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lvazquez

May 2013

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PROFESSIONALISM

Jan 17, 2011 03:56pm (EST)

I mentioned the other interview that fell through in December. I had guessed at several reasons for why this might have happened. To my surprise, the Principal contacted me again last Monday. She got busy. I inquired about the situation at the school as to why there was an opening and was she still looking to hire for this current Spring semester or for next Fall. Apparently, the current teacher "thought" that she would have to leave mid-year, but has decided to stay. So, they are looking to replace her for the 11-12 school year. I told her that I was still interested in interviewing (!) and told her my availability. We were e-mailing to confirm this past Wednesday and I hear nothing back! She's left me hanging again with no follow through! This is unbelievable! No phone call, no message, no e-mail, nothing until Friday afternoon. All apologies again and wants to know if I can do it this week at a time that I am unavailable. Do people read their e-mails or are they just so in their own world that they can't take a second to scroll down to a prior response?!

I know what this is. It's only January and this isn't priority on her list of things to do. She's putting me off again and again because she can. This has never happened to me. I mean, I've taken most of the administrative courses in order to become a Principal and you don't do this to people. I'm not sure if this is even someone I can work for. Geez, I wonder how long it would take to get a PO approved with this person? It's so close to my house though and I might be willing to overlook some character flaws in the money is right. I might have an interview this week if she and I can arrange a time that works for both of us. Even if I interview, I might not hear back for a few months:) I'm applying to several districts and updating my online apps with others, so I'm not putting all of my eggs into one basket.

I am keeping busy with organizing a MOD kickoff this Saturday. It should be a good time. It's my first event as part of the FTC (Family Teams Committee). I've attended in the past, but wasn't part of the organizing. It should be a nice time weather permitting.

Funny note: My husband is a teacher and does extra duties afterschool for cash. In the Winter, he runs the clock for all of the girls and boys soccer games. I was getting the kids in the car for school one morning this past week when I told Donovyn that Daddy would be home late tonight. He asked, "Daddy has a football game tonight?" He meant soccer, but I just rolled with it to avoid an explanation. In most parts of the world it is called football. Anway, "Yes," I said. "Oh is he the whistle?," he asked. "No, Daddy's the clock," I said. Had me laughing all the way to school!

Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (4) | Permalink

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Jan 01, 2011 05:37pm (EST)

It's hard to believe that another year has gone by. A year ago, I was having some chest pain as 2009 came to a close and I felt as though I was saying goodbye to my son and my dreams all over again. I didn't want that year to end. Not sure where 2010 went either. But even with all of the heartache these past 22 months, I am so grateful for discovering Share and meeting my Share friends. Thank you for helping me to navigate through this tough terrain. I wish for HOPE for everyone in this new year.

On kind of a funny note, I was thinking back to x-mas last weekend. Santa gave me a good hair day and my period. Thanks Santa! You know, I must say, no one ever told me that one's flow would be totally different after a tubal ligation. It's like a crime scene down there. Periods seem so senseless for ME at this point, but I'm not ready to "stop the flow" (for now). The last thing I want is to be launched into early menopause. Yikes!

Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (7) | Permalink

CHRISTMAS 2010

Dec 28, 2010 01:37am (EST)

The job interview at the charter school was . . . interesting. Kind of a laid back interview, mostly at-risk students who want to go to college. It's a small staff, nice people from what I could tell. I showed them my portfolio of activities, lesson plans, calendars, assessments, etc. I kept my LOA reasons out of the conversation. I just said that I'm a mom who needed to take some time off with my kids. That's true. Well, this kind of took me off guard, but they needed to do a drug test (cheek swab) in order to offer me the job. I really wasn't expecting that, but I said that it would be fine. Then, we get to salary and well, it was less than daily sub pay. I practically sleep with a calculator, so I already knew that it wasn't going to pay. I've worked just to pay daycare in the past and I promised myself I'd never make that mistake again. I had to say no thank you.

