement. I'd like to blame it on PMS but I can't say that's really the issue.

I think I'm just stressed. Stressed with the remodeling we are doing, stressed with pressure from both sets of grandparents about when they can see the kids (and they both want them at the same time), stressed from issues with the neighbors kids being mean to my kids.... I just want a break. I just want a day for me just to sit on the couch, watch horrible reality tv shows and eat cookies.

And of course, right now is when *neither* set of grandparents can take the kids!

At least it's quiet now, maybe I can still find some lousy reality TV and salvage the rest of this day.

And I'll hope that tomorrow is another day.

Oh! Reframe: At least Share didn't crash on me today!

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (5) | Permalink

LIONS AND TIGERS AND SHARE BUGS - OH MY!

Jun 09, 2010 02:26am (EST)

So I typed up a blog post earlier today and then, surprise, surprise Share crashed again!

I know some of us have been going crazy without Share, and I want to apologize for all the issues we've had lately. While I don't know exactly what is causing all of it, please be assured that people behind the scenes (with a huge THANKS to James!) are working to get it cleared up. We know how important Share is to everyone and we don't want you to have to go a day without it. Please bear with us while we get the bugs taken care of.

And I for those of you, like me, who are totally forlorn when Share is down, we need to start a support group. I can't hardly make it through the day without my Share fix! So let me begin..... "Hi, My name is Jackie and I am a Share addict"

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (4) | Permalink

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

May 09, 2010 03:23am (EST)

Soooooo... Tomorrow morning is Mother's Day and my kids have told me that they will be waking up early to give me my presents and then they will go back to sleep. (One present is a surprise and the other involves a 4 year old screaming "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY" at the top of his lungs

Guess which one I won't be thrilled with at 6:30 tomorrow morning? )

Very tough call for me.... I *desperately* want to sleep in tomorrow but I know how excited they are and I don't want to dissapoint them. The problem is that I am a light sleeper so once I'm awake it's very hard for me to go back to sleep. Especially if I am woken by a little boy screaming in my ear.

It's been a long couple of weeks with DH traveling a lot for work and then Kimmie hasn't been feeling great. She's been coughing a lot and not sleeping well. Not to mention she woke up early this morning and I took her downstairs so my hubby could sleep in. So I want my sleep.

Horrible, I know, but I want to be selfish, and I feel like on Mother's Day I should be able to be selfish. I have tried to convince the kids that no matter what time they get up (which will be no later than 8:00 am guaranteed) I will still be in bed. But they have made it their mission to get up early and then go back to sleep. I'm crossing my fingers that my husband hears them first and intervenes.... but I'll keep you posted!

Of course, after all this grumbling I come back to Share and it puts so many things in perspective for me. There are so many of you who would like nothing better than to be woken up by your child, and here I am grumbling about it.

Being a mom is tough, no doubt about it. But being a mom to an angel has to be the toughest job around. I can't even imagine it. Heck, I don't want to imagine it. I don't want there to be moms who are missing their babies. I don't want there to be moms with empty arms. I want every mom to be able to hug their child before bed and to whisper in their ears. And I want *every* mom to know that they are loved on Mother's Day, because you are. Not only by your angels, your children, and your families, but by me as well. You are all an inspiration and I am honored to know you.

I hope that, while I am rolling over, cursing under my breath, and trying to fall back asleep tomorrow morning, some of you are being woken up by a bright ray of sunshine through your window that just screams "HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, MOM!"

Hugs to you all! -Jackie

Posted by Jackie G | Comments: (2) | Permalink

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