My other interview fell through. Yup, couldn't believe it, but it did. My thinking is that the job had been posted for so long, maybe the school was hoping that nobody would apply. Sometimes if classes need to be created due to failures in other subjects, they dissolve classes in other departments in order to provide a budget in order to offer a class. The four sections of French could have been shuffled to create Math or English classes. Who knows?! It was a last minute thing, but I guess because I've been hoping for something "new" to focus on, that maybe one of the two would work for me.

Forces seem to be telling me that it's not the right time. Even though things are what they are, I guess I'm supposed to just wait until next Fall like I had originally planned. I know that something will come up, something is bound to land in my lap. My goal for 2011 is to TRY and stress less about things that I cannot control. Whew, that's going to be tough, but my BPs will thank me for it.

Christmas was nice. The kids were happy with what Santa brought and they were pleased with Round #2, my parents' gifts. I'm glad that they did leave me with gift receipts just in case. There was a lot of drama as far as where my parents would be spending the holiday earlier this year. In the end, they were very pleased to spend it with us and we outdid ourselves on the meal. Kuddos to my hubby for cooking the turkey! My elderly grandmother came too! Wheelchair, walker, diaper bag, potty seat and all! It's a lot of work to have her visit, but she really had a good time, ate a ton, and really liked seeing the boys. I'm so glad that they got a chance to know their great Grandma. We never know if this might be the last one with her.

Hard to believe that it was 5 years ago that we brought home our little Donovyn just in time for x-mas. Three scary weeks in the NICU, the smallest diapers and clothes I would change thus far. We are so aware of how fast time is flying by.

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Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (5) | Permalink

I WISHED FOR AN INTERVIEW - I GOT TWO

Dec 16, 2010 12:40am (EST)

It's too funny. Just when I had sort of given up looking for a job this coming Spring. Boom! I saw a position for a P/T French teacher at a charter school. It's just two classes and it's a bit of a drive. I found the school today and clocked the mileage. I am interviewing tomorrow morning. The hours are fantastic, but I'll have to see.

Just as I am gearing up for that and thinking about the possible questions I'll be asked, the Principal of the other school calls me and wants to schedule an interview. Geez, cutting it really close. Both schools are closed for the two-week break, but one school heads back on 1/3 and the other starts on 1/5. This other school is much closer to my house and I'm familiar with public high schools and such.

In a nutshell, I have two interviews tomorrow and that's A LOT to take in for someone who hasn't taught for two years. The other is .8 FTE, so not full full-time, but enough to qualify for benefits and things. It's also super close to my son's school and I could pick him up like usual. I guess I'll go to both and just compare and contrast and look at those options.

I'm not too excited to have my little Tristyn in daycare. That just opens ups another can of worms. I'll let you know how it goes. Our budget has been getting tighter and so I feel the urge to get back out there, do something I love, and make the trek back to the teaching world, . . . I think.

I took this picture this morning. My boys are getting bigger! I wish that they could stay this age for awhile longer. I remember the baby days as if they were yesterday, but having an actual converstation with your kids and listening to their perspective is wonderful and funny!

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Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (5) | Permalink

UPDATES

Dec 10, 2010 04:50pm (EST)

Alrighty, well my last day at the preschool was this past Tuesday. It's really okay. I should have never taken the position to begin with, but I had to see I guess. I turned in my keys to the secretary and stopped by briefly to talk to some of the other office staff. I had one of those awkward moments.

I was talking to one of the gals who was trying to be positive for me as far as finding another teaching job or just a better part-time job. She was asking me if my son, the one who was with me, was in preschool yet. I told her no, but that he would be next year. I mentioned how my oldest is in early Kinder this year and then she asked it. "Where's your third? Don't you have a third?" I was shocked! I calmly said that I did and I pointed upwards. She said, "Oh, I know that you had one pass away, but I thought that you already had three." I didn't know what to say or do. I don't expect people to keep track, but I guess I thought it was common knowledge how many children we had. She didn't mean to be hurtful, but of course I had tears the whole way home.

Urgh, I was watching Oprah yesterday and I have been following the Petit family in the news and the conviction recently. One thing really struck me that he said. He said," When your parents die, you are considered an orphan. When your wife dies, you are a widower. When your husband dies, a widow. What do you call someone who has lost their child or their children?" I thought of that a lot yesterday and he's right. There are no words for it . . .

I picked up my pottery from that fundraiser I did a few weeks ago. It turned out alright. My kids are putting dimes in it of course:)

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Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (5) | Permalink

PRE-SCHOOL JOB

Dec 04, 2010 08:29pm (EST)

Oh, it's December already. Geez, if it wasn't for the tree or the turkey last month, I don't think it would faze me. I mentioned a job awhile back that was full of possibilities. Well, not so much come to find out. It was such a waiting game. I thought that I would've started weeks before, but it took such a long time to hear back from the administration. A few more weeks to hear anything back from HR. I've been doing it for awhile now and it's more trouble than it's worth.

The little kids are great! It's everything I do at home, but with a paycheck. The problem is that my little Tristyn is missing his afternoon nap which he and I both desperately need. I am allowed to bring him along, but he is more of a distraction for the other kids and students. My husband has so many school committments and it's been hard for him to go and pick-up our other son in Kinder too. He's driving back and forth and while we are both experts now at tag teaming, we're exhausted. I like the job and I'd like to keep it, but I'm not going to put my oldest in afterschool care till 5:30 or 6:00 p.m. to make a few bucks. The afterschool care is kind of ghetto, and I'm not comfortable. So, I let my supervisor know that they'll need to post the job once more because I won't be able to do it next semester. There is disappointment of course on both ends, but she understands.

Nobody expected me to take the job, but I thought I'd give it a try. I think I'll just look for more cuts out of our budget and focus on spending Spring at home. It's where I belong I suppose. I can go back to the classroom even as a sub next Fall if there are no teaching positions out there. I might have a small prospect coming. A family whose son I sat for in April/May called me recently to see if I could help them out a few days part-time. They figured I was teaching, so they didn't bother calling me. I had that interview in CA around that time and they assumed that it all worked out. They contacted me on sittercity and were really excited to know that I was still around. This couple was super nice and professional and they are willing to drive to me which makes things SO much easier.

So, that could be something for me. I tend not to get too excited about things until they actually happen. I feel like I've had so many alternate plans this year.

Positive note, my son's school did a little holiday concert this past week. He was a reindeer and they sang Rudolph. So proud!

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Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (3) | Permalink

THANKSGIVING

Nov 30, 2010 05:33pm (EST)

We had a nice Thanksgiving at the house. My husband cooked the bird and I did the dishes. It works! My parents do their own thing for the holiday, this one in particular. Every year around this time, I always go back to thinking that it was 5 years ago that my first son was born. I remember visiting him in the NICU and staying for hours. I remember getting the call for blood platelet transfusions and always that feeling in my stomach walking into the toasty NICU after singing the Happy Birthday song at the hand washing station. I do love that floor petal to turn the water on and off.

My oldest is now 5. I really can't believe it. There are still so many days where I just don't want to participate in life, but I have two little faces that need their mommmy and that's what keeps me going. I am so thankful for them and so sorry for the one who didn't get his chance at life. I don't feel as though it was God's will; it was my OB's negligence. There is nothing that I can do about it.

So, for my son's party, we had it at the little park near our house. This way, people could use the bathroom if they needed to. I hired a face painter again, ordered pizzas, and made a fruit salad. I've never done a pinata before, so I was able to find a dinosaur one and the kids loved it. I made cupcakes this time and put l'il plastic dinos on them. I wanted to mix it up a bit.

Urgh, I finally saw Sex in the City 2 and totally could relate to the part where Charlotte is crying in the closet. I was sort of laughing too. Totally fell apart when Aidan shows Carrie the pic of his 3 boys. I really was looking forward to that scenario. I am truly thankful for my boys and our angel above. I hope he knows just how much we miss him and think of him everyday.

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Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (4) | Permalink

MOD FUNDRAISER

Nov 18, 2010 05:12am (EST)

Alrighty, well I'm new at the fundraising as far as getting businesses onboard. In honor of Prematurity Awareness Day, I had a fundraiser today at As You Wish and Rubio's. It was at two locations and the idea being that folks would paint and then go eat. Donovyn had a half-day at school, so this was perfect! I picked him up, dropped off Tristyn to his daddy's classroom (not really allowed, but I do it anyway - 5th Hour who cares), and drove to the painting place.

Donovyn chose a dinosaur which is perfect with his dinosaur themed party this Saturday! I can't believe that my little boy is going to be 5! He painted it green and wanted pink spots on it. Initially he wanted a pink dinosaur, but I nudged him to go green. I know, I shouldn't have interefered with his color choice if the kid wanted pink, but I didn't want to stare at a pink dinosaur. We compromised and it turned out great! It will be ready to pick up this Saturday too which is great because then I can wrap it and give it to him Sunday (his actual birthday)!

Well, I'm just a little disappointed about the fundraiser. I was told that there would be a box clearly labeled MOD right there at the register so that any paying paint patron could drop their receipt in the box and have 20% go to MOD. I looked around at the register. There was no box. Nothing. When I asked, the gal showed me this clear box with no labels whatsoever. So, only the receipts of people who made reservations to paint for MOD went in there. This changes the whole fundraiser. So, yeah, disappointed. It took A LOT of energy and phone calls to do this and I realize that it might take a few to get the kinks worked out. I hope the next one I do is more successful. I did see some former work colleagues show up and that really meant a lot. One of these women shared with me that her sister was diagnosed with HELLP and lost her 26 weeker baby boy back in 2002. She went on to have a daughter, a 38 weeker, who was there painting tonight along with her auntie. I thought that was super special!

I'll post pics of the items when they're finished. I'm exhausted with all of the running around! My house is now quiet, it's late, and I should be heading off to bed myself. I am hoping that my son gets a few more invites to his party, but if not, it will be a small group. It's always interesting to see who reciprocates:)

Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (4) | Permalink

HALLOWEEN

Nov 04, 2010 08:01pm (EST)

Alrighty, so this time of year is tough for me because two years ago I was pregnant with Naethyn. In 2008, Donovyn was about to turn 3 and Tristyn was 14 months old. I had picked up a pumpkin at a local farm with kids along and I felt great! We carved the pumpkin and I took Donovyn out Trick-or-Treating. We had a nice time and I stopped at chatted with our neighbor and told her the good news. It feels like that day just happened. It's been two years and sometimes it feels like 2 years have gone by and sometimes it feels as though it just happened. That's what weird about it.

The kids went as Thomas the Train and James. My son is Donovyn James, so it fits perfectly. Trying to get my bang for my buck out of these costumes as much as possible. I did let go of the baby Yoda costume I had on Craigslist awhile back. I had so many great ideas for three little boys for costumes. It would've been a lot of fun. Sigh.

They were out for about an hour and came home with full pumpkins/treat bags. Tristyn doesn't seem to care for anything but Kit Kat. He's got a wide variety in there, but he just wants "K." That's what he calls it:) I'm glad that they had a good time and there were no smashed pumpking on our street the following morning.

Last week, I did get to chaperone a field trip with my son's Kinder class. It was really neat and it was his first time on a school bus. Parent chaperones had to have a fingerprint clearance card in order to go. I was so happy that I already had mine and jumped on the opportunity as seats were limited. We had a fun time carving the pumpkin Donovyn chose. I made sure that he chose one that he could carry.

I haven't started my job yet. I thought I would start this past Monday, but hasn't happened as of yet. I still need to go down to HR and sign my W-2, but I'm told to wait for a call from an administrator. I guess I'm in no hurry. I just know that whenever I do start, I won't get a check until 2 weeks out. Oh well, I did half of my x-mas shopping in October and now that I know where I am spending my holidays, I may have just cut my shopping list in half afterall:)

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Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (5) | Permalink

MY WEEKEND

Nov 03, 2010 02:22am (EST)

This past weekend was going really great until I answered the phone on Saturday afternoon. I was alone all day as hubby was off at swim regionals with his swim team (season is almost over) and so things were fine. The kids were even playing nicely with one another. I think that they miss each other during the week when one goes off to school. Side note, Donovyn gets to stay in early Kinder! He scored well on his tests and got a lot of really great feedback from his teacher a few weeks ago. We are very pleased. It's strange because I just learned that his teacher has a 4.5 year old son whose birthday is right around Donovyn's due date! Wow, yeah, he could've been born in Jan. '06, but my body had other plans . . .

So, the weekend. My mother starts in about this procedure she had on her stomach. She'll get more results in 2 weeks. She's worrying like crazy that it's something and I just don't even know what to say. We're not close the way most mothers and daughters are. So much has happened in 5 years for me and so many hurt feelings that I just don't even know anymore. She wants to hear concern in my voice and go on and on about what it could be, etc. So, I told her what she told me when I called with not so great news 20 months ago concerning my own health. I told her that it was probably nothing and that she really shouldn't worry until she has the facts. Worrying is just going to bring on stress which isn't helpful and while I'd like to know what those tests results are, please don't call me during one of my favorite shows. Nice. So, that started the next round of "WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO SPEND YOUR HOLIDAYS?"

My family hasn't eaten together for Thanksgiving since the week Donovyn was born back in November of 2005. What a lovely way to rally around your daughter. I came home on a Wed. night. I had no idea if my baby was going to be okay. My mother is calling me and asking me if I am going to be able to make it for turkey dinner the following day? Are you freaking kidding me?! My breasts hurt like you know what, my middle feels like someone just cut me open (because they did), and everything hurts. I was only in the hospital for a week, but it wasn't fun. I thought maybe they'd bring Thanksgiving to me, a plate, meet us at the hospital, visit in the NICU, lounge in the lobby, SOMETHING! No. I hobbled down the street to my neighbor's house (my realtor) and ate dinner with her family.

I LOVE this time of year and always have. However, with everything that has happened concerning my sister and my parents kind of taking her side, I feel like an outsider. Some might say that it's my fault or that this can be easily remedied. I don't think so. So, when my mother tells me that she is doing x-mas at her house, obviously it's undertstood that you know who will be there and I won't be coming. So, I get to choose the runnerup date to exchange gifts. And mind you, if they come to my house, the visit will only last a few hours before my dad starts to jingle his keys in his pocket which is code for "I'm ready to leave now." And God forbid they stay past 2 p.m. because of traffic. And because they can't keep their grandkids straight, I'll get asked questions as to whether or not Tristyn, who is 3, is still taking a bottle. I'm tired of it all. It's been this way every year for 5 years.

My mother got the best of me . . . again. I got angry and I still don't know what we're doing for x-mas, but hubby says that they can come here and drive or they can send the gifts in the mail. He doesn't want to do x-mas twice. He wants x-mas to be on x-mas and I do too. So, I guess we've decided.

Geez, no support when I had a baby in the NICU. No support when I got to bring one home. No support when I lost one. These feelings always hit me this time of year concerning my parents. It just reminds me constantly of the kind of parent that I hope I am for my kids. I can't imagine NOT being there for them. Again, everyone has moved on, but me. I can relive every moment as if it just happened. I remember every detail because it did happen to me and it's affected me in so many ways for the rest of my life. My birthday is next week. All I can think of is that I am one year closer to infertility and one year closer to seeing Naethyn. Urgh. I need a cocktail . . . maybe two.

With all of the conversation this weekend, I stayed home and passed out the treats. Hubby took the kids around and had a great time! I'll post pics in the next one.

Posted by lvazquez | Comments: (6) | Permalink

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